My daughters friend got me so pissed tonight.

United States
June 5, 2010 9:41pm CST
You may have seen my daughter's shape the other week I posted a picture of her. Well tonight she and her friend went to playland a theme park here in Ny. My daughter had just come from the pool and was wearing shorts and a pink t shirt. She was leaving in this same outfit to go to the park. Then she comes back in the house with her fat rooly polly friend. Who had talked my daughter into changing her clothes to wear a see through shirt so they could dress alike. Mind you kenya had on a black jacket in all this darn heat. I asked why she was wearing the jacket she said because and left it like that. My friend said she is wearing something she should not be so she is hiding it. Them my daughter gets to the living room wearing what I call whor*e wears. I went off and told her she needs not follow what others want her to do. And that she need to start thinking for herself. her friend asked if I blamed her for my daughter changing her clothes. I said yes,you see what she left here in. Then she comes back to change her clothing to what your wearing. Something you said made her do this. My daughter changed back into her decent shorts and shirt and left. I told her before she left. Never let other people make you show off your body just because you have one. Thanks goodness my daughter and I did not fight tonight over this. Was I wrong to tell the girl what I felt tonight?
4 people like this
13 responses
@cream97 (29168)
• United States
6 Jun 10
No, you are not wrong for telling your daughter's friend that. If she is acting so grown enough to tell your daughter what to wear, then she is grown enough to take the scolding. I really wished that your daughter would just do what is right. Good is in all of us, you know. It is so bad when peer pressure is so hard to resist. But your daughter must do her best to not get caught up in peer pressure. It never works for her benefit and it could lead her into more hot water. Your daughter is a beautiful young lady and she does not have to dress like a ,"you know", what just to show off her figure and beauty. There are many types of clothing that she can wear that will make her look very sexy, but just not in a sleazy kind of way.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
6 Jun 10
Don't you find it disturbing that this friend told the daughter what to wear and the daughter just did it? Do you really believe this girl does not have a mind of her own and is so blindly led? She KNEW it was wrong or she would not have put on the jacket. She KNEW what she was doing and she WANTED to do it. She had a choice and she did what she wanted to do. You can't blame this girl. I wouldn't be surprised if she put on proper clothes to please her mother and changed as soon as she got outside. I say this because that is just what I'd have done at that age. My mom blamed my friends and it wasn't them...it was me all the way.
@shooie (4988)
• United States
6 Jun 10
You weren't wrong and if more people would take an interested in what their kids were doing probably have less teens preg. Have a question. Who bought or where did the clothes come from that your daughter came home and changed into that you didn't approve off? Then I have a ding against what you said was very immature of you to call her friend fat and rooly polly. Upset yes I can understand that but to stoop to name calling of a kid. tsk tsk
• Mexico
6 Jun 10
Hi shooie and sid: I agree with you. We have to acept that our children are free to do what they want to including taking the wrong decitions. The only thing we can do it's to teach them that they should have a criteria and decide by themselves and give them the values we consider are important for their lives. But we can't control them at all. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
@lilybug (21148)
• United States
6 Jun 10
I do not think you were wrong at all. I would be pretty mad if my daughter were in a situation like that. She is only 3 now, so I have awhile before I have to worry about things like that, but I would probably keep her from hanging out with a girl like that completely. She sounds like she is a bad influence.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
6 Jun 10
Lily, You should teach your daughter to be strong enough to be around people like that and still do the right thing...its real life. They will always be exposed to bad influences. We alone are responsible for our own choices and actions.
@patgalca (14414)
• Orangeville, Ontario
6 Jun 10
I don't think you were wrong. I would have done the same thing. I am fortunate that my 17yo daughter refuses to be a follower. When friends start going down the wrong path she pulls away from them. Unfortunately I think my 13yo is quite different. She is one I will have to keep an eye on, though I don't think dressing like you mentioned would be an issue, but she still has a few teenage years left in her. Lots of kids succumb to peer pressure because they want to be liked and feel they won't be if they don't do like their friends. You said exactly what you should have said.
• United States
6 Jun 10
I don't think you were wrong either. You were just trying to protect your daughter. It's every mother's right to protect t heir children. Sadly, mothers can't protect their children from everything, but you will try. And you had a good opportunity to do so, so you did. You were right to tell her friend that what she did was wrong. Teenagers make mistakes. They learn.
@ladym33 (11008)
• United States
7 Jun 10
I would have told my daughter what I thought, but unless the girl made some comment about it I would not say anything to her, but it sounds like she did so with her saying what she did you had every right to tell her what you thought about he outfit and that you felt she pressured your daughter to wer that.
@loniu7 (153)
• United States
7 Jun 10
No Way! You are the parent. I understand trying to fit in and such, hey some of us still do this. But your right your daughter needs to make up her own mind and try to be herself. Obviously she didn't want to dress that way at first, and what was the point if she wore a jacket to hide it all day? Peer pressure is tough. I hope this is a lesson for her. That she can make her own decisions instead of following others. If you help her realize this know, it will benefit in the long wrong. Don't ever second guess yourself when it comes to the well being of kids. Seems to me you are doing a great job, and trust me she loves you and values your opinion.
• Mexico
6 Jun 10
Hi gifts and bags com: I think that you should only tell your daughter what you think about the subject but don't fight even if you consider that her friends are wearing wh*re wears and want that your daughter wear them too. It might be hard for you but just as you say, your daughter has to take these decitions by herself and at her age kids usually prefer to be with their friends so try not to put yourself against her friends. I think there are some other ways to convince your daughter that she doesn't have to be manipulated by her friends. Thanks for sharing with us this problem. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
@carmelanirel (20979)
• United States
6 Jun 10
No you were not, you did well and I am happy your daughter didn't fight you on it, it could have gotten messy..You also said the right words, instead of attacking her, you told her to not let others tell her what to do..I hope she takes that advice in more than just how she dresses too, it's good advice..
@Ladyslipper (1330)
• Philippines
6 Jun 10
I think you just did the right thing. It's fine that you scolded your daughter and her friend. If they are of the same age and both are still teens then it's just right. It could be that the girl (your daughter's friend) needs some motherly advice or I'd say scolding too. By doing this I hope you did not just save your daughter but had made the friend realize too of what is wrong.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
6 Jun 10
Hi Gifts, I would NOT have blamed the friend at all. When my daughters ever tried blaming their friends for their poor choices, I always told them that I give them more credit than that. They are too smart to be led by others. If they were that easily led than they did not deserve the freedoms of a more mature individual. If I were in your situation then my daughter would have had the choice of changing or staying home...simple. If she can't think for herself then I'll be her thinker...not her friend. I'm glad your daughter took your advice but no...wasn't the friends fault.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
6 Jun 10
No you did the right thing. This is your daughter and she should not be wearing things that are not apprioprate for her age. Especially with so many sick men out there in the world today. You had every right to tell the so-called friend how you felt. I'm just so happy that you and your daughter didn't fight over this. That shows that maybe she is really starting to change her ways and growing up to respect you.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
6 Jun 10
giftsandbagscom, I am glad that you had spoken out and that she had heed your words. Not trying to teach you what to do, but I think it would be good during your times together to see what she thinks is suggestive dressing. A lot of times, youths are dressing according to whatever is being portrayed over the media - their favorite sitcoms or television characters. They are simply catching some trendy influences from the screen that sometimes deliver the wrong message to the public and people. So, it is time for her to realize that and have an idea of her own. This consultative approach is also good for you to understand her more and about her other perspectives of life or herself. Hope my $0.02 worth is of help.
• United States
6 Jun 10
Personally, I don't think you were wrong at all. I probably would have done the exact same thing. I suppose peer pressure really is a terrible thing.