Now I feel single life is better

@bhanusb (5709)
India
July 7, 2010 11:30am CST
I'm a married person. I love my wife and my child. Yet I feel single life is better. I have no freedom. Always I have to think about my family. I can't do anything which my wife does not like. Sometimes I feel I'm in a prison. I have to obey the rules of the jail. If I could be single I would be a free bird who can fly in the open sky. Now I'm in a caze. There is a saying in my country: "marrage is like a sweet. Who eat it repents and who does not eat that sweet also repents".
1 person likes this
12 responses
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
Marriage is a sentence...a Life sentence. But then again, there are also benefits of being so - admit it. Those matters you mentioned are I guess a part of that institution, a consequence that people who are in such situation has to accept - genuine acceptance is needed. Because if that negative feeling will continue, eventually, it will be ruined. So when times like this comes - you may divert your attention to looking at the brighter side and appreciate the Love that is still burning between you and your wife. Besides it was your choice right? Or somebody forced you? Peace and Love. Happy Mylotting!
• Philippines
7 Jul 10
Also if there are issues, its better to discuss them with your wife. Talk about it and resolve it. If freedom is lost, discuss it with her, everything. Communication is the key so issues are addressed :)
• United States
4 Sep 10
hi bhanusb, maybe you can talk to your wife and ask her to give you more freedom. she sounds like a really dominating person. if not, maybe you can find freedom in small ways, like going out with your friends, developing a hobby, or reading a book. it sounds like you are stuck in this marriage so its best that you find freedom in small ways so that it does not drive you crazy for many years on end.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
8 Sep 10
Hi kristin, do you think she will give me more freedom? I have to agitate to get freedom. In the mean time she has started to love me.
@ferry2046 (146)
• China
10 Jul 10
maybe you should have a deep talk with your wife.if you both all hide pains in the bottom of heart,one day,the anger and pains will break out and ruin your relationship and that time no effort can help.so just tell each other what you really think about.don't come to the day everything is too bad.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
13 Jul 10
I'm assuring you that I shall never play the final game. With all the odds I love my wife. Thanks for sharing.
@balaman (147)
• India
9 Jul 10
Cool down and never give up hope there is always light found at the end, take her out for an outing, spend lot time talk without arguing explain and express your self to her, same thing she will also explain her difficulties to you. At some point of discussion will realise her mistake for whatever she is upset. Accept and share her feelings whatever, make her happy patch up, she will change. OR inform your parents and their parents and ask them to advice her to set her right.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
13 Jul 10
I'm hopeful. I don't want to tag our parents in this matter. It's just my feelings.
• Philippines
8 Jul 10
I feel that way too, i am better off now that im single, i feel i have the freedom to do anything id like to do an dmuch that i vaue myself more, cause the time that i was in a relationhsip i feel im not happy at all, i was going crazy thinking whats he doing or who he was texting, i get tired chasing him and spying his facebook account but now i am totally releived, my attitude was like that because he really a womanizer maybe i was protecting my teritory so to speak, but now i realzed that i dont need to do that at all, i deserve someone better and i want to reserve myself to someone better.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
13 Jul 10
You have both way experience. So your judgment is from reality. I hope you will be able to find out a partner of your choice.
• India
8 Jul 10
You can think this in a positive manner,if you wouldnt had any wife and children,would you have been happy ever.......
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
13 Jul 10
May be.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
8 Jul 10
I am a married woman and I like to think that my husband does not feel as though he is living in a jail! I don’t constantly tell him what he should do and he treats me the same. Our marriage is a partnership and we come together but allow each other the freedom we need as well. I have my friends that I socialise with and he has his and of course we also socialise with friends as a couple. A relationship is supposed to be an enhancement to life, not a burden. It is commonly said that communication is the key; you have to express to your wife that you are unhappy and why and decide if you can work together to make it work or if you should indeed live a singe life. She may feel just as unhappy as you and may even welcome some changes, you’ll never know until you talk...
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
13 Jul 10
I'm so delighted that you are happy couple. I have no problem with my wife. Yet I feel some bindings. A single person is free. He or she can do anything what ever he or she likes. A married person can't do that. Thanks for sharing.
@ebuscat (5949)
• Philippines
8 Jul 10
For me yes because it is the way you must subject to each other if not then it can cause you of depression.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
12 Jul 10
There is a relation between oppressed and depressed.
@ketybhagat (4125)
• India
8 Jul 10
Hi bhanu, I finally managed to write a reply. My comp would just hang with this site only. I just hope this reply goes through. I missed you all. Well as regards your being single, life is a give and take. Yes, you may not do the things your wife does not like, but is it not so with her too ? Life has to go on with understanding on both sides, then alone can life be smooth. Had you not married, you would probably eating from hotels, not having a loving family and a companion for your old age, someone who is there with you for better or worse. I am sure there are many things you must have forbid her to do too, for w hich she has taken it philosophically. Do the same, be happy in her happiness and life will be smooth sailing. Good luck pal.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
11 Jul 10
Oh kety, you were missing for long time. At last I got you. Yes I agree life is give and take. Both husband and wife Have to compromise. I do that. She also. But my discussion was hypothetical. If I would be so. Do you not think sometime to be alone and fly like a free bird?
@vandana7 (66042)
• India
8 Jul 10
Welcome to the club. :)
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
8 Jul 10
Who is the President?
@savypat (20246)
• United States
7 Jul 10
Hubby and I have been married very long and we learned early to give each other space. He has his special times and friends and I have mine. This make for a much better marriage. Have this discussion with your wife and see what you can do.
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
12 Jul 10
You both are ideal couple. I envy you. Definitely I shall follow your advice. Thanks.
@kiran8 (15354)
• Mangalore, India
7 Jul 10
Hi bhanu, I feel sorry for you...It is not fair for anyone to be dominated by another person.This can happen to anyone , either a husband or wife or in other relationships too...I feel that you should have a talk with your wife and tell her about your feelings.Marriage should not make anyone feel so dejected and unhappy - take care and all the best bhanu
@bhanusb (5709)
• India
12 Jul 10
Hi kiran, thanks for your consolation. I confess that I have also tendency to dominate. But later I compromise. We are not so unhappy couple. My discussion was:'suppose it would be so'. Sometimes do you not want a binding free life?