Why Do Break-Ups Hurt So Much?

India
July 10, 2010 7:11am CST
The loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard and you will suffer so much.As per my opinion it is normal, because humans have Emotions and Feelings. A break up changes your relationship with anybody whether you want it to or not. A break up may change your life, but You just need to Control your feelings and emotion, that is my personal opinion! what do you think?
3 people like this
14 responses
• Malaysia
10 Jul 10
The loss of a relationship can be incredibly hard. We can feel so much pain. There's not only the grief from losing someone important in our life, but the pain of seeing our hopes and dreams of a future life together dissapear as well. Sometimes this is a hardest part - having to totally readjust our view of how we saw our life unfolding in the next few years.
1 person likes this
@babymc23 (153)
• Philippines
10 Jul 10
I agree. I am the type of person that only gets into a relationship that is for keeps. I wanted my first boyfriend to be my husband as well. Quite old-fashioned right? Sadly my first relationship did not work out. I guess we were both immature at that time. The sad part is, we never really discussed what happened. We just sort of drifted apart. It actually took me a couple of weeks to stop pining for him and more or less 4 years to get over him. You can feel pain if you really loved that person. Getting over that person is gonna take some time and healing.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
10 Jul 10
Hi Albert: I understand why you say that. It's normal that we make plans and that we want to chose a person that would be the one just for us, that's very human and natural to all of us. A person we love could represent a lot of things for us and there's also the good memories that we have passed with that person too. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
10 Jul 10
Any breakup would hurt because that's not what you want to in the first place when you decide to get involved. The more emotionally involved you are the worse it would hurt. Such pain does not heal easily. It may take a lifetime. Non-physical it may look though but it is often manifested in how horrible, how messy, how untidy, how unfocused...you would look like. Surviving such an ordeal, on the other hand is not impossible either as many have proved. And these are the men and women who, despite facing some of the worst life's challenges, have managed to regain control of themselves and their lives. I salute them!
• Mexico
10 Jul 10
Hi tomi tomi: I think it must hard. I feel really depressed when one of my best freinds, that I secretely love her makes something really bad to me and we stop being friedns. I felt betrayed with her and it took a process to pass through this situation. The fact that your relationship would be closer makes it harder but people can survive after this and learn something for their lives. I agree that it's better to love and lost than never love at all. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
11 Jul 10
I agree with you Alvaro! The fact that you have loved and lost than never loved at all makes you a learned man. That helps in coping with life. Thanks and have a nice day too!
• United Arab Emirates
10 Jul 10
Breaking up realations does hurt us. When we are attached to a person, we think a lot bout him / her. We have lots of dreams, we think of making ourslves happy lokking at that person. We also fee that this person is a part of us. We think everyday in the dremas, while we walk or talk, this person becomes a part of our life and body. Like if a part of the body is taken away it hurts...in the similar manner it hurts when we break up.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
10 Jul 10
Hi edward joy: I like your metaphore. I think this perfectly express the way we feel after passing through a situation like this. Unfortunetly human beings are not like part of our own body. They can be here with you but they are free to leave you. We have to trust in the ones we love but sometimes we just have to let them go . Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
• Philippines
11 Jul 10
but i believe that pain in the heart heals longer than the physical pain, depends on how the relationship goes. what ever happens this person becomes part of your life and memory. the hard thing is to let go and move on a lot are afraid but if one of the other has moved on, the other suffers and takes time to move on as well.
• India
10 Jul 10
Breaks up hurts so much because those are heart to heart relations which cannot be forgotten. They remain in the heart forever and ever. Do what ever you will not be able to forget them, Recently my friend broke up, for a week he was very tensed and was totally out of control, the reason for their break up was that the guy was not capable of handling things. After coming out of the loneliness he began with this duties and performed then in an excellent way. Now the girl realizes that her taught was wrong and this proved her that her taught process was not good. I agree that when it breaks up it hurts but when you realize the truth then none can help you out in any sought of matter. Here is a advice Never hide things with your partner be truthful then there will never be breaks ups nor there will be misunderstanding.
1 person likes this
• Mexico
10 Jul 10
Hi shankar baddi: Thanks for your last advice. I think that even if you caqn't be 100% sure that things are going to be ok, if you are honest with your partner and both work together to understand each other there are a lot of possibilities to make things work just nice. Thanks for your answer. Have a nice day. ALVARO.
• Mexico
10 Jul 10
Hi Crazy Poster: I think that a break up it's hard for us because we usually don't expect that a situation like this happends in our lifes and we have to remember that when there's love there's a little bit of hope so people always think that they are going to find a solution. It's difficult to be prepared for a break up. You actually makes me remember an excellent video of Queen Madonna: The Power of Goodbye. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=woZQj5pOkzs Thanks for asking us this question. Have a nice day. ALVARO
@tomitomi (5441)
• Singapore
11 Jul 10
Nice song by Madonna. There is always something to learn from. Thanks for the link!
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
of course, once you are in relationship they become a part of you life. When the relationship ended, you are not the same anymore, because the things you used to do before will not be happening unless you decided to come back on each others arms. Acceptance is the key and you have to grow with every relationship you had. It is not like when someone broke up with you, it is like the end of the world. Something is closing , for something to open up. It is just hurt because you both have to move on, and live a life without each other. And all your promises and dreams turns to sand in the beach being moved by the sea.
@ifa225 (11098)
• Indonesia
13 Jul 10
i just thinking i shouldn't mess my life with another break up again...it was killing me and i can't help my self
@sweetbit (75)
• Philippines
11 Jul 10
Hi Crazy_Poster!! I have had 3 major break ups. All three were really heart wrenching. You are correct that it can change your life, be it for the best or for the worst. And I have also witnessed my friends go through this kind of difficult time in their lives, and it is not a pretty sight to see. Break ups take a toll on lives. Sometimes on the verge of making things worse for person broken up from. It is never easy dealing with it. You started and ended your day with the person whom you learned to trust and love. Then suddenly everything changes. This is where everything starts to crumble for you. It is when you realize you can never get it back to the way it was used to the part which hurts the most. But there also is a bright side to break ups. It teaches you to learn from mistakes; it widens your understanding as to the reason this happened to you; and makes you more confident for future relationships wherein you would eventually know what you want and need in a relationship; also it will give you time to improve on yourself. That is how I perceive a break up in my life. Good Day!!
• Philippines
11 Jul 10
Hello dancing spidee, well, for one thing, it's not easy to control ones feelings when everything that you both dreamed for has been shattered by the break up. there are many reasons for the break up, but some do it in a mutual feeling or decision in order not to complicate things like career or school. but you know, the best break up is when you both know it ain't gonna work out and it's not the right time. there's a saying, either there is some one better or Love is sweetier the second time around.
11 Jul 10
It's usualyncause u actualy like the perso you wher in a relationship with I no I have been I quite a few hurtful relationships myself but it all gets better in the long run , like lautzu one said "the hourly of a thousand miles begins with a single step" and that step is well a break up
@rosebinas (181)
• Philippines
11 Jul 10
I believe it is the attachment that has gone too deep already that makes it all the more painful to part ways with someone you have fallen so much in love with. Emotional pains are immeasurable!
@zed_k4 (17627)
• Singapore
11 Jul 10
For me, I think it hurts because there are emotions involved.. issues like feeling love and all that and suddenly, the love is being cut short. So that would hurt and some relationships have been going on for months or years, so it's definitely going to have a bit of an impact on the ones feeling them. But they can be healed with time, for sure..
@Wabuge (45)
• Kenya
10 Jul 10
Hi Pal' am sure what you have just posted here will help many people as we all have been in love and got hurt or hurt others or we are still oin our first relationships yet to any breakups. i was in a long relationship of around 4 years to a girl i really loved. at one time i knew this was a perfect relationship and just we were abuot to finish high school something happened and i came to knew of it later after highschool when the outcome of what had happened couldn't be hid any longer. it was the most painfull experience in my life as i had lost someone i thought i could even marry later on in life. it took me long to digest what had happened asking retorical questions as to why it had to happen...!it took me around 3 years to get over with it. i chose to keep quite abut it and that is the most dangerous thing to do..! we should share it out and tell of our experiences in order to heal much faster. although now am okey for a few seconds a week i do smile back of this person who shared her love with me no matter what. Thanks!
@thanks1961 (7046)
• India
10 Jul 10
Experience teach us a lot of things. Upto a certain extent, you are right. Relationships are of various types. Starts with love relationships, frienships, husband wife, etc. All are sensitive by its own mood and intensity. The feel and reflection also will change as per the digree of relationship. If you value other persons relationship with a degree of 80% and other persons measures you with 30%, see the mismatch and until a 50-50 ratio is not maintained, the result will be somewhat look like the way you predicted. But there are occastion become blessings also. In the last 6 months, I purposively moved away from a relationship. The other part was well and good and I realised that the other person was just exploiting the situations and not having a mental insertion in the relationship. Only for exploiting. I mean to say they are just using us for their requirements and if we are in need of their openmindedness, they will look for someone else. In such case, the break up is a must and better to look for some good friends. (This is mentioned only on a case of just friendship, nothing else). Regards, Thank-s