No matter what the background we are all known as 'users' or 'members' here.

@allknowing (53586)
India
August 1, 2010 7:44am CST
If only you knew the background of all the users here, would you respond to their discussions differently and weigh your words before offering your comments on their responses? Would you have behaved with them differently? Your views please.
7 people like this
31 responses
@dpk262006 (50945)
• Delhi, India
1 Aug 10
Hi All! I would like to say that my views remain the same, even if I happen to know a member, through some other channels. My approach to a topic do not alter regardless of the fact whether I know the member very well. One thing I can add here that if I 'know' a member well, I can write a detailed response so as to help him/her understand any issue in a better sense. Mylot is a public platform, therefore, I post my responses accordingly and see to it no one feels offended by my words.
2 people like this
@allknowing (53586)
• India
1 Aug 10
It is not just a topic and a response to it. It goes further. Not a day passes when someone or the other here is not hurt by the way interaction takes place but if they knew the background of the person I am sure this would be reduced greatly.
@mysdianait (63983)
• Italy
1 Aug 10
"Not a day passes when someone or the other here is not hurt" For some of us allknowing, the opposite is also true. Not a day passes when someone or the other here becomes a new interesting person that we can get to know better.
2 people like this
@Hatley (143476)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Aug 10
hi diana You do pack a lot of wisdom in that yellow face of yours here, he he for a long time I thought that hand on chin was a tongue, then I realized I needed new glasses.I do hope I have never hurt anyone,myself.
@mysdianait (63983)
• Italy
1 Aug 10
I don't alter my way of thinking or my way of talking if I am addressing one person rather than another. My views don't change depending on whether I am speaking with someone from one place or with a different job or education or because they are not from the same country as me. The only thing that might change is the type of words that I use. If I am speaking with a young person, for example, then I might tend to use their style of writing/talking rather than compicated words. My opinion would not be different though just because they were younger rather than older than me.
2 people like this
@allknowing (53586)
• India
1 Aug 10
When a topic is placed before us and we know who it is from I feel it would be differently handled and with caution unlike now where we are much at ease. Users would come in different categories and I get the feeling one will think twice before responding/commenting.
1 person likes this
@mysdianait (63983)
• Italy
1 Aug 10
That is your way of thinking and I respect it but I am perfectly aware that I do not alter no matter who is in front of me. I have already had too many dealings with 'false' people offline. Many people do not need a monitor and a kepboard to be one thing in their own homes nad then put on a show when they are in public. Lotters are not just names on a screen for me. Over time we get to know them through what they write. Those that are real are the ones that leave their mark and are the same here and on other forums and therefore offline too. Are you telling us that offline you are not a complainer?
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Aug 10
LOL! MysD, are you telling me that you treat me exactly the same as you treat everyone else? Here I thought that I was someone special, and now you are telling me that I am just another beautiful purple flower to you? I feel so ... so ... wilted.
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
1 Aug 10
No Allknowing! Irrespective of a person's background I would concentrate on the issue predominantly. Cultural differences do play a part in general outlook but this is only to a limited extent.Whatever the culture, the country is, human beings are the same everywhere. Their thoughts, responses, reactions do have some sort of commonness in them. However, there are some discussions where I cannot totally relate and I won’t answer these. As far as others go, I would say that something is my point of view .I always agree to disagree.I try and be as objective as possible.
2 people like this
@kalav56 (11502)
• India
1 Aug 10
To add something more, I am taken to our school days. Personally the differences amongst all of us never bothered me at all.If there were some group discussion what would our response be? I draw a similarity here too.This is just a common forum where we have all got together to share some ideas and I would not behave differently on account of the circumstances of a person [as far as my responses go]. If I know a person is rude I would not respond.Whether I am able to get along with another person is a totally different question.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (53586)
• India
1 Aug 10
In a classroom kala we are dealing with the peers but here we have a whole lot of different people - the age, education, the status, the gender the works. It will not be the same kala. In an office for example where we have a collection of people of different ages, stuatus or whatever and we deal differently with different people. It will be the same here. This scenario has plus and minus points in that we can interact with ease but some are extremely rude and if they knew that they were being rude to someone who has a position in society or someone who is a senior or whatever I am sure the approach would be different
• United States
1 Aug 10
I have to disagree with you here, Allknowing. I would be exactly the same way in the off-line world as I would be on-line. When I was just starting out in the business world, I was working in an office. My position in the company was not the "lowest", but it definitely was on the lower end of the food chain. I made friends with this guy, and we would go to lunch on a fairly regular basis. Sometimes other people would be there and sometimes it would be just the two of us at the local pizza place or something casual like that. We were just friends nothing more, and he was just a "regular guy". One day I got called into my supervisor's office and asked if I was having lunch with "so and so". I said "yes". She told me that he was one of the most powerful people in the company, and being that I was just a "lowly worker" it was completely inappropriate for me to interact with him on a social level. I said "you are kidding, right?" and she said that she wasn't. I said that he was just a person like everyone else, and who I spent my lunch hour or after work hours with was none of her business. Did finding out that he was rich and powerful change how I interacted with him? Nope, not in the least. I still told him when he was full of crap. I still punched him in the arm when he deserved it, and I still told him when his jokes were too "corny". In fact, I soon found out that all the people that I was hanging out with were pretty high up in the company, and the only thing being around them did for me was inspire me to further my education, so that I could do better as well. I never did move up too high in that organization, but I did make some really good friends - probably because I saw them as people and not as a "position" or a dollar amount.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (143476)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Aug 10
hi allknowing in time if you keep responding to some of your mylot friends you do get to know their background and I find I respond just about the same as I did to start with, as I have accumulated a little wisdom in my' many years of life.lol The only thing that makes me change is finding I am responding in a female way to whom I thought was another woman only to discover that she was he, and had been very patient with me for making feminine replies that could have been irritating to a very masculine male. lol so I wish everyone would do as I did put down your gender so we do not come over all feminine to a very masculine male or vice versa.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Aug 10
For the record, Hatley, my gender is not on my profile, but I am definitely a girl ... just in case you were wondering or had any doubts.
@mysdianait (63983)
• Italy
1 Aug 10
Hatlòy I think it is a question of attitude. If you want to get to know someone on here then you can. If you consider that everyone is just a name on a screen and not acting as they really are (possibly because you are doing exactly the same yourself ) then you will never get to know anyone at all I can certainly 'feel' who is real and who I would love to know better
1 person likes this
@Hatley (143476)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Aug 10
hi purple I knew at once you were a girl cause mostly girls like purple and Diana I know you are right, as I look at my mylot friends as real friends, hope I don't sound mushy but I have had some wonderful discussions and responses from friends all over the world, and sometimes'I can sort of picture them in my mind.Yes its all attitude as these friends to me are living flesh and blood, and a lot of them I would love to know a lot better.One person here whom I have not heard from in a long time was so worried about me as I was gone 11 months that he ev en called long distance. to me that was so sweet and heart warming too. He knew I had has some health problems.
1 person likes this
@ram_cv (16516)
• India
1 Aug 10
Generally I would not really worry about it. Because my responses are my own and are not based on to whom I am replying. But if I find that user's response is offending, then I do check out the profile of the user to see if I want to continue the discussion with that user or just drop out. If I find that the offending user has been responding similarly in other discussions, then I would stop responding to such user's discussions. Cheers! Ram
2 people like this
@allknowing (53586)
• India
1 Aug 10
Here we are discussing issues and in the process we interact with each other and we do it with ease as dealing with strangers is much easier than interacting with people whom we know. You have said that you are merely giving your response. It goes beyond just a response as a whole lot of information is exchanged with users and it will never be the same if we know who we are dealing with. It is not always that the information given in the profiles is accurate as in some cases even the gender is false.
2 people like this
@ram_cv (16516)
• India
2 Aug 10
Unfortunately, that is something with which we need to live with in the digital world. This is a common issue in all the networking sites. That is why it is advised not to dole out any sensitive information. Cheers! Ram
@allknowing (53586)
• India
2 Aug 10
Even after interacting for months one cannot categorically say that he/she knows the person. It is a great risk that one takes in doling out personal information even after one has exchanged countless messages. This may not be true for all but one bad experience is good enough to remember forever.
@AutumnGold (1062)
1 Aug 10
Hello Allknowing. Regardless of our backgrounds, upbringing, financial status, views or beliefs we're all equal. I talk the same to a company director as I do to a road sweeper, they're both human beings and just because one has a better job and maybe a better background it doesn't necessarily make them a better person. In a way it's good that we don't know each others backgrounds because there are prejudiced people around who would look down on less fortunate ones. I'm happy to share my views with anyone regardless of their background.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (53586)
• India
2 Aug 10
Here we are giving suggestions/opinions/advice/imparting knowledge. Different backgrounds assimilate that differently. When I say background it covers everything even their level of understanding.
@ddaguno (3110)
• Philippines
1 Aug 10
That's what I like about myLot. I don't know anybody personally so I can say what I want and what I feel as long as i know i am being polite. But logging in everyday, you tend to get a bit of some of the lotters personality, so you know the ones who you can share a joke with, or the ones who like serious answers to their discussion.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (53586)
• India
1 Aug 10
Just as well we do not know anyone here personally as I am quite sure we would change our way of dealing with them if we knew them and that would indeed be a stumbling block. But at the same time those who do not mince words would I am sure weigh what they would say.
@sagar21 (1583)
• India
1 Aug 10
I do respect all myLotters...despite their background... If I come to know someone's background....It'll still be the same... we need no partiality here..only friends.... friends of all age groups.. share..what we feel.. thanks to myLot... thanks for the topic.... have a great day/night....
@saphrina (31744)
• South Africa
1 Aug 10
Really??
@sagar21 (1583)
• India
1 Aug 10
Nope..Its more virtually....
@saphrina (31744)
• South Africa
1 Aug 10
@saphrina (31744)
• South Africa
1 Aug 10
Sweetie, to me background, culture and all that goes with it, is not IMPORTANT. It is the person who needs advice or some cheering up that is important to me. My background will make you faint. TATA.
@sagar21 (1583)
• India
1 Aug 10
Eww ..I want to puke...no am I'm fainting....???
@saphrina (31744)
• South Africa
1 Aug 10
You will do more than puke sweetie. I can give you some serious nightmares. Faint won't help this time.
@sagar21 (1583)
• India
1 Aug 10
"Mrs.Freddy krueger"....oh..I'm scared....dad...mom....
• India
1 Aug 10
As long as we do not know them personally, we all are virtual friends here. Once you meet them they turn real. A kind of bond is established between them. You begin to treat them with love and respect. It does make a lot of difference. You are careful not to disagree just to assert yourself, you are careful not to hurt their feelings.
@mysdianait (63983)
• Italy
1 Aug 10
You think that we cannot treat each other with love and respect unless we meet in person?
1 person likes this
• India
1 Aug 10
May be I would but there was a person here who was abusing me throughout my interaction with him. Would he still do it, had he know me personally? He was able to do so only because he had not revealed his identity.
@mysdianait (63983)
• Italy
1 Aug 10
I agree that some people are more or less 'real' when they are online but I also believe that we do not have to meet to get to know what our true characters are. I have got to know severl Lotters, first here in the discussions, then in emails and we evne speak often on the phone. We have not physically met but nothing will chsnge when we do, unless we become evn more attached than we already are. If a person is going to be abusive online then I feel that is their real nature and they will be the same offline too. It is difficult to keep up a charade for very long.
1 person likes this
@TexLadyPj (1329)
• United States
2 Aug 10
Herro allknowing What a vast array of responses, although most seem to say be polite and respectful. As I read the discussion and responses I attempt to look for a different perspective in my response. I don't look at profile until we become friends and even then I usually forget the profile, unless we have interacted a lot here at mylot. I do my best to be respectful, even if the responder is impolite. I believe that two wrongs do not make a right. If I cannot be respectful, I will usually skip the discussion. As I get to know a person (poster) here through questions asked and responses, my answer may be in more detail. Did I miss anything? Prosperous mylotting
@allknowing (53586)
• India
2 Aug 10
It is not just about being emotional but a gamut of other issues. Understanding a user here without knowing the 'abc' of what a user is we could for all you know be interacting with a wrong 'person' saying things that do not interest the user but politeness and respect could be the only reasons that one would desists from saying so. I have done that!
@sagar21 (1583)
• India
2 Aug 10
hmm interesting.... it seems you're not sure about yourselves....politeness or respectfulness is not that matters....I'm not saying that it doesn't matter at all but an honest answer/opinion...that's what all myLotters expect..... anyone with any background can be honest...can't they....?? thanks ...
@TexLadyPj (1329)
• United States
2 Aug 10
Herro sagar21 Interesting perspective. I do not associate polite or respectful with not being honest. You can be honest and still be respectful. I have a counseling background and honesty is part of my training and personalty. I guess that is the bottom line, my first response is honesty, then how to frame it with respect. Prosperous mylotting
@TheCatLady (4697)
• Israel
2 Aug 10
I admit, sometimes I do. When the prose seems bad or awkward or the ideas are strange to my western mind, I check to see where the person is from. If they are not a native English speaker I give them a lot more leeway.
@allknowing (53586)
• India
2 Aug 10
Unfortunately profiles do not always tell the true story. Also it does not necessarily follow that those who are not from an English speaking country, need more leeway. English is an international language which has spread its wings far and wide. You will be surprised therefore how this language has been grasped by whoever has an access to it even sometimes better than those who come from an English speaking country!
• Israel
2 Aug 10
Maybe not, but I get annoyed at sloppy writing. Typos happen, but the only excuse for really poor grammar is a lack of fluency in a language. There are also cultural differences. By checking were a person is from explains part of their mindset. I'm an Italian American living in Israel. Some things that are acceptable and normal for one culture not to others. An example is; using your hands to eat. Filipinos will eat rice with their hands were Americas won't. Americans will eat chicken with their hands were Italians won't. One isn't better. Different cultures have different norms.
@allknowing (53586)
• India
2 Aug 10
Gone are the days Catlady when one could proudly announce a particular system or culture being one's own. That is history now as with so much of intermingling of cultures - thanks to technology - people adopt what they like from whichever country and make it their own. This is my observation. Take music for instance about which I need not elaborate! And with so little information that can be gathered from profiles one cannot say with certainty that one has enough knowledge about a user to be able to do justice to ones responses or comments.
@lacieice (2065)
• United States
1 Aug 10
I don't think I woild respond differently if I knew the person. In fact, it's just as well that I don't. We all are just members here. We all have our own opinions and we state them, which is what keeps mylot going. I don't really think background really has a lot to do with what is posted here, except for the fact that there are different cultures, and we need to be tolerant of that.
@allknowing (53586)
• India
2 Aug 10
Not just different cultures, different emotional levels too. Some get offended at the drop of a hat and if users knew that fact they would be careful while posting responses/comments.
@lacieice (2065)
• United States
2 Aug 10
Absolutely true, along with other factors as well. Add to that the written word has no tonal messages or inflections, and we have the potential to aggrivate almost every member of mylot. So, if we take all those factors into considertion, perhaps we shouldn't post at all?
@allknowing (53586)
• India
2 Aug 10
Notwithstanding all what you have said and rightly so, you will see that posting works here no matter what!. So laciece - post unabatedly! and take things in your stride if you can.
@lkbooi (16102)
• Malaysia
3 Aug 10
Hi allknowing, I'm always here in a hurry during my spare time. I never check the background of the writer before answering their discussions. When I come across any interesting topic which I have lots ideas and feeling to write I then would express what I know or share my experience or whatever with them in the usual way. might be I'm still a learner in using this language and I yet have to improve my writing skill by having more reading and writing practicing to enhance my language. I need more vocabularies, etc to polish my posts according to the need. Happy posting
@allknowing (53586)
• India
7 Aug 10
There is a big difference dealing with the known and unknown. Here we all are trying our best to interact hoping what we contribute is of use to them.
1 person likes this
@lkbooi (16102)
• Malaysia
7 Aug 10
We meet people here via the mutual interaction chatting on topics which interest one another. The more interaction we involve in the topics with the same people the more info we could acquire from the posts about them I suppose. Might be I would chat with a person in the different way if he or she is a friend whom I'm quite familiar with in real life. For I know what's his or her like or dislike very well. And I of course I would have all kind of ridiculous jokes relaxingly when writing comment here Happy posting
@kiran8 (13134)
• Mangalore, India
16 May 11
Hi allknowing, What you say does make sense, knowing a person and the background would definitely make some difference. But again, here when we interact with people over a period of time, we become friend and our responses to a friend would be different to that of other members who may be new or not so well known to us . However,when someone responds to a discussion created by you, I tend to look at the response and comment accordingly ! have a nice day
@allknowing (53586)
• India
16 May 11
This is particularly true when some topics on personal matters need responding.
28 Oct 10
I don't think I would. It's hard to say, if I found out something shocking I think would effect me but it wouldn't always mean I would act differently. I really feel we should try to get on, forgive and forget. If a serial killer was posting here, then I would of course act differently. I know people are different but I wouldn't want to mistreat one, where as another actually deserved to be avoided or treated differently.
@allknowing (53586)
• India
29 Oct 10
It is not the question of mistreting anyone but responding differently if we knew who we are talking to.
@Hatley (143476)
• Garden Grove, California
7 Aug 10
hi allknowing but we do sort of learn the backgrounds of some of our friends here and I do not think I treat them much differently as I am 'always trying to be kind to others no matter what. thats the way I was brought up and how I learned from my religion to treat others. Of course if someone insults me I do not fight I just hit the exclamation point and report the same. This is very rare here however.Most people are very kind here and make it so much fun to be here.
@allknowing (53586)
• India
7 Aug 10
When a topic is created and we try to respond may be if we knew the person we would do better justice to it as not many will come back and tell us if they have understood or whether the response given was of any use to them. When we know a person and we start a discussion it will certainly be on a different plane apart from ofcourse as you said if someone were to insult anyone one would be extra careful if they knew the person. Just a thought.
@ybong007 (6659)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I would but reality is i don't have the time to check the person's background before i post my comments. Besides, what ever i post in the discussion are purely my own opinion and as long as it is not hurtful then i don't think a background check is necessary. But you're right, the background of the person matters event hough you don't know that person personally. The longer you stay here, members tend to develop some kind of a perception to that member and it definitely affects others members comments.
@allknowing (53586)
• India
3 Aug 10
It is particularly necessary when an issue concerning the individual's personal problem needs attention. What we write is only based on the topic raised. May be if one is really interested in helping the user one could invite the user as a friend and then ask for details. But our approach to any activity here would certainly be influenced if we knew the users and about getting to know them with constant interaction this may not be always true.
• Boston, Massachusetts
3 Aug 10
Hi Allknowing, Whatever is deemed appropriate for the discussion will be my reaction. It will be a reflection of what I truly think and feel about the topic. I don’t usually go for “hot” topics here. I don’t want to stress my life with such thoughts and feelings. Mylot is fun and a stress free site for me.
@allknowing (53586)
• India
3 Aug 10
Even for me myLot is a stress buster. But it was just my thought that when we are responding to particularly, issues that concern the problem of the user concerned not knowing the user our responses could be different from had we known the user.
• United States
2 Aug 10
It would not make any difference at all to my responses. My responses/comment are my uninfluenced honest opinions and knowing a person's background would not change my opinion.
@allknowing (53586)
• India
3 Aug 10
In real life for example we would certainly deal differently with different people even if the topic that we would be discussing would be the same. I am sure you will agree with me on this!