is a marriege really amarriege if one is always home and the otherb isint?

United States
May 27, 2010 5:09pm CST
i have been forced to work from home and take care of our three boys sense my husband or his family will not help with them. i am caring for them about 96% of the time and he is with them about 4% of the other time.i have talked to them about this and they walk away from from me. this has gone on for the last 8 years and i am feeling like i can not do this any more i am ready to pack up my boys and move to a diffrent home so that i can have a life outside of this.do you think this would be the best thing to do?or how would you handle some thing like this?
5 responses
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
27 May 10
Hi deedeehall, just a question, why doesn't he spend that much time with you and your boys? Is it because he works?
• United States
27 May 10
he does work but so do i only i have to work with my kids here with me.even when he is not working he is not here i am not sure what is going on.
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
27 May 10
My husband works 12 hours a day. But it doesn't really bother me, cause when he comes home he spends his time with me and my baby..like his the one taking care of our baby. Does your husband ignore your kids when his at home?
• United States
27 May 10
alot of times yes or he just can not tolarate them long. he has also taken on raisin cattle on the side so he uses that on the side to get out of tiome with us.
@kedralynn (992)
• United States
27 May 10
I like to think of marriage as a partnership, a team if you will. Both parties should be doing their part to make things work and to take care of the kids. But first I want to ask, why is your husband never around? Does he work a lot? Or is he out having fun? And what does his family do? If he's working a lot, you need to understand that he's probably working to support you and the kids and that requires a lot of time and effort. If he's not working all that time, then he's just not pulling his weight and not helping enough. I can't really say if you should stay or go without knowing more about the situation. What is your relationship with your husband like?
• United States
28 May 10
he does work a ten hour a day job but then he went out and bought cattle that he takes care of after work and on the weekends he will take the boys one day and then they all come back crying and arguing with one another . this has been going on for so long i am just not happy any more i cant do this alone any more.my kids found play boy magazines in the barn that he had and this broke my heart i send them to a christian school it just seems that we are working against one another.
• United States
28 May 10
If even the kids aren't happy then maybe it would be best to cut it off and leave. The kids needs to be raised in a happy and safe environment. And if he isn't helping much with them anyway... then you already know you can do all the work yourself. You just might need a little financial help. You gotta think about what's best for everyone, especially those kids.
• Philippines
28 May 10
You're saying you work and take care of the kids at the same time? And your husband doesn't even go home after his work? I'd say this marriage is a waste. Get out of it while you still can. It's not going to work.
• United States
28 May 10
i think you are right i dont even know if they would no the diffrence other then being in a diffrent house.
@lelin1123 (15643)
• Puerto Rico
28 May 10
Something doesn't sound right to me. You both work but you work from home so you have the boys 96% of the time. Ok where does your husband work and why isn't he there with you once he leaves work for the day. Is he working in another state or country? I don't understand this. If you have been doing this for 8 years I would put my foot down and tell him either its 50/50 or the kids and I are gone.
• United States
28 May 10
he works in the same town. this is just what he has been doing for the lsat 8 years and yes i am tired.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
28 May 10
Marriage isnt just about that. Marriage needs a lot of working out. There are so many adjustments that you would have to make when you are married. Things to expect and things not to expect. It just depend on the couple on how they are going to work out for it.
• United States
28 May 10
are you married? and tes i understand and it has alot to do with who you are married to .alot of people look at my husband and say wow hev is really cute and all i can think is well you do not know him.