You ever wonder why people are the way they are?

@dloveli (4369)
United States
June 6, 2010 7:06am CST
In my opinion, I think that im almost too helpful. My man is always telling me that I let people in too quickly. Im always willing to give my last and go without. I have had people take all Ive had and come back the next week to see if I had more. I am not just talking about material things. I give my all. I am not trying to play the victim role here either. I am quite capable of speaking on my behalf. Its just that I try not to have to take it there. I am the type of person that would help you and your family and leave my family if I thought there was a real need for it. I love my family soooo much but lately it seems I havent seen them that much. I have been working alot. In 5 days Ive worked almost 70 hours. It may not seem like alot but I also walk to and from work. So needless to say I am exhausted. The patient I take care of had no coverage. It seems all the others didnt feel the need to come to work. It was put on me. Not that I mind the extra money. They didnt even say thanks. All I wanted was a thank you or I appreciate what you did for my mother. Its the same everywhere. You hold the door open for people and at least half the time you get no thanks or anything. People have become almost rude or ignorant to proper etiquette. Its such a small thing to ask and yet hardly anyone utilizes manners. You ever wonder why people do what they do? For the younger people I think its because they havent been taught correctly. For the older people I think its generational. By this I mean its how they view others out of their generation or age group. Happy MyLotting all dl
3 people like this
15 responses
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
7 Jun 10
I have the same experienced...we're not living a good life but knowing that my parents are too helpful people are abusing them,we even experienced skipping one meal because my mother gave our last but i dont blame my mother for helping people...i just want the people to know how to appreciate,just like what you said...but oftentimes the people we helped are those who traitor and do bad things to us,do we deserve it?like we almost gave our all and yet we end up being the bad one?geez people should even learn how to say thanks just let us know that we're appreciated..
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Im sorry that you have suffered so. I understand the need to be a good person but I dont think I would give your last meal away. The people must have really needed it. Regardless of what your mother has done, you seemed to be a wonderful daughter. I would be proud to have you as mine. Happy MyLotting dl
@zsarhea (302)
• Austria
7 Jun 10
oh thank you so much...its fun helping people but they are so insensitive that they cant feel that we sometimes wants to feel appreciated..
@redhotpogo (3935)
• United States
6 Jun 10
I use to wonder that, but now I know why they are the way they are, from looking at myself and why I am the way I am. Its life experiences and their influences through life. All these things are not an excuse for anything they do, in the end its up to you to make your own decision, but when it comes to the way you think about others, or certain things these things have a big influence on the way you are.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Jun 10
I dont think anyone could have said it better than that! Red you are highly intouch with society and its feelings. I do agree that some people have reasons for the way they are. But as adults we have the ability to choose what we say, do, wear, eat, etc. Going out into the public and being rude to people you dont even know is awful! Imagine if it was your mother. And because of social influences they are nasty, and rude to her. NO Im sorry you have the ability to change your beliefs, minds, decisions, etc. Its unacceptable to take your negativity out on another. dl
• United States
7 Jun 10
Yes, it takes a much cooler person to not do what the crowd is doing, and not worry about trying to impress certain people, and just do what is right.
• Philippines
6 Jun 10
let me shorten our discussion. The reality is..."That's the way it is"
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Hey Money It is the way it is. It seems to me that you have given in and accepted this to be the way life is. However, we can change it. People are always imitating or copying the ways of others. Would it be so farfetched to think that someone may imitate our good will? Anything is possible. Happy MyLotting. dl
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Hey its me again. I was thinking about your answer and looked at your picture. I am sorry that something or someone has let you down. Something has led you to feel this way. Im not trying to pry. Its just that usually I respond and move on. I couldnt get you off my mind. That response you gave is short but highly powerful. Dont let people or incidents make up your mind. If someone is rude or disrespectful dont accept it as the norm. Its not! Life is full of Idiots. Its making our way through them to find the winners. Keep on looking my friend. dl
@hexeduser22 (5856)
• Philippines
6 Jun 10
I don't have a definite answer for this because different individuals have different reasons why do they do the things they do. for me I think I just do the right thing for the people around me but I'm not perfect because I have some insensitivity issues sometimes. I guess I'm like this because of how my parents raised me and how I see things around me so when I was growing up I was not easily influenced by my peers. No matter how good we are in assessing the personality of the people around us there will be always be one who have this impossible personality that we cannot fathom no matter how we try to understand them. I hope there is a resident psychologist here in mylot that could enlighten us on this one
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Jun 10
We cant help how we were raised. All we can do is modify it as we see fit. I dont know you but insensitive seems a bit harsh. I think you try to avoid drama. You tend to probably avoid trouble. Its probably mistaken for insensitivity. All you can do is create a great circle of friends and maintain an open mind. DOnt hate just because you can. Life is more interesting when you open yourself to many friends and relatives. Its healthy to disagree and question. Its not healthy to keep yourself away from life. All we can do is take what we can use of our parents teachings and toss the rest. It really works. Trust me I know! Happy MyLotting dl
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jun 10
To be honest I'm full of drama and as much as possible I always try to avoid trouble. I have great friends and I can say I'm open minded, I'm not that easily influenced by my peers around me maybe because I have a strong foundation. Thanks for that wonderful input. It made me smile
@mokkka (883)
• Bulgaria
6 Jun 10
It all depends on one's personality.I myself may say than I found my real personality by reading a lot of psychological books.I know it may sound stupid to some of you but the most important thing in life is to know yourself best and then you are ready to treat and the others in the best possible way.As I know I don't want to get hurt I do everything in the best way so that I know I will not hurt any athor people with my actions.
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Jun 10
You are a very careful person Mokka. However, I dont think its fair for you to go thru life trying to avoid hurting everyone else. Im sure they are not doing the same. You need to be able to live freely. It sounds that you are being enslaved by the need to not hurt others. DONT let your desire to live without hurting anyone keep you from interacting with potential friends. Life is full of ups and downs, hurts, etc. You have to let nature take its course my friend. If you hurt someone it will clearly be unintentional. Say sorry and move on. GOOD LUCK my friend. Too bad more people werent so worried about the way they treat others. Happy MyLotting dl
@mokkka (883)
• Bulgaria
7 Jun 10
I hate being worried about something and try to leave in peace with myself that is why I avoid hurting people.Not that I have never done anything bad but it was as you say unintentionally.I hate the fact that everybody nowadays is in a hurry,busy,thinking only about money and are ready to do everything in order to reach their goal even to kill somebody.That is what I mean by saying we should think of our acts and not that I stay away from everything just trying to live in a more smiled way.
@dorannmwin (36608)
• United States
8 Jun 10
One of the things that I have thought to be the most important for my children to know in their lives is that they need to have good manners. I've seen my fair share of individuals that are my daughter's age that don't seem to think that it is important to say please and thank you and they don't even think that it is important to have some sort of respect for adults. That said, I think that the reason that there are so many problems with people today is because of the fact that they've not been taught proper manners.
1 person likes this
@karen1969 (1788)
12 Jun 10
Yes, it really annoys me when young people don't have respect for their elders. When I was a teenager in the 1980s, we respected and looked up to our teachers, the police, the elderly and so on. But these days, kids seem to think it's okay to abuse their teachers and not to stand up for an older person to get a seat on the bus.
@Opal26 (17694)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Hi dl~ You are so very right! It is really sad how people have become so uncaring and to me, shallow! You are right that no one says "thank you" hardly anymore even for the simple things like holding a door for you! And I take the bus and sometimes it is crowded, and I have a bad ankle and knee. Do you think the "younger people or men" would get up" Hell no! Sometimes I just ask them for their seat if I am standing for too long! That is just plain disrespectful! If I see someone older than I am standing, I don't think twice even though it would cause me discomfort because that's the way I was brought up! This world is very sad! And it is a generational thing, I just don't know when "good manners" went totally out the window!
1 person likes this
@dloveli (4369)
• United States
7 Jun 10
Oh Opal I see the rudeness on public transit on a daily basis. I just would like to know how these children have gotten this way. I know great parents whose children are the most rudest people you'd ever meet. I think they think it makes them cool or look tough. Little do they know they look ridiculous. Maybe if these things happen to their parents they understand. Happy MyLotting dl
@celticeagle (111680)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Jun 10
I do often wonder what makes people do what they do. I think people do things the way they do because it makes them happy. First and for most people want to be happy in their own little worlds that they live in day in and day out. Then comes conditioning and how they have been treated through out their lives.
@karen1969 (1788)
12 Jun 10
I feel the same sometimes too, that I am always giving and rarely taking. Some days, I feel I am constantly doing something for others and I forget to look after myself or to take time to relax. I think it is important to ensure you get some "me" time or else you get worn out and are no good to anyone. I often feel I am "running on empty" and feel exhausted by the end of the day.
@RobtheRock (2485)
• United States
6 Jun 10
Yes, I do wonder and think about why people are the way they are. You reminded me of my experiences in Detroit twenty years ago. Back then I would open a door for a woman (I was taught this in grade school, I remember the time in first grade when my cousin and I were giving a demonstration and I had to show that men on the sidewalk walked nearest the street so the lady wouldn't get splashed.) So I was used to opening doors for ladies and holding doors open for the other person behind me to get it. Welll, in Detroit, the women seemed to be insulted. They would go through the other door rather than the one I held open. What hurts worse is the time I saw a lady with a baby in her arms. I held the door open for her and she went to the other door instead. Yet, in spite of the meaness of others, I am stubborn and refuse to not be nice to people. I won't let them change me! As for wondering about people, I know that some of it is inherited or racial (not as in race) memories. We seem to forget that all of us have a warrior who was merciless and raped and pillaged on our lineage line way way back in time when some village, tribe or whomever was conquering others. Sometimes those traits spring out of us modern people.
@Hatley (152339)
• Garden Grove, California
6 Jun 10
hi dloveli as a young woman I worked for years as a nurses aide'and was always amazed at the way people are.Some people who were very poor were ever so polite and kept thanking me for just doing my job, while others who were fairly well often were often rude and sure never once said thanks for anything. It was as if okay we pay your wages so you are our servant so get the hellout and serve us. grrrr. It only takes a few muscles to smile and say thanks. i am again amazed at how much real kindness has been shown to me here at this retirement center by the other residents. they say please and thank you yet they are of all ages and stages of health. I am only here as at 83 with a bad leg my son's loss of job and our resulting eviction made us both homeless so this was what my son though was best for now until he can get a job again, its been a year and a half since he was laid off. anyway getting back to the subject politneess seems to be a lost art for people of all age s, and yes some of the elderly of my own age are just as rude. I dislike that too as it puts us elderly in a bad light. we are not all rude like that. lol lol
@Lakota12 (42794)
• United States
6 Jun 10
Seems to me that they should have said thansk for the care. I always try to say thanks and please and excuse me and am teaching my grandd aughter too
@erikmama (12934)
• United States
6 Jun 10
You sound like me!! I've always been a caring and kind person and I am always getting screwed in the end. I can tell people how I feel but I hate to be mean to people.It amazes me that there are such mean and selfish and uncaring people in this world. But all I can say is that your peace should come in knowing that you are a good pperson with a big heart and in the eyes of the One that really matters, you are an angel.rf
• Philippines
6 Jun 10
Hi hon, I know what you mean. There are so many ungrateful people around. Have we becomes this ungrateful? Gratitude is an attitude of the heart if its not there then it would never show. We can't give what we don't have and by saying this if someone was never imparted gratitude by one's parents then we cannot expect that from that person unless of course if she tries to learn social graces. Our employees are so darn ungrateful as well, they always want to take but do not give back. When their children or spouses are sick or they are going through a rocky period we always help them out financially. They can get an advance from their salary even if pay day is 2 or 3 weeks away. Sometimes out of pity we never let them pay the money they owe. But when it comes to their work it is half hearted. They cheat on the time they work, they lie, they do not perform the task they ought to do. This has made me become a different leader. I became strict and placed barriers between us because familiarity does bridge contempt. Now that I help out in the office I do not allow cash advances. I deduct time if they are late even just for 5 minutes. I check out their work every hour and what they have accomplished. They have come to resent me but I am not running for popularity contest and do not care if they like me or not but I have to get the job done and make sure we get what we pay them for. I have learned that we cannot always be kind because there are people who just takes advantage and abuse you. When refuse the request next time you are a monster. It's hard not being liked but they have no choice we own the establishment and either they work or they resign. Its as simple as that. My grandpa used to say you give them an inch they want a mile next time. You lend a hand they want your arm next time. Worst of all these people does not even know how to say thank you and even look back on the favors given to them. They only think of what they can gain.
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
6 Jun 10
I think you have the martyr complex and you are also afraid if you refused that people would hate you. Usually this happens because they have a person in their life= a mother, aunt, or an older friend who always sacrificed for others and they make them feel that they have to give of themselves fully and have nothing left for themselves. Oh and it depends on your personality. Some copy the martyr and some rebel. As for saying thanks, some people find it hard to say that. They may show it not in words but in actions. So if any of the people whose parent gave you a card or a bunch of flowers, etc. you can take that as a thanks. As for the others, sometimes they feel they do not know how to say thank you and feel that people would laugh at them, etc. Silly, yes it is, but people sometimes have ridiculous faults. Oh I think you should listen to your husband and do not feel it is your duty to sacrifice yourself and your family. If you have something important or if you are too tired, tell them "sorry, but I am too tired. I am afraid that I might cause an accident if I worked this morning( or afternoon), accidentally give you the wrong dosage, and I am sure you do not want that to happen." And change the words or sentence to suit the way you talk