Hurt or nothing.

@saphrina (31740)
South Africa
May 23, 2010 3:13am CST
Hello my sweeties. I need someone to shed some light on this for me, please. Me and my mom had a very interesting discussion yesterday, and for the life of me i cannot answer this myself. Would you rather get hurt by a loved one or rather feel no love at all. We all need to love, be loved and if you get hurt, so what. We have to go through this. My mom believe that when you are in love and loved by someone, you are not suppose to get hurt. Right or wrong? TATA.
10 people like this
36 responses
@umabharti (3976)
• India
23 May 10
hi,Love is always painfull , how can anyone not feel hurt when its realling hurting.Either u take it not serious of that person when u dont feel hurt while leaving him or her.I dont know how ur mom says so.may be she says true love for someone would never ask anything in return.And when nothing is expected then how come u feel hurt.
1 person likes this
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Maybe that is what my mom meant. That is why i asked all of you. The more brains working on this, the easier we get to the real answer. TATA.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84126)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 May 10
'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to love at all. I really do believe that.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 May 10
Dawny, if you believe it, then i'll go fo it. Thanx. TATA.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84126)
• Shingle Springs, California
24 May 10
going...
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 May 10
Going where??
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (57183)
• India
23 May 10
@saphrina- that is a very mature question. I believe getbiswa is the right person who can give you excellent advise on this one. My thoughts - All feelings, love, hate, desire, whatever are transitory. So sit and analyze a way around hurt so that you hurt less, or love less. We are, after all, made chemical bonds, and so are our thoughts. A change of scene always helps because of this. :)
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Vannie, i am impressed by your response, but as meluan has asked, who the hell is getbiswa?
@vandana7 (57183)
• India
23 May 10
getbiswa is a mylotter. He reads plenty of those philosophy books, and is able to express things as they are. He is able to present the points very convincingly. :)
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Vannie, i hope he can answer this. I need to understand this.
• Malaysia
23 May 10
once upon a time, i did have belief in it. it really felt right. there was no way anything could separate us. even if we drifted apart, we always came back together. that last time we were together, it was the most happiest 3 consecutive years of my life... well, suffice to say that her parents married her off to the son of a richer, more influential man. and she's just recently had a son. it hurts. i try to forget, but it hurts terribly to even try.. i'm forcing myself to accept and move on. i think i have moved on. but during those quiet moments of the day, memories come back. and it hurts. i don't know if i'm supposed to get hurt. i don't know if i'll never be hurt again. but i'm sure that i don't want to love someone that much anymore. because it hurts too much..
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Mario, the only way is to just not think abut it. Or try at least, okay. TATA. meluan, we are not using weed today.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
23 May 10
too much love will kill u
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Really?? I don't think i want to love anyone then.
@zed_k4 (17634)
• Singapore
23 May 10
I feel that in order for one to know love, one must at least be hurt once. That's why they say first true love almost won't end up being together forever. That's my personal take on this. Although no one would ever want to be hurt in any way, I believe that it is good to have some form of experience in this area. I'm a no pro, but this is what I think. However, there are some people whom won't want to be hurt at all, so it's each other prerogative. Good topic, Saph. By the way, I'll be catching up on my email follow up soon, that's because my email is currently not working; ugh...hotmail's acting up again.
@vandana7 (57183)
• India
24 May 10
From where do you get such wisdome zed? :)
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 May 10
Hello Zed. But we do not want to get hurt, do we? No choice, i guess. As for the experience, no way i am tryng that one out. Take the hammer to hotmail, okay. Vannie, ZED is the gentleman, he has to have wisdom, REMEMBER.
@vandana7 (57183)
• India
24 May 10
@saphrina, why cant you leave BB for this gentleman then? I desperately want this kid to be family before any stranger pockets him! :)
1 person likes this
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
23 May 10
love and hurt are two sides of coin saph . just like black and white, but sure there is till many color which make the world rich. not only hurt, but u will feel the pain, jealous, happy, silly, miss, betrayal and so on. if u dare to face the love u have to ready to feel all of it too.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
ifa sweetie, do i really have to go through all that?? Can't i just get my way. It sounds so much easier. Thanx. TATA.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
23 May 10
that is life dear, but the more u get some bitter the more u get wiser. life is not always beautiful, sweet and happy. Many people learn from the bitterness then they wake to get more happiness.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Thanx sweetie. That sounds much better.
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
23 May 10
Well all i can see is follow your heart---i think that is most valuable and important thing in our life which wouldnt let you down---no matter how down you're lol even under water.Do not go for the bull blindly---do consider the pros and cons it would help you to lead a good future
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
BB, no matter how hard you try, you will get hurt, following your heart or not. TATA.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
23 May 10
he never listen to his heart saph...believe me
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Sweetie, we just have to accept my BB as he is. Nothing can change him, believe me.
@ronz30 (276)
• Philippines
23 May 10
I think it's not true that when you are in love and loved by someone you will not get hurt because when you really love someone you will do everything for him to become happy despite of consequences ! so when you get used into a relationship you should make your self ready to the consequences it will have. That's love . It's like after the rain there's a rainbow on it!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Sweetie, it's that getting hurt that scares a lot of people so much. I like that rainbow affect of yours. Thanx. TATA.
@ronz30 (276)
• Philippines
23 May 10
Yeah ! super true .. Anyway , can I ask you something ? How to pose a discussion here? I mean On my own ? thanks :)
@ronz30 (276)
• Philippines
23 May 10
Hey ! thanks ..
• India
23 May 10
Hi, I think she is absolutely right. She has a definition of love which is not often understood or implemented by most of us. She is talking about an ideal love, a love beyond all expectations and desire. This has a more philanthropic aspects. Very few people actually admire this concept, as our material love is usually based on desire. But those who can see clearly beyond such trivial forms of love, is a very precious person. Love doesn't let you get hurt. On the contrary true love should make you invincible. Thanks God bless you
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Sweetie, you are a treasure, do you know that? Answered my question and you made me understand it. Thanx. TATA.
@vandana7 (57183)
• India
23 May 10
@saphrina! You've been introduced! I told you, he can tell you convincingly!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Thanx Vanie. I have to admit, he is freaking good.
@andy77e (5170)
• United States
25 May 10
I have yet to meet a married couple that has not hurt each other to some degree. However, I am not one to roll the dice on a spouse. Doesn't seem like a worth while risk to me. On the off chance you might have a good marriage, you risk divorce, infidelity, fights, bitterness, and a living hell on Earth. Doesn't seem like a good trade. Think I'll stay single :)
@vandana7 (57183)
• India
25 May 10
Chicken!!!!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
25 May 10
Sweetie, we need that love to feel it, even once in our lifes. Try it, you never know if you would be the lucky one to stay happy. TATA. Vannie.
@tessah (6638)
• United States
24 May 10
they say tis better to have loved and lost.. blahblah. i agree with you that if a person loves you, they dont hurt you. sometimes feelings get hurt inadvertantly tho, and that just happens. in any relationship, not just romantic. if however there is more pain than love? no.. thats not reasonable... but pain is a part of life.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 May 10
Pain and hurt is part of life sweetie, but we don't like going through it though. Rather be loved unconditionally without the hurt. Thanx. TATA.
@tessah (6638)
• United States
24 May 10
hehe never said yer asposed to like it, and love always comes with conditions.. everything does
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 May 10
I know sweetie. I just don't like getting hurt and i don't like others to get hurt either.
@shibham (17025)
• India
23 May 10
you are 100% right dear friend. i am agree with you and is sure that there are less people who are lucky in their love. most of us get hurt by their loved one as me too. hahaha... yet i want to laugh and live and wish to start a new life again without anyone close to my heart. have a nice day.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Sweetie, we have to love, be loved and as i understand it get hurt in the prosess. Part of life. I am sorry, but you have to let someone into your heart, eventually. TATA.
1 person likes this
@shibham (17025)
• India
23 May 10
not now dear friend. i am quiet happy now. take care.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
Thats allright sweetie. All in the right time. TATA.
1 person likes this
@cip116 (1011)
• Romania
23 May 10
If the person whom you love,hurts you and is a pleasure for him...is a very serious problem "A wound made with a knife can cure but a wound with a word...ever"
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
I agree sweetie, words can leave a bigger scar than any knife can. TATA.
• Philippines
24 May 10
I am 24 years old and I never had a boyfriend so I think I am still pretty idealistic when it comes to love.I think that your Mom is correct on this one.Like why would someone who loves you, hurt you?Coz how can you make a person loved if you keep on hurting that person?That's all I could say.Do not take this seriously though.As what I said, I never had a boyfriend so you probably have more experience than me in this thing called love.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
24 May 10
You;ll get there aweetie. Just be patient. TATA.
@cloud31 (5811)
23 May 10
My angel, I'm afraid your mom don't have much thing to consider as of these days. During their days maybe her thought is just right because man/woman were just as faithful and seems innocent of all these matters in life. In our days though,it seems doesn't work well with that statement. When you are in love and loved by someone, we have to face the facts that pain would be there and you will surely get hurt for many reasons.Love sometimes cause pain and it can't hide the real meaning that love and pain always together. If you felt in love and been loved we need to be ready for pain and hurt cause by our emotions and by our love one,intentional or not still make sense when love is involved. Theres a saying with I can say its quiet real." LOVE is like heaven but it hurts like hell".
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
You know IJ, sometimes i wish we could have lived the lifes our parents had. Yes they had there ups and downs, but it wasn't so hard as it is in todays life. TATA.
@cloud31 (5811)
23 May 10
Since being in love and being loved is a part of life,better not to expect more than they can give you in return.Love unconditionally and accept what love brought for its really mean for us to feel the pain no matter how we avoid to get hurt.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
23 May 10
It is that unconditinal love that most of us really fear.
@soulist (2987)
• United States
29 Nov 11
I think i would rather get hurt by someone I loved rather than love at all. Having love is a special feeling and yea sometimes it hurts but in the end it is better to love. There are times when my boyfriend inadvertently hurts me and vise versa, we say something or does something that accidently hurt each other, but we both also know we would never do it on purpose and almsot immediately apologize.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
30 Nov 11
Hi sweetie. Somehow i feel the same way. I can love unconditionally, but always seem to get hurt. But loving someone is a great feeling though. Words that have hurt sometimes lingers, as we cannot forget them even if we aplogised for them.
@bnsp09 (258)
• United States
28 Nov 11
I feel that no matter how hard you try everyone hurts someone sometimes. There's intentional and unintentional hurt. I know there's been times when I've said something and didn't think about it enough and I ended up hurting the one that I love. I didn't meant to hurt him and when I realized I did I felt terrible but then there's other times when you are angry with someone and you go out of your way to hurt them and make them feel the way that they made you feel. or for someone to feel the pain that you feel. It's not right but I feel like it's a part of life!
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
30 Nov 11
Hi sweetie. I sometimes don't think before i say things. Normally that which pop into my mind i will voice, hurting people close to me. If one is use to get hurt, its like its rubbing of on us, then we start hurting others intentionally. Maybe one day we will know the difference, not to do that anymore. Anger, can make one say the most hurtful things, the bad part of it, people don't forget those words.
• Philippines
16 Jun 10
oh I do not believe when you feel love, you will never feel pain. When you are hurt by love it only means you grow in love. Love is not always to feel happiness, it has to be equal. In that way you evolve you can be weak or you can be strong. The faith in love is this, the person that you love is the one that will hurt you too. life without being hurt is lifeless, being hurt taught you to decide what mistake you made and you will never do it again. There are no people who do not feel pain.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
16 Jun 10
I know the thing that can hurt you most in life, is love, sweetie. We just have to get up and do it all over again. How else will we ever learn. Thanx. TATA.
• China
9 Jun 10
I have always insisted an opinion is that life without love is incomplete,or in other words is that life had not experienced love is incomplete.We cannot foresee whether the love we own will hurt us or not,but it is commonly that life full of happy and sad.We need love,whether we had experienced hurt or not.we can't lose the faith to love.If unfortunately we get hurt from our choice,it's OK, because we didn't lose love,we just lose a person who didn't know how to cherish the pure love.We still have the confidence to find the real destined love of us.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
9 Jun 10
Nice sweetie. I would rather love and get hurt than not experiencing that feeling at all. We all do need love in our loves. It isn't a choice, it happens. TATA.
• Malaysia
25 May 10
Love is sweet and tenderness. People in love is like in wonderland. Everything in life is wonderful. But don't get so excited about that. All is not stay forever. We just only a human being. Sooner we will face in something we can't do anything except getting hurt. The hurt may be is the best solution for that relationship to let to be.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
25 May 10
Thanx. But we need to at least try not to get hurt to bad in the proses. TATA.
@hanna811 (132)
• China
25 May 10
If let me do o a choice then i will choose neither ,i will choose to be loved and not be hurt because i was hurt once time and i dont want to suffer again ,it was really bad feeling of life .and when you are in love ,you feel happey after sadness even he made u sad and also because he make u happy too.
@saphrina (31740)
• South Africa
25 May 10
Thats just the thing sweetie, if we love, we get hurt. No way around it. Thanx. TATA.