Being overly reliant, you can't be independent and learn things on your own

Singapore
July 25, 2010 10:24pm CST
Hi friends, Some of you may know that I recently got my driving licence but was a scaredy driver. I cannot drive without my brother sitting in the seat beside me to guide me and do my parking for me (by turning the steering wheel from his side ). I was totally not confident of myself. Recently, he went overseas and I had to run some errands driving a car. I found that I can drive and can park without him! That's when I realized I have been too dependent on him and thus afraid to venture out on my own. After a few days of such "crash course" for me, my confidence level has increased and I'm always itching to drive now. Have you had similar experiences where you have been too reliant on someone and realized that you could have done much better on your own?
5 responses
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
26 Jul 10
Hi bluemoonpavilion, experience is the best teacher and it interesting that like many of us, you learned how to drive through doing it yourself. Dependency on others is a normal part of our socialization, as we grow up, we stray further and further away from those we depend on until we come to be self relient. Its ok to go slow as long as you don't hang on to others and be dependent on them all you life.
• Singapore
27 Jul 10
Hi ptower, Thanks for the encouragement. I realized that it is a normal process, the painful part is when we have to cross that line between dependency and independency or when hands are let go.
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
27 Jul 10
yes, it happens at every stage. you'll be ok. Drive safely.
• Singapore
27 Jul 10
Thanks again!
@Hatley (159236)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Jul 10
hi bluemoonpavilion you are so right, when my son and I were living in our apartment I relied on him for the least little thing that went wrong on my computer then we were were evicted and had to separate to find housing I found that I could really figure out a lot of things on my own so that I did not need to bother him. Of course if its a really bad situation on my computer I will go to him as he knows computers in and out, up and down, and he himself said if its something that you cannot fix quickly leave it and I will get it when I come to see you. There are some instances if you really do not know what you are doing you will only make a computer problem much worse
• Singapore
26 Jul 10
Hi Hatley, Knowledge on technical problems could not be gained so easily so I give you full understanding for not knowing how to solve that. Life skills, on the other hand, could be learnt on our own, sometimes even better without somebody beside us holding our hands.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (159236)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Jul 10
hi blue moon yes when my son just does the various things on my computer himself I learn nothing but when he lets me do it and tells me how to go about it, the next time I have that knowledge and can do that for myself. hands on is the only way I really learn on my computer. just telling something is not the same as seeing exactly how to do it which you do when you do it yourself. I remember my first child and wishing an owners manual came with him, but I learned by myself how to cope with all sorts of things.And I also learned that no two children are alike in anything. One will crawl at eight months another at eleven but my son only crawled for a month and was up and walking so he never read the DR Spock book at all.
• Singapore
27 Jul 10
There's a wide gap between theory and practical. I have had hands-on legs-on driving lessons but I still act panicky. I hope your computer knowledge will get to the expert level soon and then you will be giving out IT advice here. That was interesting facts about children and I have never realized it before.
@qianyun6 (2069)
• China
26 Jul 10
I got my driving license just recently too. My mother hired a training mate for me. I drove with him for twenty hours to familiarize the road condition. He always held the steering wheel for me that made me unsure of my driving skills. I decisively decided to stop driving with him and make my first self driving in the eleventh day, it was all right! And I found my confidence back from that time. Now I dare drive myself and face any accident on the road.
• Singapore
26 Jul 10
Hi, Your experience is so reflective of mine. I wished I had realized this earlier, but I guess it's a stage we all have to go through. I would dread to face an accident though. Driving over the kerb a few times was scary enough for me!
@qianyun6 (2069)
• China
26 Jul 10
Yes, especially in a crowded narrow street/road...
@Metatronik (5899)
• Pasay, Philippines
27 Jul 10
I think when I am cooking that I still have the guidance of other people but now I can do it on my own to the extent that I could add some spices to make it more delicious.
• Singapore
27 Jul 10
haha, that's a relevant experience! You can cook up your recipe too!
@bounce58 (17550)
• Canada
26 Jul 10
It is amazing what we can do, if we are really pushed into it. Even if we think we need something to accomplish a task, we would be surprised that it was within us all along. I am the most junior in the position I am in at work. For the part year, all my decisions, and resolutions to problems at work was always with a consultation of one of my senior colleagues. It is the summer and both of my senior mentors are at holidays. I was a bit surprised that I didn't find it difficult to fend for myself at work.
• Singapore
26 Jul 10
How true that is, we do not realize our own potentials. Sometimes we need a challenge to realize our abilities. Good for you to do that on your own without consulting your seniors. It is probably a milestone for you.