was it really my fault?

@smiley83 (1536)
Malaysia
July 18, 2010 9:25pm CST
hey friends... well, one of my lecturers told me [it is all your fault] coz I devoted the summer holiday to work to help my family.. I was actually planning to register for the summer semester but things changed as my I tended to work to help my family..so, that lecturer told me that it is my fault to help my parents! and now i'm having a trouble in completing my course registration! In fact, things were okay but the department kept on updating the system against the normal registration procedure! But he was supposed to calm me down and help me out instead of putting the blame on me..why does it have to be a fault step? i would be selfish if I didn't help my parents! awh gosh, what is going on with me this semester? I just hate the confusion that i'm in
1 person likes this
19 responses
@ehsanji (503)
• Pakistan
19 Jul 10
I think it depends how important it is for you to give time to your family. If it was something you could have done in normal circumstances, and there wasn't any rush, then you should have done the college work and then given time to your family. I still believe you did the right thing.
• United States
19 Jul 10
A role to your family is a must. Well said ehsanji.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
thanks Ehsanji & Blogger 101, for the support..so sorry for replying late as i was off during the semester... well, I couldn't manage between my family's work & my summer semester that is why i took a leave..but, i didn't realize the conflicts that have been awaiting me!!! things are over by now and the problem got solved by another lecturer..
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
19 Jul 10
Yes, he should help you fix the problem and not blaming you for helping your parents. He might not have an attitude of a teacher. You do not need to think a lot of this, I guess this is fixed now. Next time, find more information before you go on your summer works, and ask the administration if you can do it earlier or by phone. I think, communication is important, so you would not miss anything.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
well, he didn't help me at all!! the problem solved by another lecturer!! but yeah, I took it as a lesson for me... you are right as I should always get more information to avoid myself fulling on the same track!! but thanks so much though I'm really sorry for replying late as I was off during the semester...
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
16 Nov 10
Wow, you had a very long off during semester. Yes, it is good to be always ahead of everything.
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
19 Jul 10
smiley83, Well like it or not, it is certainly your fault as far as whatever you're facing now because you have missed your main focus of what you are suppose to do and failed in your responsibility in ensuring that nothing gets into your way to complete whatever you are suppose to do. Your time management and priorities are really way off here. You really cannot blame your lecturer because you have already passed your deadline and even though there was a hitch with the campus' administration system, I think you have to realize that you are probably the only one missing the deadline. What about the rest of your class? No offense, helping your parents isn't your priority and I am sure your parents will not want to be a burden to you. But, shouldn't you be concentrating on your studies?
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
yeah..i took it as my fault! I have learned from the lesson..In fact, he was supposed to help but, he didn't! i got the help from another lecturer..the problem is already solved... thanks so much for the response...i'm sorry for replying late..was off during the semester..
• United States
19 Jul 10
To me its not your fault at all. If you need to help your family then help them, but put a little time in for your frinds. They are your frinds you know.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
well I took it as a lesson and i'm quite aware of the whole thing by now...things weren't on my side and that lecturer didn't help me..
• India
19 Jul 10
i think it was your fault... i think it would be better to assign some time for your sem ....
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
I learned from this lesson :)the problem is already solved by another lecturer...
@grayxenon (1307)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
Some are really not fit to do their job and resorts to blaming instead of sorting out the real problem. By the way are still on schedule to register? because if you are late, then partly it would be your fault also as schedules are set for purpose. Now if you are just in time for registering, then the in-charger person who supposed to help you with your registration should calmly helped you and not be a jerk..
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
yeah he is not fit at all for his position!! he always messes up with so many other students... as for my problem, it was not solved by him..i got the help from another lecturer.. thanks so much for the support dear and so sorry for replying late as i was off during the semester...
@zenki08 (700)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
This is a simple example of you cannot please everybody. You can't blame yourself and it is not your fault. So don't bother yourself with what was said. There will be other opportunities for you to take up what you missed I'm sure of it.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
thanks for the support...yeah, it is hard to please everyone! you are right on this..well, the problem is already solved by another lecturer...
@sirzhang (229)
• China
19 Jul 10
I am sorry to hear that you are in the confusion now. I don't know how to console you. But I don't think it's all your fault. On the contrary, you did a great job as you help your parents. You are so kind and thoughtful. Your parents must be proud of you. Now that the problem had happened. What you should do is try your best to solve it. Maybe you can tell your lecturer the truth and beg his forgive. Finally, good luck.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
yeah the problem is already solved by another lecturer...that lecturer didn't help me at all...he had only kept on verbalizing blaming words without offering his help!!
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
First of all, did the lecturer knows your reason before summer class began? Or did someone advice you that if you will not attend your summer class there will be future conflicts? Or with yourself, did you have any idea that there will be future conflicts will come a long when you do not attend summer class? if that answer is no, maybe you are unaware of this things, because if you are aware, what would you be absent in summer class? If the answer is yes, then it is really your fault. Anyways, is there any other way they will help with that? for sure you are not the only one that was being absent like summer. And the reason was valid actually, can someone help you with that? or kindly go to the Dean's office so that someone will guide you if you are really confuse right now.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
yeah i wasn't aware of the overall procedure Grecychunny...I think it was my fault at the first place as I should have kept myself updated during the semester break..but, the thing is that, I was totally overwhelmed with other work that I didn't realize the side effect of having such a neglect..I thought, nothing would happen as I would as usual enroll into the semester assuming things would as usual! I didn't realize that conflicts that were awaiting me!! but things are already over by now as I got the help from another lecturer... thanks so much for the response though i'm really sorry for replying late as i was off during the semester...
• Malaysia
19 Jul 10
WoW! your lecturer said "it's your fault to help your parent"? I wonder how your lecturer real life when he was still studying. by the way, you should change class and attend the subject from other lecturer. that kind of lecturer will "poke" you out and make you feel the pain in the "bottom".
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
he did poke me :( he is the only available lecturer...but the overall problem got solved by another lecturer.. thanks for ur support :)
@Opal26 (17691)
• United States
19 Jul 10
Hi smiley~ Calm down! Everything is going to work out ok. You will get through the registration procedure. There are always all kinds of glitches in the systems when it comes to registrations and it doesn't matter where in the world you are going to school because apparently it happens in all countries! Just take it one step at a time and everything will work itself out!
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
hey dearie!!! so sorry for replying late as i was off during the semester...but thanks so much for the support...well, the problem is already solved by another lecturer as that one, he didn't help me at all..he only verbalized blaming words instead of helping...
@SomeCowgirl (32271)
• United States
19 Jul 10
You were helping your family out and not accidentally missed summer enrollment, I don't think your to blame at all. You were doing for your family, which is what comes first. I would just ignore this lecturer.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
thanks so much for the support dear...yeah, I was helping my family, but that lecturer didn't show any sympathy towards the whole situation!! he didn't help me at all...
@mrfdg1972 (3238)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
i can not say if its your fault of your professor just dont like you, judging from your words and what i can say based on my life's experiences, we should not blame others for our action, whatever the case maybe, you must be cautious and seek wisdom in all actions we decide to pursue, In order to Us to survive in this crazy world of ours, we must always take into consideration the relative effects of our ideas and actions. I wont be blaming you for your failure in the registration process but i will praise and commend your professor being very strict, he is teaching discipline and the best way to teach it is by imposing it. Believe me, once your in the real world, there are no excuses. Keep your Spirits Up, Cheers
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
sorry for replying late as i was busy during the semester and got deactivated from mylot due to that..well, yeah things are solved by now..yeah, i do blame myself a lot for that..it is my fault no matter how much i put the blame on him..
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
19 Jul 10
Sounds like, to me like he's being a total jerk. It's not a matter of fault when it comes to where you're needed and you certainly can't be at two places at once so you choose the unselfish route and helped your parents. You should be applauded for that, not put down as if it were a fault. In his eyes he thinks it was a choice. Maybe it was but, you still choose the unselfish way. You could've stayed in school but you didn't because you're very thoughtful. To hell with his way of thinking and his attitude! Ok? Just do the best that you can which is all you can do.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
16 Nov 10
hey dear... so sorry for giving u with a late reply as i was off during the break...yeah, he is the type of lecturer who always mess up with everyone..things are already solved by now...thanks for the support :)
• United States
17 Aug 10
Is there anyone else at school you could talk to about your family situation? Try going to either the Dean or the school President and explain your situation. If your lecturer really cared about you and your needs they would have helped you. I know that one semester in school my husband's mother had been sick and was brought to a hospital that was three hours away from home. It was during my finals week and I was able to get an extension on all my finals. You did the right thing by helping your family first.
@krnavtr (285)
• India
23 Jul 10
Everyone can commit fault when they had finish doing their job.And regret later and only they realize at last.
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
No it isn't, summer seems to be the season where you'll spend with your family, and you'll do your best during your time at school. He must not blame you, and as a lecturer he must help you with your difficulties in studies, right?? Don't get into it too much..OK?
@annavi23 (6302)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
yeah,my sugar,i think it's not your fault.it's your professor that have to help you out and make things more easier.i think they are our second parents that should help us out specially when it comes to studies.instead of blaming you,find some things to help yourself to cope up with your registration instead.i now you can do it,my friend!
@kingparker (9698)
• United States
19 Jul 10
So, it certainly not your fault. You should proud of yourself helping your parents out during this summer time. You done nothing wrong.