Stopping the Bully

June 7, 2010 2:12pm CST
On our recent holiday my two year old had just got the confidence to go on the dancefloor with the other young children and join in the entertainment at the clubhouse. We were right near her at the table watching her when a young boy around 6 years old comes over to my daughter and pushes, hits and pokes her. I go over straight away and glance around to see if i can see someone coming over to stop their son though there was no one and at this point my daughter is crying with this boys finger in her eye. Calmly I take his hand gently from her eye as I couldnt pick her up with his finger hurting her and said quietly 'that wasnt very nice' and take my crying daughter back to her table. 5 minutes later i see a woman marching over to us with the boy. Silly me thought she was bringing the boy over to say sorry to my daughter as that is what I would have done though instead she gets right in my face and shouts at me saying she would 'smash my face in' for going near her son. I am nearly in tears and shaking as I feel there was no need for this at all. Luckily the security guards at the clubhouse were really understanding and kept an eye on the lady and even said that they would take her out and speak to her and possibly ask her to leave the site though I said not to as i was upset enough. Needless to say the holiday was ruined. All I was trying to do was look after my daughter. When no parent came to sort their son out I had to remove his finger from her eye though did it very gently and never told him off at all. Even now a week later I still feel really upset with what happened. What would you have done in this situation?
2 people like this
5 responses
@rosie230 (1674)
7 Jun 10
I would have done the same as you... I have to say some people are so rude, and tend to leave their own kids running loose so that they can enjoy their time without them bothering them. As sad as this is, that parents can do this, it does happen, I have seen it a lot... but some parents thrive on causing trouble and letting rip at people they think it makes them big and clever, but it doesn't it just makes them look stupid and weak. If my son had done this to another child, I would have made him apologize even if it were accidental, and if I had not seen the incident myself, I still would listen to the mother of the other child, and make sure that my son knows what he did was wrong, and made him apologize. As a parent we have responsibilities to our children, and I teach mine right and wrong, and respect for others. I hope your little girl is ok, and I hope you are also ok after dealing with this woman.
7 Jun 10
Thanks Rosie - just what you have written has made me feel better about the whole situation. My daughter lost all confidence to go on the dancefloor after that incident which was so sad though she has all but forgotten about it now luckily. What broke my heart more is that she had been so excited and proud of herself for dancing on the dancefloor and to have that ruined for her was so upsetting. It has made me worried about going on holiday again though I know that is silly. My daughter is ok and thats all that matters. Thanks so much for your reply :)
@rosie230 (1674)
7 Jun 10
Your welcome... The good thing is, your daughter is still very young, and at that age they will forget, so that is something that you can be grateful for. I am sure she will have many other times where she will enjoy herself on the dance floor, maybe the next time you may have to encourage her for a little bit, until she regains her confidence, but after that she should be fine. It's not silly to be worried about going on holiday again, as lets be honest your holiday has left you with bad experience, so it is only natural for you to feel hesitant. But just remember that what happened on holiday could also happen near to home. Like me for example... I have a friend that had her baby a week after I had my youngest, and we visit each other a bit. But my little one has this thing where he has to touch faces, with his hands... now he is only 15 months old, as is her baby, but I have to keep pulling his hands away, and have told him off before now, because he upset her by doing this. When your daughter goes to pre school or starts school, she could have the same problem. So don't be worried bout going on holiday again, you should actually go again, and enjoy it, and hope that nothing like that happens again. I would be worried the same as you, after dealing with this once I certainly wouldnt want to deal with it again, and would be worried that it would happen again. x
7 Jun 10
Again thank you. It is very true it could happen near home - I suppose its that safe feeling of home which makes me forget that aspect. Hopefully our next holiday will be full of fun x
@cicisnana (776)
• United States
10 Jun 10
OMG, that was so wrong of the other mother. Did she just expect you to allow her son to bully your daughter. I would have done the same thing as you did since his parent did not step forward, you could not allow him to continue hurting your daughter. You could have actually been charged with neglect if you had not done so. But I would have probably responded the same way you did too. I am not a confrontational person and for people to be mean like that is just ridiculous. Did you ask her what she expected you to do?
11 Jun 10
To be honest I was so shocked that it wasnt until after that I thought of what I should have said - it always happens like that with me! Thanks for your reply, with all the replys here I am starting to feel a lot better about the situation :)
1 person likes this
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
11 Jun 10
Don't feel bad. You did nothing wrong at all. You and your daughter was the victim in all of this. This boy is weigh too old to be poking his finger near your daughter's eye. Say, your daughter actually got hurt physically when he did this. Then I wonder if his momma would have marches right on over where you was at then??
7 Jun 10
That sounds terrible. I am not a parent myself but I believe you did the best you could. During my time at school I know of similar incidents with over-protective parents and I'm sad to say it is one of those things that does happen. We have to be so careful with all theese laws to protect children. I think you did the right thing and I hope you can move on okay. Best of luck.
7 Jun 10
Thank you leighann - I think Im able to move on better as my daughter has though it was a really scary and upsetting experience which I hope never happens again
@Cutie18f (9563)
• Philippines
5 Jul 10
I would have smacked his hand there and then. He could have blinded your daughter and the mother has the nerve to be angry when it was her fault for raising a bully like that. I think these bullies need to be disciplined real hard because they will grow up having such bad character if we continue to spare them the rod.
@cream97 (29169)
• United States
11 Jun 10
Hi, elfwillow. I would have handled this situation the same way that you would have had. I would have gotten my daughter so that she can come with me. I would take her and leave. I would not have stayed knowing that she was crying. That boy really needs some manners. You can tell that his mom does not teach him any. I am sorry that this has happened. I am glad that the security guards was there to back you up if this woman decided to be nasty any further. I would have been upset. Knowing me, I would tell her to calm down and I would tell her that her son was poking my daughter in the eye, and that I told him it was nice to do this. This is not your fault at all. The parents of this child need to raise this child the right way.