Are we seeing each other too much?

United States
May 26, 2010 10:28am CST
So about 3 weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years and I broke up. And actually I feel a lot better about it. The first couple of weeks were very difficult but once I got passed the worst I felt like I reached clarity for the first time. I was able to realize that I hadn't been happy with my boyfriend.. well.. consistantly... We quite literally I think became more attached to our company then each other. In fact, the last year and a half I sucked my energy away on worrying about how I feel for him... all the time. Which, in the end shows me I wasn't as in love or happy as I was making myself believe. When we broke up I was actually afraid that I would eventually realize I didn't need him or want him. Anyways... I met this guy and he was a good friend during the first couple weeks. And this last weekend he and I started 'dating/seeing each other'. So we were more then friends starting saturday.. and then we saw each other monday night and last night and then he invited me to watch a movie with him today. I really really like him.. but my Mom is afraid we are seeing one another too much. Does it sound like I am? I am not looking for anything serious and I am not ready to be in anything super committed and he knows that. But yeah.. what are your thoughts?
2 people like this
12 responses
@qamarep (4453)
• Pakistan
26 May 10
theres no such thing as too much seeing we should know that we are seeing others too every day a man sees many beautiful women dont you think he will have feelings for them too. we are not clean dear
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 May 10
phoenix, take this advice. This is probably the most honest waking punch you can get.
@crackx (628)
• Belgium
26 May 10
We all know love is biggest in the first months, love is still there, you get more attached, but after time you don't really have the butterfly-feeling, but just still very good with the other person. So I think in these months it's normal to see each other months, it would be a somewhat a waste if you wouldn't. If you aren't looking for a relationship that would last forever, I don't think you could do anything wrong with seeing him a lot of times.
@crackx (628)
• Belgium
26 May 10
it's normal to see each other much** my bad
• United States
27 May 10
I just wanted to say that if you are not looking for a relationship that lasts forever you shouldn't be looking...that's the whole point of dating and seeing somebody, to figure out what you want and who can give it to you.
@Rysonia (310)
• United States
27 May 10
As long as you are both being completely honest with each other it shouldn't be to much of a problem. It is really early on in ya'll dating to claim you are seeing each other to much, if it continues to be an every day date night then you will want to put the brakes on and just try and schedule a couple times a week getting together.
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
27 May 10
The relationship you had for about 4 years is really a waste because some relationship don't even last that long. I don't understand why your long time relationship did not go far beyond like in to marriage. Maybe love is slowly dying the fire start to fades. But it could have been good anyways since both of you wanted out from that old relationship...so everything ended well for both of you. About this new guy in your life your mother do had a point. You're seeing each other too much. Which you are just fresh from an old relationship. Maybe you just have to give your self some free time and enjoy being single.
@Boyetski (989)
• Philippines
27 May 10
I think your mom cannot be a part of the process of you guys knowing each other. Anyhow, you mom maybe want's or shall we say more at ease with your ex as suppose to they new guy.
• United States
27 May 10
well, be careful when you are on the rebound, it's easy to feel things, when you are replacing something else. don't jump in too fast, but i think the Lord uses these times when we are vulnerable to teach us things. just search your soul and be honest with this new guy. just tell him you don''t want to get into anything too fast for his own sake, because you don't want to end up hurting him.
@eileenleyva (9375)
• Philippines
27 May 10
phoenix, mothers are always right. You are moving on with relationships a little bit much too soon. Give your heart and mind a break. You would never know how you actually feel if all at once, you are busy with someone else again. Before you know it, you will think you are in love with this new guy. Then you will find yourself trapped in the idea of being in love when actually you are not. Don't make a mistake twice too many. You won't like yourself at the end and it will be difficult to bounce back. Sip your mom's chicken soup for a broken heart. Later, love will come again, refreshed and ever lasting.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
27 May 10
You have to go with your heart on things like this. Do YOU feel like you are seeing too much of each other? For me, it would be a rebound and focusing on someone else can get our mind off the break-up. The best thing I ever did for myself was to take a long break from dating and focus on other things in my life that were important to me. What was right for me though may not be at all for you.
@jesssp (2743)
• Canada
26 May 10
I think that since you so recently broke up with a very long term boyfriend it is a little soon to jump right into another relationship. And even though you said you aren't looking for a commitment or anything serious that's pretty much impossible when you're seeing each other almost every day. I think it would be best to dial it down if you want to date each other or call off the dating and go back to being friends. If you really like him romantically then keep seeing each other but stick to just a few times a week. Spend more time with your girlfriends and by yourself, you probably need to reconnect with both after being so wrapped up in someone else for so long. Don't let your whole life revolve around a guy!
@1anurag1 (3581)
• India
26 May 10
i think you are now mentally prepare to breakup and there is no mean to continue with any relation which has become a burden. I think once you could talk to that guy to end your relation formally. This practice can make you feel free and you could do any think with out thought.
• United States
26 May 10
From what you have stated here I would say slow things down a little. You may not be looking for something super committed but he may be. And in the end this could be a bigger problem for you. The fact is that you are leaving a long term relationship and if you think this is someone you would like to get to know better than you don't want to see him everyday and make him your rebound guy. Give yourself some space to discover who you have really become over the past 4 years.
• Philippines
26 May 10
I don't think so. Maybe your mom is just exaggerating or maybe because your mom sees you with him too often.