Worries over financial matters
July 5, 2010 3:41am CST
I have been married for almost two years. My husband was an ex military whom I asked not to go back to duty anymore as the work entails much danger to his life. At present, conflicts on discussions of finances come very often. Any tips on how to manage conflicts of such sorts?
5 Jul 10
That's one thing me and my husband also try to avoid. We dont wanna fight over money. The only solution I can think of to avoid those kinds of misunderstandings is that we should be aware about our finances. My husband has to know how much I earn, how much he earns and where our money goes. I include him in the budgeting. We go to the supermarket together so he will also have an idea about the prices of commodities. We also live within our means and avoid debts.
• United States
5 Jul 10
This is a very hard one, especially as most relationships get ruined when money becomes tight and the relationship can not handle the added stress. My BF and I kind of have a grasp on this, though there will be a time here and there were one of us might let it get to us, but all in all through 4 years of very limited income coming in we have managed to stay together and live in mostly peaceful harmony. 1st off neither one of us is the only bread winner, I think that when this is the case it gives the one that works the upperhand and because of it, they have more power over the person that does NOT work. A lot of time that person can get picked on a lot and having lived it with my ex husband this is not something I would ever repeat. So both he and I work, a bit here and there, not full time jobs but I have my child support and online income and he has his part time sales job. 2nd of all we take it as it is, and we live according to what we have. We KNOW how much money we have to live on and to spend and we stay on track with that. I know that he will provide all my daughter needs like clothing and shoes and an occasional toy and I would never ask for anything that is too expensive or that I know he simply can not afford. We go out a lot and we eat out a lot but its always to very affordable places. I guess lastly we just let it be, we live every single day as affordably as we can, with only the occasional splurge, like a trip to Disneyland once a year or things like that. We dont talk about money, he does what he needs to do with his money like take care of our daughters expenses and I do what I need to do with my share. We keep a perspective about how things are and hope that in the future we will have more money to spend but for now we are happy with what we have and we work with it.
5 Jul 10
well, this is a lot different from my case of married life. however, I could say that most couples experience a conflict on finances such as this. i think you just need to have an open communication with your husband. in my case, we only have one shared funds. meaning, he knows how much i'm earning, and vice versa, and he lets me budget the funds. i also make sure that he knows how much is our current debt (on credit card) and what need will get how much. you should also try to get his opinion on what ventures you want to explore in to have additional funds and try to let him become involved. in that case, you share the responsibility of trying to get additinal income. hope this helps.