Ex-GF/BF are you still affected?

Philippines
August 2, 2010 7:30am CST
I've seen my ex-boyfriend in one of the social networking sites and he already has a baby... It's a cute baby boy... I don't know... all the while I thought that I wouldn't be affected anymore but then theres still something that makes me sad... He was my last BF and i never tried to have one after him... I know I should not react this way since he already have his own family... I should be happy for him... If you were to be ask, would you be affected upon seeing your ex? or in what way should you be affected?
14 responses
@ptower76 (1619)
• United States
3 Aug 10
It is normal to have feelings for that lost love, especially when you see that they have moved on with their lives. But the fact that you have not even tried to have another relationship may reflect that you have not truly gotten over your loss. Every time we experience loss we go through a grieving process that is longer for some than for others. Perhaps that sadness was a final realization of the loss and you can now move on. I have happily seen my ex's move on and have children and grandchildren. I am happy for them because i have accepted my loss.
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
And that's what I should do now... accept what I've lost... thank you for the great advice. :)
@will_win (222)
• India
3 Aug 10
Its depends on us or for everyone ,at the very first time i will feel little bit sad but after seeing with his family,i will be happy.why to bother other ...........let him be with his family.
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I don't have other intentions... I just came across his profile since he's a friend of a friend... and saw his picture... I won't do anything bad... He has a cute little one... I'll be happy for him...
@diogz22 (516)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Hmmm it looks like monaquezada is still in love with your ex? You should not have felt that way if you are totally over your ex-boyfriend. Somewhat you still have feelings for that guy since you have allotted a time to view his profile. You have to move on now especially that he have his own family.
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I really have to move on now... and should be happy for him... Thanks to you! :)
@eurekafemme (5881)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
Well, that depends. If I have gotten over with the guy, I would not be as affected as with someone I still am having feelings with.I am still talking to my ex, but during the first time we talk after the break up I was just excited to hear from him but no sad feelings were felt. I love my husband and my family now. So, I don't feel any sadness reconnecting with him again. In your case, it is maybe because, you haven't found the man who can make you feel the way your bf did. Though, you might have broken up with him, subconsciously, you are still having that feelings for him. Eventually, when you find happiness in the arms of another man, you can only feel gratefulness towards him,not that sad feelings anymore. Be happy for him, though and as for yourself, try to consider opening your heart to other person. Goodluck, Mona.;-)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Great advice... We'll maybe you are right, I just haven't seen the man for me thats why I'm still affected with the things bout my ex... I just hope , I can open my heart for another man soon. Thank you eurekafemme ! :)
• United States
2 Aug 10
I know how you feel. My last relationship ended in June of 2008 so it has been over 2 years since we split up. I have only dated a few times since then and nothing serious. I remember hearing he had a new girlfriend a year after we split up and being devastated. I still have very strong feelings for him. I still have faith that I will be able to let it go and move on someday...the trouble is that I just can't see that day happening anytime soon. I know that my guy hasn't moved on either. I think that makes it harder for me because I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him. If and when he does move on it will be hard for me, but I will be happy for him because I want him to be happy.
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Yah, I think the best thing to do is to be happy for the guy... so that we'll be able to go on with our lives..
@ivygrey (550)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
somehow i think that it is ok to get affected, especially if you still have feelings for him, it really depends, how long have you been apart from each other? if it's just few months or just few years and you probably haven't moved on, obviously because you are not having any relationships at all,. I think when I finally found my husband i totally forgot all feelings I had with my previous and whenever i See my Exes on Facebook.,I just felt nothing at all. It was just nice to see what are they up to now. you will soon forget him just learn to accept the fact that he and you are not really meant for each other if you do that you would open your heart for new relationships and would not reason out that you are just not in the mood to have relationships. Life is good. love again!
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I hope I can love again... soon...
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
maybe it wasn't because you still love him or something, but maybe more of just wondering what might have been if the two of you didn't break up. As they say, there's always a part of the past that we want to have back, but on the other hand, we could never get what we have today if we didn't let go of such yesterday. It is normal that we feel sad sometimes when we look back, anyway, he was once the man that you loved, so somehow the space that he occupied once will still have a spot, but not necessarily because you are not over him, just a soft spot that will forever be marked...
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
the moment i saw that photo of him carrying his baby, it made me sad... and made me remember the times that we're together... maybe it's the soft spot that you are saying.. thank you... :(
• India
2 Aug 10
Yes its happened, I understand. But u should be happy seeing him living happily with his family. But i am sure u would hopefully will forget him when u meet your Mr.right. So chill and keep going ahead.
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
yah.. I hope so.. and you're right I should be happy for him... Thanks! :)
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
3 Aug 10
Hi monaquezada, Your reaction to see your ex-boyfriend and his family in one of the social networks is perfectly natural. Perhaps you still have some regrets about the breakup and still have some residual romantic feelings for the guy. The fact that he has move on with his life, while you are still without a new relationship, should tell you that it is time for you to let the past be just that,the past. I don't know how long it has been since you broke up with your boyfriend or how soon after the breakup he got involved with another girl and now they have a cute baby boy together, but it is evident that he is not sitting somewhere pining away for his lost love, you. The sooner you decide to move forward with you love life, the sooner these feelings of of sadness will be replaced my happy ones. Your happy brain and heart will said, "Joe (or what ever his name is) who?" Don't let one failed relationship keep you from finding the right guy to love you. Love yourself.
@cachehit (166)
• China
3 Aug 10
i think you have something uncertain in your heart to your ex-bf
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
It depends on what is your feelings for him. If you still love him, of course you'll be affected and wish that you are his special someone right now. But in my case, I am so contented with my present boyfriend (soon to be husband), and seeing my ex won't affect me a little.
@nancy0618 (477)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
we can not the deny the fact that somehow we are still affected because we had been together for quite a time. even if we do not see them, and again bumped into sometime in the future, there is this feeling inside us, i just do not know how to explain
• Czech Republic
2 Aug 10
for me..if i still love my ex..then i will be affected..
@kimkim888 (145)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
Not at all... Once its over its over... i also wanted to move on.