My problem is my cousin doesn't have any problem

By eM
@eLsMarie (4148)
Philippines
July 13, 2010 8:09am CST
It's weird but that's the way she is. She's a happy go lucky person. She parties all night and she gets to meet a lot of men. She's only seventeen and it's very alarming because it seems that she's too happy that she fails to find her goal in life. She no longer goes to school though she belongs to a wealthy family. I don't know how to deal with her since her parents can't stop her already.
4 people like this
16 responses
@meirhu (367)
• Israel
13 Jul 10
ANOTHER example of how we DON'T know how to educate. Going to parties and being promiscuous with men is not something we can control because it's FORBIDDEN. When will we learn how to EDUCATE in THAT direction so that it won't be tempting at all. We have soooo much to learn. I don't know what to do about your cousin. It will take us thousands of years for us to learn how to educate. Would you like me to talk to your cousin ?
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I don't want to disturb you. Anyways, she'll just be angry at me meirhu. Thanks for your concern but I don't really want you to feel bad.
• China
13 Jul 10
You are right! Experience from life will always be the best remedy for our stupid character.Perhaps you can show her some examples about someone's unsuccessful life because of their wasting life time stupidly.Things like that are always seen around us,right?
@meirhu (367)
• Israel
13 Jul 10
Good idea. However I see so many screwed up lives and I'm not at all certain that the worst ones are with people that acted like her when they were young. Tell me. How many "successful" lives do YOU know ? I'm not talking about success financially. Finances are EASIER to handle than personal relationships. What I see around me is a growing population of people who just don't know how to handle their personal lives - as teenagers and also as adults. I think that something should be DONE about this and the sooner we start the better. That's why I have initiated a "School of Love" and a "Temple of Love"
@LadyDD (519)
• Romania
13 Jul 10
Seventeen is a very young age. It is normal to have no problems at this age and be happy because you don't have what to worry about. I suppose her parents give her pocket money and so on. If she hadn't the money I think she will start to think how to make money. And to make money you need to learn and go to school. In most cases education is to blame. Drastic measures work very well in such cases, but the parents must be aware of that. Teenagers are difficult persons in general. If they don't have a guide or an idol in life they are lost. Take care!
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Her parents were force to give her money because she'll get angry if she won't be given. She does not want to receive less, she'll always crave for more. I guess she was the one spending drinks and all for her friends.
@LadyDD (519)
• Romania
16 Jul 10
Then I think a specialist such as a psychiatrist must be consulted or maybe there are helping groups such as for addicted persons. It's a serious problem that must be solved in a way. It is a very important age in life and on it depends the future development of the teenager.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
I don't think that her parents would agree to this kind of thing. If I were her mother, I would push through of sending her to rehab, but the problem is I'm just her cousin.
• China
13 Jul 10
That is dagerous for her , if she still keep this life . Why not try to learn what is her thoughts and what is her want . If you find out her thoughts , therefore you can help her to solve her complicated problem . So I think the first important thing is to learn her heart .
• Portugal
13 Jul 10
yes i agree with you^^ ellsmarie should talk with her cousin too and try to know why she is in that life so much why she just go party and party. that way she can help her better^^
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
My life's not really that beautiful yet it's that worst either. I've decided to stay away from my old friends because of their bad habits and now, my cousin's turning to be like them. I can't stay away from her.
@AmbiePam (50265)
• United States
17 Jul 10
I wonder if she parties like that because deep inside she isn't so happy. But perhaps she really is. However, if she keeps this up, she won't be happy long. One doesn't live like that forever and escape without repercussions.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
I admit that at some point, I have tolerated her actions. I know that she's already wasted but I didn't inform her parents. I thought that she'd change. It started with just small acts like drinking a bit until it get worse.
@dsrp82 (678)
• Brazil
14 Jul 10
She's happy now, but I think she'll regret when she grows older.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Yes extremely very happy now. I can see to how she have sacrifice her future over her friends.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
14 Jul 10
Hi Marie... These days the young kids tend to be like that... They are happy with non-creative life... They indulge in things and feel that they have won everything and experienced all the pain... But later, they understand that their pain in the teens was nothing... The real life starts when one starts working for money... And that is when one understands what is pain.. I advise to control your cousin by some means... Of course, there should be a way out of it... Let us save a kid from getting spoiled...
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Her parents can no longer save her. It's so sad that we already ran out of ways to help or make her realize that life isn't always about having fun.
@Bhadine (144)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
If her parents can no longer control her, then it means that you cannot stop her either. Your worries will be useless. She is not your responsibility. After all, everybody has given her advices on how she should live her life. It is now up to her how she carry her life. Experience is the best teacher. Let her realize by herself that life is not what she is thinking. When the time comes that she finally open her eyes, she will heartily change her life. If ever she fails, she could not blame any one but herself. Then make her feel that she always has a family to turn to when everything went wrong.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
I understand Bhadine... I guess I have to isolate myself from her and to her problems in life if she has.
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
I think you already did your part. Its up to her if she will listen or not. Let her realize her own fault, how she wated here life. There is nothing you can do about this for she is wealthy. I think should pray to God now and help you to help her change, for only God can change her.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Okay stefanisaiah. I wish she'll realize in time. I don't her to end up like her sister.
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
14 Jul 10
It's normal to worry about her, cause she's a family. Maybe she's just enjoying her life to the fullest or in her case enjoying it too much. Apparently you've already identified the problem, cause the way your cousin is living her life affects other factors that is important (supposed to be) to her like her EDUCATION. But if her parents can't control her anymore what else could you do about it. If I may asked, is she disturbing or bothering you in a way that causes you any harm or your just worried for her sake? Cause the way I see it, in order for her to behave you and her family must seek professional help. Maybe they could give answers to your cousin's condition and most probably they could help her get back on track and find her goals in life. They could also make your cousin realize that their is a problem and help her identify it and come up with some solutions. If your cousin won't participate then your efforts to help her won't be as successful as you wanted it to be. Godbless.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
She's not really bothering me literally but I get distracted by the way she treats everybody in their house. She looks like a celebrity who got frustrated because she's so popular and all that she couldn't have the privacy that she wanted.
• United States
13 Jul 10
I understand your concern,but really this is her mother and fathers problem.I wouldn't let yourself get all frustrated and down because of what she has become,or what has became of her life. If she really wants it she will go and get it.I'm sorry but I firmly believe that you cannot help someone who doesn't want help.Sometimes it takes for that person to hit rock bottum before they even realize what they are doing has got to stop.Also her parents need to stop supplying her with money,then she will not have money to go and party every night.She will be forced to get a job..
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Maybe I just care for her and to her parents. Their family were so good to us unfortunately, there are already changes that we can no longer control.
• China
13 Jul 10
I can't image my life without goal or dream need to be accomplished by myself.It is too horrible that I have nothing pride that I can flaunt to my grandchildren when I have been old. My goal always brings me energy and helps me to get rid of sense of emptiness. You cousin is still in her rebel period of time and have no correct philosophy,preaching from others maybe doesn't take any effect on her now.I believe she will soon realize that she is just wasting time along with her mature.Although she is wealthy,that does't mean what she has had is won by her own efforts.And I turst that a person with a bad habit on estate will result in failure in the future regardless of his or her richness previously.Whether you are rich or not,postive attitude is the most paramount factor.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Thanks much for thoughts smallsaozhou. I will pray for her. This isn't the life that her parents want her to experience.
• Portugal
13 Jul 10
well i dont know you should try to talk with her and tell her to dont leave school so soon :( she is only 17 and studies are also important to find a good job. she cant party always is good that she party and meet guys but she is just 17 i mean she cant party everyday she needs also some responsabilities in her life or how can she live on her own one day? i mean live independent. you are sweet worrying with her and try to talk with her and with your uncle and your aunt they have to do something^^
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Her older sister had this experience before. From the time that she found out that her sister was pregnant and decided to be with the guy, she started destroying herself. She blame her parents for being so strict but they were not. I don't understand her.
@elvieb02 (696)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
just let her be and she will learn her lessons in time. all you can do is pray for her that she will realize that she must change her outlook in life before everything will be late.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I find it impossible because it seems that we don't have any time to have some chitchats. She's busy with her life and I am too.
@jerikjames (1045)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I know you're only a concerned cousin and I think I would also feel that way should my cousin be like yours. But you're right, she's only seventeen. She's very young and she has every option what to do with her life right now. As much as you would like to help her, I don't think stopping her from what she's doing is the way to go. I think she would feel offended if that would be your way of caring. I suggest you just let her do what wants to do. Experience is the best teacher right? Let her experience pain and failure. I believe only through experiencing them will she be able to learn what she's missing and what she should do with her life. =)
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I'm just afraid afraid that she'll only realize it during the time when it's already too late. I can't afford seeing her suffer.
@vhings_88 (294)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I think you can't stop her, even her parents couldn't. People with this kind of attitude is not easy to deal with. The more you reprimand them, the more they become rebellious. They do not listen to you at all. I know how you feel because i have also a friend with the same situation.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
How was your friend now?
@hanah87 (1846)
• Malaysia
13 Jul 10
Maybe you can discuss with her and tell her the truth about her bad life.I believe one day she will wake up from her dream.I hope you do not give up and always give her a warning because i scared she will get bad implication if people ignore her attitude.
@eLsMarie (4148)
• Philippines
13 Jul 10
I would want to talk to one of her friends because I think she'll listen more to them unfortunately, no one of her friends is willing to help me.