If it comes down to it, I am choosing the dogs!

@dloveli (4369)
United States
May 21, 2010 6:31am CST
I am so po'd right now! I would've used caps to emphasize but you know the rules. Anyways as most of you know I have two dogs that I love more than life. I also have a man in my life that Im kind of fond of as well. However, there's a problem. My man tends to favor the yorkie rather than the pomeranian. I have had several conversations about it and to no avail. This morning I am in the kitchen and I hear him putting the leash on one of the dogs. My pomeranian is a barker so I heard him running in to me barking. Usually he will do this out of excitement. Today when he ran into me I heard the door shut. My man took Dunkin, the yorkie outside leaving Machi my pomeranian. Machi is a high strung dog but still. I never picked favorites between anything. Never between my dogs. They are both males and are territorial enough. I really am upset about him doing this. I really think he thinks its no big deal. Its a big deal for me! I never want to break up but Im not going to start dividing things. Am I wrong? He thinks too bad for him. NO its not too bad. Its too bad for him right?
2 people like this
18 responses
• United States
21 May 10
You are not wrong! Yes it's too bad for him. I am very careful not to favor one more than the other of my dogs, My oldest is jealous enough with me adding to it.
2 people like this
@maximax8 (27055)
22 May 10
I think that you have to tell your man that you know he prefers your yorkie called Dunkin to your pomeranian called Machi. I think that both your dogs are special to you. You should tell your man seriously that he has to like both your dogs equally. I have got two miniature poodles. Secret is white with black patches with a bit of apricot. Magic is plain black. Friends tend to prefer Secret because he is stunning looking. He is loud with barking, energetic and playful. Magic is quiet and runs out of energy on longer walks. You should tell your man you don't want to split up but the dog situation is annoying you big time. You need to make him realize he must change his attitude I think. Good luck whatever you decide to do. You are right in choosing your dogs.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
23 May 10
Thanks for the kind words. I dont want to choose anything. I would like to keep together as a family. However it breaks my heart when I see Machi's face as Dunkin is going out the door. Usually I end up taking him out myself. I dont want to fight. I just want him to see how hurtful it can be. I would never dream of doing that to either of the dogs. I told him today that I didnt like them being split up because we are trying to teach them to get along. This is only drawing a line in the sand if you will. Well I think he got my drift. We'll see tomorrow. thanks friend. dl
@syankee525 (6298)
• United States
21 May 10
humm i have to say this is the first to hear anyone breaking up over dogs. but i would ask him when he take one out to take the other out. and if this is your biggest complainmnet from him think it could be much worst
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
21 May 10
I have had several conversations and I probably wont leave him because of the dogs. It just hurts that I have to watch the other dog cry. I love my dogs just as I love my family members. I just think its not too much to ask. thanks dl
@ddaguno (3110)
• Philippines
21 May 10
Just tell him how you feel about it. I'm sure he'll change.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
21 May 10
Thanks my friend for the hope. Unfortunately I have had this conversation several times. I am going to get a little more serious and see if that helps. thanks friend dl
• United States
21 May 10
I say if the man doesn't respect your wishes he does not respect you. However, if it's about dogs...when did a dog come to mean more than a human. Sorry, if I love the man.. the dogs gotta go!
@nangisha (3505)
• Indonesia
21 May 10
Hello my friend. please think twice before dump you man, I think your both still can communicate about it and find a good solution. I am not an expert in this kind of situation but don't make decision when you mad ok....
@Wizzywig (7860)
21 May 10
I dont think I'm enough of a dog lover to appreciate your feelings here. Is he taking the yorkie out for walks or just out to poo? If the pomeranian is highly strung, maybe he just doesn't feel confident enough to deal with it or keep proper control. Maybe he likes the yorkie better... they're not his dogs so he doesn't have to be impartial.
1 person likes this
@chickabee (119)
• United States
6 Jun 10
Here is my view on this subject for what it is worth: I have a very soft heart for dogs and other animals. They do have feelings. I think they can get their feelings hurt as we all can. It actually made my heart hurt to read of your little dog seeing his friend getting taken out and left wondering why he didn't get to go also. I know how you felt. It made you angry and you can't understand how the man in your life could do this uncaring thing. I feel exactly the same way and even though I don't know him it makes me mad at him too. Here is the sad part. You can talk to him until you are blue in the face and he might say he agrees with you and he might even take Machi the next time. But, how does he really feel about it? No amount of talking or pleading can make a person really change the way they feel. It is either there or it isn't. You have a soft heart or you don't. Some on here may think I am stretching it but I sincerely feel that if he could do this to a helpless little dog what if you had two children and he liked one more than the other. In my many years on earth I have found that folks generally behave in a similar pattern in all their relationships be it human or animal. It particularly alarms me that he still persists in this even though you have talked to him about it previously. He ignored your feelings too. Have you wondered what he does when you are not around? Just some food for thought. If I were you and I stayed with this man I would get a hidden camera.
@reinydawn (11651)
• United States
31 May 10
I didn't notice it until we got our puppy recently, but my husband is kinda the same way. I mean, he treated "my" dog pretty good while she was alive, but he's treating the puppy very differently. It is different because my dog is no longer with us so it's not like it's showing favorites. But he does show favorites to "our" dog, more than he did "my" dog. Men sometimes have no clue!
@Loverbear (4929)
• United States
22 May 10
It sounds like he hasn't been in a situation with more than one dog in the house. Especially with two males! Dogs are pack animals and there is a definite Alpha dog. With two males they are in constant competition for the Alpha role. Something as simple as one dog being taken for a walk while the other is left home can set off a horrible war between the two dogs. I have three dogs, and would love to take the two mini Dachshunds with me for car rides. I don't because I know it will cause friction between them and the pit/lab mix that is sharing my home with me. I also have four cats and I don't show that kind of favoritism with them either. It would cause some awful wars between the cats as I have three neutered males and a spayed female. I could have some wild fights with them if I showed them too much favoritism. Explain to him that this kind of favoritism can't continue. It will cause fights between the dogs and there could be serious problems if it reaches that point because very often they will do the battling when you're not home. With the size of the dogs if a battle starts and they rip each other open, they could die very fast. Peace between the two little guys is absolutely necessary and if your boy friend can't walk the two dogs, then he shouldn't be walking the favored one. It is like showing favoritism between children. The child that is left out feels resentment, the resentment builds and soon the battles begin. Somehow I get the feeling that the dog he favors the most is the Alpha dog...so he is contributing to the territorialism big time, and if a fight ensues it isn't going to be a small one.
@AmbiePam (43131)
• United States
22 May 10
Can a compromise be reached? I am not there, so I can't see his behavior, and I admit I would be upset too. I don't think it is too much to ask him to walk both dogs. Perhaps his favoritism can be overlooked sometimes, but it wouldn't harm him to walk both the sweet little dogs. But yes, it would bother me too.
@Hatley (137840)
• Garden Grove, California
21 May 10
hi dloveli I made it clear before I agreed to marry my hubby he had to love me and my dog and cat, and love children or else. Fortunately he was also a dog and cat lover, and he loved children too. Sorry for your man choosing between the dogs. Maybe you and he will have to sit down and have a heart to heart chat.No I do not think you are wrong as your man knew you had two dogs when he first became your man, right? then he should put up or shut up.
@celticeagle (99208)
• Boise, Idaho
21 May 10
So, are you going to discuss this with him while it is fresh in your mind or let it go?
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
21 May 10
Well they both have to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So yes he should have taken both of them. To bad ya just cant open the door and let them out. We had 3 males and they all went together even in our travels THe 3 had to ride together. Mine seemed to calm the other 2 and then we settled here and as they got older had to seperate them mine (American Spitz) and daughter 2 chowchows As they got where they fought alot. and I had to keep mine with me here in puter room and take out front while the other 2 went out back. GUess just tell him again they both go together
• United States
21 May 10
Ok mommy, all parents have a favorite child and all parents argue over their children. Of course when one child isn't included they are going to run to the other parent and complain about it. We have 2 rabbits. Blackie and Patchie. My husband favors Patchie over blackie even though he says he doesn't, he does! But he does give there nightly treats of greens evenly, I think, he says he does...do you think he might be cheating Blackie out of a carrot? I leave Blackie out of his cage during the day time. He has to go back to his cage when Patchie is out because other wise they fight.
@savypat (20248)
• United States
21 May 10
I don't know the answer here. But if he will disregard your wishes in this matter, can you trust him in the really important ones? I would be looking long and hard at your relationship.
@med889 (5958)
21 May 10
I think your man is trying to create a difference between your dogs and this is not good at all because it means that he is making the dogs also feel which one is superior and beautiful. So far the dogs were together and happy now Machi will be feeling lonely and sad. You should tell your man that this is a big deal for you and you want both dogs to be taken equally.
• India
21 May 10
Heartless though it might sound, but if you’ve choose between a man and dogs, then dogs always have to come out the winner…you know, they’ll be with you thru all and will never change…their love is unconditional. If you’re really fond of this guy and the feeling is mutual, then you really need to tell him the ground rules regarding the dogs and he has to respect your rules if he’s truly fond of you.