hmmm...does it bother you?

United States
August 2, 2010 10:23am CST
How does it make you feel when you add a friend here on mylot and then you get a message in your inbox asking you to join up on their site? I guess I'm kinda funny or a lot more social. Or perhaps I am just not a trusting type of person! I need relationship before I just jump into stuff. I mean for crying out loud, at least say "hi" first! Does this bother you as well or is it all just "part of the job?"
5 people like this
21 responses
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
2 Aug 10
I signed on and got three this morning from the same person. I politely declined saying that I am too busy to do more than I am doing now and I thanked the sender.. Then a few hours later, I got another one, same sender, same message. This time I went to their profile because they had a 0 next to their name and sure enough, they never started a post or replied to one, but had signed up 5 days ago.. So I replied back and told them what I found and told them they can put their referral link on their profile, but this is a forum, a place to discuss things, not to get referrals..And I asked them to not send me anymore messages..If they do, I will delete them because after a couple denials, you'd think they would get the hint..
• United States
2 Aug 10
That's what I am talking about.. they have sent me two already and never done a post here on mylot. I wonder if we can report them somehow?
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 10
I don't know, that is an interesting idea, I can ask a friend who will know if we can.
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
3 Aug 10
We definately can report them. They are not here for the purpose that myLot was created for but for their own interests Use this link: http://www.mylot.com/o/contactus.aspx There is a drop-down menu. Go right to the bottom to 'OTHER' and wait for the box to open and then write out the problem with a link to the profile of the user concerned. MyLot will deal with them, and if they have several complaints it probably won't take long.
1 person likes this
@PDBME2 (1014)
• United States
2 Aug 10
I guess it bothers me too. The first time I got one I didn't mind but then you realize that alot of people make offers like that if you accept them as a friend. I really don't have much time to join all these websites. I know whoever tells you to join gets something and good for them. I guess it's all business to the person who added you on.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Aug 10
yeah, and I pretty well add anyone who asks! I don't think I have turned down even one friend request! It's all a part of mylot! - getting to know everyone and how the whole system works.
@redkathy (3374)
• United States
2 Aug 10
When I first started using myLot it bothered me immensely when someone sis a friend request just for gain. I approved every request no matter what and still do. In a short time however, I learned that the majority of people are on myLot to gain exposure elsewhere as well. Realizing that was a big help. I see it now as networking first and friends second. After some time friends categorize on their own
2 people like this
• United States
2 Aug 10
You are right, they do categorize on their own!I am not too bothered by it as I realize in simplicity we are all here to make a buck. I have found some sites myself through contacts here. But at least say "hi" first!
• United States
2 Aug 10
I can't say that I have had a problem with that here on MyLot. I am still new and I just got my first MyLot friend today. However, I do experience things like that on other social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace. I just ignore these things. On other sites people play a lot of games and there are rewards in the games for increasing the amount of people who play the game with you. I do not play the games so I do not respond to the requests. It just shows that we aren't all here for the same reasons. The requests don't bother me, but they do tell me what a person is interested in. I just like to talk to people, that is why I am here.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Aug 10
me too! I like visiting with people and I like to learn from others and about their cultures! So I delete messsages like that. The sites I have found that I am on now to make money I find through general conversations! Then if I want I can go to someone for the link and give them the referral!
• United States
2 Aug 10
I don't think its right for users to spam their friends with referral links in PMs, I wouldn't send anyone a referral link unless they're interested in a website that I'm on, but to just do that to your friends is annoying, and I wouldn't send people referral links because I don't want to annoy people and possibly get in trouble with MyLot for being a PM spammer.
2 people like this
• United States
2 Aug 10
Yeah, I hear ya! I have found some good legit sites through plain ole everyday discussions. Especially in the making extra money topics. I always try to get someone to refer me so that they get the credit!
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
lol... i just had this experience. i just ignored the invite to visit the link they gave me anyway. call me a snob but i think that people who could not even care to say hi or something equivalent to that are users, users who cannot wait for you to become their referrals. am i being mean? lol! did they just invite us so they can earn money? wink wink ****
2 people like this
• United States
2 Aug 10
I hear ya!! I usually just trash the message.
@DavidJan (15)
• United States
2 Aug 10
I added lots of friends here but never received such invitations.I think you are right, don't trust those people or websites
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 10
Oh yeah, it definitely smells like scam to me!
• United States
3 Aug 10
Lately, I have been getting a bunch of friend requests from users with ZERO posts. I am (naturally) suspicious of these requests, but I accept them anyway. Several of them have followed the FR with a spam to join this site or that site and included their referral link. There have even been ones that have put their e-mail, so that I can e-mail them and they will give me more information regarding other sites. I have reported all of them, and I hope this sends a loud and clear message to them that this is NOT acceptable. It is bad enough when I have gotten spammed by users that I have interacted with on the boards, which I did not report but told them that I did not appreciate it either, but somehow I think that the ones that do not even bother to post on the boards and yet just spam everyone are even worse.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 10
Yep! I hear ya! It's kinda amazing that people can get on here and just think others are going to sign up under them without knowing them at all! I guess maybe they end up making more money than I do!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 10
LOL! If they are actually making more money than us, I might consider it except for two things. First, I really wouldn't want to annoy people the way that they are annoying others. Second, I am not a member of any other sites, so I really do not have any referral links to spam. I guess that I could join a few just so that I would have some, but then I would have to go back to my first point.
• United States
2 Aug 10
It doesn't bother me at all...why should it? This is a networking site...we can socialize in the discussions or through pm's. I guess maybe I look at it differently as I have been earning online for many years and have always had to deal with this. I really don't see the problem...there are so many discussions on how to earn on myLot everyday...you may open your messages and find your dream site....if it really bothers you just delete them. Or you could change the situation into a win-win situation...reply politely with your website or blog link at the bottom. People need to realize that in order to build your networks...you need to be friendly...I have found you get much further with open arms....
• United States
2 Aug 10
Well, you make a couple of very valid points. However, the point is that they aren't "socializing" just trying to get us on their site. It's like when a friend invites you out to a nice meal and once you get there you realize it is a sales pitch dinner. You were expecting friendship and fellowship!
• United States
2 Aug 10
That is how a lot of people just starting out try to get referrals. It is up to us who have been at it a lot longer to help guide them in the right direction. It only takes a moment to look at a program or give their blog a quick once over...but what we reply to them could help them in the long run.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 10
It might, but then there are those who won't listen either! It takes a lot of wisdom to lead people...
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
3 Aug 10
I normally delete and ignore such messages, sweetie. I add them as friends, but i only tolerate so much in 3 months. Either you work with us on mylot or you get deleted from my list. I only have so much patience. TATA.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 10
I am with you on that one Saphrina!! Gotta remember to delete 'em!
@saphrina (31552)
• South Africa
3 Aug 10
Hope they will learn through that, sweetie.
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
3 Aug 10
When I read a similar discussion as yours here before, it did not really bother me cause I had not experienced it. I just got three messages yesterday from the same member asking me to join, this member point is zero (0). Yes, it bothers me now, but I just ignored it.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 10
I can ignore for a little bit. I just think they should at least be participating.
@jennyze (7029)
• Indonesia
3 Aug 10
yes, they should at least participating here, then we can judge if it is beneficial to join.
2 Aug 10
I was in your shoe gurl. yeah! your right mostly I asked that kind of question because it should be reasonable enough to send something like that and it will caught you by surprised but for a reason at all they should have been sensitive to ask the person they are sending if its alright for that matter well at least asked first. anyway people are not alike in perceptions and opinions that's what we are in many ways the differences that some sort of things will be discuss. have a nice day! take care.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 10
And of course our differences are what keeps all the discussions interesting!
@hongocha (63)
• Thailand
3 Aug 10
oh, i feel sorry to hear that, people usually care aout what they can benefit from you than about yourself. because maybe they think everything here is just virtual and there is no need to be friend with anyone. so, don't let it upset you, ignore them. good luck
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 10
I have just ignored them. i am thinking that I will report them next time since I know that this is an option that is available. I didn't know I could do that!
• United States
3 Aug 10
I know exactly what you mean. I have not even been a MyLotter for long but I have experienced this. I don't even think this is a good line of work, because I'm paranoid and assume most places are scams or ridden with viruses. Establishing a relationship with me would get me to join under someone's referral link, not a message with a link it in. For all I know, you're trying to scam me! I've never been won over with those things, and I've never done it myself. Perhaps that's why I always have trouble getting referrals.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 10
That's why I never ask people for referrals. I only make what i can make on the sites I work on!
@rosekiss (30380)
• Eugene, Oregon
2 Aug 10
It doesn't bother me, as I just end up deleting the message anyway. The thing of it is, I think in a way it is very rude to do that. I think they need to ask first before they post a link to their site in pm's I don't do that to others, but I sure do get it done to me. You are right though, that it is basically the new users who are doing it, as they are trying really hard to get referrals I guess. Now, there are some sites that are okay, but others that I wouldn't even consider. I will just let them know if I am interested or not, and if I am I will join, otherwise I won't. The best thing they can do is just post links in their profile and if users are interested in joining, they will, I would much rather check profiles and join that way, instead of someone messaging me to join a site of theirs. Good luck to you and happy mylotting.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 10
I guess what annoys me second most is the fact that they have not participated at all in mylot discussions. They don't know that we are a community and watch out for each other! They need to participate on some level and then the referral links wouldn't be too offensive. just smells like scam to me!
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
2 Aug 10
No it doesn't bother me at all because I'm not really paying attention to the invites to join. I just accept their friend's request but that's all to it. (Opps! Sorry to my 'friends' who did this whom I have ignored...) Thing is, I don't want to offend them and I'd like to believe that they add me in good faith but I don't want to join anymore sites.... I hope they will not take it against me if they don't receive any reply from me.... Have a great day, Mac.:-)
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 10
I just go ahead and delete the message. I only join sites that are genuinely interesting to me. I am not looking for any more as I have enough to do already. However, I am open to honest suggestions. But this is abusive!
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
2 Aug 10
I am always happy to accept a new friend here. I get a little discouraged when I get a message to join another site under my new friend. I have to wonder if i was only added for that reason. We should accept friends because we wanr to make new friendships here. isn't that what it's all about?
• United States
2 Aug 10
That is what it is all about! I usually add anyone who asks, mostly to be "friendly"! But that is borderline abuse if you ask me. (but of course no one asked me, I asked ya'll! )
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
I have been receiving those emails for many times already but not offense to those who are sending them, I think I have joined so many sites already and i think joining another will be bothersome for me. Anyway, as of now I am not interested in those messages and i dont have enough time to read it.
1 person likes this
@nangisha (3496)
• Indonesia
13 Aug 10
Hi Mac!. I had many PM like that, At first it really big matters because only one or two people sent me message like that but the more I got friend the more I got PM like thats. Its tend to bothers me a little bit, I learn to ignored and I rarely open my message box at mylot.
• Portland, Oregon
13 Oct 18
Maybe it's just me, but I don't let it bother me. It's not worth the time to even think about, so I just move on knowing they are not doing themselves any good and it won't take more than a second to forget I ever saw them. It could take several minutes to report them and it won't change a thing, so I might as well go do something worthwhile.