The Hardest Phone Call I've Ever Had To Make

@pyewacket (44036)
United States
June 11, 2010 8:08pm CST
I think somewhere along the line we have a phone call to make that we might dread making and can be the hardest one to do. Well, today was officially my day to make a phone call I've put off for almost two months, yes, almost two months. (Of course there were other reasons I held off) As many of my friends here know, on Monday, April 19th very early in the morning, my beloved black cat Pyewacket went to Rainbow Bridge..he literally died in my arms and he had absolutely no health issues as far as I can tell, and due to his sudden death like that, it must have been a heart attack--why he had one, I have no idea, for like I said, he was his usual healthy self up until about an hour before he died. Well I did have a bit of a dilemma on my hands. I'm on disability benefits and I just plain didn't have the money to "take care" of him right away. I live in an apartment building and yes there is a small backyard of sorts, but since that is the landlord's property I don't think it would have been legal of me to bury him there, besides to be honest, I preferred the idea of having him cremated and have his ashes returned to me. I didn't like the other alternative of calling the Sanitation Dept for a pick up, where he would have been treated in effect like so much garbage. Very soon after my friends were aware of Pyewacket's passing, some generously sent me money toward a "proper" arrangement and I can't thank them enough for those loving generous hearts of my friends (some here, some at Facebook)--but to be honest it just wasn't enough...so I managed to keep that money aside, not touching it, and continued to save more from my benefits until I finally figured I had enough. Yet.......I still procrastinated...I just couldn't make that darn blasted phone call...I'd stare at the phone, realizing I needed to call, but didn't. In the meantime I had him in "storage"---uh, yes, at the risk of grossing people out, I kept him in my freezer...but hey, the alternative of keeping him "out" would have been even grosser. Finally, only just today, I just plain made up my mind. It was time to let go...time to put that final closure.......time to say goodbye and I made the call. I made the call in the afternoon, and everything was arranged via that call...his pick up (which was a few hours later), arranged for a private cremation, I picked out an urn from the photos on the Pet Memorial website and his ashes will be returned to me within a week or so. The odd thing was I think my other kitty, Kissy sensed something was "up"--while sitting in front of the computer she sat on my lap most of the day...she was in her way trying to console me. So yes I had financial considerations that sort of delayed my putting final closure on Pyewacket, I just plain found making that phone call to make arrangements the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life....I had less of an issue to arrange my mother's funeral than for my cat. I KNOW that sounds odd, but then maybe to you who have gone through the same thing with your furbabies know exactly what I'm talking about and feeling. So .......has there ever been a phone call you absolutely dreaded making and kept putting off? What was it? Please tell and share.
8 people like this
20 responses
@cerebellum (3871)
• United States
12 Jun 10
I am sorry you had to go thru that! You probably thought that making the arrangements would mean he was really gone.In your subconcious you probably thoght if you didn't make that call and make the arrangements, you could hold onto him for a while longer. You probably expected your mother to die, but he was healthy so I'm sure you didn't think it was his time. Did you ever find out for sure if it was a heart attack? The worst call I have ever had to make was when I had to call my mother (who lived out of town) and tell her I was getting a divorce.It was a couple of months before I told her. I might have put it off longer, but I was moving back to her city and she would find out anyway.
4 people like this
• United States
12 Jun 10
First she was concerned that I was upset and if I could function properly and about my future. She also said she wasn't aware we were having any problems. I didn't tell her because she worries about everything and I didn't know if it would work out or not. She never came out and said it, but in a way I think she wasn't suprised. She never liked him anyway.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jun 10
I dreaded making the phone call but I never put it off. When my daughter was hit by that mans car my life almost ended. I was in such a distort spot it was hard to make any calls. I went to call 911 and called my mom in ny. I went to call my friend and called someone else. by the time the police and the ambulamce came I was on the ground screaming to god to save my childs life. I know how hard it was for you to do what you did. I live on ssi and it was hard to get my animal shots.
4 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Naturally that call you had to make was a LOT more urgent, but I sense the trauma you must have felt. How truly horrible about what happened to your daughter. May I ask how is your daughter now????
1 person likes this
@quita88 (3716)
• United States
12 Jun 10
My phone call was about my mama. I knew she was in the hospital and I thought I was flying home to take care of her. She had lung cancer that had metastasized to her brain...... I was in the Salt Lake City Airport with a four hour layover and knew I had to call my aunt about how mama was. I waited til I was settled and still couldn't dial that number....finally I just did it. My aunt's voice told me everything.......mama had just taken her last breath....... no wonder I didn't want to call. But I do so understand your reluctance. hugs,quita
3 people like this
• United States
12 Jun 10
We've already talked enough so you know that I understand what you went through completely. Luckily for me, my daughter called and made the arrangements as I just couldn't talk at all without just losing it. I kept Kashmere in the freezer also until this was done as there was no other choice, so it doesn't seem strange to me at all. What else was there to do? I wish I was working, I certainly would have sent you something to help you out for sure. I think you know that..hugs xxx.
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
16 Jun 10
You know it's a good thing I did call to make arrangements when I did. Up until last Friday my refrigerator was working okay--it's now pooping out on me...yikes he would have been defrosting by now. Waiting to get a new fridge...the landlord is obligated to give me a replacement.
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Jun 10
OMG!!! No freakin' way! That's just crazy, I swear. Doesn't it make you wonder what prompted you to do this at that particular time? You know what I mean? And soon enough after, your refrigerator breaks. It's almost like it was just meant to be, and you were suppose to call at that time. Strange stuff. Happy to hear you'll be getting a new fridge! He sure is obliged to do that. I hope you're not going to have to throw your food out. Take care hon, xxx.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
17 Jun 10
LOL--maybe I had a psychic sense to take care of Pye when I did...unfortunately I did have to throw a lot of food out...and I had only stocked up too :-(
• United States
12 Jun 10
I am so proud of you. I know it was so hard but girl , Pye's spirit had left his body months ago and has been around you ever since.I am glad to hear you have another kitty to keep you company. You aren't alone. And you know you can write me here , via private message, or at my yahoo address Whenever you need to talk.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
12 Jun 10
When I get a little more "settled" Kissy may be getting a new kitty friend....via an on-line friend of mine who doesn't live too far from me, knows a pet rescuer who is fostering a cat named Nicky ...he's the spitting image of Pyewacket...so who knows????
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Jun 10
That sounds wonderful! Let us know how it goes.
1 person likes this
@Aurone (4758)
• United States
12 Jun 10
The only phone call like that I have had was when my husband left me. The hard phone calls were calling my family and friends and telling them what happened. As long as no one knew it wasn't real besides getting through each individual phone call was torture. It was also hard to call the lawyer as well. I keep crying on the phone (which freaked my friends out because I am not a crier). Which actually made it hard to make the calls.
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
12 Jun 10
I'm not a "cryer" either, and while I didn't cry while I was making that phone call today, I was wondering if I sounded like a babbling idiot...LOL. It's like my "logical" thought process went out the window
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Oh Pye. I didn't know that that was what you had done and didn't know you still didn't have enough. I'll send you some more when I get a chance. I want to help a fellow friend and animal lover in any way that I can. I don't want to see you struggling as you already are but hey, that's what friends are for, to help one another at our time of need. Kissy seems to be a real and genuine sweetheart and doesn't want to see you in such pain. Bless your heart and hers!!
2 people like this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Thanks and hugs CatsandDogs.....I think Kissy is basking in her new limelight with all the attention she can get from me and couldn't before
@celticeagle (118231)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Jun 10
I think the hardest phone I had to make that pertained to an animal was back when had this sweet little two tone brown kitten we called Moe. She was such a sweetheart. One day my ex and I both had the day off and spent it regrouping in bed. In the afternoon we went to check the mail and there was our Moe in a box. SOmeone had run over him and left him on our step. He was still alive and we took him just the few blocks away to the vet. It was very hard to call them later to find out how he was. They had to put him down. He was so crushed. No way of knowing who hit him, or what transpired. I think they must have tried to knock and we didn't hear them. That was probably the sadest call.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Oh how sad about Moe...I guess if the person that had run him over was the same person that put him in the box, it sounds like he/she had some "kindness" to them--most people sad to say wouldn't have gone through that trouble
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (118231)
• Boise, Idaho
13 Jun 10
It was truly sad. He was such a character. I am sure you understand how every once in a while there comes one into your life that just touches ou even more than others. He was sure special. And I wonder to this day if the people who hit him may have knocked and we were so deep a sleep we didn't even here them. No, I agree. Alot of people wouldn't have gone to the trouble. Atleast they were alittle humane. The vet was extremely nice too. They sent us a card too. So sweet of them.
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
14 Jun 10
I completely understand about how some pets touch us more than others. I have loved ALL my "babies" but some stick in my mind more than others...Pyewacket was one of them
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Jul 10
yes.calling to get the results of the other 5 when a 6th cat tested positive for FeLV.i had to,but boy,i didn't want to inside. i will never ever introduce a new cat before having it tested again. thankfully only 2 of the 6 turned out to be positive,but i still feel guilty for it.even one is too many.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
24 Jul 10
Sorry to hear that two of your babies tested positive for FeLV. When I think of it, years and years ago when I used to rescue stray cats there didn't seem to be the same concern or worry about cats with FeLV or HIV, etc. What I mean it seems more cats have these diseases than they did years ago or is it my imagination? Anyway, not once did any stray cat I picked up/rescued had any of the feline diseases..thank goodness!!
1 person likes this
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
12 Jun 10
WHen my White Fang was ill And I hadnt been out of the hospital about a month I couldnt make the call my daughter did she knew it was time for us to le go aqnd we took him for his last ride and I coldnt even go in the room with him I filled out papers instead for I had to get credit pay monthly to have him creamated. THe cost was awfu high I thought but i have him with me and his ashes are up there on the shelf with hubby.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
16 Jun 10
I'm planning to make up a special little plaque for Pyewacket with his picture and set it near the urn--know just the right spot for it too
@Lakota12 (42684)
• United States
17 Jun 10
Very cool I have my Fangs ashes next to hubbies we have a selves just for them
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
12 Jun 10
Hi there Pye, I know this has all been so hard on you. I am so glad that you are surrounded by good friends who care and have helped you to give Pyewacket a proper goodbye. I think that while it will be difficult, you will feel so much better in your heart once you have this done and over with. I know that for myself when I procrastinate on anything that I don't want to do but has to be done, that it eats away at me and I feel it in my gut. Once I finally put myself to it and actually do it, it is like a great weight lifted off me. Best to you, Pye.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
16 Jun 10
Yes I do feel a great weight has been lifted. I think though, once I get his ashes back I'm going to be sad all over again--I'm thinking of making up a special little plaque for him to be near the urn with his ashes
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
17 Jun 10
That's a great idea. We did something similar with my mom's urn. We got one of those frames where you can put multiple pictures in it and framed some of our favorite to hang above the stand where her urn was placed.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (49079)
• United States
16 Jun 10
I'm glad you got that done, but I'm so sorry you had to make the call in the first place.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
16 Jun 10
I knew eventually the day would come but thought I had a lot more years with Pyewacket
@dawnald (84148)
• Shingle Springs, California
16 Jun 10
Oh heck, any phone call to anybody I don't know is a dreaded phone call. RIP Pyewacket...
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
16 Jun 10
I hate making phone calls period--just not a phone person
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
13 Jun 10
Yes...when I was 18 and in beauty school.............I had to call my parents to tell them that I just found out I was pregnant. I didn't want to break their hearts...it was a tough call.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
18 Jun 10
Yes I can understand that must have been a very difficult call to make---how did your parents take it?
@cher913 (25891)
• Canada
12 Jun 10
last year when my dad passed away, since i am an only child, i was the one that had to call all the family. that was really tough!
1 person likes this
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
12 Jun 10
Phone marvel of communication technology - Phone calls can be happy or sad.Depending on the conversation.
Personally the hardeset phone call are of informing bad results in my examination when i was studying to my parents.Another bad hardest phone calls are to my ex girlfriends when have to break off.Some of these phone calls i receive from girlfriends also stating they want to break off with me.Hence hardest phone calls made or receive in my life are usually about relationships and also examinatio results.Other stressful calls made may include asking for job interviews initially those calls are quite tension also.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
18 Jun 10
I have to agree--all three of those kind of calls must have been very stressful for you--hope you don't have to make anymore of them in the future
@xasasa (323)
• United States
12 Jun 10
The hardest call I to make was to tell my parents that I was pregnant with my son. I was not married and they still thought that I was a virgin. I wasn't afraid to call them, I just knew that they would disappointed that I was pregnant out of wedlock. I was also hard to tell my family that my marriage was ending, mainly because I wasn't expecting it myself that my then husband would tell me that he did not want to be married anymore when less than a month before we rebought lost wedding rings and took our first couple pictures. With that I cheated and texted them telling them that I would call when I could talk about it without breaking down.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
17 Jun 10
Those two calls really were hard and both to your parents--even texting them must have been hard
@nancyrowina (3850)
12 Jun 10
I'm sorry to hear about pyewacket, if something like that happened to one of my cats, and now also my dog I would be in a similar situation as I live in rented property and wouldn't be able to afford cremation straight away. It must have been horrible to have to keep him the freezer but I of course understand why you had to. I'm glad you've finally been able to make arrangements and hope his ashes are returned soon with no further problems.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
17 Jun 10
I'm hoping that in some way if I can, to start saving a bit of money aside so I never get caught unexpected like this again.
@BarBaraPrz (19838)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
12 Jun 10
I understand. I've cried more about losing a kitty than I did about losing a parent. With my mom, she had been off meds and food for a week, so it was expected and I could resolve myself to it before the fact. Not so with the kitties.
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
16 Jun 10
I hear a lot of people say the same thing though....that they grieve more for a pet than a member of the family at times
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48716)
• United Kingdom
12 Jun 10
Hi there Pye I know it was hard but he will finally rest in peace now and he will always be with you Mine was not Phone call, mine was when I had to rush Max (my previous Dog) to the Vets to be told there is nothing they can do for him, I had to make the decision there and then at first I refused, but then Max looked at me like he was asking me to let him go because he was in Pain, I signed the Paperwork I then held Max in my Arms, the Vet then did the deed, Max looked at me as if he was thank and bye, he then went to sleep in my Arms for ever it was the hardest thing we also had him cremated, but he had to stay at the Vets till we got the money together to pick him up My Son now has the ashes as he was more my Sons Dog I know it is hard Pye I know it very clearly but he needs to be put to rest so he can be there with you Hugs to you
1 person likes this
@pyewacket (44036)
• United States
16 Jun 10
It's never easy to make decisions like putting one's pet to sleep...I've had that experience as well. Still as hard as a decision is like that, I would never like to think any of my "babies" are in pain