To be too nice is bad in a relationship?

United States
June 3, 2010 4:37am CST
In a discussion with a couple of female friends, I saw a common trait. Majority of girls, they are easily fallen for the "bad boy" type of guys. Which "dangerous" might spice up the life a little. In contrast, a "nice" type of guy isn't bad, but too nice may not be what they exactly looking for. Some even comment "nice" can be boring; which I think that can be a true statement. So, after this discussion, the end result I am getting is in a relationship, trying to be too nice is bad? What is your opinion on this one?
4 people like this
25 responses
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
You're right. Too nice is not good. I'm gonna quit feeding her grapes from now on.
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
Not really. I have too many shoes already.
• United States
3 Jun 10
Your answer is really contradictory, and what exactly are you nice about to your girlfriend?
@nangisha (3504)
• Indonesia
4 Jun 10
Hi Kingparker!. I thing not all girl interested to bad boy. I thing most woman will love smart man with great sense of humor and ability to hear to his woman. I think with that kind of man woman, can stand in relationship without feeling bored or neglected. Bad boy will looks really fun for few moment but woman are change by their age when they wanna settle they will want real man by their side not bad boy.
• United States
4 Jun 10
You are right, humor is the killer point here. I also found most girls fall for great sense of humor, which spice up their boring lives.
@34momma (13896)
• United States
4 Jun 10
i don't think we want bad boys. i just thinkg women want interesting men. men who like to take chances, who are daring and go for what they want. we know how to speak up for themselves. I don't know anyone who wants to be treated badly. and if they do they needs some serious help. Bad boys are the kind of guys that all women want. that doesn't mean bad boys are not good guys, that just means they are the kinds of guys that get what they want.
• United States
4 Jun 10
"Bad boys" image kind of the guy rebel against the general rules, and they can bring in "fire", which makes most girls heart pound. Genuinely, that is what our culture mold these people, from movies or romantic novels.
• Mexico
3 Jun 10
Hi king parker: Unfortunetly, for me this is totally true and that's the reason why I am bad on relationships and gurls are not interested on me. I'm too nice for starting a relationship, so in my case. What can I do? I'm not planning to change my point of view and I won't turn into a bad guy just to chaze some girls. Lol. XD. Nap, I'm who I am because I consider that i'm taking the right decitions and that's even more important that finding a girl :( Thanks for asking us this question. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
• United States
3 Jun 10
Well, you are who you are, and you won't need to make change of your persona in order to please any girl. Stay that way, and you don't change for anyone.
@angelajoy (1839)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
I used to have a boyfriend who was very nice but also boring. My current boyfriend is also very nice, but he has a great sense of humor. Many people like him. I think that's one of the reasons I fell for him. It's true that many nice guys are boring, but he's an exception. He's a proof that nice and boring don't necessarily go hand in hand.
• Mexico
3 Jun 10
Hi angela joy: Well then you're a lucky girl. In my case I have to admit that I'm not a really funny person even if I do my best to have a good and interesting conversation with my friends it's a little bit difficult to me. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
@rosie230 (1674)
3 Jun 10
I have also heard this... but for me as a woman I do not go for people for their niceness or bad boy image... for me I go for someone, who I get on with really well, and take things from there, I think that is why I fall in love very deeply. But I can see the point, because sometimes a man I know has tried to get with a girl, and he just gave her everything, and this girl just did not seem to care, he was lost as to what he done wrong, but sometimes some girls don't find it enough as for what they are looking for, I don't know how it works to be honest, and maybe that opinion is just something that has been sterotyped from some reason or another, but it does not describe me.
• United States
3 Jun 10
So, what if a guy is genuinely nice in nature, and he wasn't faking it in order to get a girl. But is that a bad thing? Or should he try not to be nice, or pretend not to care anymore in order for her to facing some challenge, not everything she ask for that she will get it?
• Philippines
16 Jun 10
I am wandering also why we are easily fallen to bad boys. Maybe because the bad boys are more on those character in the movies that the man always save the lady from the goons. Life is like a movie type of thing. But in real life there is no people that are always bad and there are those who are not always nice. I do believe a nice people is good but can be boring, sometimes. They are not consistently appreciated because girls is easy to get bored. They always wants new things, but I do not agree that being nice is bad in relationship.
• Philippines
5 Jun 10
Having a too nice partner is a dream hard so achieve maybe. That's why we compensate ourselves with the opposite which is just too easy to get. But honestly, what girls want is a partner who is too confident and somebody who could take them to the edge. The harder the person, the more our hearts get crazy. Isn't it?
• China
5 Jun 10
Well bad boy knows more trick to attract them with the girls that's why girls fall in love with them. And be a good never could be a wrong. It's very good habit. So be continue to be a good boy. Have a good day!
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
5 Jun 10
Too nice can sometimes appear to be false, only pretense. One needs to really get to know the other person to determine if their actions are natural or "put on".
@hagirl (1296)
• United States
4 Jun 10
My last marriage was a disaster.....The only thing good that came out of that marriage was my Son..... I did fall for the bad boy but after I got involved I was scared to leave..... He frightened me that much..... He threatened my family and me if I left so of course I married him...... I look back on things (14 yrs later).... Although my life was filled with physical and mental abuse I am a very strong woman.... I have always been independent but am now alot more independent.... I finally got my BA degree and working on my Associates in Paralegal.... It was long time coming since my EX would make me quit school everytime I started..... I have proved alot to him since the divorce..... He always said I was done and no one would ever want me.... Fooled him.... His best friend did..... I am happily remarried for 3 1/2 years now and never been happier..... I own my own mobile home and we are trying to buy a house ...... We have two vehicles that are paid off..... They are older models but not junk.... So I feel like God spared me from a life of abuse to give me a good life now.....
• Philippines
4 Jun 10
i guess so, coz there's no thrill..relationships needs some spice to work..
@Jotomy (6355)
• India
4 Jun 10
Hi kingparker, it is true that too nice to others are not good. They will take our "nice" as a lenience.
@kaylachan (4776)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
3 Jun 10
It depends on your deffenition of the phrase "too nice". No one's perfect, and I don't think there is a way to completely over do it. If some men were a little nicer I don't think it would kill them. I think nice people will get further in life. And the "bad boy" is more likely to get into trouble.
@_Honey_ (781)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
Hello. This is good topic. In most cases, we women like it if the guy is challenging because we always feel that we can make the person fall in love with us and tame him completely only to realize that we're only fooling ourselves. lol. As for me, I've been there a lot of times. Now, I realized that this is not what I needed and this is not what will make me happy even if I still get challenged by these kinds of men once in a while. I'm in a happy relationship with a very good, giving and loving boyfriend who can't resist a day without talking to me. I like it this way. I have peace of mind and I see myself blooming because I"m always happy. :)
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
3 Jun 10
I think it depends on what the truth is. If you're overly nice because you need to, and in so by doing impressing other people, then you are actually lying to yourself thus it is not good for your relationship. Otherwise, if it's your nature to be just nice to the point of being overly nice, then it is okay. We cannot change ourselves overnight, and being someone you really are not would not help the relationship at all.
• China
3 Jun 10
this is a old question. this question always appears betweenyoung girl and young boys. this kind thought not only appears in girl's mind,but also appears in boy'smind. there are no bad boys and bad girls. if he or she loves you enough ,he or she will change himself or herself. then he or she will became a good guy. otherwise,he or she does not love you enough. do you agree me?
• India
3 Jun 10
Too bad or too nice is not the matter. It is how much you love the girl that count. It also depend on your nature.....for some man can be adventurous that live a life of "dangerous". Some man may be humble living a "nice" life. So, it depends on the nature of the man and at the same time the likeness of the woman in man.
@CTHanum (8254)
• Malaysia
3 Jun 10
hi! yup! i have heard that before.girls are more attractive to a 'bad' guy rather than 'yes man'.it is just their perception by being with a bad guy will take the relationship more challenging.but it is not wrong being a good and nice guy.There are still major group of girls who like that type of guy. just be yourself and behave as you are.:)
@med889 (5958)
3 Jun 10
I would accept this statement because even I would not have chosen someone too nice to be with, human err and we all err so no one is perfect and thus we have all been wrong at some juncture in life. We are not very nice too and I will never be choosing someone who is too nice to then accuse me of being less nicer than him.