how do you keep yourself calm when you can't take it anymore?

Philippines
May 28, 2010 7:37pm CST
Did it ever happen in your life that you really hate a person so much and unfortunately you have to deal with them everyday and smile to them and try your best not to be noticed that you hate them.. I really hate this person a lot.. and we live in a same house right now.. but I have to deal with her for peace' sake.... Any advise? She really gets into my nerves.
1 person likes this
12 responses
@iamster (123)
• Philippines
31 May 10
Just be civil :) If you see her act as if she is a stranger to you. And don't get affected by her. Keep yourself busy whenever you are both in the house.
1 person likes this
• India
29 May 10
see you should aso understand that since you are living in same house , you should make yourself feel that i am not hating her but i am loving her. our heart will show some pleasure when you think i am not hating them. i agree you couldnt love a person whom you dont like but atleast the hate doesnt reach a level where you loose the peace for which , you internally think yourself that you are not disliking the person
• Philippines
29 May 10
I hope I can do that. U hope I can just fool myself and say I like when she's obviously unlikable. She is actually a young kid, adopted and mean... The reason why I hate her is that she is treated very special like a fragile whatever. I am not like this to kids really but the thought of her being so bad and mean... well she is not really bad but she is so sensitive and spoiled, and she treated differently from anyone else.. Like yesterday she got so pissed while playing with her cousins, she threw the glass shes holding and it broke into pieces, and then she cried... She was immediately reprimanded by her older brother and she was so dramatic she didnt stop crying. She went into her room while her cousins cleaned the place for her... that started their whole family panic like there was some kind of emergency. They interchangeably started kissing her and oowing her like they have done a big mistake making her feel upset. They were calling her mother on the phone to have her to talk to her and another" begging their adopted child not to be upset anymore because she was scolded because she broke the glass intentionally when she got pissed off." Uggh!!!! That is so not normal right? When they see other children do that, they are like the first people to react.They always say I don't like that girls attitude but they can't see how their spoiling that KID.... There is nothing bad with adopted children the prob is you have to treat them like just a normal biological child. This is only one of those incidence that she is really treated abnormally. And because of that I really hate her but I have to deal with her because she is my husband's adopted sister...
• India
1 Jun 10
YES TRUE ITS VERY DIFFICULT WITH CHILDRESN THAN WITH ADULTS, i was having a problem in surrounding of our house whenever they come i just smile and go if they talk i just shake my head rather than thinking abut them
1 person likes this
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
29 Aug 10
Best way to walk out calm, rather than showing out the anger. Its hard but i would say dont expect more from others..even if they cannot meet any small expectations, just forgive and forget their acts.
• Philippines
30 Aug 10
yes Id have to agree with you. It's hard but If you just calm down and wait for the right time before doing anything that would make everything worst. I'd proven the effectiveness of that just recently when I had a fight with my brother in the text.
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
Why not try to talk to her or them, discuss the things that make you hate her or them they might change or adjust all the way you don't like to them. But you must adjust your self also, and try to be humble, remember that we are all imperfect, we are subject to got mistake.
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
yes I am actually doing that also...But there are just times that you can't take it anymore.. I am the type of person that as long as you are good to me I will also pay it back.. But if you attack me for some reason Im not aware of. I prefer them telling it to my face than backfight me. That is just so cowardly. If we talk about it, then we can fix everything right away, or even though not right away at least both parties can speak up and defend themselves. Not, accuse of something that your not and spread it to everyone else that will give you a bad reputation and seems like the other person is enjoying it.
@kourdapya (926)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
I understand that we cannot really force ourselves to like a person we hate. I mean, I experience that. that there's this certain person whom, no matter how hard I tried to like her, I just cant. I think in your case, you just have to continue to pretend to be nice to her even though you don't really like her, that's just being civil and also that shows respect to a person even though you hate her, which is a good attitude.
• Philippines
24 Jun 10
thank you
@qamarep (4450)
• Pakistan
31 May 10
i was very upset when i was in this kin dof situation and i justpassed that time for very difficulty
• Philippines
31 May 10
What did you do.. How were you able to manage it.?
@tuyakiki (3026)
• India
30 May 10
In case of the family matters,I try to solve it through discussions.I try to remain as calm as possible if I am talking to elders.. That's because I believe in home sweet home.When dealing with others,if I can't tolerate it anymore, its impossible to keep myself calm. Then certainly I prefer reacting,if the mistake was not mine.Surely I will face the problem with calm stage,but it depends on the situation. Anger causes a lots of problem, so it is safe to handle the situation softly,if it is in workplace..
• Philippines
31 May 10
Its hard to be calm, especially when you are so internalized about the situation. I think I just have to divert myself to other things. There's a lot of things that is so hard to confront. Especially when you know its not going to do anything and will just make everything worst.
• Philippines
29 May 10
Let that emotions out before it will consume you.. If you can't take it anymore, release that anger in a way that you cannot hurt anybody.. Probably go somewhere that you are alone and shout.. And in case in wouldn't help, you can deliver your fist right to that person's nose..
• Philippines
29 May 10
Yah I know, it really is.. I am actually planning on going somewhere where I can be alone and by myself only. I am gradually becoming somebody I dont know anymore. Thanks for that.
30 Aug 10
There are two ways for me to calm myself 1 tell him / her what he is doing is annoying me 2 breathe
@thanks1961 (7049)
• India
30 May 10
Now-a-days it is now eveyones issue. This sort of sutations are may and increasing. An approach of mutual understanding can sort it out to an extend. Attitude is the issue. You need to confront with the other party. For any it is difficult. Try to compramise otherwise you many face more problems with this issue. Regards, Meera
@archon309 (404)
• Philippines
29 May 10
Does this person knows you hate her and why? If not, and you keep that feeling to your self, my concern is, it might soon affect your health. Think first, what did she do to you why you hated her so much? If she did something that offended you, did she know it? For the meantime, is there a way for you to let that hatred out even just a bit? Because if not, you'll be like a pressure cooker that don't let the steam out, and you know what will happen to a pressure cooker if you will not let out the steam.
@p3ks626 (6550)
• Philippines
29 May 10
If I cant take it anymore, its impossible to keep myself calm. I think I could never be calm when things go crazy. Just like my situation in my company, I cant take the management anymore so I decided to quit. I just think that there's no reason for me to deal with things if I cant take them anymore because I will not be able to think rational if I am already fed up. lol