Would you stay if your spouse cheated

@thomad13 (212)
United States
June 11, 2010 11:33am CST
If your spouse cheated on you could you stay? I know my grandpa has had is flaws in the beginning of their marriage and my grandma stayed and they just celebrated their 45 year anniversary. If you do stay how can you get over the thoughts of what they did and forgive? You will never know the full truth of the situation, only what has been told to you. Do you ever really get over it and trust again? Can a person make one mistake and stay faithful for the rest of y'alls life together? Would you try to work it out because you have children together? What do you believe and what would yuo do in this situation?
2 people like this
10 responses
• United States
11 Jun 10
My exhusband is my ex because he cheated on me and got another woman pregnant while I was pregnant. My daughter has a brother one month younger than her. I could never move on with a situation like this. She does not know her brother till this day which I think is horrible. Her father is in jamiaca with god knows who because he was deported from the US. and they wanted me to remarry him to get him back here. never in a million years could I stay with a man who cheated on me. If I did it would send the wrong message to him. He could get away with it a second time. Plus why give someone the chance to give me a std and live to tell about it.
@thomad13 (212)
• United States
11 Jun 10
Wow thats a sad situation. And I completely understand your decision to leave. Do you believe he could have changed if there was not another child involved.
• United States
11 Jun 10
he could never have got the chance to change with me. I don't ever want to give a man a second chance to cheat on me. I left with my daughter and my freedom. I could hav eleft with hiv/aids.
@Royalty10 (196)
• Guyana
11 Jun 10
I might...it all depends. I'd probably make him walk over "hot coals" first because I wouldn't EVER want him to do it again. So I'd definitely make him crawl and he'd better show that he is truly sorry because with me he'd most likely only get one chance to do better.
@thomad13 (212)
• United States
11 Jun 10
I feel the same. I always said I would be out the door, but there are different levels I believe. All of it would hurt butI think I could get over if he talked to another woman but if he slept with here I could never forgive that. I am your wife and you vowed your loyalty to me. But he would go through H*** to gain my trust back.
• Malaysia
12 Jun 10
Relationships can sustain if there is forgiveness. We are all human and we err. In many circumstances, we fail. In other situations we are tempted. So if a marriage is matured, it can withstand these typhoons of temptations and hurricanes of hopelessness.
@Andyvil (793)
• Philippines
12 Jun 10
I have been cheated by two of my exes before and I really could say that I wouldn't stay in that relationship if someone cheated on me. It would only end later on cause I would never trust that person and I would definitely won't be faithful to that person anymore. So staying with that person would only be a total waste of time for the both of us.
• Philippines
12 Jun 10
hello.. for me it will depend on these..first.. is this the first time he did this to me? second.. what kind of person he/she got for cheating me? and the third is..what are the things i will need to sacrifice if i get out ? .. all these things are important issues to be answered by me so that i just stay and forgive him/her and forget everything and start a new life again with him /her.. nobody's perfect! happy mylotting!
• United States
11 Jun 10
Even though I'm not married and I'm not the type who would choose to get married, I would leave him if he cheated. Most definetly. Cheating is a type of thing I can't tolerate, even if I've been with my husband for years and even if we had a great marriage. Him cheating just proves that he's interested in another woman and is pretty much untrustable with that type of situation. Have you ever heard of the saying, "He who cheats will cheat again?" That most likely might happen. But this is all just my opinion of course. :)
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
11 Jun 10
It's hard to accept when your loved one betrays you. It can tear you apart. Everyone deserves a second chance. The reasons for the betrayal could be as important to your relationship as the betrayal itself. Search your heart. It will tell you if your loved one is worthy of your trust again.
• United States
11 Jun 10
If I was in a situtation like that it all really depends on the persons track record, like if they've done it for or nearly cheated before. If you know how to let things go then the in doubts that you have will eventually fade away so long as the person is open-minded enoughh to forgive the cheater. In my opinion anyone can make a change for the better so long as there are no true weaknesses within the individual. Having children with someone can make or break a realationship but wether the person chooses to stay on the behalf of the children is souly on the victim. Nearly anything in a realationship can be worked out so long as everyone comes to an agreement in the end, and nothing is left unsaid. I would stay if I had a history with someone I would talk it over with them and hopefully could work through the problem for the sake of the feelings I have for them and our children. Hope that helps
@edorms36 (266)
• United Arab Emirates
11 Jun 10
Hi! I just want to know first thing is that, if you have witnessed the unfaithfullness of your spouse yourself first hand or is it just something that was relayed to you? As you can see, there are certain situations that we have to take into consideration first before deciding on this kind of situation because it;s not your life that will be put in ruins, there are other lives too, your children and your spouse as well. Second, how grave the cheating have been? If that would mean a disrespect and dishonor to your marital vows already, then it will really have to be time to let go. Whatever it is be sure to seek into the deepest part of your heart if all the love and respect for the other person is already gone, because without this two main ingredient any relationship will collapse in the long run.
@chillpill90 (1937)
11 Jun 10
To me it does not matter on why the person cheated if the person claims they love someone then they should not be kissing or cheating on their partner. If my partner cheated on me they would be out of the door as if someone says they love me i would never be able to take them back or trust them if they ever cheat on me it would not matter if there were kids involved or not.