Siblings picking on each other...

Whew,at least i am not alone (hahaha) It is really hard to handle situation like that. When my kids were smaller they keep fighting over things,toys,movies to watch and etc. I just ignore them but i make sure i am always on the watch every time they start fighting not to kill each other ugh! I would yell and pick up my slipper to give them something to stop from punching each other. Now they've grown up,they're much behave. Still there is fighting between my 2 sons (aged 14 and 11)but not too much unlike when they are younger. I guess they grow matured and also got shy when i scold them and tell them they are not toddlers anymore. Just give them a break dear,let them fight and afterwards talk to them and tell them it is not right to always have fight with each other. Tell them to love and take care of each other for they're the ones to look after themselves in case we're gone. That's what i always tell my kids. Have a wonderful weekend

put them in chairs facing each other about a foot a part and make them sit and stare at each other. Ok that may not fix it but will be funny for you to watch! hehe How about every time they are mean to each other, they have to do something nice? Be imaginative.

Hi Kats, OMG...I used to hate the fighting and bickering so so much. I had 4 girls and let me tell you, they could be just plain evil towards each other! It didn't end until they were much older. One thing that worked for a short few moments was I would make them all take a break and sit at the table for 5 mins. The rule was they could not touch each other or say a word....just sit there. If one spoke, another 5 mins was added on. 9 to 10 they would end up making faces and giggling before they were done. As they got older, the fights were more serious....clothes, makeup etc and nothing seemed to work. I learned to just block it as long as it wasn't physical. Good luck Kats. Only a few more weeks till school starts and your ears should get a little break!

You must have been reading my mind Kat! OMG that's all my kids have been doing... & it's driving me batty. The hardest is that Dad is basically MIA for 3-4days a week while he's working so it's all on me. My oldest whom is younger than your oldest does try to boss her siblings around. I have no advice.... it was my b-day yesterday and all they were doing is fighting and being disrespectful of EVERYONE... I just wanted to cry. Time outs & turning off the tv only helps a little they are back at it in two shakes. I know someone will suggest get them activities for them to do outside of the house or away from each other but I know I don't have funds for that. I've tried taking DS (2.5yrs) to a park and he ran across a field next to the park & I wiped out trying to get him, not dong that again! They have even started hitting each other in a store the other week, therefore they don't go to the store with them either. So I'm at a loss as to what to do with them til school starts. They were fine til summer school ended.

I can remember the boys arguing bit not getting physical. so I just emailed them all asking if they ever actually hit or threw things at each other. I don't remember it although I do remember Rachel getting so frustrated that she bit one of her brothers on his shoulder and he still has the teeth marks today! He did apologise to her as he said he had been awful to her. I"ll get back to you later but I just thought that they were on the farm a lot with their father at weekends and in the holidays working alongside him so they were probably too tired to fight.Just a thought but I will get back to you on this one

I have 4 kids 13,9,7 and 6. As a parent I noticed what they like the most. My 13 year old likes computers and texting her friends on her phone. When my 13 and 9 year old fight they are both punished. However, both know what the punishment is before hand. For example: If you fight with your brother you will do the dishes by hand for the next month and I will take away your phone. The fighting has cut down by over half. It also taught them Respect, Control and responsibility. Of course they don't know it yet. They just know if they fight there are punished. I hope this helps.

I usually try to separate them get then in separate corners of the house if possible. But with more then two kids. I would be useless..I wouldn't know what to do,besides pulling my hair out..lol. But I have thought..if you have a fight jar or something and every time someone argues or fights they have to put money in it..but then that is assuming they get an allowance or have some money. My sister in law makes the kids hug and tell them they love each other..especially more if she hears them say they hate each other. You could tell them to stop or they don't get any popcorn or goodies when your all watching a movie at home..or that they have to stay in the corner while the movie is on.. But then I would think that any punishment whatsoever would be resented and they would then resent the other sibling. Could make them do dishes or something they hate doing..

Our kids are grown now but what I did when they were younger was send them to their individual rooms. They didn't have a tv, computer or anything to entertain them. They usually fell asleep and when they woke up I asked if they still wanted to argue or fight with their sisters. We have three girls and there was more of the picking and teasing then actually physical hitting or throwing things. Once they discovered that it didn't bother me anymore, they stopped. I think alot of sibling rivelry is done to get the attention of their moms or dads. It's just something kids do to push our buttons. Once I was really mad, they were satisfied. Their job was done, so to speak. I learned to ignore alot of the stuff they said or did to each other's personal items. All I can suggest is to try it and see if anything changes. Good luck, carolbee

I do not have kids at home, and I do not have all the answers. My two, who were three years apart, seemed to do really well together. As far as I know. My daughter says I have selective memory. The bad thing was that for many years I baby sat in the summer. Mostly the same kids every year. By the end of summer I hated children. Then I drove bus in the school year. I even could take them to the Y for classes, etc.That was a stipulation of me watching the families I had, they had to have Y memberships. My husband drove a truck, was gone three weeks at a time. One of the best summers, my MIL would come stay two or three days at a time, and she just really helped me stay calm. The kids were fascinated by her crocheting and cooking and it was one mor grown up to pay attention to them. One summer I had three families, if you count my own, and All of them had an oldest child the same age, it was murder. Here are my suggestions: With the oldest one, treat him with respect, tell him you know he is trying to help and give him positive directions for how to do it, by redirecting, for instance. Reward him in a special way when he can keep the others entertained and not fighting. Just some extra Mom time or a chance to help you go shopping etc. He needs the recognition that he is "older". With the younger two, I would set up some toys or games they can play with ONLY if they are getting along. If there is a fight, tears, hard feelings, the toy or activity goes away. This could be as simple as a special set of blocks, or really fun markers, or bubbles. The point I am making is to identify and reward the behavior you want to see. They all are acting out because it gets MORE attention, so the solution is to treat the unwanted behavior with as little attention as possible and give more attention to the what you want to happen. Make a chart with your expectations. If they meet them most of the time, reward them. Again, the reward should not be monetary or cost you much or anything at all. Rewards at my house were going to the park, or the library, choosing what we would eat for supper. If all three of your kids have a pretty good week, celebrate. It will give them something to look forward to.

If it isn't anything too bad, I just leave it alone. If they're really going at each other, I split them up. If somebody actually hurts somebody else, there is punishment, which usually involves taking away computer, video game or TV time.

It is normal for sibling to fight with each other especially if they are always together. They'd fight over small and big things alike. Sometimes it is really annoying to hear them yelling and even hurting each other. In most cases the fighting ceases as they age but that will only happen under good guidance of parents. To me I handle sibling dispute in diplomatic to corporal way. When the fighting is severe, I always use rod to let them learn good lessons then I'd talk to them and tell them why it is bad for sibling to quarrel. In all cases I never fail to tell them that God wants us to love one another and so how much more if they are siblings they all the more need to love each other.

Just having the two of my own, it isn't typical that the kids pick on each other. However, when I have my nieces, it seems like the picking on each other increases in intensity. So, when my son and the girls pick on each other, I will make them hug and kiss each other and say that they are sorry for the first occurence. If the behavior persists, then I will give the offenders a time out on the couch or the chair. If they still continue I will put them in separate rooms for a time out.

Reading your predicament certainly brings back memories. I have two sons who were born 16 month apart. Now they are 22 and 20 years old and they get along fine, but all the time they were growing up it was a nightmare. My oldest was always very big for his age and hardly a day went by when he would not punch his younger brother for something. I was afraid to step out of the house even for a minute, certain I would find blood on the floor. The worst period was between the ages of 8-10. I felt desperate like you. The only thing that helped somewhat was if a neighbourhood friend came over. They normally behaved much better if friends were around, otherwise they would lose the priviledge of having their friends over. The problem got gradually better when they got into middle school because they both got involved with different after school sports activities. Paolo did archery and Michele played badminton. By the time they were in high school the fights had just stopped.

I guess all moms have this kind of problems but not on the same degree. My 16 year old son likes to tease the younger girls especially my 10 yo who has stronger personality who keeps challenging her big brother. And they've been like this growing up. Big brother has softer personality but he wanted to prove that he is older by being bossy to the younger ones. So the younger ones are frustrated when he does that. They are not physical though but I can hear how they verbally annoy one another until they get into a fighting mode. And that changes the atmosphere in the house. What my husband and I usually do when it this happens is to talk to them one by one. We have to tell the older one to be patient with the younger, and the younger ones to be respectful to their big brother. If they want respect from others, they also have to show respect first. We talk about this every time we are alone with one of them. We have to make each child feel that his/her contribution in making our family happy is very important. It worked for us. Though every now and then they still pick on one another but it gets lesser everyday. I think it's also important that we parents keep ourselves composed when dealing with children's fight. If we lost our temper in front of them, we cannot tell them to be cool with one another. It's easier said than done, but I see good result in our case. Hope this helps a little.

I have the same problem at my house and one of the things that my wife and I do is if one or the other starts a fight or argument no matter who started it they both get into trouble. For us that helps with them being more mad at each other. We also have them do sit-ups when they argue with one another or argue or back-talk one of us. We also have immediate consequences. You think that that might help but for my boys it does not. Maybe one day.

i will take things from them, and they werent allow to do anything at all. no tv, no skating.. my dad used to make us look at each other until we made up. hitting is now i different story, my son would hit his sister i would wear his a$$ out

I brought more children into the house. My son had a group of kids he played board games with and I opened the doors of our house to them, because I knew where they were. My daughter, I had relatively little problems with. She was born with Down's Syndrome and has always been pretty easy going. My son and his friends made themselves her official security guard. There was a huge difference in my children's ages with him being seven years old when she was born. He adored her from the day she came home and she returned the favor. My son's problems came when we moved to a new community and he had to beat up the neighborhood bully to be accepted. It took him a year, but eventually he had had enough and sent the other boy home crying. They became best buddies after that and the bully and his brother were two of the kids at my house every weekend.

Its very hard to manage siblings rivalry. Practising time-outs for both the kids is an option.. That way one will not think that other made him/her punishable. Until they grow older to understand the reality...its very tough.

I only have one daughter but I have a niece the same age as my daughter. They were born Five days appart. They fight alot because they basically are growing up together. When ever they fight either my sister get them or i will get them. My sister will majority of the time just tell the kids to stop fighting or they will go to bed. When its my turn to tell them to stop I normally put them both in time-out and make them huge and explain to them that they love each other and they should not be fighting. They are both three so I understand that age is a very challenging age. Know that I am five months pregnant with our first boy I don't know what to expect with the sibling fighting but im up for the challenge:-)