another thing might wrong with me, but i dont want to tell my son

United States
July 8, 2010 7:23am CST
yeah as most know i am disable from having hurt my back due to a spinal cord injury and things just went down hills from there. between my whole spin is a mess and i just had to get an operation on my neck, got things that can make me stop walking and stuff well yesterday they called with my blood test, and now i have to get my liver check out, so i told my wife i need to stop going to the doctors for real. between keep finding things wrong me, i am sick of it. but i did get depress over it because i want to work. but yeah something else. but i told my wife i dont want our son to know because of things been going on. she wants me to tell him or she wants to let him. i was like no because if he cant bring the grandkids over now and if something is wrong with my liver like what my mom had, then he start then it will be out of pitty and not for the right reasons. my wife wants me to have to go therpty with me once so i can tell him once again just how i feel about him and his wife, and about him hanging out with the jerk who tried to rape my daughter and his sister. i told my wife no, nothing will change at all. i am done trying. i will not tell him if i have something serouisly wrong with me, and i dont want you or anyone else say anything to him. do you think i am right ?
3 responses
• United States
8 Jul 10
Sounds as if you are ready to write your son completely out of your life. If this is so, make sure that you are ready to write the grandkids out also. To me your wife sounds like she is trying to help you reconnect by suggesting that you go to therapy to get these feelings out in the open. But remember if you choose to do the therapy it can not be confrontational if you expect to have anything change. And from your words it sounds as if you are not ready to move on. Sometimes children say/do thing that are very hurtful and uncalled for. Even though you son sounds as if he should be old enough to know better it sometimes takes longer for some kids to mature. He should know that you are not well and then leave it up to him to make his ammends. You can't make him change his ways but sometimes knowing an impending situation will cause a person to change their ways. Best of luck to you. Hope all turns out to be ok.
• United States
8 Jul 10
ive express himself to him, and its i am sorry you feel that way. he claims they dont come over here because for one our house is too small for the boys to play. everyone else never had this issue, then its because of his grandmom cant do the stairs to use the bathroom, my thing is then he should come with the boys alone. every excuses there is seem to be bull. we live less then 15 min away, we saw our grandkids two time this year. and it wasnt here at our house. and the funny thing is his wife used to lived next door to us and then it was good enough for them to have people over to thier house, but since her rich uncle got them a house its different. and if i tell him and there is something serouisly wrong with my liver, yeah he might start bringing the gandkids around but it shouldnt be for that reason. so yeah i am cold hearted and yeah he can live with regrets.
• United States
8 Jul 10
Maybe you should try meeting with him on neutral ground, not your house or his house, but in a park or something. Tell him you need to talk to him and him alone, you certainly don't need everyone there in your business. I am not concerned about his regrets but the pain that I hear coming from your words is what is disturbing to me. I hope that you find a way to heal this relationship as the stress that this is putting on you is not good for your health. Look out for yourself, and if this means cutting the ties with your son, then that is what it will have to be.
@JenInTN (27565)
• United States
11 Jul 10
I understand why you wouldn't want to tell your son under the circumstances BUT...lol...there is always a but isn't there...hehe....I would because of the grandkids. So what if he brings them over for the wrong reasons? It wouldn't be about him and why he did it...it would be to spend some times with them. I know you want too. Especially if there is something wrong with your liver. Just something to think about. I do know you've went through hell with the family situation and I don't blame you for feeling the way you do.
• United States
11 Jul 10
that what i told my wife, if it is something serouis and he just start bring the kids around its for all the wrong reasons. and it shouldnt be for that reason. he should have been bring them over here anyways. i also told my wife if i have to be in the hostpilo i dont want him to come and see me at all. because of all this crap that's been going on for years. how he just canceal us out and seem like he dont care. my wife wants me to take him to therpy with me and i told her. me expressing to him once again how i feel about the grandkids, his wife how it seem like she been disrespecting us, and the thing about what that dude did, and my making excuses up for him and listening to his lies. and not beliving my daughter. nope its no damn good so the hell with him
• Australia
8 Jul 10
This is a bit of a sticky one...firtly I hope there is nothing seriously wrong with you...I can see where you are coming from & understand why you don't want your son to know becase you don't want pity...no one wants pity, we all just want to be treated with dignity & respect no matter what...on the other hand, having a parent myself who had cancer, I can also see that no matter what has happened between you & your son in the past, he would want to know if something is wrong. I am not going to say you're right or you're wrong in this situation...in the end if you don't want to tell your son, that's up to you & very understandable...on the other hand, if you do tell your son, tell him at the same time that you don't want his pity under any circumstances. I know I probably haven't helped you much but I hope I have brought in an unbiased light on the matter.