What about the loners? How would you help them?
May 26, 2010 11:11am CST
Dear buddies... I have seen a few people within last few years, who never get into any relationship. Not that they don't want to! They just fail to build up a relation. Most of them are innocent ones and generally they are highly talented people with lack of social skills. They don't know how to build up a relationship. They feel lonely, deserted and there is a perpetual unhappiness attached to their lives... Have you known any person like that??? Personally, I always try to help them and a few times, have been quite successful. Would you help such a person to get out of their loneliness??? I help them by talking to them, understanding them and then gently pointing out their errors. I strive to make them a little social. It has been quite helpful in the past... How would you help? Please share... I know a person who needs help and I need help with some new ideas...
26 May 10
well i am a loner at heart and it is difficult. But i don't have problems of building relationships but somehow i got tired of socializing dunno if its because of getting older or priorities changed. well a reason to socialize is one thing. This can always help.
28 May 10
Hiiii Thanks for sharing... :) From your post, you don't sound like a 'typical loner'... Trust me, that is how I feel about you. And if you are able to build relationship, it means you can talk to people and have a good conversation... A Loner always find it hard to talk to someone for a long time... Maybe, you choose to not to mix up with people- I wouldn't call it 'unable to socialize'. You simply choose to stay away and there is nothing wrong with it... You have your own reasons to stay away from the crowd. You certainly don't sound like a loner, my friend... :) Have a great time!
So do i, im a loner who dont have social skill problem. Im just too lazy and tired to hang around people im not too fond of. I have a few person whom close enough to be called as friends, one's a surgeon, the other's a programmer, both are loners like me, we respect each others privacy. Sometimes we meet at coffee shop to play cards, and i guess thats it. lol. We dont always talk and meet everyday, but we help each other when needed.
28 May 10
Hi Quita... Great to read from you... Hope your health is fine now... :) I am simply trying to help others who are in need.. I know, I have been through tough times through different stages of my life.. My experience so far, has taught a good deal to me and I use my knowledge to help others... I am sure you have been helpful to others throughout your life. You have helped me a great deal through stressful times Quita... I have already got a few new ideas and along with my knowledge, I think I'll be able to help this guy... He likes a girl, but had not been able to talk to her for more than 2 minutes... I can tell that that girl likes him too, but she wants him to take the first step... I'll do my best!!! Have a great week end!
• United States
29 May 10
Oh I am fine ! Getting ready for a day at my old high school for an alumni reunion. I haven't seen any classmates for about 20 yrs. I talk to one every day as I met him on facebook a few months ago. I am anxious about going but it will be ok once I get there ! I too try to help others. I usually do ok and feel good about myself ! anyway, just have a few minutes and am catching up before I shower ! quita
• United Arab Emirates
27 May 10
Hi there! I just want to make some points which I believe will have to be taken into consideration regarding this topic, first, loners are not necessary lonely and unhappy people, and second, some if not most of them are alone because it is by choice they wanted to be left alone. And as you said, most are talented individual, these talented individuals you are referring about maybe are the creative people, those who are more interested to create works of art, and if these are the people you are referring about then these people are really loners by their own prerogative because they wanted to capture their own different moods so they prefer not to be bothered and they are happy to be left alone. So, what I wanted to say is that, not all loners need help on the basis of socialization because they can be sociable when and if they wanted to. There may only be a few who really needed to be guided on social skills but we can only help them if they will help themselves too, because, how will we know if they needed some help if they are just sitting in one corner of their own world?
28 May 10
Hi Edorms.. Thanks for contributing some valuable information here... Thanks also for elaborating a lot more than my feeble knowledge, upon loners.. I have been a loner at some point in my life.. And have come through tough and hard times since then.. Now, I always try to help, if someone is in need... I wouldn't be thrusting my advice upon those who don't need it... That'll damage my own social skills.. LOL... Well, it is a friend (or rather acquaintance) of mine, who loves a girl and I know with his present way of talking to her, he doesn't have a lot of chances. So I think, I should help him with it... Any suggestions? Please!
26 May 10
people like that are hard to change, being unsocial is in there nature the only thing i can think of is make them feel better about themselves and make effort to have fun with them so they have more self confidence in themselves to talk to new people and make it happen... if this does not work get them drunk aurely that will get them talking?
Im a loner myself and believe me no other people can understand a loner except loners themselves. If you want to help your friend, take him to a place, venue, or community where he can meet and talk with other loners, cos *im sorry to tell you* theres no way you can help someone who you dont understand. Infact that could be annoying for the loner.