Friends! Tell You the Truth or Sugarcoat It?

@artistry (4154)
United States
July 19, 2010 8:40pm CST
Do you think real or true friends should tell you the truth? No matter how much pain it may cause, do you want the truth? Which is the better way to go, even if they don't actually lie? Just shade the truth a bit. What is your thought?
1 person likes this
7 responses
@1hopefulman (33664)
• Canada
23 Jul 10
A little sugar is good but too much is bad for us. Friends should tell the truth but they can still be sweet.
2 people like this
@artistry (4154)
• United States
23 Jul 10
...Hey there 1hopefulman, What a lovely way of putting it. I would hope that my friends would have enough faith in our friendship to trust that the truth will not rob us of our connection. Knowing the truth in the beginning saves a lot of hurt feelings and confusion when you learn what is reality. The way you tell someone something also matters as you say. Thanks for stopping by. Take good care.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
23 Jul 10
People say they want the truth but when you give it to them they get all defensive or offended and either there's a big fight or they stop speaking to you. Sadly, even "real" or "true" friends will sometimes enjoy the fact that they can hurt or offend someone who is supposed to be their friend. These are those friends who are not "true" or "real" at all. I think it's best to say nothing unless the subject is going to jump up and bite them at a later date. You have to speak the truth and at the same time tell the person you understand and you either agree or disagree but no matter what, you are on their side.
1 person likes this
@artistry (4154)
• United States
24 Jul 10
..Hi there MsT, You are so right on the subject. They and sometimes ourselves don't always want to hear the truth all the time. But if you are told something that is not reality based, then you are going to be very upset when the truth comes out. So I say tell me, in the best way you can without lying and let me deal with it. Time helps everyone to move on with their life. Even if it is bad, bad news. Thanks so much for a great response. Take care.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
31 Jul 10
Strangely, at about the time I wrote this there were events in place that caused me to speak the truth to a friend. I assured this person of my continuing friendship and I apologised if I had offended them. The person got very upset, broadcast the worst of what I said, so putting it out of context and then basically invited others to support them, feel sorry for them while at the same time bad mouthing me. I wasn't publicly named but I'm sure there was lots of PM-ing going on and I'm sure people were advised as to whom the despicable creature who did that is. I just let it lie, when 50 or so people bad mouth you after hearing only one side of the story, then you can't win.
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@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
31 Jul 10
Ooops! Forgot...thank you so much for BR. It did me a world of good.
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@jerikjames (1045)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
I would appreciate it if my friends protect me from the truth, I mean they have good intentions. But it would just double the hurt. If they just tell me the truth, it's just the truth that I have to deal with. But if they keep it from me, the truth would hurt me and the fact that I was deprived of the truth no matter how noble the intentions were.
1 person likes this
@artistry (4154)
• United States
20 Jul 10
...Hi jerikjames, I think that I agree with you. Once you know what is real, you deal with it and even if it hurts, time will help you to get through it. If a person who is your friend cannot be honest with you, that is not good. You would hope that they will tell you in a way that you won't have a heart attack "o), but that it is reality. Thanks so much for your reply. Take it easy.
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@MsTickle (24994)
• Australia
24 Jul 10
If my good friend told me most of the truth and sugar coated it I would know that she did that to alleviate the situation. She would have been trying to spare me being hurt or humiliated. No-one is perfect and if my friend hid something from me to save my feelings then I would understand and forgive.
1 person likes this
@annavi23 (6306)
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
the truth shall set us free. it's better not knowing the truth when it will hurt you. face the reality! whatever it is,we can't hide the truth and things will be more complicated and will cause much trouble if not easily resolved. though sometimes white lies can cover up but still no secrets are hidden for long. we must still have time to cope things up the right way,the sooner,the better!
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@artistry (4154)
• United States
20 Jul 10
...annavil, That is the saying for sure. But like change someone said, it may be good for you, but nobody said it wouldn't hurt. Time helps to adjust to things which are hard to take. So the sooner we know, as you are saying the faster we can absorb and adjust. It's tough to take the truth mazny times, but better to know than to discover later that truth was covered up with garbage. Thanks for your response. Much appreciated.
@aurorastorm (1136)
• United States
20 Jul 10
As hard as the truth is to hear sometimes, I would rather hear the truth from my friends. I do not like people that tell you one thing and then behind your back tell something else. I think if you are good enough friends with someone and they tell you the truth, even if it is painful, they are doing it because they feel you need to know and in the long run you will be better off.
@artistry (4154)
• United States
20 Jul 10
..Hi aurorastorm, Hope you are well. You express my sentiments exactly, What good is having a friend if they cannot be upfront and honest with you? They can tell you in a way that is makes it easier to take but don't tell a lie. Just say it and realize that if the person finds out they have been told something untrue, the trust is gone. Thanks so much for stopping by. Take care.
• Philippines
20 Jul 10
Most of the time they sugarcoat it. No one or mostly no one wants to hurt someone that's why they do that. I also do that too. When i don't know the person i just assume that she rather hear sugarcoated rather than raw.
1 person likes this
@artistry (4154)
• United States
20 Jul 10
..Hi there frontvisions, You make a valid point. Most of us like to think that we would not want someoned coming to us with bad news or whatever, so we try to lighten it a bit. But friends should have a bond that each understand, and know that what they say to each other is the truth, as hard as it may be to accept. So I just think that friends have an obligation to each other to be truthful as best they can. Thanks for your reply. Take care.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
20 Jul 10
I would rather have someone tell me the truth and hurt my feelings, than lie to me to try to make me happy. I have more respect for people who are honest with me than I do for those who are willing to lie to try to please me. In my opinion, it shows that the person is one who I can ask a question and get a truly honest answer. Even if what they are saying isn't a complete lie, if things are sugar-coated and made to sound all sweet, then, in my opinion, the person is trying to mask the way they truly feel... and I feel that is deceptive.
1 person likes this
@artistry (4154)
• United States
20 Jul 10
...Hi there lynnemg, I really think that that is my feeling as well. Tell me the reality of the situation. Because if I find out later that what you told me was not the truth, I will be more than disappointed, my trust will be destroyed in a way. Then I will always weonder if what they say is real or fiction. Thanks so much for your response. Take care.