Do You Ever Think Of An Old Love?

United States
June 19, 2010 8:35am CST
My husband and I have been together for 20 years now and I still love him with all my heart. But there are times that I remember someone in my past that meant so much to me. We were only friends but my feelings as well as his (I think) went deeper. There were circumstances involved where we couldn't get closer. I still wonder what would have happened if we had gotten together, where would I be right now? Do you ever think about these things? Do you regret not fighting more for what you wanted? I guess it's just the not knowing that keeps me remembering.
1 person likes this
15 responses
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
20 Jun 10
It isn't that easy to forget someone especially those you come accross accidently in your life.It would be worse if you end up loving them.It hurts when you think of your past but you got nothing left than to cherish those sweet memories and feel bad for letting them free without sharing your feelings.coming to me i never had one until few months back---sad that i ended up loving a devil and huuuuuh what can i say...but i still love her with my true heart no matter what.great day.
• United States
20 Jun 10
I'm so sorry she hurt you! Keep looking my friend, the right one IS out there.
@sunnycool (12737)
• India
20 Jun 10
Nope she isn't bad at all---i just love the way she is
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
So timely...last night as i am opening my Facebook account,reading some friends comments and messages when suddenly,a name flash on my mind. I try to type his name and search on the FB bar,and much to my surprise,i saw his profile. I send him friends request,and ohhh,after few minutes i received a confirmation that he added me. Wow,i just can't believe it happens so fast. He is not my past boyfriend,but he did courted me (but,some circumstances never allow us to get involve much deeper) He is still as good looking as he was 20 years ago,and,he feels so happy to see me again. He sends me messages,and take us hour for chatting,so much to say. Happy weekend
• United States
19 Jun 10
That is soo cool! Are either of you in a relationship right now? You never know what could happen, wouldn't it be funny if after all these years you got together now!
@jaiho2009 (39079)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Yah,he is married and so am i...maybe,we are not really meant for each other. Besides,we don't have much memories to shared,just remembering some old good moments.
@RachelleNH (1408)
• United States
19 Jun 10
Yeah now and then I'll think back on one in particular that's been missing for years. It didn't end as I'd hoped so I guess without closure you will always be left wondering the what-if's...I've moved on but now and then when I'm lonely-I'll think back to him and wonder where he went and if he ever found love.
• United States
19 Jun 10
Do you ever see him? Once in a while I do see the person I'm talking about. They look older now of course and a little tired. But I'm sure I do too. I'll hear a song on the radio sometimes that immed. makes me remember. It can be bitter sweet!
• United States
19 Jun 10
No, it's been over 15 years..this was a high school flame..I sometimes wonder about him though. I think it'd be hard to see an old flame around...it'd keep you from forgetting them for sure!
@knight09 (17)
20 Jun 10
I find, although I am young, that the one girl I really fell for still crosses my mind. Even when I look back on it consciously, I know she isn't/wasn't good for me but there was something special about the way she made me feel and how easy it was to be with her and talk to her. It drives me nuts still once in a while but I wonder if I really miss her or if I just miss having that special connection with someone.
• United States
20 Jun 10
Having a connection with someone is the best way to make it last! You were smart enough to know that she wasn't the right one and I'm sure you will find someone who is.
@juggerogre (1659)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
Yes. I sometimes think of my first girlfriend. We are together for 3 years and she's my first love. I also think what if she's still my girlfriend now. That would mean we are already 8 years. Probably I'm already thinking of proposing to her. But its already in the past. I'm happy with my life right now. We are still friends by the way.
• United States
20 Jun 10
I think it's wonderful that you are still in contact. So many times we lose touch with people who are important to us and I think that is one reason we think back on what if.
• United States
19 Jun 10
I like this topic coz i can share my experience and my points of views. And at least in this topic i can vent out of how i feel coz there is no one whom i can talk to. I am married now but i guess my past is still keeps reminding me, i love my husband darely and i cannot imagine living my life without him in short he is my life.I did not do anything to ruin our marriage but i just don't know and i can't explain why my past is still lingering in my mind, i always dreamt of my past ex almost every night and it came into a point that i cry coz i do not want to dream or remember my past but still then i told my husband then he talk to me and we share things out. I always pray that hopefully one of this day i will not dream of my past ex. i just do not know why i keep and keep dreamking.
• United States
20 Jun 10
When did your dreams first start? Were you having problems at that time, perhaps it's a way for you to forget what is troubling you.
• United States
19 Jun 10
I think of my first "true love" a lot. I have tried to find him on facebook and on anywho.com. I can't find anyone who would even know where he is now! But I do think of him often. Our teenager plans were to get married on the day between our birthdays. Then each year we'd take a 3 day vacation to celebrate! His b-day is the 3rd, mine the 5th so we'd marry on the 4th of that month! lol! As silly as it sounds, I think about it a lot especially when my birthday gets closer each year! Just wondering where he is and how he's doing!
• United States
20 Jun 10
That is a sad story, do you have any friends from the past that may know where he is?
@kquiming (2999)
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
I think I can relate to that kind of feeling or situation. BUt I guess it's healthy as long as it doesn't cause any strain on the present relationship. anyway I also think it's possible to be in love with 2 (or more) people at the same time -- but in different ways or level of deepness. and of course, there is one who prevails over the other or the rest. but sometimes we might not be aware of it.
• United States
19 Jun 10
I agree with you. My husband never knew about this past relationship and he never will. He only knew we were friends. I can't say I was in love with this person but given time I think I could have been.
@dian21 (606)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
I think it's just normal for people to remember someone special in the past and think what they could have been together (and giggle like still a teenager). It's almost impossible to forget the person itself, but the feelings can be..I also thought of that before even when I am married already. But I realize that it's just a waste of time to think about it. I just diverted my thought to something worthwhile. I will just think that however we wanted, we're not really meant for each other and there is the only one person only for me to think about our present and our future, and that is my husband.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
For me it is the part of the married life there's up's and down sometimes many mad thing's do to your husband but as long as love is in there so be it.
@_Honey_ (781)
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
First Love - Usually, our first love is not our last.
Hello. Occasionally, I remember the person. But it's not really something serious about that. I'm happy with who I am with now and I have no regrets of ending up with him before. I think I always made good choices and in case time again will bring us back together, I might still end up breaking up with him. It gives me more peace of mind.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
19 Jun 10
Every once in a while the flashback of an old love will pop into my mind. Reminiscing can be a good feeling. different times with differnt people are good ways of reflecting on the past.
• Philippines
19 Jun 10
hi there. i guess old flames never die. it's just up to the person to grow a fire. i don't mean to sound righteous, but just trying to be a little objective. when one gets married and the marriage lasts long (or forever). the marriage is perfect until a time comes when other thoughts are entertained. it is but human to feel and reminisce the past. it is normal. too normal to be be hung up on the what ifs. you are right, not knowing keeps you remembering. and you get to appreciate what might have been. however, what might have been could be different now even if you take a risk of rekindling old feelings. you think you might still feel the same, but what if you meet and for some unexplained reason, it all changed? just enjoy reminiscing. what's more important is that you get to compare how special and differnt your husband is to the guy you loved before. ;-)
• Mexico
19 Jun 10
Hi kitten claus: I think it's normal that you remember this love because it seems that your relationship with him even if you were just friends was beautiful and deep. When a person touch us is normal that we ask ourselves "What if..." questions but we have to remember that we can't live in the past. Try to think about these episodes in a positive way and don't feel sorry for the things you didn't do. Things happends for a reaso. Thanks for starting this discussion. Have a nice day. ALVARO
19 Jun 10
good for you yeah