Shy Person: Are you a shy person or were you shy before?

@annierose (18021)
Philippines
May 19, 2010 3:05am CST
What keeps you a shy person? There are some people who are shy only to strangers and new acquaintances but when it comes to the persons close to them they are no longer shy.On the other hand, there are also people who are so gregarious that you will not have an idea that they were shy person before. What do you think are the reasons for a person to be shy with other people? What do you think are some ways to overcome shyness?
2 people like this
24 responses
• United States
19 May 10
Hi annierose, I am shy until I get to know you and I feel at ease with that person. Take care Snow
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Thanks snowqueen. You made me blushed. I just want to know what is in me that remove your shyness?
1 person likes this
• United States
20 May 10
I am sorryI misunderstood. I really can't answer your question because I don't know you but I would like to get to know you. You seem like a very caring person. Have a wonderful day Snow
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
oh,,it is nothing, don't worry snowqueen. I wish to know of you more also.Your avatar is so cute.
1 person likes this
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Hi annie!! I'm shy when I'm shy... I don't know. I usually choose people who I want to show who the real me is but most of the time I am what I am. shy may not be the right word for ME.I think I'm just being careful of how I act on people especially for those whom I don't know much. They might misinterpret how I'm acting.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
People who I not mingle with think of my as a very shy person. However, the exact opposite of it will be heard with my close friends. Some people always tell me that when they first met me, they thought I am a delicate person, but now they learned that I am not.. I guess it is a normal thing to be shy with new people that you meet along the way. It is also normal not to be so chatty with people whom you do not like much. Anyway, it is practical not to say much if you don't like the person because once you try to talk with him, it might end badly.
@yresh12 (3222)
• Philippines
22 May 10
I see so you really are shy when you do it some people.. I think the right word that I can describe why I'm acting that ways is that I'm hesitant.
@ohiocy (215)
• Malaysia
20 May 10
Hi, I was a shy person and still am but not that much as compared to before. And what is it that helped in reducing it? Well whenever u are starting to feel shy just remember three sentences: live life to the fullest, just do it and do the thing that scares u the most.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
Your post is quite adventurous and very challenging. Living life to its fullest is such a great way of living. We only live once so make the best out of each day God provided us. According to the book I read, what matters in life is not doing a thing 100 % better but doing 100 things 1% better.
@ohiocy (215)
• Malaysia
21 May 10
Yes, totally agree. Life is just as long as you make it to be. And i like that last sentence " what matters in life is not doing a thing 100% better but doing 100 things 1% better" guess I'll be posting that sentence to my bedroom to remind myself everyday. Cheers.
@redhotpogo (4422)
• United States
19 May 10
I'm still a bit shy, but not as much as I use to be. I can talk to people now, but I'm not the kind of guy that's going to walk into a room, and just start running my mouth. I don't have that big of an ego, that I would think that I could just start talking, and people would actually care. But like I said I'm getting better. When I was younger I was really shy. Especially if a girl was talking to me. I would just turn my head away, or shake my head alot. lol. Or I would hide behind my dad. And I only talk to people that I know really well. I almost whisper to them so that no one else can hear, and if someone walks up I'll stop talking. To overcome shyness you just need a good friend. Someone to introduce you to people, and get them asking you questions that aren't too personal. But not putting you on the spot. I think its good to be a little shy though. I won't give up my shyness completely. It keeps me from saying stupid things, or acting like an idiot and embarrassing myself in front of everyone.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
20 May 10
A little shyness is ok but its extreme is not good.I am glad that you are able to cope up with your shyness. I am also thankful with some of my friends who are talkative, outgoing and really smart. They help me a lot to change the timid personality I have.
• United States
21 May 10
Yeah it is not good to be extremely shy, because then people will walk all over you, and use you. You need to be able to speak when its necessary, and take charge when you're needed. So a nice balance of shy, and outgoing. Too much of either is bad.
@Keola12 (717)
• United States
19 May 10
Some ways a people can overcome shyness is to get involved with activities or organizations with people they have something in common with. Common interests are important.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
20 May 10
That is true. Were you shy before? I was also instructed by my friend to join activities which interest me. That way, I can participate actively because I really want the group or club that I want am joining with. That makes me beat my shyness.
@Keola12 (717)
• United States
4 Jun 10
Actually, I used to be shy from the time I was a little kid in elementary school, all through middle school and all through high school. It was during my freshman year of college that I overcame my shyness, because I felt more comfortable with myself and with my college classmates. I guess this is because college students are more fully matured than high school students are, and have a better sense of who they are or what they want to be as people. Also, during my college years, I became acquainted with people from many different socio-economic backgrounds and cultures. The people I encountered during my college years made me feel so comfortable to be around them. From my own experience, I found that most college students are not judgmental like the students were in high school on back.
@bloggeroo (2171)
• Philippines
19 May 10
I'm going to use the word "timidity" instead of shyness. I found out from the book, Emotional Intelligence, that timidity has a physiological explanation. Timid people are born with a brain chemistry that makes them sensitive to the slightest surge in adrenaline. This makes their hearts beat faster when confronted with unfamiliar situations or any kind of stress. When this happens, the timid person will be quiet because brain activity (i.e., thoughts flooding his brain) will be interfering with his ability to speak. According to the author, children will overcome this as they grow up. I don't really know about that because up to now, I still have this situations when my heart will start racing and I am in a fight or flight situation. Now that I'm aware of this condition and because I'm familiar with most things that agitate me or frighten me, I can bring it under control. Anyway, shyness or timidity, it's a brain thing.
@bloggeroo (2171)
• Philippines
19 May 10
Yes. The amygdala is where it all happens. And I think a lot of people who are "shy" seems to have this condition. But I haven't actually had people confirm this fact. By the way, timid people can also exhibit rage or an outburst of anger. The "fight or flight button" or the amygdala works both ways. Since the same adrenalin is still in our system and our hearts are still racing, the body can also choose to fight instead. Anyway, I just know of certain timid people including myself who had experienced rage in the past.
@eric_lin (19)
5 Jun 10
i used to be a shy person when i was a high school student but i break myself to be more outgoing cause we can not live in this world alone
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
5 Jun 10
That was I discovered also. We are considered to be a social being. It means nobody can live his life all by himself. We exist in this world because of a purpose. We are the one who has the sole responsibility to discover what our purpose really is. A shy person who always stay inside his shell cannot discover this purpose in his life. It is because he is always keeping himself inside the shadows of his shell. If we will always be like that, we cannot enjoy our existence. It is because we are putting limitation on ourselves being a shy person. Life has many wonders to offer on us and we must have eagerness and courage to accept and face it.
@steelkhan (179)
• Sharjah, United Arab Emirates
22 May 10
yes i was very shy a long time ago because my father and brother used me and killed my self confidence but then my mother's mother (grand mother) told me very simple thing that changed me forever she simply said "dont think" at first i didnt get what she is saying but then i found out what is the meaning of her words. now when i am among people i think i am alone and (or) all of the people are like me. i can even go out naked because i dont care if any one is looking at me or not. THANK YOU DEAR GRAND MOTHER.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
5 Jun 10
I can see from your post that your grand mother made a deep impact on your personality.
1 person likes this
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
21 May 10
I cannot say that I was a shy kid and I cannot say that I was an outgoing personality, either. I was a reserved kid and I am still to these dates. Getting into a new situation, I will be a silent figure. It is not because I am shy, it is more because I am observing and getting to know my environment. After sometimes, I will know how to speak to this guy and how to speak to that girl. How to behave around this group and how not to offend another group. I can be a morally good woman with this man, and I can be a total tease with another. Sometimes I think I am like a chameleon. I assess the new situation around me and play the part well.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
You can handle yourself well. I can say that you are a smart woman. It makes me think you are also a calm person because you know how to balance things with your environment and with the people around you.
@verptc (247)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Those people who are shy never to express their self because they are afraid of committing mistakes. Shy person is inborn and still they are inhibiting to it until they have grown up.I have observed it in my children who are shy to speak in front of any strangers or in my neighborhood. Shyness or timidity is happening to any one who by their own thinking cannot express what they want in public.But shyness can be controlled by being bold enough and courage to change. Brave enough to face the reality that every one is subject to ultimate change of life whether we like it or not.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
Having the courage to overcome shyness is one good step. Whenever I feel shy, I just think that we are all created equal by God. No one can be considered superior or inferior. We all eat foods when we are hungry, drink water when we are thirsty, go to toilet when nature calls, and sleeps when we are sleepy. What matters is that we do our best in every way. By doing our best, it improves our strength and develops self confidence which helps us to beat our shyness.
• China
20 May 10
I think it has something to do with the environment in which we grow up and I myself am good example. I am a very shy person but only to strangers and new acquaintances but when it comes to persons close to me or people with whom i am familiar with i am no longer shy. I think all of these resulted from the environment in which i grow up or rather because of me family background. i grow up in a family in which my parents are very strict with me when i was a small kid. They didn't allow me to go out to play with other kids. All that i can do is to stay at home to play with my siblings and as time went by, i become shy in front of strangers and not sociable. Even now i start working, i am still a shy person. I want to change it but it is not an easy job.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
We had same history when we were just kids.I spend my childhood days more inside our home. I can say that when I was a kid, many people admire me because of my appearance. They thought me as cute and they call me a doll.I am not like a typical Filipina. Many mistaken me as a daughter of a foreigner who can be an American or a Spaniard because of what I look.I was intimidated by some few child friends because of my appearance as well. While all of them have brown skin, black color of eyes and hair, I have white skin, brown eyes and light brown hair. That what made me somehow depressed on what I look like and that what made me shy before.
@JoaniZik (90)
• Philippines
20 May 10
hi there! one of the reasons why people are shy is personality, another is upbringing. to be shy is not abnormal. i am shy to most people and i learn to accept that fact. there is no need for me to "change" in a way change my personality. awareness is enough and from there you can adjust depending on the situation. i am shy but my work requires me to speak before people at times. i didn't try to overcome shyness, but i did study and understand what it is. now that i am aware, i can make adjustments. you can do it too.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
Studying how to handle your shyness is one good way to improve more as a human. When I think that things are going in a way I do not like it to go, I always do a reflection. Sometimes, I cannot get what I wanted because of my shyness. That motivates me to move forward and oblige myself to make a move.
@ndubose (418)
• United States
19 May 10
I wouldn't say I am a shy person around family and people in general...But, my spouse definitely knows how to make me blush we have been together forever and I still feel shy around him that is so weird.....
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
I am sometimes like that too around my family and friends. Although, I am always with them and share my life with them, I cannot say that I am all the time not shy with them. So, it not only happens to you but to me as well.
@aprilmmm (77)
• France
19 May 10
I'm not a social person, sometimes introverted, especially in a group discussion. I always prefer listening to talking, in fact, I don't have much to say, no matter in a group of foreigners or with the people who speaks my mother tongue. But when there are less than three people, I can talk freely.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
It is same with me. I love to listen than to talk. It makes me feel that people always wait for me to utter wrong words while I am talking. I know I sound like a pessimist by that. I sounded like that because when I was studying in college, my classmates were like that. Some of them listen not to get information but to ridicule someone reporting in front once he utter wrong words or grammar.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
19 May 10
I have been known to be shy, but that was mainly out of fear. Fear of what others may respond to me. I can be out-spoken sometimes which can be a good trait, but it will usually get me in trouble. It depends on the situation. In fact, I would have to say over the years my shyness has developed into a more complex creature considering I've got years of bad things stacking up against me. If you ask me a question I generally will answer openly and honestly, but I'm not much of a conversation-starter.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
That is same with me sometimes. However when I am with my friends and I notice that they are so quiet, I cannot stay quiet. I prefer to break the silence and think of something to say that will get their attention.With other people whom I do not know much, I tend to be silent unless they will be the one to start the conversation. I answer their questions and give ideas as long as I can share something.
• United Kingdom
19 May 10
I'm quite a shy person at heart and I think this tends to affect me the most when I am with a group of people. I think that I am stuck in my ways but if truth be told I have happy and content with the way I am, I have found self-acceptance as it were! I think that if you are seriously shy as a person then this can place limitations on you in terms of moving forward and making progress in life. I'm sure the shyness also relates to lack of confidence in many situations. Still, I'm not overly bothered about this, I used to be but not now! I'm happy and content and I hope to remain happy and content for the rest of my life! Andrew
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
21 May 10
I think so that if I remain so shy all my life, nothing will gonna happen in my life. I cannot attain what I want in life and cannot be successful. Those factors motivate me to change myself. I spend more time making a reflection about my personality. I make myself more active by being friendly and joining different organizations. Those actions leads me in meeting new people who helps me to improve more on my chosen career.
@thekelz (277)
• United Kingdom
19 May 10
I'm an introvert by nature, whenever i'm with strangers or if I'm in a group disscussion, then my mind goes completely blank I cannot think of anything to say, I get really uncomfortable and usually say something that I don't mean or say something really embarrasing it's a real nightmare. But when I'm with my friends I'm ok. I can start conversations, dominate conversations but if a stranger comes into the fold then I revert back to not saying a word. Weird.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
20 May 10
I am like that too. Most of the time,I get intimidated whenever there is a person who dominates a conversation. If I am with a group of people I am not close with, I only speaks when they are asking me something. I never starts the topic with group of people who have different characters with me. I feel so uncomfortable because I am not like them in almost everything. We do not have much things in common that makes me shy to go with them.
• Indonesia
19 May 10
overcame about shyness 1. its must be yours self 2. don't shy to ask to be sure 3. to read the books many successful people
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Thanks for the response. Your answers are good but I guess to make it better, you must explain it further. It will not only give benefits on me and with other readers but on you, yourself as well. Happy mylotting.
• India
19 May 10
Shyness is something which is born with a person. But by the way he/she is brought up it may or may not remain forever. If you are shy before than just to break the ice start talking to strangers. This will build in confidence and it will due course of time help you overcome shyness.
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
20 May 10
I can say that shyness is normal to a person if after some years, he changed from a shy person to an improved person. On the other hand, there are some persons who cannot overcome it even he grow up. I guess, there is a disturbance on psychological state on that kind. I am happy that I was able to overcome my shyness as I grow up.
@phoenix8606 (4978)
19 May 10
hell0 there! well, years ago I was really very shy guy and I even wonder nowadays how could I be so shy then, but still can't find out. so it was when I still was at the high-school, between 8. and 12. grade- every time I went to school I always walked with the head down, just because I thought that all the people I walked by are watching at me and someones even laught at me. oit was so redicolous but it was true. everyday , when I went to school alone, without my friends, I tried to walk as fast as I can, just to pass by the people and reach the school faster so that no one can "look" at me. But it all has changed when I came in 12. grade- I suddenly realized that there was nothing scary about it and that actually no one is looking at me. then I got more "open" to the others and even found some new friends. nowadasy I am not shy at all, and I am even the "soul" of the company, among my friends. I always try to be funny, just because that's what I am- a person with a great sense of humor and I always try talk with all the people and look them straight in the eyes, and not with the head down. I am so happy that I could overcome this "phobia" and now I feel really much much better then that time, when I was a very shy student :)
@annierose (18021)
• Philippines
20 May 10
I was like that also. Whenever I went outside the house, I always thought all people looking at me. However, as time goes by, I realized that people have different businesses. Why will they care on me much, right? It is a good thing that our the level of our shyness is mitigating as we grow up and interact with more people. I believe that having friends which are talkative, outgoing, and gregarious will also help for a timid person to get out of his shell and be like them.