August 2, 2010 1:13pm CST
Do you think conformity is the best way to save a marriage?
2 Aug 10
Marriages in my idea are to be worked on, not to be saved. The ideal is not to reach a point of almost sinking. A marriage starts before you actually get married. It might even start before you meet Mr. right or the girl of your dreams. It starts with learning about yourself and respecting and loving what you are enough as to not hide it from anyone. That way, whoever comes along will see the real you, not a mask. And you can demand the other person to be as true as you are. Marriage then is between two real human beings and when trouble arises you can talk about it in earnest. That way the word conformity would not even be mentioned.
3 Aug 10
What if things are not plausible if the two of you would separate? Like for example, if the two of you are dependent on each other for the sake of having a good life even though you couldn't agree on almost all things, will you not succumb to conformity? Just like a husband and wife working in shift for day and night, their existence together makes their lives more easy. However they do not and can not stand each other when it comes to being together or loving one another.
4 Aug 10
I don´t have the experience as I had a very good marriage. But with my temper I would have prefered a not so good life as money goes because I firmly believe in the quality of life. And I also think that, when you must do something, you do it. So that I know that I would not starve by being alone. But that, again, is in my country. I am retired with a small pension. I live very frugally because I don´t like to depend on anyone. But I like to have vacations and I work a lot online and save all that money for vacations. What I mean is: I can do anything I set myself to do it. And I would not want to sleep with an enemy to have an easier life because that life would be harder for me.
2 Aug 10
See,... I do and I don't at the same time. No one likes to conform but some are so adept at hiding conformism that they even hide it for themselves. Conformism works only for these people. For others like me, my answer will be no. Conformism is no way to save a marriage if you are honest. Many people become conformists to save their children from the complexities of the divorce of his/her parents but they fail to perceive that the frequent quarrels and shouting have an equally profound if not worse effect on the child. Imagine Daniel Quaid in the next James Bond Movie showing himself as a double agent( he was actually in KGB employ all along).Isn't that ridiculous? It is but then so is conformism. You are doing something which you do not believe in. You are pretending and so does a double agent. My answer is YES provided our hypothetical Bond movie is a box-office success In case anyone has the guts to make that kind of movie of course)
3 Aug 10
I think you are talking about Daniel Craig, the new 007 in the Bond Series. Well that will be an interesting turn of events in the Bond Movie. Having the main protagonist as the main antagonist is something that you wouldn't see in films now a days. A definite watch if you are going to ask me. As to the conformity issue, It's not that the two person are frequently quarreling or having a bad influence to their children. Heck we could hypothesize that they do not have any children at all. I'm just asking if it is possible for two individual to have a good sound marriage based on conformity alone.
4 Aug 10
Hi Aidorm, Yes- you are right. I meant Daniel Craig in "Casino Royale'. Sorry about that goof-up. Now, coming back to the subject matter,to answer your question" I think it is necessary to define what is a ' good sound marriage'" in the first place...now, if the question is "can two individuals live together and have a good, sound relationship based on conformity alone", then my answer is yes, it is possible. But once you bring in marriage, the whole shebang gets kind of complex-if you know what I mean! NB::Thanks for the friend request approval