Why Are We So Adept At Saying Personal Stuff To People Online?

Hi Janey.. Yes, I am a therapist, but now in semi-retirement. Writing out our feelings are definitely good for us, because when something is written down, it cannot be repressed again and we can resolve many inner conflicts. However, one should always bear in mind what we share about ourselves and assess if this will give too much information that can come back on us or our families. EVen writing things in a journal that remains private is of benefit. _Derek

You are a therapist aren't you? I can tell! It is interesting what you have just said in that we tend to get stressed over little things because we can't face up to stuff that - as you say, gets repressed. So, would you say that typing out my feelings and writing in diaries is good for me? I do hope so.

Thanks Jane, you can always PM me too if you need to. Our problems are caused by a lot of different things. My wife has suffered most of her life from depression. A lack of communication in the past as well from both of us has also put pressure on things. As we both work together from home, we have had trouble switching off from our work roles too in the past. This year has been difficult money wise due to a couple of business issues that went wrong and that does not help, but it is not mainly due to money. We are working through it by spending more time alone doing enjoyable things together (not just work), switching off from work at night time, seeing a counsellor, etc and it is working slowly.

I never knew you had problems with your Mrs. It is frustrating that you want to open up but she cannot and would much rather chat about you both to her friends or online. For all I know John could be doing what I'm doing but, somehow I doubt it because he can't use the internet at work and he doesn't use his Mac that often, only when I speak to Mum on the phone..although he does have the opportunity then doesn't he? I will never fully understand what is going on in his head. I am sure he wants to offload stuff on me but he's too introverted. He's the type of guy that would much rather toddle along than to confront head-on what the problem is. Last year I had Mum round and it was awful because it was so obvious John had something on his mind...and that something was money. He finally opened up after Mum had gone home. I told him never to do that again as she thought she'd said or done something to upset him as he didn't exactly talk much when she was here. I really hate that. I would much rather he just spurt it all out than to keep it bottled up inside. It's not healthy. I suppose I do the same on this site. It is all bottled up and the only way I can feel better is to write it all down, as I am doing now. It works too..for a short time at least. Sorry to pry but are your problems extremely personal or linked to money? PM me if you ever want to confide in anyone my friend.

It's not good bottling it up. But it's not good dumping on the other person either. Theoretically you ought to be able to find a happy medium. I never did find ours though...

Yes, sometimes it is actually easier NOT saying anything because, like you say you get a reaction you didn't anticipate...and you don't want to become upset either. John does get the wrong end of the stick at times and I end up going all round the houses to explain myself further. That I don't mind as I'd much rather do that than to bottle my feelings up, I only wish he'd do the same!

Thanks for that informative response. I was thinking along those lines myself. If people on here are sick of me banging on about my woes they stay away whereas in the real world I'd probably have no friends left lol. I suppose life would be boring if none of us had problems to deal with...it is HOW we are dealing with them that is altering because of all this technology and - like you said, anonymity.

Yes, it's the same with me. I can go on and on when I know a person well but, sadly, there's only my Mum who truely knows me better than most. Even she says I do things that surprise her but she and my Dad have always been there for me without being clingy, do you know what I mean? I can phone Mum and talk to her for an hour and a half. She does get a word in...in fact she talks more than I do being a Gemini lol.

That's Ok 3honor. I've been away too so me and Tangeryne are in the same boat so to speak.

Hiya folks..nice to know I've been missed!!! lol.. Hmmm my mom's Gemini as well. Guess they do talk a lot. My mom's an extrovert while I'm not:-)

That is so true! I do know that my hubby represses his feelings and sometimes I wish he would just come out with what's on his mind. He is better than he used to be though as I once said to him, "Look, I'm your wife, whatever it is that is bothering you just tell me about it as it makes you ill bottling it all up." That, of course could apply to me as well. I tend to hint at things to him rather than blurt it out as I don't want to hurt his feelings either. Relationships are so complex aren't they my friend?

Yes, they are and I think men are particularly bad at expressing their feelings most of the time. I think it is due to the "men don't cry" culture here.

Hiya GardenGerty! Yes, I do know what you mean. Such lovely people on this site (including your good self) who I would dearly love to meet but most of them are abroad and not in the UK, more's the pity!

I know exactly what you mean! Frightening isn't it? I really think most people are honest on here too because it would take far too much trouble to lie every day..and they would be found out by the readers I'm sure. Mind you, if a discussion is interesting I don't really care if it's made up or not. In my case, though, I'm an Aries with an Aries Moon and Ascendant so lying is alien to me. What you read is what you get..good or bad, sad or funny, uplifting or depressing. That's me in a nutshell!

Hi cher: I think that here, on the internet we can enjoy of a sense of privacy. If you want to tell a secret to someone else you can do it without revealing what's your real name and where do you live so that's a good motivation that makes people being honest on the internet. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO

Yes, I do know what you mean about anonymity being used in dubious circumstances. I honestly think though that many people on MyLot are actually shy so to be able to communicate like this will be a godsend. I'm not shy as such but it does take me time to get to know people in the real world. On here it takes about 5 minutes to make friends with people on MyLot as I don't have to speak to anybody.

Haha! That's true enough. I had to see the doctor earlier and I hated having to explain everything that I had already mentioned to another doctor who doesn't seem to be there anymore. Passed from pillar to post and the gynaecologist is the next person I will be seeing. I can't wait! NOT!

Me too! So do not suggest it to mylot.

Hello there! Thanks for that well thought out response. It never fails to amaze me how we can all communicate our thoughts, dreams and fears in written word but cannot do so via speech. It would be interesting to see what would happen if MyLot suddenly decided to "make us" communicate via speech on webcams. I bet most of the members would disappear overnight, including me!

Hiya Starsailor! Like I said earlier, I do have a diary (have done for years) but there aren't enough lines to vent my anger, happiness or whatever I'm feeling on the day, so MyLot is ideal for expressing myself in this way. It is an added bonus when good souls like yourself choose to respond. You are quite right, it's not threatening, is it, communicating via computer although I despair of people who pretend they are someone else, usually on Facebook. I could never do that and become upset over the latest "victim" of someone online who pretends to be someone much younger so as to groom children into befriending them. Even though I'm not very young myself in a funny sort of a way I feel much safer in MyLot than I ever did in Facebook which is why I don't have an account with them anymore.

That is so true. I like to think I have advised others from my own experiences in life. I try to be upbeat (about myself) but it is difficult at times. Optimism is probably my greatest trait though and I refuse to "lie down" so to speak. I am a fighter if nothing else.

If you can type everything in full as opposed to being like a text it would be beneficial for the readers and your good self as the more you type the more you earn my friend. Welcome to MyLot!

I have a problem in that I have no close friends I can confide in. I am quite sure that if I spoke to one of my female friends "confidentially" I have no doubt what I would say about hubby would be passed on to him. I don't trust anyone here. I am glad that Jesus gives you strength my friend, that is comforting to know.