Would you have called the cops on your child?

United States
July 4, 2010 11:16pm CST
I never thought I would call the cops on my daughter but,I did. She was mad about my realtionship with one of her friends. She started going off and was going to take a bottle of pills. I stopped her and tried to calm her down but,could not. She started throwing things and waving a wooden object around in the air like she was going to hit someone. She broke loose from me and nika and punch kameca in the head. She then threated to jump off the top of this building which is ten stories high. She was screaming and crying saying I love her friend more than I love her. How could this be when she knows how spoiled rotten she is and I bend over backwards to please her. She has to go back on her meds or I will have her locked up. I can't live like this anymore. She is calm now after leaving the hospital.
4 people like this
20 responses
• Canada
5 Jul 10
In my opinion you did the appropriate thing. From what I can gather from your blurb about what took place your daughter was going to cause harm either to herself, or to someone else if the situation wasn't diffused quickly. Of course any parent is going feel some level of guilt associated with calling the authorities on our child in fear of being judged as bad parents by others. From what I gather she was on medications prior to this episode and if she stopped taking her medications as many teenagers with mental illness do and trust I know first hand... then what happened was quite likely a mental health crisis and the probably the smallest thing would have set it off and it took the relationship to set it off this time... seeing or at least hearing the behavior described it is my own personal opinion that you did the best thing that you could have done and managed in whatever way you could to get her to the hospital to be stabilized in a professional environment and get her back on track with her meds! I hope she is feeling better now and stays on her meds!!!!
1 person likes this
• Canada
5 Jul 10
Sometimes finding the right meds for that persons certain disorder can be difficult cause everyone reacts so differently to meds... as I said I really really hope things work out for your daughter... suffering from mental illness myself I know the stigma that she might feel it attached to it but once she accepts it and start doing the things needed to take care of herself she'll realize its really not the end of the world and things will really settle down!
@Hatley (155076)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Jul 10
hi giftsandbagscom oh my goodness this is for you like living close to a volcano just waiting for it to erupt.Poor you and poor her, what is wrong with her to act like this. I know you love her to pieces but somehow she has got things all twisted in her young mind. She is on meds for what? bi polar? sounds a like one who is bi polar. I remember awhile back when you were feeling so up because you and she were really getting alongso well. I was hoping maybe that would last with her.So the cops had you take her to the hospital or what? well all I can say is I am so sorry., all this on the Fourth of July when we Americans are celebrating. Is she possibly schiztophrenic that hits in the teens? I hope things can get settled down asI know thatcan not be good to live like that'Gifts.good luck glad we mylotters are here for you. maybe in some way we can help if nothing more than a shoulder to cry on, take care.
• United States
5 Jul 10
She has adhd and bi polar disorder and refused to take her meds. Now I am taking her back to the doctor to get on them or she has to go in the hospital. i have bi polar and take my meds daily she has to do the same or leave my home. She was doing so well till she got jealous of her friend loving me like a mom. But her mom is not as understanding as I am and her friend just needs love.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
5 Jul 10
Oh gifts.... you did the right thing! Don't second guess yourself because you have to protect yourself as well as her from herself. She's the child and you're the adult so you are the one in charge here and if you don't get control of your child, you have to call someone who can and will. Sometimes it takes extreme measures to get order restored and this is one of those times. You shouldn't have to live like this. Nobody should. Hopefully from here on out she'll stay calm and realize how stupid she acted and come to her senses. We can hope, can't we? Another thing, with you calling the cops on her doesn't mean you don't love your child, quite the contrary! Quite the contrary!
• United States
10 Jul 10
She called me a snitch and made me feel bad for this. I know I had to do what was needed at the time. She hit a child in here as well.
1 person likes this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
10 Jul 10
That's exactly what she wants! Don't give in to her wails. She wants to make you feel bad but do not give in! When she calls you a snitch, say "yup and I'll do it again if you get like that again." You have to show authority and if it means playing hard ball then so be it. She lives in YOUR house, not the other way around. Besides, it's your obligation to keep others safe too especially other children. She'll just have to get used to it or not. It's your way or the highway PERIOD.
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
5 Jul 10
No one ever thinks they will have to call the police on their child. In your case you did the right thing because you couldn't control her. I'm so sorry that you are going through all this with her. I guess you have to make sure she stays on her meds at all time. I will say a special pray for you and especially for your daughter.
• United States
5 Jul 10
I thank you so much for this. I am having a good day today. I am hoping all goes well with these new pills.
1 person likes this
@lelin1123 (15645)
• Puerto Rico
5 Jul 10
God Bless!
@Shar19 (8236)
• United States
8 Jul 10
Unfortunately she does all of that for attention. I don't understand why since you already give her so much attention. She really needs some serious mental help and yes I would have called the cops on her too.
• United States
10 Jul 10
She should never look for this kind of attention from me. I think it is the worst kind at that.
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
5 Jul 10
Hi Gifts, Under normal circumstances I would not call the cops on my daughter. Your daughter, however, has some issues and if she is threatening herself and others then yes...by all means call the cops. You are not doing it to be a jerk. You are doing it to protect her. I would have handled it as you did. Does she try to refuse her meds? I can't remember what you said her problem is. It sounds like bi-polar. I know people with mental illness and I have to say that a good amount of them do all they can to avoid those meds. From what I understand, it is difficult to find the right one that will help them while not turning them into a zombie at the same time.
• United States
5 Jul 10
That is why she does not want to take the meds. i am taking meds for the same bi polar disorder and mine work great. I will ask them if she can take what I am taking. She called me a snitch when I called the police but,I told her commiting these acts is not safe for anyone of us.
1 person likes this
@TheCatLady (4696)
• Israel
5 Aug 10
I know it's hard, but you have to 51-50 her if she is off her meds and out of control. If you didn't, she could have killed herself or someone. I'm sure once she is stable, she will understand that you had no choice.
@cream97 (29175)
• United States
10 Jul 10
Why is your daughter doing this to you and to herself? She knows that deep down you love her dearly. I can tell that you do. You worry about everything about her! She gives you grief and you still embrace her with love and kindness. Your daughter seems like she does not want you to love anyone else but you. And that is not fair to you at all. I am sorry that all of this went down like this. I know that you did not want to call the police on her, but you had to do so, to save her and her life! I am glad that she is okay. She really needs some mental help and prayer. I just hope that she will not hurt herself at all! I am so sorry that she is acting like this. I hope that she gets the help that she needs so that she can be a strong female. Calling the cops was not to get her into trouble, you did it before something bad would have ever happened. I know that it is sad, but that is what had to take place in order to get her to calm down. Your daughter does not need to be jealous of your love for others at all. If she could see how much I see that you love her, she will never feel any jealousy!
@whyaskq (7553)
• Singapore
7 Jul 10
Personally, I do think you are very brave to call the cops. Most parents would not be able to do such a thing no matter how bad the situation is. This itself may hurt the child even more. Your daughter may not be appreciate you now, but I am sure she will thank you one day. You are a great mother!
@dorannmwin (36608)
• United States
7 Jul 10
In a situation like that I believe that I would call the cops on one of my children. It wouldn't be because I wanted to punish my child, but it would be because I wanted to protect my child and I also wanted to protect the people around them. It is obvious that she was in a state of rage when this happened and being in that kind of a state isn't good for her and it certainly isn't good for others. You did the right thing, Mom.
@cripfemme (7719)
• United States
6 Jul 10
I hope your daughter is okay. I don't like medications to deal with mental health concerns, but it sounds like your daughter really needs it. I'm sure you work on other issues (like talk therapy) too.
@muskyo (8)
6 Jul 10
Have you considered that this could be a parenting problem on your part? If your daughter hasn't moved out yet and you're calling her spoiled rotten, you're underestimating how dependent her character is upon yours. More than likely there's something dysfunctional going on within the family and it wouldn't be correct to say that the child created it. As for her outbursts, nobody will ever be able to learn to express their emotions healthily if they feel that their parent is going to be that quick to assume that they need to be sent to a hospital or be locked up. That's completely invalidating to anything she's feeling. You may say she's spoiled but it sounds to me like that could only apply to material things. Before going to such extremes why don't you try calming her emotional rage instead with something like kickboxing or yoga?
5 Jul 10
Yea you have to do what you did if i was in your case i would have done the same thing, sometimes we love people so much we want to handle the situation but we can not because those people sometimes need a professionals help, is this the first time it happened?
• United States
5 Jul 10
You have to do what you feel is best for everyone's safety including hers! If she needs her meds to behave decently then so be it! Do what you feel is best and perhaps distance yourself a tad from her friend for a while.
@lilybug (21182)
• United States
5 Jul 10
I think in your situation you did the right thing. I would be getting her back on her meds right away if she is having violent outbursts like this.
@rosegardens (3044)
• United States
5 Jul 10
I sure would have done what you did. I am sorry you have to deal with this, and I hope that your daughter will be responsive to treatment and continue taking the meds. Is she also in counseling? Are you? It is good for both of you; you can learn skills to help her and of course the counselor can teach her skills to cope with her illness. Good luck, my prayers are with you.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
5 Jul 10
giftsandbagscom, Whether to call the police or not is solely your decision and even if you do have to call for them, I do not think you should feel any guilt or remorse for I am sure there must be valid and legitimate issues for it. However, as your posts have been vague with your daughter's issues that led to her outbursts I just do not think that her outbursts is solely due to her receiving no attention. If she needs her medications then I can assume that she is not receiving adequate treatments or that she may not be fit to stay with you, where she may have to be warded in a medical facility for proper observations and treatments. So, if you are ignorant or undermining the latter then I suppose you really have to recover from this mistake and do the necessary and appropriate for your troubled daughter.
@suehan1 (4356)
• Australia
5 Jul 10
Yes I would call the cops if my child was threatening to harm herself and other people.If they are that irrational you need some one to help calm her down . There is no reasoning with them when they get out of control like that. You did the right thing and hopefully one day she will understand that you have done all you could for her and spoilt her rotten.It is hard being a mother when they go off like that and it breaks your heart, but be strong you will get through this stage of their life. I have survived, but it has not been easy.
• Boston, Massachusetts
5 Jul 10
I am curious about the medication she’s into friend…Is she on therapy too? She needs professional intervention for such act. I am scared if time comes that she hurt herself too just to get your attention. It’s a pity to know that she still seeks for love, care and attention from you when you say that she’s having much of it from you! She needs your full support this time and be assured always of your affection. Please take extra care!
5 Jul 10
It is your duty as a parent to provide a safe and stable environment for your child. If she is behaiving in a manner which pouts her own safety in danger then it is also your duty to carry out any measures to protect her. With this in mind, cleary you was right to phone the police, best of luck to you