my boyfriend loves to stare

@Alize997 (190)
United States
July 28, 2010 3:44pm CST
I have been dating this guy that I love very much for about a year and 6 months. For the past couple of months he has been staring at other women. It makes me feels inadequate and like he doesnt really want me. When I brought it up to him. He at first deneied it, and said that i was imagining it. Then eventually he admitted to it. There is this particular woman that he always ogles at. I dont know what to do. It bothers me alot and hurts. I dont think I can cope with him staring at other women. So should I leave him?
2 people like this
24 responses
@laniekins (4585)
• Philippines
29 Jul 10
We are in the same boat, my bf for 6 years always ogling at other women, pretty or not as long as sexy and busty ofcourse. I know if he is staring at someone, I can feel it. When the girl is gone or when we are in a place wherein we can talk privately, I tell him that I know he is staring at someone or in a particular girl. Ofcourse he denied but sorry for him, I don't believe him. Girls know it better, that's what I always tell him and I brought it in a prank but happy ways. At times I get used to it but I always remind him. He makes me feel much unpretty, I cannot blame him that I am not physically attractive but I guess I need respect. I am thinking if I can live with that forever, I guess when the going gets tough I'll cross the bridge when we get there. Let's see if I can shout at his face! Think about leaving him hundred times, it might not be a good idea.
• Philippines
29 Jul 10
I myself is having a problem with my wife, 3 or more years ago... we've been married for almost 9 years, but it's very natural for guys to be attracted to other women, physically... but, ends after the lady has passed by, Do You know often times after that, fellow men thinks about ? what we end up thinking is, My girlfriend / wife is better that that...! ! ! all you have to do is Give a Mans Trust where it's due...
@laniekins (4585)
• Philippines
30 Jul 10
I don't think my bf thinks that I am better than those girls cause its plain to see that they are sexy and pretty than me. He is just attracted to them cause I am lacking physically. I don't give my 100% trust to him, I don't want to be fooled. He's a guy and if he see a chance of flirting with a girl who give motive towards him, I'm sure he will grab it. He's hungry for sexy, flawless body with pretty face, but I know that he will still end up with me cause he can't find someone like me. He always say that he loves me but he still ogle on girls!
• Jamaica
28 Jul 10
One thing you will have to learn at a young age.. There are no men in the world that do not look at other girls. It makes the situation a little worse though when the girl he is looking at is a mutual friend. The best way to remedy it would be to just tell him you have noticed his wondering eye and you don't appreciate it. A quick glance here and there is no big deal, but when he is noticeably staring, he needs to cut it out. See how he reacts, and go from there. If he knows its bothering you, and he really cares about you, it will stop.
• Philippines
28 Jul 10
Here try this out, when he stares just let him and when his back to himself again stare him that will give him the message :)
• Jamaica
28 Jul 10
I agree with you, some boys and men just have that wondering eye. You have to just put your foot down.
@keshia2007r (2886)
• United States
29 Jul 10
I know what you mean. My boyfriend does the same thing, but not to the extreme like yours. I talked to me before about it. It still happens, and I get upset but i don't think its nothing to break up over about it. We all look. I look at other guys. I can admit that. So if you see him staring at some girl, just say "go talk to her" lol and see what he do. good luck, w/ ur relationship though!!
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
Same thing here. Haha! If my boyfriend stares at other women. I dare him to get the lady's mobile number and nothing happens! Hahaha! Kind of reverse psychology but if he does, I think i'll be scared out of my wits and whack him. Hahaha!
@dsrp82 (678)
• Brazil
29 Jul 10
yes, you should. he doesnt deserve you!
@eileenleyva (9465)
• Philippines
29 Jul 10
yes!
@hongocha (63)
• Thailand
29 Jul 10
he admitted to his staring at other women then it was over??!! i cant understand you guys. Find a way to solve it or your relationship will end soon and you get hurt. I think you should talk to him face to face, like what he gonna do with that bad habit, is he willing to get rid of it or not...if he promises to try, give him a chance.
@vijayanths (7878)
• India
29 Jul 10
hi,alize, there is absolutely nothing wrong in looking at other women. It's so common among men to look at other women. That does not mean he stopped loving you. What you have to be sure of is whether he cares for you, whether he loves you. This staring matter is not a big problem at all as long as he is having the love and care for you.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
29 Jul 10
It sounds to me like your boyrfriend needs an etiquette lesson. I think you should let him see how much his staring at other women offends you. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Maybe he doesn't realize how he is hurting you. Maybe he is just insecure in the relationship and needs a little nudge in the right direction. If he continues to pay attention to other women in your presence, it might be wise for you to move on. Everyone deserves some happiness.
• India
29 Jul 10
I know its hurt even i also would get hurt if m at your place. But i think there is very rare who don't look at another gals.... But u need to love yourself first, maintain yourself ok
29 Jul 10
All men look at other women, my hubby is the worlds worst for it, but it's if they go further than just looking.
• Philippines
29 Jul 10
Everything can be settled if you talk about it. Like you, I have a boyfriend. We've been together for the last 4 and a half years but still there are turning points that during our 2nd year we broke up. We again ended up being together after realizing that we cannot be happy without each other. He has this girlfriend during the time he was getting me back. I was hurt, ended up crying for a couple of days even though I was not his current girlfriend. I think that every relationship has a turning point that you and your partner will realize a lot of things. Be true to yourself. Tell him what you feel, he will surely understand.
@katie0 (5212)
• Japan
29 Jul 10
How much I hate guys that does that. I was really pissed and my fiance stopped, I just want they do not stare in front of the girlfriends you know. When I see someone outside that has a girlfriend or is married looking at me it is I that don't stop giving the guy a dirty look, they all be afraid of their girls to see that. I don't allow these taken guys to look at me either.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
29 Jul 10
I don't think you will be bothered with your boyfriend's "wandering" eyes, he has still a freedom to roam his eyes since you are not committed yet, though I agree that it is part of being "disloyal", but I guess you cannot dictate his behavior at the moment. Genuine love is always followed by trust and respect, if you have these two factors in the relationship then nothing to worry about. You must trust your boyfriend with all your heart that's the only way of committing deeply into the relationship and make it successful.
@jlamela (4909)
• Philippines
29 Jul 10
I don't think you will be bothered with your boyfriend's "wandering" eyes, he has still a freedom to roam his eyes since you are not committed yet, though I agree that it is part of being "disloyal", but I guess you cannot dictate his behavior at the moment. Genuine love is always followed by trust and respect, if you have these two factors in the relationship then nothing to worry about. You must trust your boyfriend with all your heart that's the only way of committing deeply into the relationship and make it successful.
@pirate451 (152)
• India
29 Jul 10
I always go here and there and I have lots of friends most of them are boys and while I walk and play with them my boyfriend used to stare toward me very badly,why he is doing like that I don't know,may be he thought that I have relation with them but is not that they are just friend only.when he do like that I feel very sad and uncomfortable to talk and look with him,for that I avoid to be a friend with boys but they are not understanding what happen to me and they used to tell me, you are not our girlfriend we are the best friend and why you get afraid with him,please don't go away from our group.He hurt me lot because of my friend but what to do I have to understand in both side.If he do like that than I should leave him from my heart and is better to be away from those person who doesn't give more concern to me.Can you leave your boyfriend and friends?
• Malaysia
29 Jul 10
This reminds me of myself. My ex-girlfriends also complaining about my behavior of staring at another women as well. It's just a habit, same as like what everyone had and everyone had different type of habits. Perhaps staring is one of the habit. By the way, as long as he really love you, that's enough for you to know about how he feel. About habit of staring others, try to make him stop doing that slowly, if you feel annoyed with it.
@simonelee (2721)
• China
29 Jul 10
Boys are naturally born like that. It's their nature to stare in women who attracts them, consciously or unconsciously. Did he told you why he keep staring to her? I'm sure he didn't tell you the truth. For me It's an insult and i will feel less attractive and this thought will wonder me why he keep dating me if he's eyes glued to someone else... you're presence is not enough for him and the chances of cheating is high if you said "yes" to him.
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
29 Jul 10
Must i say that it is simply a thing of plain jealousy? Men like women, want to look at the beautiful things. When we saw something pleasant to the eyes we couldn't resist but appreciate it. Sometimes, it is too beautiful that it seems we can't take our eyes off the thing. However, it doesn't mean that we want to have it for ourselves, right? Let him stare as much as he wants, let him drool over her if he wants to. Don't take it against him. As long as he keeps his hands off her, then, you have nothing to worry about. One day, he will get used to the beauty of the person that he will soon find it too boring and will stare at another one. He will keep on hunting for beautiful sights to behold so do not bother yourself to get really affected. Men are always boys trying to look for toys one after another. Cheers!
@ANIME123 (2473)
• United States
29 Jul 10
I think that you should leave him because he is showing that he is interested in other girls if he's staring at them that's already a bad sign. My friends boyfriend does this and I don't think it's right I told him to not do that or I would tell my friend to dump him ever since that little talk he has stopped looking at girls while I am around. Still I don't know if he still does it why I am not around, but I told my friend to watch her boyfriend and to see if he ever looks at other girls. She now keeps tabs on him. Still I don't know how long they will last together my friend is starting to lose love for him because ever since she found out that he stares at other girls she feels like she doesn't know who he is anymore and is thinking of dumping him. Which I think that is a great idea because he is not being faithful you know and I count that as cheating good luck though. I know that we may be giving you all this advice, but in the end you will have to make the choice of staying with him or not.
• Portugal
28 Jul 10
its your decision about leaving him but for sure what he does is not correct. if he is in love with you why he doesnt stop to stare at that woman? im sorry but if he loved you he wouldnt do that. he could look and think she is pretty but stare always when see her? sorry but that is wrong. you must talk with him and or he stops that or you should find a guy that really loves you^^