What hurt themost the one who left you or the one who gives you false hope?

false hope, false promises - false hope could be a way to say just to avoid hurting partner but keeping to believe on it is not healthy at all
Philippines
May 19, 2010 1:23pm CST
In every relationship some hope it would last for a lifetime. But there is an instance it breaks and tends to loosen leaving each other hurt. On the other hand some left saying the most acceptable reasons while others stay to remain while suffering because of false hope but manage to stay. What makes you stick to your partner it may be promise or just a hidden lies keeping you hope for the best when there is none at all. What do you think for you is more acceptable, when your partner left you or the one who gives you false hope? 5-19-10 13:22
6 people like this
17 responses
@khalida (1130)
• India
19 May 10
well i think if someone is lieing in a relationship and gives false hope, that would be better as it shows that , that person cares! so what ever be the problem can be discussed and positive steps can be taken to build the relationship and makes both the parties happy! :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 May 10
hi khalida, That is the case if they could still be remedy the troublesome relationship and when both are ready to negotiate under their own free will but if they all lies just for the sake of others reasons and conditions to remain as a couple with the absence of love is a deception and in the long run whoever lose its patience could finally say goodbye. thanks.
2 people like this
@lsk123 (39)
• India
20 May 10
If a relationship tends to turn down or you feel someone to betray you then why you need to stick to it? Enjoy your life at your own, if you find one to be deceiving simply avoid him/her. Think positive and never rely on anybody too much.
19 May 10
i think this is all a necessary part of the human development plan.... we have to learn to cope with both being rejected and whether we wish to continue with what may be a lie or false hope that things will improve. i lean toward i am who i am, i hope u can cope with that! take me on face value and i will do the same. if things are bad and they cant be repaired then an honest approach is best all round. i've felt the pain of not knowing what i did wrong, but with age u do truly get a little different spin on things, and get to see that sometimes things really do happen for a reason even if that's not apparent at the time. i wont willingly live under false hope.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 May 10
hi wendie, It is hard the fact to accept rejection whether in love, job, career or in friendship but as you mention it is normal. But some people would rather cling and pretend things still alright to the point they are being blinded loving only the person who is the focus of their attention while the other person fail to show it or only show it out of pity or just say to married couples just stay fro the sake of their children and for the other people so to avoid scandal. bit the real score the other partner like to escape but could no do so some things holding them back while the other like to be release. very true as what mention it is better to accept the real truth than pretend both care under false hope could be compare to a deception and betrayal. thanks.
2 people like this
@Porcospino (18385)
• Denmark
20 May 10
Both situations are painful, but I think that a person who gives me false hope would hurt me even more than a person who is honest. If the other person leaves it is painful, but at least I know where I stand and that would make it easier to deal with the situation. If I think that there is still hope I wouldn't be able to get on with my life, and I would be wasting my time with someone who didn't really want to be with me, but stayed out of pity or something like that. In the end that would be more painful than a person who "just" left me.
• Philippines
20 May 10
hi porcospino, indeed very true, living out of pretenses in the long run it would only be reveal and the situation could even be worsen when the two partner just keep the relationship for the sake of their children or more concern with their status symbol so they often carried out a relationship like they are perfectly blessed or match with each other but deep inside they like to go out of separate lives. So it is best to be honest with the feeling and whatever outcomes it just a matter of acceptance and though t may be painful to bid goodbye it better than to live in deception and betrayal. thanks.
2 people like this
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
19 May 10
For me,its the one,who gives me a false hope is the person who will be hurting me the most... I don't really care,if I get dumped.. It happens in a relationship and it is also quiet common.One must keep in mind that whatever is happening is for good.One should not bother about it much and its better to move on with that very fact. But with false promises,I personally,feel a bit cheated.So,I find such person really unacceptable and unforgivable.
• Philippines
19 May 10
hi tuyakiki, Yeah, it is better for the person if he does not love anymore his partner to tell it right down on her face than keeping false promises so the other partner would no longer hope for their relationship to work where it is very impossible. While other who enter such relationship happen to accept it under condition or negotiation so they still hope one day the other partner would realize his love is for real and not the fake one just for the sake of companionship or children they stay but the truth their is no love anymore. S it is so hard to stay in such relationship where their is presence of deception and betrayal. than ks for your responses.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164645)
• Garden Grove, California
19 May 10
while I have never experienced this at all I woud think that both would hurt a lot and both equally as it is sick tome to give someone false hopes as they are playing with a person's feeling and life, and being very callous. better to leave and make a clean break, anything else is really cruelty.
• Philippines
20 May 10
hi hatley, yeah, both situation hurt especially when one develop closeness and when it times to bid goodbye it may be unacceptable at first but it heal by time though it could not be forgotten. And living with the person who have a fake love and only one cling to it is not a good reason to stay just like what you mention it is cruelty. just release the person and it may even felt better. thanks.
2 people like this
@rosie230 (1674)
19 May 10
I think it would be more acceptable for someone to leave a relationship and be honest about it, even though it would hurt like hell... but I think that would be better than sticking with someone and giving false hope, because you would be living a lie, and in the end it would probably all fall down around you, and end up hurting even more.
• Philippines
20 May 10
hi rosie, yeah, it is better the truth would set you free as the saying goes. It maybe painful but that is life as some are born to be a winner and a loser. though, not all the times rejection lead to lonely roads their are times it is just a sort of awakening for the person to realize the relationship once she/he have is a total mistakes so their is a chance to make it a better the second time around with another person who is perfectly honest and could be trusted. thanks.
2 people like this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
21 May 10
neither one change partners for ya dont want lies and the one that left must not have been good eithre
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
21 May 10
I guess it will be the one whom gives us false hopes.. NOthing hurts more than having our loved ones lying to us, or failing to live up to expectations.. LEaving is easy, as the pain one suffered is temporarily.. BUt the memories brought to us by them, will always be with us.. The moment we think about it, those wonderful promises etc, all came to naught.. And it's the feeling, which pains us, rather than physically their physical presence ^_^
@neildc (17254)
• Lapu-Lapu City, Philippines
21 May 10
i could find a better lover if my partner left me. but it is more painful for me to know that a hope is hopeless.
• Philippines
20 May 10
Oh that is actually a tough question neelianoscet... I think the more painful is when we were left out. It is hard to accept the pain of rejection... It would take a lot of time to overcome the sadness brought by it... While with false hope... it is somehow misunderstanding... like we are just assuming... Some people are just too sweet and kind but doesn't really mean anything at all to him or her... It is somehow are fault. Atleast there is no real hard attachment between the two person, unlike with the first one... Both scenario is not acceptable to the one who was hurt... but in time he or she would find heart to forget and move on...
@arakawaii (271)
• Philippines
20 May 10
For me its hurts the most when you give false hope, its just makes miserable along the way of relationship and in the long process only pain will be left in your hearts. While when someone left you there would be a chance of forgiveness...
@umabharti (3976)
• India
20 May 10
hi,the best thing is better not do any promises and not to show any hopes unles anyone could stand on the promises made.false promises and false hopes are both hurting to anyone made by partner.
@markleob (1904)
• Philippines
20 May 10
it hurts more if you are expecting for nothing than knowing that you already have nothing to expect.. that is all i can say, if i were to wit..
@derek_a (10902)
20 May 10
If one is going to leave a relationship, it is the honourable thing to do to cut all the ties and definitely not leave the other person in hope that you may come back. Somebody once did that to me when I was around 16 years old and well, it was not very pleasant. She kept me hanging on and would often come on to me when I met her out and about with friends, and this went on for about 6 months. Then one day, I met somebody who I felt really attracted to and her to me, but when the first girlfriend saw us out together, she went crazy and started shouting all sorts of abuse. I reckon it was her that had a problem with relationships and was happy to get out of it! _Derek
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
20 May 10
I would say the one giving you false hope. Rather leave me than waste my time. TATA.
@daliaj (5689)
• India
20 May 10
According to me it is hard to accept teh false hope thatn the one leaves. Leaving or Ditching is kind of acceptable if children are not involved into it. False hope is something which is very difficult to accept when I am concerned. I accept that it is hard if my lover wants to ditch me, but I am a person who is not ready to cry or feel for somebody who doesn't care about my feelings. So, I can accpet the situation easily compared to the situation of false hope.
@JoaniZik (90)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Hi there! i think you got a serious issue here! well, I think people who give false hope is going to hurt me more than those who would leave. Because those who leave may at least be honest or brave enough to say it's over between us, but the one who stays and lie deserves a slap in the face! lol! yeah, because it is a sign of immaturity and cowardice for me. Another thing about what you said "what makes you stick to your partner" I believe that it is more of a commitment thing than, those promises, or even feelings. feelings are unstable and promises are avenues for quarrel. for me that's the thing that makes me and my Queen stay together.... as in forever, our commitment! our feelings may go down but the commitment is there always. so why not commit than promise or whatever, You take care!