He said something impolite about my mom

China
July 21, 2010 9:31pm CST
Last night I went out with my friends to have party,the party was hilarious,and everyone was very happy so that we back home late.My boy was angry that I were so late,besides criticing me,he also said that your mom always do such thing like you,if we got married and your life style is the same as your mom ,I will feel very unpleasure.I not allow him to describe my mom like that,my mom is a fashional woman,she likes making friends,partying and dancing ,there is nothing wrong with such behaviors.So I got angry and said that you have no right to say mom,I forbid.But he said there was nothing wrong with his words .Although he had aplogized,his attitude was still very rude.I got very angry and cry that never come to find me ,we are over.He said ,Ok,I will never find you. I am angry and sad now.I have regretted by telling him not to find me ,but I don't want to communicate him until he does that first.what can I do .
12 responses
@june2001 (15)
• China
22 Jul 10
if u is important for him , i believe he will comes back and apologize for his word . if do he don't comes back it , let him go away . please trust me . i alway think that respect is the base of marriage ,cuz marry a man not only means u stay with him ,but also stay with his family .and the situation is same to the married guy . so if your hubby don't respect your parents ,your marriage isn't successful.
• China
22 Jul 10
I agree with you.That is why I so angry for his weak behavior.
• Canada
22 Jul 10
??? Wish you happiness.
• China
22 Jul 10
Thank you ,the same to you.
@pinky31ps (329)
• India
22 Jul 10
well see in a gal's life, mother is the most important person. in difficult situations, your husband can leave you but your mother will always stand by you, supporting so. so its very important that your partner pays respect to her. no matter how much he loves you but he should not forget that its coz of her that you are here in this world. so you should better give it a rest. if he doesn't come back then he doesn't love you. coz even if he doesn't like your mom, he should understand that you are her daughter and no daughter would like to hear anything wrong about her mom, no matter how bad her mom is. so think about it. coz you have to spend whole life with him. if he is saying such stupid things now, then he is not worth you and your sentiments coz you will never find another mom but you can find another love.. plus mom stands to be a lot more important part of life than love.
• China
22 Jul 10
You are right ,I can say nothing but just agree with you.Thank you.
• India
22 Jul 10
ur welcome honey. i know importance of mother very well. best of luck with your life.. take care.. god bless u..
@freeshis (25)
• Canada
22 Jul 10
This is the two countries of different cultural conflict.
• China
22 Jul 10
Two countries?
• Canada
23 Jul 10
sorry,wrong.
• Portugal
24 Jul 10
yes you must wait he talks to you. he was the one making the mistake so if he loves you even after what you said he will go for you. bcs who really loves doesnt give up trust me^^ me i loved a guy before he was so sweet and then started to ignore me and act not right to me and i still talked with him. i just gave up bcs i saw he would never love me and was being so mean to me for no reason. but if he loves you he will do something bcs the mistake was his. just wait he says something^^ and cheer up^^ and yes you are right he shouldnt had talked that way but is ok forgive him. just wait he comes to you^^
• China
25 Jul 10
Since we have qurreled with each other,we haven't communicated,neither he nor me.I think,we are going to break up.Thank you for your encouragement.
@cupkitties (6696)
• United States
23 Jul 10
He certainly shouldn't put you or your family down that way but from what you've said here its like you're on two different wave lengths. Maybe you need to go separate ways for a bit. I mean I'm also of the opinion that once you marry and have children you shouldn't be out partying at all hours except occasionally. You're too young to be worried by all that now though. You should be out having fun.
• China
23 Jul 10
My mom never spend all her time on entertainment,she do that at her sparetime.I also know that if I have my own family,the most important job of mine is my family. Thank you for your response.
• United States
22 Jul 10
You did the right thing by getting on him about your mom. He had no right to do that. he should not hav edone it either. I say just go about your day and don't bother him. You can find better out there trust and believe me. You only get one mother nad i would not stand for anyone disrespecting her either.
• China
22 Jul 10
We have not communicated with each other for a whole day,to be honest ,I am waiting for his message till now.But in fact,I have not felt a little sad.Maybe I can live better without him.
@bokal2703 (803)
• Philippines
22 Jul 10
he will suffocate you, that's how I see it. Besides, if he can't respect your mom, and he said things that hurt you, he will do it again...you don't have to do anything...he is the first one who should do something if you really are important to him...
• China
22 Jul 10
Yes,I am waiting for him to come.
@anjo12 (66)
22 Jul 10
I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through. I know people tend to say mean things when they're angry. But just like you, I wouldn't want to hear anyone, not even my boyfriend, say something bad about my mom or my dad. I know you feel like you shouldn't have told him that he shouldn't see you again. But if he really loves you and if he's really apologetic about his behavior, he will still come to see you. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
• China
22 Jul 10
You know now I am regret saying that,but it is too late ,what I can do now is waiting for him to apologize,or to break up with me .
@ddaguno (3110)
• Philippines
22 Jul 10
Don't cry over him. He is not worth your tears if he doesnt know how to respect your family. He should know better than to speak like that about your mom.
• China
22 Jul 10
Yes,he is not worth.I won't let anyone to say something bad about my family.Thank you for your response.
• China
22 Jul 10
According to what your descrption,your boy is very traditional. But you and your families are loving to attend different party. Maybe this is a gap between your boy and you. I think that sometimes you can invite him to attend your party,perhaps he will like it as well. Both you have mistake. If you go back home late,you should notice him by telephone. He has no right to criticize your families. Now you should communcate with him if he calls you. Good luck.
• China
22 Jul 10
Oh well,you are right ,he is a tipically traditional Chinese man,he thinks that as a mother you should put your time in your family ,your baby ,your husband,but not out to have entertainment,if you need to go out to have a meeting or a party,you should take your child or your husband with you.My god,I am so crazy with what he think. I have phoned him last night said that I would back a little late and it was safe for me because there was someone send me home.But... I don't think he will call me,someone who traditional like him will think that there is nothing wrong with him.
@shia88 (4582)
• Malaysia
22 Jul 10
Hi , Firstly you need to cool down and get ourself stay calm before face your boyfriend. In the first place,how long have you been together? In a relationship, it need time to build up to be strong and trust and understanding is very important. He might be wrong to criticize your mum,and you guys can talk nicely that you and your mum is different person. You might not be like your mum. I think your boyfriend does not like that kind of party lifestyle. You guys really need to have a nice talk whether to continue this relationship or not. A family concern is need to be considered.if he does not like your family background,then it may lead to a problem in your relationship too. You need to think in long term,if you guys were to get married,for sure he will face your parents and if he does not like your mum,how can he face her in future. The best solution is to find the best time for the best talk on your relationship.
• China
22 Jul 10
Thank you for your help,but I don't think I am different from my mom,we both are fashional,fancy about dancing,parting and making friends.If I have got married,I won't give up my habbit and absolutly put myself into my career,chidren or household. I will have a talk with him,but not now,I still feel angry. Thanks again.
• Philippines
22 Jul 10
One lesson to learn is that never challenge your love when you are at the peak of your anger because most often you will only regret in the end. But then i agree with you. Your boy must not criticize your mom because that is disrespectful. Both of you has a fault. If you know how to admit your fault and be sorry for it, refrain from doing it again. That's the secret of a successful relationship.
• China
22 Jul 10
Thank you for your advices.I think I won't apologize until he admits his errors.