He Still Wants ME

Philippines
July 15, 2010 1:07pm CST
My husband and daughter came home on the 14th as expected. They stayed in the province for 5 days.He planted a kiss on my shoulder when they came. We spend the not talking that much, though. This morning he woke up early and when my kids were all awake he kissed them but ignored me. Well, I was so used to it but to my surprise he started kissing me... He wanted to do it with me... I am as bewildered as I was before. This is not easy. Plus, it seems that he is more cooperative and helpful today. Helping me with the kids and chores. Plus, he went to bed as early as 9 pm. I don't know what he is thinking... and I'm not comfortable. Guys, help!!!!
9 responses
• United Arab Emirates
15 Jul 10
Hi...i dont know what went wrong between you guys. But i just wanna ask you??? Will you give him another chance if he would ask you. I definately will. I think he misses the days when you used to be in his arms. Its obvious to feel unconfortable when you dont love someone. I will definately give myself to my wife if she behaves like this with me after we fight or had an arguement.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
20 Jul 10
Hi! I saw it (this post)late. I think there is nothing wrong if your husband kissed you and showed his affection towards you. May be, it was the result of separation and he would have missed you, when he was away from you. You need to take it easy and should not take it otherwise, hope things are better and cooler now?
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
22 Jul 10
Hope for the best and if you feel that your should not bring up/broach this issue, you may not.My best wishes are with you Eureka!
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
I don't know, dear. Despite of all the things he is showing, I'm still doubting if he really cares. Sometimes, he seems appear to really care but some other time, he seems not... But, I'm not saying anything to him nor bringing up the subject to him. I just let things happen as they are intended to be... I hope I can say YES to your question, Deepak.... Do take care always, my dear...
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
Well, my mom used to tell me that her relationship with my dad continued unabated despite their differing personalities/beliefs and the distance (my father's job takes him all over the country) because they were lucky in that, even if one of them stops being in love, there is always a surge of it on the other. Not the passion per se, but just that feeling of warmth that we classify as love. Staying too long together can really test people's bonds, and my mother said that it was lucky that one of them always finds themselves rediscovering that love just as the other experiences the opposite, so there is always someone in the relationship keeping the marriage going. Perhaps that is what is happening to your husband right now. You two have reached the point in time when the passion cools down into companionship that is characteristic of marriages (after - what was it? - the first four years or so, I think) so your routine has become by rote. But maybe he's feeling that passion rekindling all over again and why he's acting the way he is. I think it's a good thing. It's weird for you because he's acting differently, right? But unless he's feeling guilty about something and covering that up by being ultra-sweet to you (which, hopefully is not the case), I think the fact that he's being sweet is good for your relationship. Maybe just go with the flow? Isn't it nice to have some surprise pampering? :D
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
Your parents were lucky that no one really tried to give up on each other. But, in my husband and my case, there were so many times I tried to give up on him. Our relationship has been in a roller coaster and it seems that it is going nowhere... Yup, I'm letting things as they are.Whatever his intentions are, only God knows...
@limlobin (103)
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
People learn through passage of time. We are not perfect, and time gives us a chance to gain wisdom or better understanding. With that in point, God Willing your husband is now having a change of heart. He may not be vocal about it, most people aren't anyway. Try to encourage this positive change in him without being too obvious. For sure he is still prideful to ask help directly from you. Give him the benefit of the doubt, have faith and hope that he is really changing for the better. Godspeed to you and your family.
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
I'm always saying a silent prayer that he'd put our family together... And that he'd be the husband I so long to have and the father to my kids (the latter, I have no doubts, though). Only God knows what he is thinking and feeling... Thank you for sharing your candid thoughts, Limlobin.;-)
• United States
15 Jul 10
eurekafemme dear you need to be asking your husband what exactly he is thinking, before ten or twenty years go by or even one more day and he says I want out. Or you become so bitter with your life. Honey, you are both in this together, we are not here to judge, not in the least. Please wait until the children are in bed and ask your husband what is wrong with the relationship. A man does not like when a woman points out; you, you, you. So use both the relationship. Ask him hon, do not continue to be sadden by this as when you both married you were suppose to be there for better or for worse. A piece of advise also, if after the children are in bed and you want to discuss this with your hubby and he gives you fifty excuses about he tired, it was a long day or that he is tired. Then tell him you need to set a date and time, much like an appointment as you and he need to discuss the marriage. However, you must be prepared for the outcome. I will pray that you and he can resolved this. Good luck!
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
Hi there, Girl.;-) Before I posted this as discussion, I already posted so many related to my relationships and how my husband is behaving. In a nutshell, even if I'll ask him in the most subtle way, he will not tell me anything. There was a time I asked him if he had a change of heart, he said, he felt the same, so I did not believe him. Then, he told me " What do you want me to do? Open my heart so you will know what's inside?" It was a stupid way of trying to convince me. I'm telling you this because talking isn't going to work with him. he'd rather kept his thoughts for himself. Anyways, there's nothing harm right now so I just can take it and live with it. I've been through a lot of more difficult situations, and this is nothing compared to those past situations.:-) Good day, dear;-)
• United States
16 Jul 10
You are very welcome! Please take care of you first!
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
16 Jul 10
Do not give in to that! Do not be confused. He is not your lover. Circumstances just say he is the father of your children. Think of him as a sperm donor that hung around.
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
Well, I don't think of him as a sperm donor. I just couldn't. He's being nice to me lately. And today, he brought me to salon so I can have a hair fix. Plus, before we get ourselves into troubles, he was such a good person and I had no doubt he loved me then.Things changed when we became separated physically. So there. Our bond was just more than the kids. we started to a more deeper and meaningful relationship that turned sour....
• Portugal
15 Jul 10
i think he changed his behaviour^^ for sure he saw that really loves you and doesnt want to lose you^^ so he is changing things for you both be happy^^ just accept his changes and care for him like you always did^^ also say to him how happy you are that he is changed now :) you just wanted this all the time for both to be happy^^ and now he understands it^^ for sure he saw that he was losing you and decided to change^^ just go for it and wish he be like this from now on^^
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
That is so optimistic. :-) Though I wanted to believe it that way, I'm not sure yet if I will really give in to him that much. Still, I have apprehensions. But, I am being nice to him. I'm trying not to break the peacefulness right now within our home and between us. :-) Thank you for your response.Have a wonderful day.;-)
• United States
15 Jul 10
i think u are in love hmm .gud luv is gud u should love people and u are so beautifil whow dont want to be in love with u gud i proud that girls are still liking the guys now a days what should i tell u so badd.....
• Philippines
21 Jul 10
I used to love him and may be I still love him but I'm not in love with him anymore... THat is the sad fact. All the bitter experiences I had with him takes its toll on our relationship and in my feelings for him... Thank you for such words, Shahrukhnf. I'll take it as a compliment.Have a great day.;-)
• Philippines
15 Jul 10
Hi there Ms. Femme, In this i can only say 2 things as a husband, its either he changed in a surprise because he wanna cover any of his business that makes you loose your trust on him, so that you'll not going to suspect him anymore. Or, during the time that he's far from you he realized how valuable you are, and he's so lucky having a wife like you but he didn't see it. You still there for him though he know he's guilty of something. The best way to know what is really it between this 2 is to talk, you should be both open to this, and I believe you can still make it, though people make mistake since we are just people, and we all need chances. I know I may be young to say these, just wanna help. Good luck to your family.
• Philippines
16 Jul 10
I told myself that I am moving on. Though we are still living together but it's not the way we used to. Always the relationship has become stressful to both of us. Now, he seems nice and more cooperative. Whatever his reasons are, I might as well enjoy it. It might not last long.lol