What do you think that my ex boyfriend's intentions were?
By cream97
@cream97 (29087)
United States
July 19, 2010 11:25am CST
I want to share with you all a story that took place at my apartment about 6 years ago. My ex boyfriend came by my apartment. And he brought with him a bottle of Hennessy. We sat on my couch and talked. We really had a wonderful time. But as I was enjoying myself, I was thinking what did he really came to my apartment to do. He did not push himself upon me. I felt like he was going to eventually make a move on me before the night was over with. But it did not happen. When we used to go together in high school, he never drank any beer or wine at all. Well at least, not that I know about. He told me that he had a girlfriend and that she was in Germany. He was in the military at this time. He was just home to visit for a couple of weeks. I asked him, if he was here with me, wouldn't his girlfriend not like this. Especially the fact that he is at my apartment, alone with me, it is night time, he is drinking some Hennessy, he is my ex-boyfriend, we have made love quite a few times, I have loved him, and he has loved me, he knows me privately and I know him privately.. So, from knowing all of this, I don't think that his girlfriend would like this too much. She is all of the way in another country and time zone. That means, if he wanted to, he could try to get away with anything he wanted to behind her back. I asked him why is he here with me, when he has a girlfriend. I am his ex girlfriend. He never came out and told me why. But he did show up back to my apartment once again, and this time, I ran him off. I have never heard from him until yesterday, 6 and a half years later. He wrote me on facebook. I wrote his wife a note and instead he wrote me back himself. I added them as a friend. But then I changed my mind and deleted them. Now, I wake up this morning to check my facebook account and I am being asked to accept their friend request after I deleted it. I am very sure that my ex boyfriend requested me to be friends once again. Why do you think that he is so eager to be friends with me?
1 person likes this
14 responses
@Janey1966 (24170)
• Carlisle, England
19 Jul 10
Because he wants his cake..and to eat it.
2 people like this
@much2say (53945)
• Los Angeles, California
19 Jul 10
Hmmmm. From what you said . . . "if he wanted to, he could try to get away with anything he wanted to behind her back" . . . that's probably true - and if it were me, I would think that would apply to myself as well. Red flag! If he was cheating on his girlfriend and he admitted that, then I would think there is reason for me to not trust him as well - no matter what his intentions were. It does sound like he is eager to "be friends" on Facebook, but who knows what goes on in the mind of a cheater. He may just want to say hi - or it could be what you may think. If you think it sounds like potential trouble, you don't have to add him or reply to any private messages.
2 people like this
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
22 Jul 10
do not think too much of his actions, he is afterall with someone else now. men would always be like that... to go back where they think they can be "safe". Safe in the sense that whatever happens with this other person, he will have a fall back. someone to accept him again and he thinks that is you!
what you can do is stop entertaining him, stop being what he thinks you can be in his life....
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
22 Jul 10
If we looked and think positive about people, and not think about malicious things, I would say that you might have been 'the one' or a true love for him. Although he might not want to be with you anymore, he still cares for you. He may have found himself a wife, but he may still want to make sure that you're OK and that you're happy.
I know, I know... simplistic and sounds cheesy. But what if it were true?
• India
20 Jul 10
I think he does have same feelings that existed when you were in high school but as he is married he might be looking for health relation where he can share his thoughts and life, problem, etc as a good, old and trust worthy friend.
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
20 Jul 10
Maybe he is just interested in remaining friends with you after all of these years, or maybe, he wants to find out if you still have romantic feelings for him. It is really hard to say. If you are uncomfortable with this situation, then the best thing that you can do is to be honest with him and tell him how you feel. I wouldn't jump to any conclusions as to why he is seeking you out without first trying to get him to talk about the situation.
1 person likes this
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
19 Jul 10
HE is probably still interested in you or probably its the wife that is curious about you and would like to see your pictures and get more information about you. Or probably your boyfriend would like to be updated about your whereabouts, your life etc.. What do you think?
1 person likes this
@edwardjoy2000 (2387)
• United Arab Emirates
19 Jul 10
A man may forget the past, but not a girl. There is nothing wrong in being friends, but be careful that you dont talk about the past. The past will only give pain and nothing else.
1 person likes this
@sweetloveforeve (13107)
• Portugal
19 Jul 10
im sure he wants to go back to you. just maybe he was afraid bcs he has a gf. also is clear he doesnt want to cheat on her. maybe he thought you wouldnt go back to him so he decided to find someone else. but the truth is he couldnt forget you. im sure of that bcs he was alone with you, drinking also and didnt try any with you bcs for sure he really loves you and if he tried something while he has a gf you could think ohh he is not acting well he just wants to play with me. and he is serious about you im sure. he was alone with you could had done something and didnt do. a guy to do this is bcs he really loves you and didnt want to cheat on his gf to dont hurt her. the truth is he loves you thats why he wants to be friends in facebook. for you to dont be away from him^^ what about you? do you still love him? sounds like you do^^
@daemonsparta (24)
• United States
20 Jul 10
truth is, you can't quite know. there could be many reasons. he could just ant to be friends, or he could want you back. my girlfriend hangs out with two of her exes, who are good friends of hers. I'm sort of the jealous type and I have been awkward when she talks about hanging with them, but that's how she is. they're friends so she doesn't thin of them that way. don't strain yourself analyzing him and his actions. if you wan to be friends with him be friends, it won't hurt you.
1 person likes this
