Should I continue friendship after being denied dating?

United States
June 29, 2010 1:37am CST
Hi, Recently I asked out a good friend about taking our friendship to the next level and possibly dating. I was turned down in a non-offensive way because my friend didn't see it becoming positive in the future. My question is should I continue friendship? We both like each other company, but I also think it will be weird. Should we hang out on weekends or not? One part of me doesn't want to loose a friend and other part is too scared about getting hurt. Please help. Thanks in advance.
2 people like this
9 responses
@Joshuael (109)
• China
29 Jun 10
If a tree cannot grow fast as you expects,you cannot pull it up or cut it down. If the tree will never grow up as tall as you expect,you can find another tree to water.And let the former tree grow anyway it like. I mean,you needn't abandon the friendship,even if you decide to find new relationship with another one. Let it be natural.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Jun 10
Thanks!
1 person likes this
@Boyetski (989)
• Philippines
2 Jul 10
@Josh That is by far the wisest thing ive ever read today. I like how you see things that way.
@reckon21 (3487)
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
Don't be scared getting hurt because our life is like that. It is a normal thing in our lives. We must go through the pain because it's the only way to get stronger. You will be harden by the pain and you will emerged smarter than before. AS for the friendship don't let it suffer. You can still return to the way things before...just accept the fact that your friend is not meant for you. If you will accept is earlier then things will be much easier. You can still have your old friend and nothing will be lost or destroyed. Start looking for another person to love maybe the right one for you is just waiting in the corner.
• United States
29 Jun 10
Thank you. That helps.
• United States
29 Jun 10
Great minds think alike...I like the comment you just made and I agree with you.
• Portugal
3 Jul 10
i think you should continue his friend. Show him how sweet and caring you are. Maybe he refused being your bf bcs he was afraid your friendship was ruined but maybe if you continue hanging out with him he changes his mind. Go out with him bcs if you be away maybe some girl can appear in his life become his good friend and he can maybe like her. if you are near him at least you can know what is happening and dont lose hope completely. If he likes to hang out with you is bcs he likes you and maybe love can come sooner or later or maybe he loves you already and didnt find it out today. maybe you have a good surprise soon. can you tell me if a guy flirts with you how does he react? is he a bit bothered with it or is it ok with him? maybe this way you find out how he feels towards you^^
• United States
11 Jul 10
Thanks! I honestly doubt there is any surprise for me. But I'll continue being sweet and charming. I honestly can't force anyone to like me. As far as flirting goes nothing like that has happened during his presence. We have a common guy friend who he doesn't like. He always gets all curious and questioning when this common friend calls me.
• Philippines
2 Jul 10
you should continue your friendship with her. But try to differentiate your feelings, whether what you feel for her is just for friendship/ companionship or is it because you love her and you like her to be your girlfriend..
• United States
11 Jul 10
Thanks. You bring up a good point about differentiating the feeling. I am having a hard time doing that. I don't know what I feel is just out of friendship or something more than that. I expect to know his weekend plan or I expect him to tell me about his iphone. I guess that is normal for friendship correct? But again not knowing what he does bothers me a lot, so I don't know what to say differentiating the feelings.
• Philippines
29 Jun 10
I have also encountered that situation of yours in highschool but it seems our friendship is much stronger than love. She too didnt see it coming that im falling inlove for her so i ask her if i can cort her but i got denied and it hurts a lot and i cant look at her for a few days and we didnt even talk until i recovered.
• United States
29 Jun 10
Thank You.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
2 Jul 10
The right answer is yes, you should continue. Now being a HUMAN being I think its too difficult, I couldnt because my pride wouldnt allow me to be friends with the guy. But you will have to give sometime though, so you can heal and then really who knows, see the person as a friend.
@coffeeshot (3786)
• Australia
1 Jul 10
If you both really enjoy each other's company then you definitely should stay friends! There was a reason for you asking your friend out on a date and this is because you have a great friendship and enjoy each other's company. Things might be a little bit awkward after your friend said 'no' to dating so you should say something like "I do like you as more than a friend, but I understand that you don't want that. I'm cool with that- I just hope we can stay friends and keep hanging out". I have been asked on dates by two of my long-time friends in the past year. One of them has continued talking to me and we still hang out. The other one totally stopped talking to me! I don't know if it's because he is embarrassed, or upset or something else, but it's a real shame that he doesn't talk to me anymore. I hope you can continue your friendship with this person! Good luck!
@maean_19 (4662)
• Philippines
1 Jul 10
Of course you can continue the friendship even after being denied dating. Good relationships start from friendships. You'll never know, you will realize that you are better to be friends than lovers or the girl may fall for you eventually. Do not be scared because you ave good intentions anyway. As you said, you like each others' company which is an advantage. Just stay like that for now, good friends.
@Buckabee (15)
• United States
29 Jun 10
I will keep this simple....True friends hang in there no matter what. So if your really a friend to whom you ask, then you should still be a friend even though they are not confortable with dating you at this time. Who knows they might just be wanting to see how serious you really are and as the saying goes *NO PAIN NO GAIN* So fear not loosing but hold on to the friendship you have.