How come guys hate showing any emotions at all?

United States
June 20, 2010 10:35am CST
Me and my bf have been dating a year and a half now and right now hes out of town visiting family upstate. We text and talk some but when I say something sweet to him he is ALWAYS like "k". It really pisses me off but he told me he hates texting sometimes because it gets to the point of yep,k, yeah, :), stuff like that which is understandable but its like he hasn't called me beautiful in idk how long and he just seems to be distant when i want to talk to him. He told me i was the only girl hes ever loved which is true because other girls were like a week at a time relationship but i do know and trust that he loves me but i don't understand why he can't say things to prove it. Its almost like he doesn't admire or adore me...please help me understand.
2 people like this
10 responses
@StarBright (2799)
• United States
20 Jun 10
Hi, Hiphopgirl. Welcome to Mylot. Some guys are just not comfortable with mushy words, but they will go to the wall for you. Other guys are good with the words, but when the going gets tough, they are nowhere in sight. I have been married to the guy who doesn't say much for almost three of your lifetimes. I will take that guy anyday over the one who talks a lot of trash. The proof is in the doing. He told you that you are the only girl he has ever loved. You can see that you are pretty. I can tell that from your picture. Anyone who sees you will say that you are pretty. Your beauty is probably one of the things that attracted him to you. Why are you feeling insecure? To understand how he is, you may have to know how his parents interact with each other. My husband says he never, ever say his parents hug each other or kiss each other (not even on the cheek). Can you imagine! Now try to figure out a guy who has never witnesses his parents show affection for each other. Your BF is probably overjoyed when you show him expressions of love. That is one of the things he loves about you. It is just that he doesn't feel comfortable returning it in the same way. He seems to be there for you, so give him time and don't push so hard that you push him away. He will show you his love in other ways. Just watch.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
I am also one of those people who had never told my mom to kiss or hug each other because they never show it. guys tend to be shy, quiet and it's not that expressive unless it was part of his breeding.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Jun 10
some boys are so sick that the sum of all terrorist wreckage in the world will not be enough to illustrate how terrible it is. before you ask that question, ask first, is he feeling well? who can feel any emotion when he is sick? girls have no trouble showing emotion since they are perfectly healthy and normal. women are smart but they know nothing about us guys.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
20 Jun 10
hello hiphop, that's because a guy can't afford to show also weakness because people would assume that he's a wimp.it's normal though, but don't take it negatively because there are still attitude that are different from men and women. so, relax and don't let it bother you, am sure that your man loves you more than you thought possible.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Jun 10
emotions should be treated like little children....they are better not seen or heard! i have no problem showing "affection" (if i had someone to truly show affection with) but emotions are just not attractive! if a female would make her emotions serve her that is one thing..but all the females i have dealt with were simply slaves to their emotions! the crying, the nagging, the doubting and confusion that emotions bring...it is just no worth it. if there is a problem..instead of crying or complaining about it..correct it! but even in dealing with the closest person to me even just yesterday..her emotions are just so unattractive! she wonders why i wont be with her..but we argue more about what she does wrong, when i keep telling her..stop repeating what you did wrong and just correct it! but then she gets mad at me that i dont wanna hear her emotional excuses! no, emotions are no good unless they are controlled and ruled by wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. but emotions usually just rant and rave over how it feels..without any real point or knowledge or solution to the problem. i would do better to hopefully someday have a woman who has all her emotions in check. i could never truly tolerate an emotional female, because i am honest and a young man of actions..not complaining.
1 person likes this
@meirhu (367)
• Israel
15 Jul 10
I think that guys are protecting themselves from being hurt all the time by being rejected. As such they prefer to close up .
• Portugal
13 Jul 10
i believe that he loves you^^ but you know i also feel that when guys said they loved me they never were like always saying sweet words but they did things that i felt they loved but is like is not enough right? we need sweet words too to be confident about their feelings. sometimes i think all guys are like your bf they just love but dont show it much. they should change a bit about this. anyway im sorry you feel this way. maybe your bf can change a bit soon i wish so. i also had the same prob you have. but if he loves you thats what matters and as long as he cares for you and kiss you and hug you and at least says he loves you everyday is what matters^^
@Tangeryne (413)
• India
21 Jun 10
Hey there, I know what you mean. My ex was like that you. I think most guys hate texting. He used to text only during class hrs and if I had to text him otherwise, he would reply with a one word answer or his text would contain a lot of errors and spelling mistakes as he just just to lazy to type. Instead, he would just call me and speak rather than text!! Think they don't understand how important expressing or complimenting us girls are!! Probably they think we would think they are too mushy if they tell us stuff like that! With me too it was the same, I used to tell my ex that if he likes me why doesn't he say so and express it. His excuse was that he couldn't express himself. Once in a way he used to tell me those 3 magical words every girl wants to hear but then over the last couple of months we were together, he never said that even!! Anyways, guess your guy is shy. You take control, let him know as often as possible how you feel towards him and maybe he'll reciprocate as well. Good luck.
@jamed28 (1910)
• Philippines
21 Jun 10
Well this is my opinion on this. To be more specific about this, man are quite uncomfortable to show their emotions that will make them look weak. At looking weak is looking awkward for them. Man have this masculine ego.
• United States
21 Jun 10
Come on in front of his family. Guys are not comfortable expressing emotion at all in front of their family and friends. I have been with the same man for 12 years and he still is not comfortable in front of his friends and kids expressing emotion so I do not force the issue. He loves me and we do not need to express this every second to know that we are together. He was an only child and his parents did not express emotion in front of him. Therefore he is somewhat shy and it took us along time of knowing each other before he ever asked me to go out. But when I need a friend or a relative has passed away or I am sick he is right there by my side when it is really important. PDA or public sentiment is taboo to most men so do not be too offended. It is how he treats you when you to are together that really matters and you know how he feels anyways.
@tomcat23 (623)
• Old Forge, Pennsylvania
20 Jun 10
This isn't true for all guys. I'm rather emotional and I'm not afraid to admit I even cry when it comes to a "tear jerker" movie or story. Everybody is different. You say you know and trust your man loves you so that is a good solid base for your relationship. I know when I was younger, my buddies were always afraid to admit they truly had feelings for a particular girl, mostly out of fear of being teased. I don't know your BF, so I can't say for sure what the issue is simply because there are so many possibilities. Does he trust that you love him? As far as admire and adore you, its really your call.