can kids help save marriage?

Philippines
May 22, 2010 5:51am CST
my friend and her husband's relationship turned to sour-- he was always with his friends and even started having se.x with other woman, my friend in turn wanted out. but what kept her from doing so is because of the kids. she said that she was being martyr because of the kids. i mean personally, if she's not happy already why stay with him? are the kids enough reason for a wife to stay? what do you think?
11 responses
@vijayanths (7878)
• India
23 May 10
Definitely, In my opinion most of marriages are saved by the children. They are the strong bridges to the couples. The couples should remain united at least for the sake of children.
@maximax8 (28249)
• United Kingdom
23 May 10
People that live in a traditional sort of a country tend to try to stay married no matter what. A lady might ignore what he husband is up to. Then she will try to play at being part of a happy family. The children will be hurt if they find out what is going on. Those that live in a modern minded country will stay married as long as the other partner stays faithful and treats him or her well. I know some married couples have affairs and it is accepted. Your friend doesn't sound happy that her husband is cheating on her. I think divorce has hurt children greatly in the two years after that happens. I know that staying together when a marriage in on rocky ground is challenging. Your friend's children might see the difficulties. I don't think that kids can help to save a marriage in a modern country. However in a traditional country having kids can keep a family together.
@atv818 (1988)
• United Arab Emirates
23 May 10
Well, it really depends on the person involved whether the situation is tolerable or not. If I were in her shoes, even my kids can't help me stay in a dying marriage. I don't think I can stand to see my husband and know that he is seeing other women. Not to mention that he is making love to them. I cannot stomach that fact and will definitely look for the exit sign to save my sanity and the kids from further pain. They will understand. That behavior is not tolerable no matter what the condition is.
@rhinarea (311)
23 May 10
At some point i would say yes. If they want there kids to have a normal life as possible without any stress of separation, i think that the parents will try their best to stay together.
• Philippines
23 May 10
I don't think kids are enough reason to stay in an unhappy marriage.staying in an unhappy marriage can even affect the kids.it is much better if the parents part and go on their separate ways than stay together and argue everyday.seeing parents argue all the time creates a negative view on relationships which can affect children.
@spalladino (17925)
• United States
23 May 10
I think that staying in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the kids does more harm to them than breaking up and finding someone else. What lessons do children learn from parents who do not love and respect each other? How will they know what a loving adult relationship is if they don't have the opportunity to see it at home?
• United States
23 May 10
I don't feel like kids can save a marriage. I've known a lot of people who have been in the same situation as your friend. The husbands were either abusive or had been caught cheating, but the women said they stayed because of the children. I don't think its a good thing, because its like both people are there, but they're miserable. They don't love each other and there's always going to be that tension and in the long run its going to end up hurting the kids a lot worse than them getting a divorce.
• Australia
23 May 10
I think children cant save the marriage of their parents because when they do that, stil they will have problems or misunderstanding because parents dont like to stay together. The best thing is they make a negotiations about how to take good care of their kids while they get into divorce.
• Philippines
23 May 10
I think you're right. She should just pull herself out of the relationship. It won't lead to anything good if she stays.
@Ritchelle (3797)
• Philippines
22 May 10
i believe culture would have a lot of say in this. true, separation would cause any child pain no matter what culture that child has but culture itself can make it faster and easier for any child to cope. if separation of parents is rampant then a child would for sure find someone like him in his shoes. this would make the child feel not all alone in his situation. however, if one's culture is not so keen on separation then a child from a broken home may end up broken forever emotionally, right?
@grayxenon (1307)
• Philippines
22 May 10
traditional/conservative countries will chose martyrdom over there own happiness if they have already kids, as i witness and even know a lot who do such. in some cases kids made the relationship intact, because of their binding effect. some mothers will choose to sacrifice their happiness just to properly secure the future of their kids especially in countries (such mine) where child support law are hardly being followed, if you leave the husband, your financial attachment goes with it. so in conclusion, kids are the strength factor for mothers to stay in a relationship for the sake of their future.