I still love him.

@laydee (12815)
Philippines
July 27, 2010 8:16pm CST
We have broken up about a month ago, because I found out he cheated for the last 3years. I know it's tough and that sort of thing cannot be ignored nor tolerated. But, I still love him deeply but I'm doing my best not to show him. Is it wrong to love someone? Is it wrong to love him still? I have realized things on my own. I realized I was way too clingy and must have been choking him the last few years. I can't say that it was entirely his fault. Whew. I still love him and it's eating me up.
3 people like this
30 responses
@williamjisir (22909)
• China
28 Jul 10
Why do I still love him? - I wish you to rationally solve your feeling smoothly. Good luck with you, laydee.
Hello ladyee. I used to love my ex-girlfriend so deeply for around five years when all of a sudden she betrayed me to another man, yet I still loved her and forgave her for what she had done to me, but it was useless when she made her decision to follow man. I was so hurt that it affected my feeling for another few years that I had no interest in finding another girlfriend. The main reason that I could not forget it was because it was my first love. Now I am quite ok because I am now married with a very good wife and children. I wish you to rationally solve your feeling smoothly. Good luck with you, laydee.
2 people like this
• Philippines
30 Jul 10
WOW, that must be hard. I wouldn't want that happening in my life. i guess not all "first loves" last forever, but some how i feel now that "TRUE LOVE" is the best one.i am not getting any younger but i do hope i get the true love and not some other first love lost love thingy.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
This is my first love as well. Sheez
@youless (86614)
• Guangzhou, China
28 Jul 10
3 years is not a short time. If he has cheated you for such a long time. Then this man is not reliable. Even if both of you didn't break up, but one day it may lead to the same result. So sooner is better than later. I can't stand the one who I love cheats me. If so, my love to him will be gone. I hope you will realize that this man is not worth to your love. Forget him, you deserve a better man. I love China
1 person likes this
• United States
28 Jul 10
Love is a complicated situation.3 years is a long time and your feelings are not gonna fade from one way to the other its a process u have to go threw but soon enough itll slowly fade.A man who cheats has no respect for his partner or himself your better of without him.Good luck to you and your new future..
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
I know. I really know. But I can't seem to get rid of the feeling!
@allire (17)
• United States
28 Jul 10
I don't think that it's wrong that you still have feelings for him. You can't help the way that you feel. Everyone makes mistakes, but cheating for three years is a mistake that happened over and over again. It would be different if he just cheated one time, but by cheating for years he was making the same mistake over and over again, not caring about your feelings. And so what you were a little clingy? If you were so clingy, why didn't he just break up with you? Did that give him the right to cheat? Love is a complicated thing. I'm sure that in the end everything will work out for you. :) You just have to have faith in life and self respect for yourself. If you still love him, you could consider telling him or try to remain friends with him. Either you have to try to fix things with him or move on. Those are just my opinions anyway. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
I agree with Allire if the guy/girl cheat you over and over again it means they dont care of your feeling, dont love you anymore or they are just selfish. Ending the relationship is a good move. Why be faithful to one man if he is not faithful to you. Remain friends? Better not.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
Thanks guys, there's just a huge stupidity on my brain these days. I don't know, perhaps I'm just not functioning very well or something. I'm totally okay in the mornings but at night, I get all crazy.
@rangasri (46)
28 Jul 10
laydee, i can understand your inner feelings but upto my opinion , if u are in deep love with him , you should also try to cultivate and develope the habit of forgeting his mistakes . Ok, cheating is not a tolerable one to any one , but u ttry to understand the situation in which he has cheated you . try to talk to him and discuss those situations and feel by yourself , wht you could have done under that situation and then decide , whether to still love him or throw him . otherwise, your wavering mind will put your sould in trouble always
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
You know that feeling when you have decided that you don't want to have anything to do with him, and you spend the whole day just doing things to forget him and just when you're about to sleep, you feel a huge pang of emptiness and you cry and you know that the feeling won't leave soon. Then your phone rings or a message comes and it's him. And you struggle not to reply but in the end you still? I know it's pretty stupid and most would be angry at me, but I can't help it! The mere talking to the guy makes my sadness feel tolerable. Doesn't mean we're getting back together. But I know it's wrong.
@pwnson (151)
• India
28 Jul 10
Ya i still love him because we have meet and we become friend. All I knew then, was we are just friend, but as time went by, love grew in our heart and it was growing stronger everyday, and we didn't want to let go of that feelings. It was so special and we really fell in love with each other. There was never a time that i didn't think of him. Without seeing him just for a day, was like a very long time to me. We spend many years together, sharing one special true love. I thought it will last for life time, but it didn't happen. The time asked for the parting of our way and we had to decide. No matter how painful it was for us. We made our decision and i cried a lot and we said goodbye. I thought i could forget him, but i was wrong. No matter how hard i tried not to think of you. I just couldn't do it because i always see each and everyday. So, how was I supposed to for get him? I STILL LOVE YOU.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
It's tough really. Sometimes I think love is just really overrated and should not be given attention anymore. Whew! Loving is painful! AVOID IT!
@kshp_dpk (214)
• India
28 Jul 10
Yeah!it is same to me also.I found out that he is cheating me for few years.I did not realize that he will do like this to me but still i love him.We never know that what will happen,within second the world will be change.I cant blame to him, it is human nature.As a saying goes "Love is a game played between two person".so we have to bear our pain inside.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
So what did you do?
@JOIEMARVIC (2342)
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
What you feel is natural. I would be surprised to see you moving on that easily considering the two of you spent five years together. Like what I have always tell you, this is a stage you have to go through. And do not torture yourself even more by blaming yourself for being to clingy.The two of you could have work things out, or he would have took the effort to settle differences between the two of you. BEsides whether you blame yourself, blame him, blame the other girl or blame everyone else. The fact remains that he has already left you. Just pray that moving on and acceptance will come to you in due time.
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
I think I am just so used to having him around that's why I miss him more and more. It's just that sometimes, I hate myself for feeling so fragile and wanting to talk to him or even talking to him!
@pirate451 (152)
• India
28 Jul 10
Yeah,me also same as you we have also broke up few month back ,because I found he was drank and saying what a not things to me and I also told him what ever come in my mind and our relations has ended from their itself.After that he ignored me and I feel very bad and sad with that so I also ignored him but is difficult to forget and what do is in my faith, to give a love to other is useless but still I love him deeply but I can't show him that I am loving him,after few weeks he came back to me but I doesn't gave dam with him,is better to give a love to parent and family.Once we give full love to someone is difficult to go out up mind.Now I realized is not to love someone and is better to marriage directly,as saying goes "LOVE IS PROMISED OF TOMORROW" and make us sorrows.I can't forget him till I life.It's happen same to you or not?
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
It is happening to me now. I am in love with a cheater. I don't know why, and I don't know why I am still yearning for him. It's really mad.
@Katie2009 (145)
• China
28 Jul 10
It can't be normal to feel that way.We are humans and certainly emotions that are lasting. It may not as desirable as you wish to be but it essential to our life. You will miss him and love him because you did before and the memory about you two remains in your mind. Women, to some extent, are inclined to be nostalgic and indecisive. Although it is normal to love him, you really should try to stop,as he will not come back any more and he is someone else's. Remember that he betrayed you and that mistake should be corrected long time ago.In my opinion, you might as well pray for him to lead a happy life without infidelity and yourself a freer life. I have a boyfriend who I really think I should break up with,however, whenever I think about his mild and benign eyes my heart asks me to postpone the date to say goodbye. I will at last and I know I will keep loving him for a while. But life goes on without our permission and is beyond our control. We can't live merely in memories. Laydee, allow your eyes to rest on something else and see the beauty of the things you have not noticed before. It will be fine. Pray for you~
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
I am trying to see the beauty of other things. But I guess I was so dumbfounded of the situation that I don't know how to stumble back again.
• India
28 Jul 10
Hi, I know this phase. Well, you may or may not love him, but you've definitely grown a habit of having him around. You are having this thing called the 'withdrawal symptom'. Don't magnify your mistakes. If you had tried to cling to him, it was quite natural as lover. He could've told you that directly. If one's girlfriend is a bit possessive that doesn't in anyway justify cheating. I think you should wait patiently. Things will change soon. This is just a phase of trauma that everybody suffers after a break up. Most smokers go back to their smoking habits just because of similar withdrawal symptoms. But in this case, if you go back, you will only cause more humiliation to yourself. Go to my profile. Under 'My published articles' find the link 'How to survive a break up'. Read the articles to know all the phases that are yet to come. Thanks. God bless you
1 person likes this
@laydee (12815)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
I think indeed I'm experiencing withdrawal, I don't want to love him yet I can't handle it well. Whew.. I hope this phase ends quicker.
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
I understand you laydee. Your feeling for him is so strong. That is why until now you still love the guy and can't forget that quickly. He is with you for three years and you are use to it like that. Time will come you will get over with him. And time will come you will find a guy who deserve your love. And will love you back the way you should deserve. Just don't close your heart to love again, this may help you to forget him.
1 person likes this
• India
28 Jul 10
So sorry to know about your story. I understand hows the situation u going under. Being a gal i can understand even though our guy cheat us still we love them back. But this time try not to repeat your same mistake again. Let him go. If loves u he will come back otherwise life has to go on. Only the thing is recently u broke up with him so got a used to go around and do anything with him so thats why u couldn't forget him for sometime. But trust me time is the best medicine for every sore.
1 person likes this
• India
28 Jul 10
Every one makes mistake in life,but he is making great mistake over me that he left me.But, still I love him very deeply but I will not show to him that I love him.It is wrong to love him deeply, I really regret.
@abhi000 (235)
• India
28 Jul 10
Ya i still love him.Well he still flirt with me and my friend and he is OK with.She knows i still like him but she wants to be all friend with me and i don't mind that but he is kind of rubs her in my face.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
only month ago, so i understand why you still feel that way,but knowing that he have someone else,you have to move on, to forget easily, think of all the bad things he did tom you, and cry with it...just cry and let go your feelings.you belong for someone better than your x....
1 person likes this
@rjkmrr (172)
• India
28 Jul 10
We cant define love in a particular way. Same case happen with every body, I mean who got break up with their partners. Since there is natural flow of feelings we can stop, though we can pretend not to be loved. Same case still happening with me.
1 person likes this
@rose005 (254)
• India
28 Jul 10
I understand your feelings, yes for the first month you broke up you feel that you still love him. Again after sometime you will start regret and after some days you will get a feeling that you really hate him, and that is how I also felt once...Hey common when a men cheats you how can you love him still.
@staaars (11)
28 Jul 10
It's never wrong to love someone, stupid yes, but never wrong. I never believed that anyone can be too clingy, if you love someone that's slightly justifiable. Hey, girl, don't put the blame to yourself. So he cheated, he's not good enough for you. There's nothing wrong with you, but there is with him. I may not know you, I may not know him, and I may not know how your relationship worked but I do know one thing: What he did was wrong. Don't continue to pine over him. He's not worth it.
1 person likes this
@keshia2007r (2886)
• United States
29 Jul 10
I know you heard this already, but your not wrong for still loving him. Love really do hurts. It has difficuly things like feelings involve. But on the other hand, he did you wrong. He cheated on you for far to long. To only take him back would only cause more heartache and pain. If he cheated once, he'll cheat again. Maybe you need a rebound guy to help you get over him. 2 months isn't that long, but i'm sure you can find somebody to help you get over him. you know? anyway, best of luck!!
@Sadie1675 (114)
• United States
29 Jul 10
You will probably always love him. It may not be as strong as it is now, the betrayal will dull the love you have for him. My first love cheated on me and it still hurts a little to this day years later, but i still love him to a certain extent and always will. I wouldnt trust him much anymore, I think you need space and time to pull yourself back together. Just know that your not wrong for still loving someone, if it didn't hurt you didn't love or care about him or the relationship. You just have to be careful when you are around him, don't let him in close where he could hurt you again. I wish the best- recovering from a heart break is one of the hardest things. Best thoughts and wishes!