I admit it, I'm PI$$ED beyond belief! This is a rant alert. It is a long post
By Loverbear
@Loverbear (4918)
United States
May 25, 2010 2:41am CST
I just got my grades for the past semester. I could chew nails and spit red hot rivets!!! I had to take an incomplete in one class and I totally failed the other. What kills me about the class that I got the "F" in was that I was earning an "A" in the class until I missed the final project due to doing a "term paper" (You'll read about it later in the rant" It wasn't from my not studying, it was from the friggin idiots in my life.
I lost weeks over preparing for the small claims suit that the insane neighbors brought against me. It was so totally uncalled for, but at least I have the satisfaction of beating them out of $500. When they started the uproar about the sewing machine I offered to pay them back the money they claimed they paid for the machine...they refused stating that the machine was worth thousands and thousands of dollars. Sorry, but a used sewing machine (unless it is an industrial machine that is very specialized)isn't worth thousands and thousands of dollars. The woman claimed that the machine was my deceased mother's Bernina. (Which was a 930 for those who care)But the woman couldn't tell anyone the model number or what the machine looked like. Can you spell FRAUD?
Then I had a sniveling friend of my sister who was whining and blubbering that she needed help on a report. It wasn't that she wanted help, it was that she wanted me to do the report for her. My email and phone was kept busy by this woman. I wasted a ton of time dealing with her and telling her that she needed to do the report and that I couldn't do it for her. I finally quit taking her calls.
Then my sister volunteered to help a guy with his term paper. She has the hots big time for the guy so she was hoping to get more of "you know what" from him. She doesn't know how to do term papers...yet she volunteered. Then called me to help her do the paper. I told her that I had a heavy load and couldn't do the term paper but could guide her through the process. Yeah, right!!! Guess who wrote the paper. You got it, me!!! I laid out the outline for the paper, provided my sister with the information on doing footnotes and bibliographies and the few days before the paper was due I ended up at her house doing the friggin paper. I got out of class that night at 9 p.m. and finally got home around 4 a.m. after doing the whole paper. The guy has never said thank you to me for all the work. I am about ready to throttle both of them. I'm sorry, but just because you are hot for the guy doesn't mean that you should do all his term paper for him...then flake and dump the project on your sister.
I laid down the law to her that I am no longer going to "help" these people. They need to do it the way I did and either ask the teacher for help or teach themselves how to do the work. It will be my great pleasure to tell her NO next semester.
I will say that there is one benefit from being so pi$$ed. I have done a ton of house cleaning and sorting out the stuff that I want to get rid of. But it hasn't settled me down yet...that's going to take awhile.
2 people like this
5 responses
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
25 May 10
I don't blame u forbeing ticked & i bet alot of your anger is toward yourself for letting your sister & others take advantage of u. I don't think i'd do that again. Just concentrate on your grades & looking after yourself & let them look after themselves.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
25 May 10
You've hit the nail right on the head, I am angry at myself. No one likes being used and that is what has been happening all along. Right down to my driving them to Salinas for the husband to get finger printed and his picture taken for his green card. That was a horrible trip for me...by the time we got back home I couldn't walk and it took two days before I could walk comfortably. It wouldn't have been so bad but then my sister played me so that I stayed in town just to drive her home from her final class. (Can you spell "Dumb Loverbear? 
)
Things are changing. I have been working off my anger by cleaning and sorting stuff out to get rid of at an up coming sale. During this time I have done a lot of thinking and it is time for my sister to stand on her own two feet and stop being a "teenager" and act her age...which is 50. I raised my daughter, I'm not about to raise a 50 year old teenager with overactive glands.
)
Things are changing. I have been working off my anger by cleaning and sorting stuff out to get rid of at an up coming sale. During this time I have done a lot of thinking and it is time for my sister to stand on her own two feet and stop being a "teenager" and act her age...which is 50. I raised my daughter, I'm not about to raise a 50 year old teenager with overactive glands.1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
25 May 10
I hate to be mad at myself & have been many times so i do know how u feel. I'm sorry your sister has taken advantage of u & she should be ashamed of herself for using u like she did. I don't blame u for the way u feel at all. Nothing like a middle age teenager. I have known a few of them myself. U take care & get yourself back in line to make good grades & think of yourself now.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
25 May 10
Oh no loverbear, I am so sorry, how disappointing to see that you failed a class you were doing well in because you were helping others..
Don't take this wrong, but I have learned that to help others, you must take care of yourself first. I know this sounds selfish, but how can one expect to help others when they have enough on their plate? And I learned this by watching my husband, who is more than willing to help others before helping his own family..
You have a good heart loverbear, like my husband, for others. But you need to put yourself first in things that are important, like your own school work that needs to be done..
So are you going to be able to take the courses again?
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
25 May 10
You are so right, to help others I do need to help myself. Plus there are times that to help others you need to let them figure things out for themselves. I have had to figure things out for myself, and managed to do it quite well. I have spent years teaching myself things, including knitting, sewing, making teddy bears, computing, plumbing, carpentry, automotive work and more. If I can do it, so can these people. Plus I shouldn't be the person to do the work for a person who volunteers to help a guy because SHE has the hots for him.
You are right about putting myself first. In the back of my mind the results of the MRI are fluttering around and raising questions, like how long will I still be able to walk. So, I need to do the things that I have planned while I still have mobility.
Oh, to add the the anger at myself, I also chauffeured them from Paso Robles to Salinas so that my sister's husband could get finger printed and photographed for his green card. It wasn't a good trip. That isn't going to happen again either. They should have rescheduled the appointment, but they knew that I would be stupid enough to drive them there and back.
I have decided that things definitely are going to change, and [i[]NO[i] is going to be a huge part of my vocabulary.
Love and hugs to you carmel!
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
25 May 10
You are not stupid loverbear, you just have a god heart and people with good hearts can be taken advantage of... But you can also learn to say no, and don't fret if at first you get some angry responses, it is sure to happen. But once your friends and family see that you are standing firm, they should start to respect you for not backing down..I am praying for you, it might be a rough ride, but one you need to take..:)
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
25 May 10
HEY LB! Im sorry about your grades. If you read your own rant its clear what the problem is my love. You are too helpful. Yes too helpful? THere is such a thing. Believe me I know. You think you are supposed to help people. That's what a good person does. If I may, let me take you back to the small claims suit. Here are these people you have been nothing but nice to. Now they are older, and bored so they decide you dissed them. Nevermind the nice things you've done. Including selling them such a great sewing machine for almost cost. Now you have helped everyone in need except you. Let me ask you this. If the tables were turned would these people help you? Really think about it. Im not saying anything bad but I bet they would have said that they had to do their own. Maybe if they had extra time but you're not going to get the same full attention treatment you've given other. Life lesson learned my dear. You have to be as good of a friend to yourself as you are to others. From what Ive read they are very lucky to have someone like you. Happy MyLotting.
PS sometimes they allow you to do an excercise to bring up your grades. Maybe you could do something like that.just a thought. dl
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
25 May 10
Are you sure you're not my sister? You read me like a book. I have always led my life helping others. Often times it is to the detriment to my own health and finances. I did at least learn something this semester at college. DON'T HELP!!! Yes, I will help to a point, but not to the extent that I did before. As I just told Bill, my focus is going to be on two people now...him and me.
I highly doubt that if the tables were turned I would get the kind of help I give. I have my sister's dog and have been paying for the dogs food for the past two years. I will admit that out of the two years my sister has bought three bags of dog food. (I go through a 40 pound bag every 6 weeks) I took the dog because she isn't in condition to take the dog for walks. Her husband started staying out all night and leaving the dog without being able to relieve itself for 12 to 14 hours at a time. So, I am "boarding" a 70 pound pit/lab mix. I've gotten to the point that I consider the dog mine, and my sister is going to be hard pressed to get the dog back. Abby, the dog, has proven to be a great protector so she is worth her weight in dog food.
I emailed the instructor and I can retake the class and do it at an accelerated rate. Which will be easy for me because I still have the files from the class. The final assignment was worth 340 points, which was over 60% of the grade. The grades had to be turned in Monday, so there was no way for me to bring up my grade. Part of the problem with the final assignment was that I needed a trial program that needed to be down loaded. My sister is sharing my dial up internet and she would spend hours on the computer playing Mah Jongg. Come August I switch to satellite internet and she will have to pay for her own internet rather than "share" mine which amounts to my paying the bill and her using the internet without helping out with the costs.
The help I give is going to be limited. If the people are having problems in school, they need to go to the instructor. And if my sister wants to keep the guy she has the "hots" for, she is going to have to do the work by herself. I come first, Bill comes in very close to first and the rest can take care of themselves.
Thank you dl, you always have been such a great help! I really appreciate your input.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
26 May 10
I really wish you were my long lost sister. I hate mine. They are very selfish, snobish,and terribly twofaced. I just wish I had a sister that just wanted to be friends and help each other. Im so sorry you have to go thru these difficult situations. What really gets me is that no one sees their part in your failure from school. NO one is going to come at you and say SOrry if I had any part in you not doing as well as you shouldve. What I hate is that they dont apologize and then they go around telling everyone how disappointed they are in you because you didnt do your best. They Talk trash. I HATE THAT! YOu know what chalk this up to a learning experience. Maybe I can help if you ever need it. Just email me and I will get back to you asap. Promise. Keep your head up. You'll do better next semester. dl
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
25 May 10
ha ha ha I can imagine how you are fuming at being made a sucker. It is strange what love makes people do. Just because your sister had the hots on this guy, she used you to get what she wanted. By the way, did she get what she wanted. i am sure he was using her too. If it is love, you will get waht you want without giving anything in return. if you have to give something to get love, it is not love and can never be. He would certainly be taking your sister for a ride so better warn her to beware of such sponges.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
25 May 10
I guess I'll have to pay extra to the plastic surgeon to also remove the "sucker" along with "stupid" off my forehead. It isn't going to happen again!
She did get what she wanted, but she wants MORE! I can't get it through her thick head that she needs to get past the "teen age" crap and start thinking like an adult! To add fuel to this fire, she is married. She and her husband have been having serious problems so she goes out and has an affair with this guy. The guy she has the hots for isn't someone she wants on a long term basis, just someone she can go to bed with.
She has been using me a lot lately, and I don't appreciate it in the least. Plus I really don't care to hear about all the guys she has the hots for etc. I'm too busy trying to get my business back up and running, and getting the house situated the way I want it and do the repairs I need to do to it. That's the biggest reason for my not answering the phone during this summer, I'm just too busy to put up with her teen aged antics. (She's 50 years old!)
You're right about my fuming, if I were a volcano I would be still spewing lava!
@Jaluke (676)
• United States
25 May 10
It sounds like you've had quite the rough time and I'm really sorry to hear that. First and foremost, you should never put the success of others before your own success when it comes to something as important as grades and your own school work. You probably should have made sure everything you needed to do (like your final project) was completed before taking on any other projects. If the other people ended up being screwed over because they were lazy, that's their own fault, not yours. I don't understand why you did the papers honestly and let yourself get screwed over. It doesn't make any sense to me I'm sorry to say.
I think all that you can do now is just try to move on. What's done is done and you aren't going to be able to change that no matter how much you may want to. What you need to do now is just focus on the future and focus on succeeding in the future. And for now, while you're fuming mad, try to go out and do something for your self or just do anything that helps you relax. It's not going to help you at all to stay bent out of shape with everything. I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough time and I hope that everything gets better for you soon. Once you find peace of mind, and you will, you'll be able to just take a deep breath in and you'll be a much stronger person having had to endure everything that you have.
@Loverbear (4918)
• United States
25 May 10
Thank you so much. I wanted to get stuff sorted out of the house and ready for an up coming sale. Doing the sort is helping me vent the anger. I've had to put it off for over two years because of medical problems, so it is doing me a world of good to do the physical work and work off the anger.
I also informed my sister that I wasn't going to take a lot of calls during my summer break. (I think she knows by now that I am madder than a wet hen) She has the habit during breaks from college to call me and spend three hours talking to me about absolutely NOTHING!! Right now it's calls about the guys she has the hots for, which is of no interest to me as she has a habit of picking losers for boyfriends or husbands. But as I told her I have a ton of things planned to accomplish during the next 2 1/2 months and having three hour talks with her aren't in the plans.
You are very right about my becoming a stronger person for all the tests placed before me. I was surprised how well I testified in court. I was calm, collected and the remarks made by the woman neighbor didn't bother me in the least. I left court feeling stronger than I have felt in a long time. In fact I am doing much better in saying "NO" and not taking any guff off of anyone.
I really appreciate your post...It has eased some of the anger, and made me smile. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom and the smack up aside the head about doing the stuff for these people when I really shouldn't have done it. 
