Do you beat your child? The new Law is coming!

@Sreekala (24455)
India
July 16, 2010 5:39am CST
Hello mylotters, Do you beat your child? If yes, a word of caution for those parents, the new Law can send you in jail for the same. Please read the following news. http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Soon-beating-your-child-could-land-you-in-jail/articleshow/6174154.cms What do you think about this new Law? As a parent, I don’t think anybody parents deliberately spank their child. So it may have their own disadvantages too, for e.g., elderly children can make trouble their parents with this Law. I agree the intention of the Law may be good. What is your opinion about this? It can create any problems for parents or children. Please share it.
6 people like this
33 responses
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
16 Jul 10
I think every kid need discipline and we need introduce It when they are very small then is the right moment. I am against of this rule, because many parents can get penalty for their discipline. I agree in this world some parents is cruely and they hit they kids If they do not listen to them. And I guess this is a reason why we have this new rule. I do not like It. Take care, Have a nice day!
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
23 Jul 10
Hi ET28LV, Yes you are right, we should to teach discipline to our kids in the very beginning. But on the other hand Parents are different; some are spoiling their kids by pampering in younger stage then later hitting them to teach discipline. It means only some percentage of parents are successfully doing the parenting duty. Thanks for your opinion. Have a great weekend.
1 person likes this
@ET28LV (1895)
• Latvia
24 Jul 10
Hi Sreekala, But, better be teach the discipline in the childhood and then kids grow up normal or spoil then in childhood and then they grow up do nothing, because they just do not listen to you. Spoiling in nowadays is very big problem. Have a greet weekend to you too.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
27 Jul 10
Yes, I agree. I am doing the first one.
@salonga (27956)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
I don't approve that law. I am happy we have no such law in that country. Well in America they do have and this is the reason why America has been in trouble. I believe the word of God. Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child and the rod of correction is needed to take that foolishness away from him. You are right my friend, no parent deliberately spank his/her child. I am speaking here as a parent. I do spank my child when he deserves it only.Whenever I spank him I make sure he would get hurt so he will not repeat the same wrong thing. Of course I know the right time to spank and the right time not to. I spank my child for grave and deliberate mistakes only and I do it not because I want to hurt him but I want to correct him, I want him to know that any sinful act has a corresponding punishment and I will never allow him to get away with any wrong act just like that. I want him to grow into a good person. How could he learn what is right and what is wrong if I will teach him? How would a child learn to fear doing wrong things if they could not be punished for it. I believe the makers of that law which prohibits spanking are lost. Their intention is to protect the child from the rod but do they know what would be the consequence of that? That will give the children the liberty to do whatever they want for anyway nobody would ever punish them at all. The author of the law are guided by their emotion instead of wit. They don't have wisdom and they don't know the word of God. How sad for your government to ever implement such a law. What kind of youth are you gonna raise?
2 people like this
@salonga (27956)
• Philippines
17 Jul 10
Correction please: I am happy we have no such law in our country.
2 people like this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
27 Jul 10
Hi salonga, You are a wonderful parent dear. Spanking is necessary to correct our children. The punishments may vary or depend on situations. You are right; we don’t want to hurt them but to correct them. It will be annoying if somebody there in between the parents and kids. Thank you so much for the wonderful reply. Have a nice day.
@Muteki (114)
• Japan
16 Jul 10
I grew up in the UK, in a typical Caribbean household where it was acceptable to get beat by your parents, even your aunties, and grandparents. There was often the shoe, slipper, belt, stick. I do agree that this is an old method and nowadays we should be able to apply the same discipline without being physical. There are some times when a child may need a "little slap", e.g. if they are about to do something that can endanger their own or somebodyelse's life.
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
23 Jul 10
Hi Muteki, Means they can beat a kid with whatever they get in hand and I felt beating with shoe, slipper or belt is really horrible. I am happy to know that the same practice is no longer in your home. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Have a great weekend.
• India
16 Jul 10
Hi,its very bad. I dont accept that law is needed to control the parents. Parents always think good for their children. As a daughter, i got scoldings, beatings in my childhood which make me more discipline. The child which grew up with full support of parents will be so adament. its my opinion. If parent encourage whatever child want to do, child wont learn adjustment which is very bad to mingle with society in their furture life. I've seen many persons who steal things, hurt others, everything because of their parents encouragement. Even i've seen one mom feels very proud of her child to steal one thing from school. So there is a need to behave strict to the child, parents know their limit. They only gave birth to the child. So no need of third person to interfere between parent - child relation.
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
17 Jul 10
Hi Shine, Welcome to mylot. I really appreciate your opinion as a representative of the younger generation. I entirely agree with you, we don’t need any Law to stand in between the parent-kid relationship. Parents are the responsible people if their kids follow the wrong path. It is their duty to make them understand the mistakes they have done. Thank you so much for the nice opinion. Have a great weekend.
1 person likes this
@kiran8 (15398)
• Mangalore, India
16 Jul 10
Hi Sreekala, I have never ever believed in the saying ' spare the rod and spoil the child' - I have always felt that any kind of physical punishment is wrong and it will only make the child rebellious ,even deviant if the circumstances become so...The best way to handle adverse situation is through open communication and lots of understanding during childhood and later through teen years ..It is good that there will be a law against physical punishment, because I have read and seen some horrifying things happen when a parent looses his/her temper...
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
17 Jul 10
Hi Kiran, I am sorry to listen this dear. How can a parent do horrible things to their kids? They deserved punishment. Anyway there is difference of opinion among public about this Law. I think major percentage of people is against this Law. Let us wait to know, what will be the final outcome of the implementation of this Law. Thank you so much dear. Have a great weekend.
1 person likes this
@ehsanji (503)
• Pakistan
16 Jul 10
Humans are naturally made in such a way that they tend to be good, and then there is an opposite force which makes them do the wrong things. As far as kids are concerned, there are kids who do understand when you say 'DON'T DO THIS' but then there is a time when you need to be rigid. They just don't understand if you try to fix things nicely with a decent approach or if you avoid beating. But then it doesn't mean you should beat them with force like causing them injuries. Kids who are not beaten can easily be controlled when you give them this 'staring' look. They just get scared and they don't do that. Laws like these are never successful in countries like India and Pakistan. They should make laws against child laboring and kids molestation though.
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
17 Jul 10
Hi ehsanji, Well said, I entirely agree with you. Parents are also human beings so they can do errors sometimes. In my observation, most of the parents are getting angry very easily, but they never cruel to their kids. I think you observation is right; the Law won’t be successful in our country. The Law against Child Labour is already there but Child Labour is still going on. Thank you so much for your valuable opinion. Have a great weekend.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
16 Jul 10
Parents who fail in their duty of disciplining the child [without beating] when the child is very young resort to this beating after the child is slightly old.They pamper the child mindlessly, encourage him/her in bad behaviour when the child is young and later it hits them ; they feel ashamed when the child behaves badly in in front of others . At that point of time they wake up and start this physical assault to quell the child.It serves them right if they are jailed. They should NOT beat children.
2 people like this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
17 Jul 10
Hi Kala, You are against those parents who failed to discipline their kids at the very beginning then later standing with a stick in hand to teach good behaviour. Yes I agree too much of pampering can spoil the child. Of course kids should learn discipline from the very beginning. Thank you so much dear. Have a great weekend.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164448)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Jul 10
Sreekala I am here in the US and we have had that law for ages. Why should anyone beat on their children. How could hurting someone make them obey, it just makes them hate the beater.Why would this cause problems for parents, as for children there are a lot kinder more humane ways of teaching obedience and good behavior. The intention is to prevent angry parents from going so far that they injure their own chld. Why is that going to cause anything but making the parents aware that there are better ways to teach childrem.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
17 Jul 10
Hi Hatley, I know the Law is there in US for long time. Here Indians are shouting on government, ‘don’t follow the US blindly’. In India, the bonding is strong in between parents and kids then you may ask then why they need of passing this Law. I think the government wanted to protect some kids, who get tortures, for e.g. a drunken father may beat his child mercilessly. But it happened among a minor percentage of the population. Child labour is also here, and employers may beat those kids. The government wanted to protect these kids. But the real outcome may be different if the Law get pass in Assembly. I don’t feel good if the ‘Law’ is there in between the parents and kids. I am not supporting the spanking of kids but if any parent did it they are doing the same for the better future of their kids. A parent may spank their child when the other options are not working. Thank you so much for your opinion. Take care and have a great weekend.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164448)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Jul 10
hi I know some of you seem to have awful ideaa about my fellow americans but a lot of us are really good to our children and do teach them right from wrong but we do not whip or beat a child my God I would not like to be whipped or beaten and Iam an adult. why hurt a child to teach him right from wrong.is not hurting a child wrong too? alight spanking I rarely used as my children were intelligent enough to mind with times out and priveleges taken away. I do not like to hurt any one. and yes we do bond with our children but we do not keep them home til they are in their thirties we expect them to make their own way, get jobs, get married and have families.But I do not think that that law will be for parents who just give a few swats to a childs rear. but I have seen American parents spank their children until they were bruised and that is wrong.that is no spanking that is beating beating is wrong no matter what country. its barbaric for one thing.
1 person likes this
@Jotomy (6351)
• India
18 Jul 10
2 people like this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
17 Jul 10
ya,the teenagers may take advantage of the law in the wrong wayy(they mostly go through disturbing times).i do beleive in discipling children but one using the rod is definetly not acceptable,i think,in a way it is good such a law has been inplemented
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
17 Jul 10
wow! Now who is this stranger? Have we seen her somewhere Sree? And what has happened Riyasam? Where are you these days?
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16571)
• India
18 Jul 10
kala and alice dearies,i am fine,its just that i dont find time. nowadays,considering all the work and the fact that i am now residing with my in-laws.trust me,its very hectic
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
31 Jul 10
Hi Riya, Happy to see you again after a loooooooooooong gap. I know you must be busy with kids and family. Regarding the Law, let us wait and see.
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
17 Jul 10
I agree with the govt on this point... Beating up young kids should be entirely banned and legally prohibited... Many countries have these laws and look at those countries, they have developed way beyond our imagination... Beating and spanking deviate and destroy a child's mind... it can create permanent psychological effects too... Inferiority complex or unnecessary aggression or revolting nature are the signs of domestic voilance... Thank God our Govt has got some sense after so many senseless years... I hope they pass the law soon and without trouble...
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
31 Jul 10
Hi mr_pearl, But remember this is India; here the Laws are on papers only
@mr_pearl (5037)
• India
1 Aug 10
I know that... But there are other laws too right? They are too on the papers only... Let this law get introduced in the system.. Let the kids grow properly without fear of punishment... That will help us grow better...
@Jotomy (6351)
• India
16 Jul 10
Hi kala, i think this law is good for one reason that children wouldn't get beating from their teachers or parents, but i think there is a chance of misusing it, and i am afraid children will take it as an advantage of this and may turn indiscipline way.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
17 Jul 10
Hi Jo, Yes the Law is good for those children who get physical tortures by some parents, employers or teachers. I think the government wanted to help those children. But it can create problems with parents-kids relationship. The Law is already in US and according to them the kids are not listening to their parents because they know that the Law is there to protect them. I felt that situation is shame for us. What is the role of a parent if they are taking into Court for teaching the discipline to their lovely kids? It is very much sure that no parents intentionally spank or punish their kids. As a responsible parent they should teach discipline and each kid are different, some can listen if we tell to them in a loving way, and some may take advantage on it and may not listen. In my opinion parents need the freedom for their kids. Of course it does not mean that they can torture. Thank you much for the participation Jo. Have a great weekend.
@Jotomy (6351)
• India
18 Jul 10
yes kala....
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31635)
• United States
16 Jul 10
You people should take a good look at the U.S. We passed that law when I was a teenager in the 70's and what we have now are schools filled with kids that know they can do anything they want and not be punished. Even if they get detention their parents will likely protest that "no, not my child, they are perfect!!" doesn't deserve punishment. I do NOT agree with physically striking a child and managed to raise my own two boy with just one spanking apiece--when they were about to do something dangerous that I warned them about. With the proper attention and love, a child doesn't need physical punishment. But tying the hands of parents and school workers will result in what we have here--a population of children that have power that they don't know what to do with. They are destructive, aggressive, arrogant and fearless and they are committing crimes at younger and younger ages. Believe me, you are setting foot on a path the U.S. has trailblazed and it will lead you to disaster.
1 person likes this
@nainesh1 (1656)
• India
17 Jul 10
I totally agree with you , there should be some in between solution to be taken . Blindly copying US law will lead to disaster.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
17 Jul 10
Hi dragon54u, Yes the news is mentioned about the US Law too. I can understand the concern and I think it may be disadvantage of this Law. In India I don't think the Law will be successful. It may get a pass easily from the LS but I am sure it will be on papers. I am telling this from previous experiences. I don't think any parents will spoil their kids just fearing the Law. I hope the Law will punish only those who abuse/torture the children. Let us hope for the best. Thank you so much for sharing the valuable information dear. Have a great weekend.
@kheydia (883)
• Philippines
7 Mar 11
I believe that disciplining a child cannot be solve in beating them, i believe that although we are their parents,( i am a parent to,)that we don't have the right to hurt our children emotionally and physically, although that law as well have disadvantages as what you have said, that children could use it in a wrong way.
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
9 Mar 11
Hi kheydia, I agree that parents don't have the right to hurt their kids. They supposed to look after them well, nurture their talents and make them good individuals. Most probably there should be a strong relation in between kids and parents. In that case, there is no chance to complaint against parents by kids and parents also don’t hurt their lovely kids. Thank you so much for the participation. Have a great day.
@sumiirajj (1983)
• India
27 Jul 10
Hi friend,I come from India too.There are both advantages and disadvantages.Some parents show their anger only by hitting children.Howmuch ever good we bring up the children some children commit mistakes and disobey parents and elders.Advising them will never help as some children are not bothered about others advises and are scared only of getting beatings.As you said elder children may take advantage of this law.But whatever the law is every parent want their children to grow with good conduct and need to be strict at proper time.So we need to be strict without hurting or beating children and lay some conditions.Thanks for sharing,happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
7 Mar 11
Hello sumi, I agree with you, each and every parent wants their child to grow up obedient and disciplined. If the kids are disobedient then blames goes to parents only. Still some parents are there, who don’t have time for their kids and they become very naughty, finding this fact in later stage then taking measurement to make them obedient but it may not work. Teaching the right things should start from the beginning itself otherwise it wont work. I hope the Law won’t make any complications in between the parents and their lovely kids. Thank you so much.
@SViswan (12071)
• India
24 Jul 10
Yes, I did read about the law in the paper. But knowing how Indian laws go, not sure if it is really going to be implemented. Though I agree with you that MOST parents do not spank their kids intentionally and a few do it with good intentions and only when really really necessary, that's not the case always. There are parents (in different stratas of society...yes, even middle class and upper class) who take out their frustrations on the child. I've personally witnessed a very abusive verbal interaction with a child by a mother...I was shocked because we know these people well and the husband is my husband's best friend....very famous family...educated parents...and the woman did it as soon as the husband's back was turned. She was always harsh with the kids....but I did not think too much about it...till I heard this comment. I was too shocked for words! I'm wondering if she could use such language with the child when I was around, what she would be doing physically when no one's around. Being a teacher (in a prestigious international school), I've also come across children who are punished with the rod at home (not many...atleast one child each year). Having said all that....I still say...not sure if it would really be implemented in India. And if implemented, the people who might fall into it might be the ones who spank with good intentions and the others who it is really targetted at might go scot free.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
7 Mar 11
Hello SV, I have to agree with you about the implementation of Law in India. Moreover, kids won’t file a petition against their parents and if any one does it, it may trap his/her parents and in that case the parents may be innocent (most probably). I agree many parents out their frustrations on kids which may lead to the physical violence.
@voldrox (7204)
• India
21 Jul 10
Hi Sreekala!! it has been a long time and i was gone.. how are you doing ?? i was on my vocational internship and didn't have access to internet connection, wish i could keep up with you all here... nice to see you after many days! :) well the naughty children out there must be grinning behind their parents back, lol. well this rule is going to do no good in my opinion. Most parents, i don't think they are so careless as to beat up their children for minor issues, although i believe spanking kids is necessary at times, spanking and beating are now two very different terms i believe. We have heard of issues were some school teachers beat up the pupils severely, i think such cases should be taken into consideration. A parent spanking their child is a whole lot different them someone beating someone elses' child, this rule can't be applied to all the parents, it should not happen that the child is left completely carefree, i mean spanking lightly is sometimes a good method to discipline a growing child, how come if he/she don't suffer a little learn to cope with real heavy things later, or have a feeling of what is right or wrong.. well of course now everything depends upon the child, some need spanking while others are obedient from the beginning. but this rule is not going to do any good for the parents i guess, only to those people who abuse children by beating them.
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
7 Mar 11
Hello voldrox, Sorry for the late reply, first of all, I thought that I finished my comments and today I got one new response and checking the same I realized that I haven’t finished this and resolved. Hope you are doing fine and studies are going on well. Regarding to the topic, you know it better, in India, is there any Law implemented properly. So there is nothing to worry about the new Law and at the same time if some child is beaten by anybody we can approach the Law. Thanks and have a nice time.
@lkbooi (16101)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 10
Hi Sree, I think there are endless serious spanking problems happen every now and then here and there. It's really sad to learn that many children are hurt, severe wound, etc, no matter the incident take place purposely or unintentionally. To prevent the furious parents, guardians or teachers who have lost control of themselves to spank or to hit the child seriously, I believe such new Law is needed. After the enforcement of the new Law, one could help the sufferer to accuse and punish the reasonless, drunk, furious, ... adults. I hope this could at least to stop people to keep on treating the children wildly. Things have changed, unlike our era, teachers in my place are not allowed to spank their pupils like earlier anymore under the education regulation. Only the principal and discipline master of the school have such right to spank the child with rattan. Anyway all particular relevant the spank like date and time, the size of the rattan, witness, etc should be recorded in detail. There are cases parents accuse teachers hurting their kids from the wound or bruise left on their body. I still could except the light spanking on the palm of my kid using a ruler. During my primary and secondary school days teachers had the right to spank pupils. It seemed that the dreadful spanking or public caning in the weekly assembly forcing most of the pupils to be well disciplined and obedient My kid is a grown up adult now sometimes and I had spanked him lightly on his buttock with my hand. Another very light one on his hand using a ruler Happy posting and take care
1 person likes this
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
7 Mar 11
Hi dear, I agree with you, if somebody hurts children physically whether intentionally or otherwise, it should not be encouraged. Most of the time drunken people are the culprits but on the other hand some have some psychological problem also do the mistakes. Somebody told me that, her friend, who has a high BP used to beat her child mercilessly. Her hubby and her parents try their best to convince her but in vain. The child is only 7 or 8 year old and I don’t think this kid will file any petition against her mother. By listening her I too felt bad on that child. I too spank my kids, and the younger is so naughty and if I give slightly then you know how he reacts… I haven’t got any pain then he teases me….. so you can’t blame me if I follow the hard way…
• United States
17 Jul 10
I don't believe in spanking. I think it makes the child meaner and it's a negative approach to discipline. I believe in sparing the rod and grounding the child. I have taken things away from my children to discipline them, things they really enjoy games, telephone, etc. I learned the old adage count to ten, tell them your mad at them and send them to their room. No T.V no radio, and they were to write what they did wrong and why and how no to do what they did again. Then they themselves determine the type of discipline they should have. I had one son who, when told what discipline he was going to give himself, went straight to the corner and stood there for his allotted time because he didn't want me to take away his games.
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
1 Feb 11
Hello Sherric, So nice of your son, love him really. You are also good and know how to teach discipline. Thank you so much for sharing your method.
@youless (94778)
• Guangzhou, China
17 Jul 10
I never agree to beat the children. My parents have never beaten to me. So I won't do the same for my child. I know children can be very naughty and sometimes their behaviors will drive you mad. But after all, they are still children. They need some time to behave better. Beating is a very bad teaching method and I never think it has the positive effect. It is so wrong to beat a child. You shall be patient and try to let your children to be much more reasonable. If you beat the children, at first you are unreasonable. I love China
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
1 Feb 11
Hello youless, You must be a good mother and must have lot of patience. I know it depends on the parents how they can handle the naughtiness. Kids are almost same in nature and they will act like kids only. Parents should be matured enough to handle the kids well without beating them. Thanks for the response.
@Buchi_bulla (8299)
• India
17 Jul 10
When the children pose lot of problems to the parents, it is in the interests of the child that the parent will give a blow. Except in a couple of cases, no parent will beat their child black and blue for small mistakes. Hence there must be clear cut instructions for this law. Tomorrow the same parent is going to take care of the child. No one will bother about the child.
@Sreekala (24455)
• India
31 Jul 10
Hi Buchi, Let us hope for the best dear.