He Calls ME DUMB!!!

Philippines
July 24, 2010 1:11pm CST
I'm not sure why this man treated his wife this way? The woman practically do everything in their house and sometimes, she'd carry her child while cooking and sweeping the floor or wiping dust. The man does not help much. She was doing the laundry that day when her child started crying. The husband held the baby but couldn't pacify it at once. He ORDERED to her to take charge. The woman, out of despair, asked him why he couldn't be a little patience with the child. Then, he called her dumb several times because he was thinking it should be the woman's duty to put the baby to sleep and was also thinking the baby wants to suckle. She found out it wasn't the case but rather a signal that the baby was sleepy and a little rocking was all it needed... How would you feel if someone calls you dumb or stupid? For me., I'll not bother to talk to him or listen to him anymore.Why bother voice out your opinion to someone who thinks you are dumb? You will just giving answers expected from a dumb person's mouth.
3 people like this
19 responses
@ehsanji (492)
• Pakistan
24 Jul 10
I think calling somebody dumb is rude thing itself. Calling your wife dumb is not only rude but it shows your mentality. That man needs to get educated, and needs to know how to respect a woman. Men like him are responsible for making the women think that all the men out there in the world are mean and rude. As you have mentioned, that woman is doing everything she can to keep him happy, and he stills calls her names, is the meanest thing ever! If I was there, I'd have punched the freaking loser!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
LOL. This make me smile from ear to ear, dear.;-) Punching him will somehow avenge his wife, ei, even a bit. The pain though that he had caused her is much deeper than the punch he'll receive from you, if ever.LOL Yes, guys who are like this are mal-educated. They think that they can say anything they want because they are gab gifted and just because they are the one earning. For me, this guy is a GAY.
• Canada
24 Jul 10
Oh so true. Experiences with bad men cause a women to think all men are the same. I know I use to look at all men in the same light. I have sense learned this is not true at all. Quite the opposite. The majority of men are good decent human beinga and bad men are giving men a bad rap.
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
CoffeeAnyone, I have few good men in my life so I don't think all men are like this one. Matter of fact, I have more boyfriends than girlfriends.I don't take it against all men because one disrespectful husband is from their specie. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.;-)
@dpk262006 (50893)
• Delhi, India
26 Jul 10
Hi eureka! It is really sorry state of affairs if a husband calls his wife dumb or stupid. He should have some understanding and should see to it that his wife cannot handle two jobs i.e. washing clothes and handling the baby simultaneously. This proves that the husband is not only inhuman, insensitive but a selfish person. I think, in this case, ignoring his unwanted comments would be the best option.
• Philippines
26 Jul 10
What a wife to do if she got this kind of man in her hands, dear? We, women, can only endure so much but not everything. I will not tolerate verbal abuse and will make it clear to anyone that it is unforgivable in my part... Husbands like this should be cut of off their tongues.Or insects and worms got out of their lips every time they said bad words. Sigh... if only fairytales are true...:-)
@dpk262006 (50893)
• Delhi, India
27 Jul 10
I agree with you that verbal abuse is non acceptable and it should not done. Oh dear! Please do not be so harsh..............lol! so as to cut of their tongues.........!!!
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
Well, t'was a wishful thinking ,dear.LOL. I often told my daughter this so as she will be wary saying stuff like this. You can't control what she hears especially when her father is around. He is so fond of saying "crazy" especially when he is "happy" and having that father-daughter bonding time.:-)
@snowy22315 (25212)
• United States
24 Jul 10
It's just abuse plain and simple. I wouldnt put up with much of it at all. It is not a loving way to speak to someone, and I would tell him to shape up or ship out.
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
Yes, I do agree with you on this one. I'd rather be slapped on the face than received such derogatory remarks , especially from the father of my kids.:-( I'll do everything under my power as a mother to teach my children not to say such remarks no matter how pissed they are... Shame on the man... Woe to the woman...
• Netherlands
25 Jul 10
I dont think you really mean that about the slapping thing. Ask any woman who really got ''slapped''
• Philippines
26 Jul 10
Well, I knew it could be painful and no one wants to be slapped. Well, I'm just referring to the physical pain being compared to the pain gained from verbal abuse...
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
28 Jul 10
eurekafemme, In all fairness, I am sure you would agree that people will react differently when they are depressed or stressed and there's no exemption for this man as per say in this discussion. Please do not take that I am condoning or supporting what the man did, but I am sure you are wary of how people will react at the spur of the moment. It is always a challenging challenge when there's a new arrival into the family and no matter how many one would have before, each new member would pose new problems. What's more for the first baby, where all it can do is cry to signal its hunger, discomfort, agitation and fright, where everything at the first onslaught is equivalent to buying a local lottery ticket - guessing for the right action. I think instead of having ill feeling on the man here, I hope that we can spare a thought for the woman here. I am sure she needs our credit and support for what she has done, taking everything into stride. Her man may be in the wrong but I am sure he will learn his lessons one day. If I am in any position here, I would really love to pull him aside and him an earful about being a good husband and father. Since I am not and unable to, I just have to draw some comfort from another logical perspective where it says that it takes a dumber person not to know a smart person. Take care and have a nice day.
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
Hello, Sky.;-) No, I don't take it against you, not at all.:-)Well, you might be right. At the spur of the moment, especially with the situation I presented, we easily react without thinking the aftermath. Maybe, the wife should be a little more patient with her man, then, hoping, wishing and praying that one day he'll learn a lesson form what he did. But I wonder if it will ever occur to him that what he did was wrong? Probably, this is not just the first time that he had spoken to her that way... Anyways, thank you, Sky, for giving this discussion a different light.:-)
• Portugal
26 Jul 10
be sure that if it was me even im not married i know that if my hubby did that and treat me that way like im his slave i would end that marriage and take care of my baby on my own. im doing that already in that case right? those men are stupid and have no value. they just see his wife as someone to make his wishes. unfortunately there are still men like that that dont respect women. so sad :( anyway all women to whom their husbands talk like that should get divorced bcs no one needs someone near them that just makes them feel more unhappy. we need someone that makes us feel happy not one that treat us like trash. poor women that are on that situation :(
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
I am with you on this one, Sweetlove. I believe the wife is contemplating of ending the relationship for good. She can take anything ( she has been enduring all sorts of heartaches and pains from the relationship for years ) but the verbal abuse is just too much. Even if she doesn't earn for her family she deserves his respect because she is doing everything she could to help him. Plus, she deserves the respect he should give her because she is the mother of her children.
@Cutie18f (9565)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
That man is abusive. If he goes on with that, I think the woman should do something to stop the abuse from getting worse. She is getting no help from him in the work at home, so that in itself is a form of abuse. Then he verbally abuses her. I think the woman should start thinking if she would like to live that kind of life for the rest of her married life.
• Philippines
26 Jul 10
As of now, after that incident, the man is practically living on his own because the woman doesn't prepare everything for him now.She still cooks . It is because she is also eating and the kids. The man is doing the share of house chores, too. Doing the dishes and preparing himself for what he needs without waiting or asking the wife to do it for him. That is definitely an abuse anyway you look at it but hopefully, he'll change his ways for his daughters' sake...
@p3ks626 (6552)
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
That man is stupid! I think he is dumb for calling his wife that bad name. If he is smart enough then he wont be allowing his wife to do all those house work and take care of their kids. He has insecurities and its so serious the wife is suffering because of that.
• Philippines
26 Jul 10
I think I do agree with you on the fact that he has some insecurities. There is something about this guy that isn't quite right but the wife has to figure it out. He definitely hurt his wife by slashing her with such abusive word. I hope he will soon realize it and make amends before things gets out of hand...
• Netherlands
25 Jul 10
when your in a relation, you gotta have ''relation problems'' Dont act like you all are the perfect couple and never have any disagreement.
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
well, I agree with you that all normal relationships have arguments one way or another. But, I don't agree that whenever the couple have an argument they will start slashing each other with mean words. Words like these are derogatory to oneself. An argument can be easily fixed when you don't call each other names.
@satylot (98)
25 Jul 10
I think it is a common word which is used to abuse a person and should be taken littlely.. I would have done nothing and taken dumb for nothing..
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Yes, this word is commonly used everywhere and almost by everybody. But in the case of anger and resentment, this is not a good word to use especially if the one you are attacking with it is the mother of your kids. What I can say is that he is dumber than she is because he built a family with a dumb woman...
@kukueye (1761)
• Malaysia
25 Jul 10
Ya, it is hard and cruel when someone call u dumb especially if that person is close relationship.Sometime it is during a heat of argument or under duress like baby crying.It takes a man to remain calm and objective. Refusing to argue with him is a good way to reduce the tension.It takes one to know one especially those people are hot tempered and easy lash out.
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Yes, it is normal, I think, in a heated situation. But this shouldn't give men the alibi to hurt the feeling of the one who loves you. It isn't just the wife who must remains compose and calm when things get a little off hand. And if he doesn't know how to deal with the babysitting thing, he could have asked her and not to order her as if she is just an employee in his household. It shows so much of his character, and a bad character at that...
25 Jul 10
Sometimes we are doing things that are not intentional maybe but for some reason we are doing so but on the case of calling dumb her wife or saying stupid is showing of disrespect it is not manly.You married this woman because you love her and not calling her in anyway but he should be careful with words he is saying for It might get hurt maybe he got problem or not knowing what to do but he should asked in a rightful manner.
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
For awhile now, he had disrespected his wife a couple of times. And this kind of disrespect is not new to her but still the pain is always deep and too much too bear. As if everything about her was stripped down, he left her nothing. Not even her self respect...
• Canada
24 Jul 10
I often wonder. If women didn't put up with such bad behavior from their men would the men climb up to a higher standard for themselves?
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Any man needs a woman behind them to climb up the ladder. Without women, men are nothing. No matter how accomplished and independent they may sound, there's always that little child in every man that keeps on yearning for a mother's love. Men will never truly grow up as men... They will always be boys...
@keshia2007r (2886)
• United States
24 Jul 10
Definitely a form of abuse Mental and Verbal abuse to be exact but any kind of abuse is never good. What I don't understand, is why some men feel like they can talk to their wives that way.I boyfriend would never talk to me that way, I wouldnt talk to him like that either.Its something we call respect. We have respect for each other. I dont know about that man problem but it seems like he lack self confidence. Sounds like a coward to me. And he's quite controlling. I wouldnt stay to long or long at all w/ a man like that. I'm heated. Subjects like this really gets to me! I'm not sure if that poor woman is even safe in this relationship. But either way. Happy Mylotting
• Philippines
27 Jul 10
Hi there.;-) Somehow, I get to think that he is insecure and lacking of the confidence of a real man. And saying tough words like this when his authority is being questioned is his great defense to hide whatever insecurities he has. I also think that he is needing so much to be respected by his wife. But he is doing it the wrong way. He is pushing her wife away even farther from him... Yes, men like this makes me lose my temper,too.
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
well you got a point thee, how can you explain to someone think that you are a dumb he will never trust your answer... if someone calls me that I will rebuke him in Jesus name! Not only because I'm mad that he calls me that but because I'm not giving his words a chance to penetrate me! The reason why he called his wife stupid it is simply because He does not have any responsibility and commitment to himself to be good, and simply because he is the real stupid. Pity him... God bless.
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
I don't think the wife really thinks that she is dumb, thus, not contemplating over that matter. What hurts her the most is that the man whom she depended on for love, respect and support is also the man who is putting her into shame and making her feel like she's a trash and worthless. She deserves to be treated well.
• United States
24 Jul 10
He must be able to talk to her like this and get away with it. if she put her foot down and stand up for herself he would never do this to her. She has to be the one to stop it. if she is stupid enough to let it continue then he will be stupid enough to let it happen. I would not want him to put my child to sleep. If he treated me this way he would not even hold my child I can't trust abusers.
• Philippines
25 Jul 10
She is absolutely resenting the way her husband is treating her. She isn't talking to him anymore and he in return isn't talking to her anymore, too. I believe it is better this way than to keep on talking but said harsh words to each other. The wife is not asking him to do things anymore, nor she is asking him to take care of the children. He can take care of them or not as he pleases..
@rmuxagirl (7570)
• United States
24 Jul 10
If I had a boyfriend that called me dumb or stupid I would dump his butt. I deserve detter than that as does every woman. I couldnt stand to be in a relationship where I would be treated like dirt.
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
Yes, the guy has succeeded to make his wife feels like a trash that day , and I think, forever. It will definitely leave a mark in her heart and mind for as long as she lives... If the wife has a choice she'd have leave him for good, too. But there are reasons why she is letting herself stay in this painful situation, her kids... May God cut his tongue so that he may not speak to her that way...
@Iequate2 (280)
• United States
24 Jul 10
It is pure verbal and mental abuse. In addition, it will only get worse. Abuse should not be tolerated. I would think of leaving for a peace of mind for the wife and child!
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
Yes, I do agree with you. This is clearly an abuse... The woman fears her children might grow up like their father who are quick to utter derogatory remarks.Worse, they are all girls. And what kind of an image this guy is giving her daughters for their would -be- husbands? I just couldn't imagine these little angels would think that it is just normal to receive such remarks from a husband...
@kaka10 (180)
• South Africa
24 Jul 10
It is a confidence issue, I know alot of guys who are like this, they put up this defense mechanism so they attack befroe you can see the weakness in their armour, so the best way to look big is by bellittling those around them all you can do is keep loving them and showing them they are worth more, as this stems from how their dad or even mother broke them down.
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
I'm not sure how he was brought up or down by his parents but one thing I know for sure was he grew up with less supervision from parents. This guy would often say the same remark to his colleague (without their knowledge) when he thinks they are doing something not favorable for him. Yes, I believe he is insecure. But, he can't bring his wife to respect and admire him by doing such...
@ashton77 (292)
• India
24 Jul 10
The dumb person out here is not he wife but her husband. What kind of a man is he if he cannot help her out with the household work. Forget about the household work, he is not even able to pacify a child. She must have lot of trouble staying with him but then I guess it's the love for him that she has in her heart makes her normal. For me it depends on who calls you 'DUMB' and in what situation. We have friends with whom teasing and small pranks are played. During these times it's okay for me as I would be taking it lightly. If the same prank or teasing goes on when the situation is serious and I am then called a 'DUMB', I am sure I will be having a huge argument. My reaction would depend, on the situation and the people who are around me.
• Philippines
24 Jul 10
That is true, Ashton.;-) That depends. Surprisingly, I sometimes find this word"dumb" cute when it is spoken by my friend who'd tease me, it is his favorite expression, I guess and when he is so happy he'd use this word. But in this couple's case, it is different.The wife was so hurt and she was even feeling more humiliated and disrespected now that she was before... I pity her...