Should you look for love or let it find you?

@labea17 (443)
Philippines
June 18, 2010 10:30am CST
I have always been a firm believer that I should not look for love but instead I have to let it find me. However, I am wondering and having doubts about if. How will the right man find me if I am always at home? How will we meet if that was the case? Should I go out and open myself to other people? I want to find the one that I will love forever and for him to find me too. What should I do? Should I wait or go look for love? Please share your opinions and experiences regarding this matter.
16 responses
@Philip65 (91)
• Brunei Darussalam
18 Jun 10
well im not really a person who really go look out for love until recently. i don't really socialise much as most people who often goes out does. i do believe with your kind of thinking, it in a way tells me or others about who you are, your character. I am not talking about whether it is good or not. but im saying that it will attract the right person into your life according to who he is, the kind of partner he likes as well as one who accepts you for who you are. stay with your close friends maybe and have them introduce you to into their groups. Nevertheles always be who you are and not to change who you are in a way that is not comfortable for you while attempting to go after someone else. If you are one who likes to stay with the family, someone who admires you will find you out sooner or later. Otherwise the internet is also a good way to make new friends as well as to meet life partners. However be aware and careful of who the negative side as well as who you are interacting with. All the Best in your Love life =)
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Wow I realized a lot after reading your reply. I realized that I should not change myself for someone to love me. You made me realize that someone will soon come into my life and will love me and would grow old with me. I also know and hope that the right man will come in my life and accept me for who and what I am. Thank you very much.
• Brunei Darussalam
19 Jun 10
hehe.. glad to have helped.. i know this is not easy and sometimes we might get hurt in the process or if anything goes wrong.. well im sure we will find "the one" someday.. just don't be hasty =D
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Well, I am not really in a hurry to find love. I am just afraid that I might miss it or it may not come my way.
@juicekodai (1122)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
i beleive that love will find us.. but you also have to open yourself for love.. like what you have said you will never find love or love will not find you if your at home hiding... im really confused too, coz they say love will find its way... duh!.. whatever.. just open yourself for a date... go out once in a while... party!.. hahaha.. but be careful coz loving means risking your heart from being broken..
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Same here! I am also confused on what to do. Maybe I will just try to open up myself more so that I will be able to meet other people. I rarely go out, so that's gonna be my big problem. But I am not really in a hurry to find someone, so I'll just let it be, for the mean time.
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
yup that is right.. i remember my biology instructor said once, that the best time to find love is in college since most of the people at the workplace are married... it will be difficult... but yeah, dont be in a hurry, soon love will find us or we will find love.. hahaha.. still confused...
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Yup! We will surely find true love someday! :)
@meirhu (367)
• Israel
19 Jun 10
I am an activist, not only about love. I think you SHOULD ALSO look for love. And I think hat you should do it the "right" way. Want to talk about it ?
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
I sure want to talk about it meirhu! I want to look for love but I do not know where to start and how I should do it. I'm clueless about it.
@meirhu (367)
• Israel
19 Jun 10
I don't think that we can talk about it here. It's NOT a one sentence kind of thing. Here are the 4 ways that I can help and is usually what I suggest to people when I talk to them in a messenger. Send me a personal message and we can exchange addresses. 1. To help you find someone who lives close to you. 2. To help you find someone on the internet. 3. To make you more attractive. 4. To introduce to men when you come to visit me.
@dierdre (2213)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Well, if you are always at home then the statement 'let love find you' is not really applicable, right? Hehe. But i prefer not to look for it, coz it will just happen naturally when you start having feelings for a certain person. So if you wanna go out and meet people in the hope of finding someone, there's nothing wrong in that either. Who knows, your heart just might skip a beat when you lay your eyes on a certain person for the first time, lol. As for me, i'd rather go through life not searching for love, coz in my experience, when its due to happen, it will happen. It just depends on the timing.
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Well I think that that will depend on many things. Like with me, I think that love won't be able to find me because I am always stuck at home and I rarely go out. However, I am still thinking that what if I always stay at home then the one time that I go out I will meet the person that I would spend the rest of my life with. Just wondering..
@dierdre (2213)
• Philippines
22 Jun 10
Lol, dont overthink too much regarding when it will happen, if its bound to happen it will happen.
• India
19 Jun 10
i look for love rather than waiting for love because find loved one in our close one and living is better. i prefer loving one who loves me rather loving some one search for your love and love them then you will be happy in your life. love and love untill you die
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
I hope that I would be able to find my true love too..
@cac2010 (41)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
cac2010 True don't look for love. Don't tire yourself. The right person will come into your life naturally. Of course you have to go out and attend some gatherings and willing to meet everybody around. Don't worry you'll find him and cross each others path very soon. I never thought my husband is my true love since we are just gangmates before and have lots of quarrels in our first 2 years of married life. But as we go on to more years of our married life, we have adjusted well to each other and we have I think that that both should contribute on how the partnership would last forever...
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
I made another realization after reading your comment. I realized that I shouldn't look too far for the person that is meant for me maybe is just around in the corner. :)
19 Jun 10
You can always look for it or you can always wait for it to find you. Is love only you falling in love or is it someone loving you back. The person who loves you will love you for everything you are and are not, and you will do the same with them. love isnt about finding the perfect person, its about learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. A great americn philosopher by the name of Sam Keen once said that.
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Yes, you are crrect. It is about loving a person inspite of his/her imperfections. Whatever I chose to do, I know that love will surely come my way someday. But it's kinda confusing, isn't it?
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
18 Jun 10
You don't have to look for true love in your life. When it is real, it will find its way to you. The heart knows how and when to accept love. The door is always open to love. we just have to learn to let it in.
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
You are correct too, sender. I am still confused though..
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
hello labea17! i think it would be better if you would let love find you. Looking for it and then not finding it will only make you feel despondent, disappointed and hopeless. However, in order for love to find you, you have to let yourself be available and make yourself visible in the right places, where good people or people with good habits or same interest will generally go. For example, in church or religious gatherings, in libraries, bookstores or music stores and the like. We are living in a world where everything is changing so fast that even we, women, has to make our own ways in this world. In order for some things to happen, we have to let it happen. Just sitting down and waiting for it to happen, will get you nowhere. On the other hand, don't make haste in finding love. Even if i do believe that we have to actively do our part to realize the things we aspire, i still believe that all things happen in their own due time. So, go for it slowly, but surely..
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
I am going for it slowly but surely and I am not really in a hurry to find love. You are right, if I want to look for love, I should go to places where I can meet people of my same interests and places where there are good people like the church or bookstore. I also know that I won't be able to find a person who wnats to have a relationship in bars or clubs because the people there are usually looking for just flings.
@black007 (21)
• Pakistan
18 Jun 10
once a girl went to an old man and she said ell me what is reality of love he said that go in the garden and bring a flower the girl went there and the next day she came there empty hand the old man said that why she did not bring the beautiful flower she said that I had found a beautiful flower but I thought that there may bee another more beautiful then it so i left that and start searching for another beautiful flower but i couldn,t,then i ame back to pluck that flower but the flower was not there so that,s the reason i could not brought the flower. The old man then said that this is the reality of love that the one who is infront of us we did not care for that and search for another more beautiful than the one we have and when we could not find it we come back to our previou one but that one has gone so by this real story we got the leason that we must take care of the one who loves us and we do not need any effort to find our love and we must care of our love.
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
I understand the story better now. When love comes my way, I should hold on to it tightly and never let it go. Thank you. :)
@med889 (5958)
18 Jun 10
He will find you no matter where you are, I believe that love always find you rather than one person who is always after love, however maybe if you are sometimes in other places instead of always being at home then the chances that love find you is greater.
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
I am still confused, but I know that the one for me is just out there waiting for me. I am still not losing any hope. :)
@saphrina (31739)
• South Africa
18 Jun 10
You need to get out a bit, sweetie. You don't have to go look for love, BELIEVE me, love will find you. Just relax, be yourself and enjoy yourself, it will come to you. TATA.
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
Thank you, saphrina. I know and I am still hoping that I would find true love someday. :)
@babyanna (1217)
• China
18 Jun 10
Hi,labea17! Personally,I don't think love will find you if you always stay at home.You really should go out and talk to different kinds of people to finally find the one.Love will find you eventually,but only by you putting efforts in it. I was staying at my dorm and reluctant to go out too at first.And then I found my life quite boring and I knew only a few boys.Then I decided to go out and socialize.I found a boyfriend.Though eventually it didn't work out with him,but at least I have got a chance,right? So go out and meet more people and wish you find the one or the one finds you among so many people around the world. Have a nice day!
@labea17 (443)
• Philippines
18 Jun 10
You are correct. I really have to get a life and go out and socialize with other people. I definitely would not be able to find someone if I am always staying at home. I hope that I would find someonee, too. :)
@besthope44 (12145)
• India
3 Aug 10
Well true love will find you!
• United States
19 Jun 10
One day I decided I would do something special for the Lord. A beggar came to my door needing food, but I turned him away because I really had to come up with something special for the Lord. A woman knocked on my door asking for directions. I told her I didn't have time because I had to do something special for God. A homeless man came into my yard while I sat on the porch thinking about my special project for the Lord. He asked for work. I shooed him away for he was interferring with my thoughts. Nightfall came and I still had not found the right project for God. I went to sleep and God visited in a dream. "I tried so hard to think of something wonderful to do for you today." I told him. "You didn't try hard enough," He replied. "What do you mean?" "I sent three people to you who needed help. You turned all of them away. Nothing would have made me prouder of you than to see you selflessly help those people. Sometimes you have to put forth an effort for others before good things come to you." He turned His back on me in sorrow. The moral: Stop thinking about someone who will come looking for you. Open your eyes and your heart and go out into the world looking for whatever you need. Opportunity knocks, but if you are not in the right place or are not paying attention to it, it will turn around and leave. Also, remember, not all people fall in love and marry. Their lives often take another path that is more fulfilling.
• India
19 Jun 10
Well usually everybody at first goes looking for love and eventually it finds them. Those people who believe love will find them believe in destiny though i am not sure if they can handle being with the one they have just got. I believe in looking for the one you love as we know what we want. So it's better to love the one you want to love than wait and let someone do it for you.