Would you forgive your friend if he doesn't pay you back the money

United States
July 20, 2010 3:53pm CST
If your friend borrow your money, but he didn't pay you back and he ask you forgiveness, would you forgive him? For me, that really depends on the situation whether he intentionally not going to pay me back or there something else going on? If he really has his own difficulty, and he was temporarily short of cash. I would definitely forgive him. For someone, intentionally not paying me back, while he is buying this and that, and make up some lame excuse to avoid paying me back, that is not my friend. What would you do?
1 person likes this
39 responses
@ANIME123 (2466)
• United States
21 Jul 10
I would actually not forgive my friend until the debt is payed back because then that friend is taking advantage of me you know.
• China
21 Jul 10
Maybe he is exactly in trouble so that he can't pay back the debt.You know,there is no remedy to all kinds of diseases.Whether I will still keep in touch with these friends or not depends on the truth and situation.
• China
21 Jul 10
Hi, as my opinion, things are different from man and woman. I don't call those people my friends who intentionally does not pay my money back, if they are in difficult financial situation, and I do not need the money right now , That's all right to pay me back lately.But for my husband, in 2002, he lend a friend of his almost USD2000, and still did not get it back now. His friend certainly has the ability to pay it back, but he just does not want to. The strange thing is the relationship between he and my husband still very good . So perhaps some one has the weakness on paying money back , but they are still good friends who will help you when you need .So interesting ......
• China
21 Jul 10
Yeah,maybe sometimes men are more considerate and tolerative than women.I think for everyone what he or she disgust most is quite different.Everyone has their unique particular personality,so their reactions to dissimilar situation are also dissimilar.
• Singapore
10 Nov 10
I'll definitely not forgive him and he'll be blacklisted in my list of friends. If I find him making up any stories, I'll not forgive him ever again. How can someone borrow and not return? Does this even make any sense???
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
20 Jul 10
Friendship is a strong bond. it comes with a lot of different levels of emotion, trust , and caring. When you loan money to anyone, there is always a chance it will not be returned. It may hurt a little more when a friend doesn't return money to you. If your friendship is true, you can survive this. Forgiveness is the first step. You don't want to lose a friendship over money. There are greater rewards in life.
• China
21 Jul 10
Yes, we don't want to lose a freindship over money. But, especially for our woman. I don't think if a person intentionally does not pay the money back ,worth to be called a friend
• Philippines
21 Jul 10
i also have the same case as yours. But in my case it was my ex-girlfriend who frequently borrows money from me out of no reason. Well it's ok for me to lend her money though she insist that she will pay it when she got her allowance. Well it's ok for me. But the problem is, she is getting worst. She borrow money for the sake of new shoe's? for the sake of new bag? for the sake of her pet's accessories? Thats one the reasons why I left her. She is very materialistic person. ;/
• Philippines
23 Jul 10
sometimes it's hard to be in love. We tend to be blind and even ignores the signs that we are being used. Often we realize late enough to take it back. The sad thing is that it is your hard earned money that is involved. To think that they owes you moeny for material things...
• United States
20 Jul 10
well yeah, if he's in a state of huge financial difficulty, of course I would forgive him. If he just isn't going to pay you back, and if it is a high enough amount of money, I would be really pissed.
• United States
20 Jul 10
That is me. I should piss at my friend who used me at the beginning. For my other friend, he truthfully make his effort to pay me back what he owe me, so I would forgive him on that.
• United States
23 Jul 10
I don't believe in lending to friends. If they need money and I have it, I'll give it to them. That way I have no expectations and won't be getting angry with them because they haven't paid me back.
@darylT (85)
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
i have friends who owe me money and i have forgiven them for not paying me back. the important thing is not to lend them again because it would be stupid of me to allow them to take advantage of me. i still consider them as friends till now though, because i believe that friendship is more important than money.
@george000 (166)
• India
24 Jul 10
In this cause I will see his condition and if he cant I will forgive but if he does not want to give,I will leave it by giving advise not to repeat in next time.
@krnavtr (285)
• India
24 Jul 10
It should depend upon the situation and condition of a friend even If i had some amount to get from them.If he or she intentionally don't want to pay and makes a lame excuses than i will not at all forgive him or her but if he or she had a problem than we should understand the problem and should forgive him or her.
• India
26 Jul 10
In case of me it really depends upon situation.If she is really in great monetary problem then I will forgive her.But if she tell lies to me by not utilizing money in good purpose then I will make her pay back.
@pirate451 (152)
• India
27 Jul 10
Yeah! I should give forgiveness to her/him their is no other option to do with friend, if we do something bad to her/him hope she will be mine with me, their is no way to do anything bad to them so we should to forgive only.If they can't give then how can I say bring my money back. From that day hope I will be understand if we give a money to friend hope it will happen same as today and I will never give a money to my friends.though they are in problem I can't give.Money doesn't come just like that we do something to get money, is not easy to get a money.Actually is like a paper printed with a different type of color and number but it has lot of value.Without money we several and no happiness in the world.
• India
27 Jul 10
off course I forgive them looking at their situtaion. If they were in difficulties or if they cannot repay me , its okey, but some friends will just try to hesitate to pay back for them I wont be able to forgive.
• Philippines
29 Oct 10
If my friend will do that to me and dont intention to pay me back well i will be angry of him of course but i can forgive him but i will never ever lend him money gain for sure and that is my attitude.
• Philippines
21 Jul 10
i can't deprive a friend of forgiveness. otherwise, he or she is not really my friend. but it doesn't mean he or she won't be paying me back anymore. ahahahah... if it's insignificant amount i wouldn't really mind giving it, especially if i'm employed or has some other source of income. but if i'm broke and the amount could somehow save my day AND that friend on the other hand is working, i usually practice force and ask for payback as soon as possible. hahahah... none of my friends won't understand that. as for your example, i'd probably give up after several attempts and just not lend him/her money until he/she pays me back.
• Philippines
22 Jul 10
well that would be hard for me to forgive her, because she is wealthy..it was just happened because her parents is not around but they are rich. My friend borrowed one thousand five hundred to me, she promised that she would pay immediately like i will pay it next week but she didn't i message her, she told me that she's going to pay when she got some work..and now she is working she forgot her debt to me...then who's friend would be happy about that? i don't like her anymore.
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
21 Jul 10
Hi, In the first place, I try really hard not to get into this kind of situation of loaning money to friends and family. They hardly ever are going to pay you back. They are desperate and need the money no matter how or whom they get it from. If you choose to lend friends and relatives money, for your own protection and to find out how sincere they are about paying you back the money, have them sign a promisary note. If they get offend when you ask them to sigh, that is a big red flag that they never intented to pay it back. Forgiving a friend for not paying back money borrowed depends on, if they are asking you to forgive the loan forever, which is a very long time. Somewhere in their lifetime they should be able to pay you back. So, why forgive the loan forever? How about installment plan? a little here and there until the debt is paid off. A real friend would not try to fleece a friend and would find a way to pay back the loan.
• United States
21 Jul 10
It depends on whether he is planning on paying the money back EVER or just can't afford it right now. I know everyone falls on some financial difficulties but if they are spending money on other things then no I wouldn't. If they were really truly unable to but working on a plan to pay it back then thats different and I would forgive.
22 Jul 10
For me,it's depends on his attitude.If he has his own difficulty and can't pay me back in a short time, I think I would forgive him as a truely friend.But,If he want escape me because of the money,I think he is not my truely friend.
@keshia2007r (2880)
• United States
21 Jul 10
I had a friend who was suppose to owe me some money about a month ago. She called and told me that she couldnt cash her check for whatever reason. I was like ok fine, come to find out the next time I seen her she got her hair done. I asked her when did she get it done, she bascially got her hair done before she paid me, and answered the question and didnt notice she told on herself. For me it depends on the amount that the friend borrowed. But at that moment i was at little upset.