Flowers for the wife.

The fact that you are both trying to get things back on an even keel is great. I can only imagine how difficult it must be living the kind of lives that you both do, where you are separated and having to fulfil totally different roles for so much of the time and then trying to cope with the shock of picking up on your husband / wife roles as if nothing's changed in the time you've been away even while you have two such young children to nurture and they change daily... Maybe things can't ever be exactly the way they used to be, but as you guys get close to each other again and acclimatise to the changing lives you have with the kids growing and moving the goal posts daily, they can be even better. Doing the little romantic things like buying the flowers you mentioned and most especially about making time for her are bound to make a difference. All women appreciate the little things that you do and say, as much, if not more than the grand gestures (though they are nice occasionally lol)

hi :) im not married yet. just in a relationship :) but i also experience alot of arguments with my boyfriend. i noticed that when i go BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH, he'll just shut up and let me say everything.so that i could release my anger. then when he notices that i've calmed down, he'll talk to me as if nothing happend.(thru text message) he'll ask if i have eaten already. or what am i doing, you know, the usual "opening a conversation" kind of questions. then, we're ok again :) maybe you should understand your wife too, and not call her THE WIFE.

Hi Justin, It sounds like you do long hours at work but she does too so it is great that you are going to try to makeamends, being a fulltime mum is exhausting especially and you have two young ones so all you may want to do is come home and rest but she is looking forward to you cominghome and taking some of the weight off of her, it is all about compromise, so whilst she is fixing the food instead of reading the paper go play with the kids for a while so they aren't ather feet and when you do get time to talk, talk honestly and openly about how you both feel and this may be resolved just by making subtle changes. good luck. huggles. Ellie :D

Hi, JustinStout. I think that an romantic dinner that is sensible would be great for the two of you. And you can, talk to her with an open heart. Let her know how you have been feeling. Listen to her and relax your minds as you both unwind and spend this time together. Talk about positive things. I hope that it will be okay for you both. It takes time but things will not always seem so gloomy.

Justin - How long has it been since you came home from Iraq? I am assuming you were there in the Armed Services and if so thank you very much for your service. The fact of the matter is weather you were there serving your country or on private duty many families that have had the kind of seperation you have had go through similar situations. Mom has had to play the role of both mom and dad for and extended period of time while constantly worrying about you, so she is exausted. You on the other hand have been in an area where it is a struggle for everyday survival, so you too are exausted. The important thing to do here is get back to the little things in life that made you fall in love with each other. Make time for yourselves to enjoy and reconnect. It is time to ask for some help. See if grandma/grandpa or aunt/uncle would be willing to step in and keep the little ones for a couple of nights and the two of you just get away. As for the counsling, it never hurts to have someone be the mediator. You have both been through a stressful period. If she thinks that is the way for you to get back to the way things were then give it a shot. Don't close her down and certainly don't put your emotions on a shelf.