Tell Her or Let other people tell her?

Japan
June 25, 2010 6:03pm CST
Hi to all mylotters, I am seeking some opinion or advice about how tell the truth to my friend. Here is the story, she was my friend since high school and most of our friends keep telling me to tell here that she had a bad body odor, I understand that my other friends doesn't want to hurt her feelings telling her that she has that kinna rotten onion smell that's why they always ask me to do it,but me either doesn't want to tell her coz I might hurt her. I am going on vacation next month too meet my old friends,nowadays we been talking online and calling each other on the phone and they keep asking me to tell our friend about it and I didn't promises anything to them that I'm going to. But I was thinking,how to tell my friend that she has bad body odor without hurting her feeling? grrrrr.. I can't sleep..help please mylot:(
4 people like this
11 responses
@gerry101 (230)
• Philippines
25 Jun 10
Why not give her give her body spray for a gift? If I have a friend who has that problem, I might have the same problem as you. I will be to scared to tell her about her odor so what I would do is bring her to the mall and buy her some cologne that she really like or body spray as a gift. Add a bath of soap as well. Unless your friend is type of person who does not get offended easily you can tell her gently.
1 person likes this
• Japan
26 Jun 10
haha I know right? We've done that before too. But maybe she just don't get it why most of us always give her perfume, body wash, lotion and some girls stuff we use to make ourselves smell good:) She is soooo sensitive and hard tell some stuff like that to her but I don't know why she don't get it tho;-)
1 person likes this
• India
26 Jun 10
giving a body spray will be like telling it right on her face that u stink.dont ever dare do that. rather tell her nicely the truth it will not hurt her and neither the friendship believe me
@emjsar15 (141)
• Philippines
25 Jun 10
Hi!I understand your feelings, but how can you prove to him/her that he is your friend. If you will not tell him about his problem and he didn't notice that the people are laughing and talking about him behind his back, do you think you are not one of them? Sometimes telling the truth about one's good really helps even it means hurting him. But i do hope that after realizing what you said to him, he will thank you for what you did and by that i'm sure he will improve his personal hygiene.
• Japan
26 Jun 10
You made a good point. Yes I do I mean laugh with my friends about it too. But we are all concern also,she's pretty but her body odor is just a big time turn of for a guy:)) I hope this time I can tell her since we are all grown up. I can't wait now and I do really wanna help her to improve her personal hygiene.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
26 Jun 10
so many ways to do it without hurting her. You can tell nicely that because you care for her, you need to tell this and that; I'm sure she ill understand that. You can also tell her by way of asking what perfume does she like, what are the things she doesn't like until you will shift to that topic. You can play with it... Believe me, I experience it and I was so happy that I was able to help here over her BO... Just be gentle in telling her.
• Japan
26 Jun 10
Thanks for the advice. I probably do that way and besides I don't wanna hurt her feeling and hate me forever.
@maean_19 (4663)
• Philippines
26 Jun 10
That is really tough, but true friends should be the first one to tell the truth. If you are a true friend, then you can tell her about it even if t may hurt her. It will be more hurting if there will be other people to find it out and would go away from her because of her body odor. If you are concerned and you don't want that other people will go turned of to her, then take the initiative to tell her the truth. If I am your friend, I would be glad telling me that. Of course, I will be hurt at first, but I would be grateful and thankful for you when I realize that it is actually true.
• Japan
26 Jun 10
good point. Friends, true friends should be the one the tell the truth and concern about their friends. I hope it's not too late for me to tell her that. And I nothing will change in our friendship since we've been known each other since high school.
@Metatronik (5860)
• Pasay, Philippines
26 Jun 10
Seems like you are close to each other but still there are some actions in yours that you were like acquaintances or strangers. I am trying to put myself on your shoes and thinking how close you are for each other to the extent that you are comfortable that you can open up everything about yourselves. I think you must search some products or things to prevent her body odor because at the same time that you are going to tell her the truth about her body odor at least you are willing to help her as a friend to decrease her body odor. I know it is not that easy to open up even though the two of you are friends. But of course she needs to feel your sincerity at the same time to the extent that she won't really feel that you are just insulting her.
• Japan
26 Jun 10
Exactly. But incase that she will going to hate me after telling her it's ok I will accept it and just tell my self I somehow help her. I do have some products now to give her next month but at the same time I will probably tell her about her personal hygiene.
• India
26 Jun 10
I think you should be careful about telling her. You are her best friend and she trusts you since you have been friends from a very long time. It's just a matter of time. If someone else tells her then she might feel bad but if you do tell then she might consider you because your her friend. That's the only way and you better gather some courage if you have to because sooner or later if you don't do someone else is gonna break it to her and then you would be feeling much worse.
• Japan
26 Jun 10
I know right? I'm just kinda scared that she might get mad at me and forget me as her friend. After a long long sleep I had today I decided to tell her and I even called my others friends about it:)
@Cutie18f (9566)
• Philippines
25 Jun 10
I think it is okey to tell her but in a very nice way. She should be thankful that you told her and that she can actually help herself buy simply buying a stick of deodorant to remove the stink. I suggest that you tell her. It is perfectly okay.
• Japan
25 Jun 10
I was thinking about that too:) I think it would be great if I tell her but I'm thinking about what would be the first step? grrrrr... I'm thinking thinking
@abj163 (1038)
• India
26 Jun 10
i think you must not tell her because it will hurt her so much even if you tells her very nicely....i think she is knowing this already from her family member or someone else....suppose that she dont know this then why should hurt her...just keep going as like u kept going in the past.....just relax and dont tell her ....whats the need to tell her.....people just tells you anything and its not compulsory that we must do what they said to us.....i think your friendship will get less strength if u say her this odor matter
@srganesh (6349)
• India
26 Jun 10
Does she really smell like a rotten onion? How did you tolerate her so far from the high school? In this mean time shouldn't she learn by herself by others gestures when they happen to be near her. A friend may not like to hurt her. But a stranger in a bus or in any crowd should have told her, how she stinks. It is not too late for you to open up this topic and advice her to meet a skin specialist.
• Philippines
26 Jun 10
I guess you have to tell her, just the two of you in a very humble way, and there is no way that he won't be ashamed or feel shy in front of you. She's your friend a simple hug after telling her that will be enough to comfort her and a big gesture that it doesn't change what you think about her. Your still bestfriends. God bless.
• Philippines
26 Jun 10
Hi. Do you know that there's a site where you can send an email without revealing your identity? In this site, you can freely say everything you want to your friend and she will never have an idea who you are. Check this out: www.anonymousfeedback.net Goodluck!