problem in relationship

@BYOLA2871 (4373)
South Africa
June 18, 2010 8:46am CST
hi dear friends on mylot, this post centres on a conversation i had recently,my lady friend complained that she usually gets very jealous whenever her boyfriend greets another lady though she knows very well that the guy is not cheating on her ,I tried so much to convince her that she is only being unnecessarily edgy but she says she cant help herself.To compound her problem the guy works in a fashion house where most of his clients are female ,what do you think she can do about this?
3 people like this
11 responses
• United States
19 Jun 10
My gal friend that I hang out with a lot has this same issue. The only difference is that her's isn't working right now just living with her. I think its over reacting because I feel like you should trust them until they give you reason not to trust them. Although with my gal friend she has known him for 9 years and it's been a bit of a roughness so to speak because they just got back together. She loves him probably more than any guys she has been with but she is so jealous and you can tell it when he goes with her. Cause a girl can even look at him and she thinks she should be fightening her and I think that it's a bad thing because the man should be more trust worthy. The industry that your friends in is a toughy but it would just be like hanging out with your boyfriend at the bars and not expect any one to talk to him if it is a place you all visit quite frequently. It's jealousy and I can understand to an extent but trust him and have eyes and ears all over the place that he doesn't know about til yuo can trust him further.
@Metatronik (5911)
• Pasay, Philippines
18 Jun 10
No offense but I think your friend has a deep insecurity that she can't just get rid it off that is why giving advises would not just work but I think she must experience something that would make her realize that she does not have to get jealous with other girls.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Jun 10
First i know how your friend feels coz i was once like her. Oh my gush before i was terrible when my partner greet another woman i just feel jealous, i turn red, i easily be sarcastic towards my partner and i know it is not easy to feel that way. It really drains out my life and my energy,until one day my partner really notice this kind of behaviour that i have so he talk to me one on one,talk everything and finally my partner know where i was coming from so he help me. He said at first its not him it is all about me it is because i am insecure but when i hear that word oh my gush i turn red again then i throw words that really hurt my partner,one good thing about my partner is that he is very understanding and supportive. It really takes a while before i admit that i was an insecure person thats why i easily get jealous. When finally i had a one on one talk to myself and admit that i am a jealous person and insecure it is a nice feeling and i am trying to work myself out. I know my partner has no any intention with other women it is just me but after i finally admit of who i am and made a changes in my it is so nice. Now i am totally free from jealousy but at first it is not easy trust me. I treally needs self reflection and dedication to change your attitude coz your attitude is your fortitude.
@srganesh (6350)
• India
19 Jun 10
This type of possession is inevitable and without it her love should be doubted. As she knows well about the guy that he will not cheat on her, she should be confident more. Asking him to quit the job will be too much. Better ask her to marry him soon.
@Tangeryne (413)
• India
19 Jun 10
I think that's just the way we females are made!!! Every girl goes through pangs of jealousy and insecurity not only when it comes to boyfriends but friends as well!!! I think her boyfriend should sit down and talk to her. Also he needs to be very verbal and tell her each time that he cares. That will help build up her trust and faith in him. Obstacles always come your way in a relationship, you just have to find ways around them!!!
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
For me it is your problem but when you feel your self that the winner take's it all then it is happened not happened that you feel much jealous.
19 Jun 10
I can sympathise greatly with your friend as I too suffer irrational bouts of jealousy. I think the key is to talk to him. Tell him although she trusts him 100% that irrational jealousy is still there. And it's only because she cares. My way of handling it is to just laugh and make light of it... "can't believe i'm feeling jealous again...." comments said in a light hearted manner generally end up in being given a hug and some reassurance! Communication is the key! All the best for your friend.
@dexter77 (68)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
If your friend have trust and confident in her relationship with her boyfriend, then she has nothing to worry about. Besides, too much jealousy sometimes can lead to break up. All she have to do is to make God the center of their relationship. This guarantee her a 100% success in their relationship no matter what.
@vikas_711 (106)
• India
19 Jun 10
I think its her nature, i think if she knows that guy is not cheating on her. ANd if she try to convince herself hard, she will be succeeded. It may take time.
@Bhemzky (423)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
I guess she really needs to to talk to her boyfriend and tell the guy what she feels. Jealousy is normal in every relationship. Good communication is the most effective way to overcome it. For them to understand one another and make some clarifications.
@Hatley (164654)
• Garden Grove, California
19 Jun 10
hi byola I see that she is not wanting her boyfriend to even be around other women but as you say she is a friend of yours, point this out to her that her boyfriend is not having any trouble with her having male friends so why does she worry about her boyfriend. she should trust him as any good love relationship has to be based on mutual respect,trust, and honesty.She cannot stop him being around other women, that's his job and he has to trust her around other men. We all need friends and we should not expect each other not to have friends.