when a women loves a man and he does not love her back what should she do?

United States
May 19, 2010 10:39pm CST
see it all started back in january of 2010.you know women takes big risk and goes out with guy and eventually they really click but unfortunately he doe not feel the same way. so i need to know what to do because frankly i am tired of playing super women.
3 people like this
18 responses
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
20 May 10
It is indeed a big thing and a big risk when the other feels something strong but the other person doesn't feel the same way. I know that this feeling isn't limited to the women, but it actually goes same with men as well. As a woman, I am conservative, but this doesn't mean that the feeling hasn't crossed my path in this lifetime. This actually reminds me of a lot of times when I felt more than the man did for me. I didn't really ask him out, neither did he. We just met on common ground and I thought we hit it off but on his side, I was just a friend. It's really very uncomfortable for me. I did my best to look cute, to show him that I'm something worthwhile. With all these efforts, I feel lost and I wanted him so much, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Worst would be the fact that he's into someone else! So, what did I do and what was I supposed to do? I did what I thought was right. I let go. Well, I actually made him think I was over him or not interested but deep in my heart I was obviously lying. But what else could I do? Who could ever force someone to love you back? right? I don't think it's worth really to force someone, most especially if he doesn't feel the same. Sooner or later, you'll be the loser. I could attest that forcing a person to return your love is not really a good idea because I have a friend who was forced to marry a girl because all his friends and family would say so. They already have a kid together and people thought that there's no choice but to marry the girl. He did marry the girl. Sadly, I don't think he's really into it. He doesn't perform well, doesn't work, doesn't do anything for the family. Instead he is selfish, doesn't take care of his kid and obviously he's not motivated to do anything for the family. I think indeed it's a wrong move for the girl to do the first step. You see, we girls could fall in love with someone over time - we could see their worth if we just give it time and effort for them. But for guys, it's different. You cannot force a guy to love you - ever. If they don't love you, let them be. The effort isn't worth it.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
21 May 10
You have pride, Laydee, and I like it. I am more or less like you (at least in this topic of discussion). Love involves two hearts. If one loves too much and the other does not, it will never work. If pushed, both will be hurt in the end. And there's an old saying: love does not have to own. You can always love him from a far, pray for the best for him, and be happy when he is happy. In time you will find someone you can love and who loves you in return. You only need to open your heart. Be happy. Shouldn't love make people happy?
1 person likes this
@tjen_anni (319)
• Indonesia
24 May 10
There are many of men out there that deserve to be loved... If he doesn't love you back then why you hold on him..He doesn't worth to get your love..Even he looks like brad pitt or keanu reeves, I'll better look for someone who respect my love....
• Philippines
22 May 10
the logical thing to do is move on.give yourself time to cry,vent,and scream all the frustrations you feel.let out all the negative emotions before moving on.while falling in love is a good feeling,it is always a risk and is never guaranteed always a positive outcome.let yourself be happy first and enjoy the relationships you do have with friends and family.be grateful for your life and always think positively.
@acey76 (1278)
• Philippines
21 May 10
..Leave the guy.....a relationship works two ways and not the other way around cause in the end its only yo who will suffer and get hurt....leave him before its too late that you love him so much you cant let go.....theres some one out there waiting for you dont rush......=)
• United States
21 May 10
The first thing you do is consider yourself lucky that the guy was honest to you regarding how he feels about you. You would be in a much worse situation if he was a jerk who took advantage of your feelings for him by borrowing money from you, asking you to pay for joint travel, and receiving nice gifts from you -- all while stepping out with some other woman.
@med889 (5958)
20 May 10
She should back off because love should be from both sides and not one sided, and if she will force her way through she might encounter difficulties as the boy might be rude with her. And she will be hurt too so better accept that her turn has not arrived.
@umit_umit (1986)
• India
20 May 10
well friend i think the person who does not bother to answer to you is not the correct person as in love both are active and respond to each other!its true the person who lacks commitment and true love for you doesnot bother! so i think that you should not continue with this guy for long!
• Pakistan
20 May 10
Dump him?
@pcserver (395)
20 May 10
Love Potion - I'm joking. If he does not love her she should just leave him and find another one who would love her the same as she. but leaving someone who love is not so easy so it is complicated but it depends on the two people's personalities.
@rhinarea (311)
20 May 10
why waste time on the person who doesn't love you. go and move on.
@p_vadla (1687)
• India
20 May 10
Its a great thing to hear a woman loving a man and getting rejected.All the time I get to hear about incidents of boys running after girls in the name of love and having varied experiences like rejected,dejected,failed and frustrated.But in the final analysis the man in question has all the right to be what he is like.It could be that he mightn't have understood her or got already involved with somebody else. Whatever the reason it could be for,she too have to move on with life without wasting time on one issue concerning the life thinking it is for better.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
20 May 10
Unfortunately with dating there are no guarantees that he is going to feel the same about you as you do him and visa versa. One thing I've learned over time is that it helps to hold back a bit longer and get to know the guy better before jumping into bed with him. That does lessen the heartache somewhat when you realize that it isn't going to work out. Also, it helps to lower your expectations down. I don't start dating a guy and expect it is going to be "happily ever after." Instead, just relax and take it where it goes.
• India
20 May 10
try try till you make him love you. Men doesnt have a strong heart like females. so you can try a lot and im sure you can get him surrendered. show him the beauty , kindness and prompt look out. that will do. i have done this in my life. i mean i have adviced girls to do such things in similar situations and they got their men. so why dont you try this....
@OConnell87 (1046)
20 May 10
if he dont feel the same way then dont waste your love and time on someone who doesn't really care for it, there will be someone out there you wants your love
• Philippines
20 May 10
Well i dont claim to be as beautiful as Julia Roberts, but i tell you if a guy doesn't love me back, surely i won't waste my time with him for i believe there are lots of fish in the ocean and there is somebody out there who deserves my love and affection. We cannot beg for love, for love should be freely given. (^_^)
@elvieb02 (696)
• Philippines
20 May 10
she should move on because it will just hurt her if she will continue her feelings toward that man, they can remain friends or if it's difficult to see his face without making your heart jumps, then tell him directly that you don't want to see him.
@mykmari_08 (2466)
• Philippines
20 May 10
Hi there. In this particular discussion, I assume you were talking about your very own situation in a relationship right now. I’m sorry but I may sound like prying on your private life but I feel that you’ve left out some important details. How did you know that the guy doesn’t feel the same way? Did he tell it to you straightforwardly? I guess I’ve seen so many types of relationships that I tend to see it differently from the outside. If the guy isn’t attached to anyone and he still feels differently about your relationship with him, I guess he either has someone else on his mind or he isn’t ready for a relationship. He may have other reasons why he doesn’t want to enter into an intimate affair with you. Maybe, he just wants your company but this doesn’t guarantee a relationship, though. Further, he may not be so vocal about it and he might also be interested in you but he’s just taking his time on deciding whether he is up for the relationship. Anyway, if the situation is still on a standstill a few months from now, I feel it’s best that you leave the guy on his own and look for another person, instead, unless you’ve invested so much feelings into it. Best of luck.
@desrie (297)
20 May 10
hey super woman, what's up girl?kidding...hmm...he doesn't love you, is that it? then it's best for you to just move on. there are more guys out there if you just open your eyes wide. guys with more worth than the one you're wasting your time on.