Talking to a brick wall

August 2, 2010 1:55pm CST
Since I've been coming on here I've developed a little habit, I quite often talk to myself. Yes I sit here typing away and all the time I'm just talking to a brick wall, as we say here. Does it bother you when you give a good answer on a discussion and it doesn't get a reply? Do you feel like you've wasted your time? Surely when people start a discussion they should have the decency to reply to the responses. I know most people do reply but a lot don't and it's not just the new members who do it
4 people like this
18 responses
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
2 Aug 10
This is a personal Mylot pet peeve of mine too, and you are right it's not just new members who have done this! You take the time and effort to respond to a discussion then NOTHING! As though you are being ignored. Your opinion is not appreciated. If you start a discussion surely you want to see it through, you know respect people for taking the time to respond, Mylot is a discussion side, so discuss! It does seem to be one sided. I have principles in that I endeavour to reply to everyone when possible, especially if they have taken a lot of time and effort in their reply, however one or two liners I don't always respond too, or the inane, or responses that have nothing to do with my discussion and even the rude ones I ignore, but failing that it's only courtesy to respond to anyone friend, old member or new alike. That's what makes this site friendly. Personally I wouldn't bother responding again if someone kept ignoring my responses, their loss, not mine!
2 Aug 10
Hello Wolfie. I didn't realise so many people did this until I looked thought my "responded to" discussions a few days ago. It does feel like we've been ignored, we wouldn't let someone talk to us in real life then just get up and walk away without answering them so it should be the same online, it's still a person. Courtesy goes a long way and like you I won't respond again if they don't reply at all. It would be a fairly boring site if no one replied, like you say that's what makes it enjoyable
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
9 Aug 10
Thank you for best response, very much appreciated ;0)
@mysdianait (63977)
• Italy
2 Aug 10
It does... and it doesn't. Let me explain. Most of us come here to discuss and we know that by doing so we will earn. We expect a comment on our response but often that doesn't happen. We responded so we will earn. The original poster ignores us? Not only will they earn nothing but they will NOT see us on their next discussion. Now comes the best part... This month I intend going to discussions where the original poster did not comment back and doing it for them I certainly don't get het up about it because it is their loss not ours - and I love turning a negative siuation into a positive one so... where shall we start?
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
2 Aug 10
We can learn a lot from Diana, I see you as the Mylot Guru! I like your style as always, hope you are ok my dear friend. If I get ignored then it's as you said they lose out, because they won't hear from me again and won't benefit from my experience and as you know I never give one or two lined responses, that ain't my style.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (63977)
• Italy
2 Aug 10
Hi there Wolfie! xx Long time no see! I am not a guru but, and you know my story here, I have taken time to understand things and I try to pass on my experience to others. I am saddened when I see great Lotters losing out because they do not turn their oriiginal post into a discussion time and time again
2 Aug 10
Hello Mysdianait and Wolfie. It's a shame when someone gets a lot of responses and doesn't reply, maybe they don't bother to look, thinking they're earning from other people? Sometimes it's hard to give a good reply to everyone because so many responses are sometimes similar but they made the effort so I feel like I should too. So we can go and reply to those responses even though it's not our discussion? great idea. Well if I ever see a discussion that's been ignored and it's a few weeks old maybe I'll do just that, especially if it's a "slow" day and I'm findong it hard going on here
@dawnald (84126)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Aug 10
Yeah I feel the same way. I don't expect responses 100% of the time, but if a person never responds back, I'm going to notice and stop visiting their discussions. Really the only time I don't respond is if the person's response is so off, that I just don't know what to say. Occasionally I miss one though, ie I just didn't see it...
1 person likes this
13 Aug 10
Hello Dawnald. I'm the same, so many responses are similar and I can understand them not answering all of them. Not answering any is just rude though and I avoid their discussions like the plague now. One friend had a good idea, she said to comment ourselves then at least we'd have something to type when it's quiet
1 person likes this
@dawnald (84126)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Aug 10
I had one, posted discussion after discussion after discussion, never commented back. So I went by and asked him why he never commented back. He never commented back.
1 person likes this
13 Aug 10
Roflmao I just noticed one of the culprits has posted the same discussion tonight as they posted about a week ago...unbelievable.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Aug 10
I am a new member and I have seen what you are talking about. I can't explain the lack of responses from other users, I can only speak for myself. When I post a discussion I want feedback. I am putting my thoughts out there to gain the insights of others. I do not reply to every response...mainly because some of them do not relate to my topic or add to the discussion in any way. I do however, respond to all of those who bring a meaningful perspective. I appreciate those who take the time to share their thoughts and I do my best to let them know I care. If nothing else I try to reply with a simple thank you as a gesture of respect.
1 person likes this
2 Aug 10
Hello Anobel. I agree with what you say about not replying if the response has nothing to do with the discussion. What does bother me is when someone starts a discussion then it gets loads of responses but they don't reply to any of them, so many people have just wasted their time. I know we earn money from it anyway but a reply would be nice if we've given it a lot of thought and effort.
• United States
2 Aug 10
Getting paid for a response is nice, but knowing someone is listening is worth more to me. It drives me nuts when I respond to a thread and I look back later to discover that they author doesn't really care what any of us had to say.
1 person likes this
2 Aug 10
Me too. When I see a whole discussion full of unanswered responses and the discussion is at least 10 hours old I don't bother to respond because I just know I'll be talking to myself.
@Angelgirl16 (2177)
• United States
3 Aug 10
Hi AutumnGold, It is nice to answer back, and I do. I think the email notification from Mylot is a great helper. When I see that someone has responded to my discussion or responded to my response, I get back to them right away. The thing is, I am responding to try and make a quota, so if they don't respond it is okay with me. I will answer the ones that come in my inbox and I forget the rest. I guess that is why we choose our friends here, to have support. So, you can look for me if you are responding to one of my discussions. Just do what you are doing and don't get offended if you don't get an answer back.
3 Aug 10
Hello Angelgirl. Yes the emails are a great help otherwise I'd probably forget half of what I've done on here. We get paid for what we type so yes I suppose I shouldn't let it bother me if people don't comment but I still can't help feeling like I'm talking to myself lol. I'll look out for your discussions
• United States
3 Aug 10
Hi AutumnGold, The money is the most important thing here for,me anyway. I just pick and choose something to respond to and do my best to do a good job. I do as many as I can. I don't do too many discussions, responding is fun, so I kinda do more of them. doing them has rised my bank nicely. I will watch for you as well.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
My earnings on here are building up nicely, I'm surprised. I have started a few discussions and spent quite a bit of time with them but I respond to others too. If I can't find anything to respond to I just have a break from here and come back later.
• Singapore
3 Aug 10
Hi Autumn, When you have been here awhile, you will soon identify those who always responds and those who never do so. Personally I like to hear feedback from people and I try to always give an answer back to everyone, so if I identify anybody who just starts a discussion and then "disappear", I probably wouldn't reply anymore to his/her future topics. Well, I can say such people might have their own reasons for not replying but I think it's at their own loss because they will lose the opportunity to (1) learn things (2) earn more (3) make good friends So, it doesn't really bother me much, I would just skirt to others.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
Hello Bluemoon. Yes I'm starting to recognise those who never comment so I don't even bother looking at their discussions. Like you say, commenting helps us to get to know people and it's more enjoyable when we get to know a bit about someone, it's more like a social thing than work when we know people
• Singapore
3 Aug 10
I didn't expect to make friends here when I first joined, now I think it is one of the most wonderful features here and there are so many nice people around. I'm very happy to see topics started by friends and will try to respond to these as opposed to random discussions.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
I felt the same. After spending time on Yahoo Answers for so long this is like a breath of fresh air. Yahoo Answers isn't really a social site at all although we do have contacts on there. I love seeing the same people on my discussions, it makes me feel part of a group of friends
@MrDollars (454)
• Australia
10 Aug 10
I think quite a lot of people talk to themselves. I know I do sometimes. Just happens. Yeah well it could get annoying and possibly a bit upsetting for some people if you were to put a lot of effort into an answer and no one says anything about it. But I think of it as just doing my job for helping somebody with something and getting a little bit of money for it. Soooo yeah. :) $-MrDollars-$
10 Aug 10
Hello MrDollars. Yes it's a bit insulting in a way when we make a big effort and get ignored. I think those people just think they earn from other people's responses but we don't. We have to type our own stuff otherwise we earn nothing so commenting on responses makes good sense to me
• Australia
11 Aug 10
Yeah true. I guess most people just want the money but really this site is also about making friends, learning from each other and helping each other out. Earning some money is really a bonus. $-MrDollars-$
1 person likes this
@primeaque86 (7968)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Perhaps I may feel sorry about it, or I feel sad... but we could really assure ourselves that we would get the reply we wanted every time we respond to a discussion, it's up to then whether they read it or just ignore it... all I wanted now is to respond and write what I wanted to write... in my post, I do all my best to answer those who come in... sometimes, few weeks ago, it seemed that I lost my time in here, so I prefer it not replied, but my latest post---I make sure all of them are read and responded. Thank you and God bless!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
we could not assure...
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
Hello Primeaque. I struggled to catch up with this discussion, I had 12 responses to reply to but I was determined to reply to all of them or I might look silly regarding the subject lol. I suppose we still earn money whether people reply or not but it's still nice to get a reply. God bless you too
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
3 Aug 10
I comment on the responses of others, but there are some that I dare not do. There are some discussions I start and some I respond to that no matter what I say it will always be taken the wrong way. I had responded to a discussion and I told what i thought and almost right away I got scolded for even giving my opinion. I tried to explain myself and it did not good. She or he was determined to take what I said the wrong way. It is getting that I cannot really get into a good discussion anymore and I do not want to go to the boring little discussions about shopping, saving money, etc. I want to get into something with meat in it without getting my head chopped off figuratively speaking.
3 Aug 10
Hello Suspenseful. It's bad that you feel like that, you should feel free to enter any discussion without people making you feel unwelcome. I take it there are people on here who just want to be agreed with so if anyone gives their opinion and it isn't agreed with they'll get nasty about it. That's not what discussions are about, it would be boring if everyone said the same thing.
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
3 Aug 10
I found that that is the reason why I turn off the notify me if someone comments on my response because I dread reading my email. And it also why I give a best response sooner then I really want to, because I do not want to get slammed again. I am the type who believes that if a person has murder or hatred in his or her heart or really hates your response and slams you verbally, that if that person had the time or resources, that person could find out where you are and do you harm. I can understand people who fly off the handle, or get angry and then forget about it as I am that time, but the way these people write, they thought long and hard and are already seething with resentment and to me, are more dangerous then someone with a short fuse who then hugs you and is friendly once again.
@ladym33 (11009)
• United States
9 Aug 10
For most questions I don't mind that much but if I am offereing advice on a problem or something like that and I really throw myself in to the question and I write a couple of paragraphs then I would really appreciate a response from the person who I took so much time to help. If I don't get a response for that kind of answer I get frustrated, but if it is a simple question about my own tastes then I don't mind if they dont respond.
1 person likes this
9 Aug 10
Hello Ladym. Some discussions are hard to give an original answer to so I can understand people just commenting a few times on those. What puzzles me is why people start good discussions and don't comment at all, it's a shame because they could enjoy that discussion. I'm pretty much the same as you, I get disappointed if I've really put a lot of effort in just for it to be ignored.
@lacieice (2065)
• United States
3 Aug 10
I always try to respond. Sometimes it's difficult to find something to say if the comment is only a few words, but I at least say thanks. And yes, I'm a little disappointed when I get no response to my comment. I figure those who don't respond really have no interest in the discussion they started. They just did it for the money, not realizing that responding to a comment earns them more.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
Hello Lacieice. Yes it's sometimes very difficult to give a good comment on every response because so many responses can be similar. I agree when you say some people just post discussions for the money but they need to understand that they won't earn anything if they don't comment, that's the sad part. Maybe the definition of the word "discussion" should be sent to every new member when they sign up
@krnavtr (285)
• India
3 Aug 10
I think to every discussion you make,you get answer rite.The work will never be done well due to disturbance if we stay in a group.So we have to stay far with each other and feel as if we are talking to a brick.If i don't get a response i will not think that i have wastage my time but i will think one day or other i may get response.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
Hello Krnavtr. If I don't get a reply more than once from the same person I won't respond again as we obviously don't have anything to talk about. Yes one day someone might reply so you haven't wasted your time
@diogz22 (516)
• Philippines
3 Aug 10
Yah I think it would not be a waste of your time if your have posted a response to discussion and yet you didn't got a reply. I think giving your opinion on something without waiting for a reply is just like you writing a book with no intention of who you are writing to. Of course there would be someone who might be decent enough to reply you that would be a considered a bonus. As long as you have imparted what you are thinking I think that's fine.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
Hello Diogz. Yes and we wouldn't write a letter and send it to no address I think people who start these discussions then just ignore them don't know what "discussion" means. There's no point in letting all of those responses go to waste because they don't earn anything or get to know what people are saying.
@T_Diamond (965)
• New Zealand
3 Aug 10
I rarely leave lenthy answers, but when I do, I do expect a reply in return. As someone who's started a discussion, I feel the need to reply to those long answers to avoid the guilt. Even if I don't know what to say, "Thank you for your responce" usually does it.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
Hello T Diamond. Yes I'd feel guilty if I couldn't think of anything to say to someone who'd given a big long respons lol. My comments are sometimes really short because I can't think of anything to say but I always leave a comment of some sort.
@jennyze (7048)
• Indonesia
3 Aug 10
I saw that, too. Members posted a discussion and commented on the first response only, some don't even bother to comment at all. Now, before responding to a discussion, I will check if whoever posted the discussion gives comments to the responses.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
Hello Jenny. I do that too, if a discussion is over 10 hours old and there are no comments I check to see if their other discussions have comments. I once went through discussions on a profile and the first 15 had no comments so I gave up after that and removed the friend, as they were posting about 20 discussions per day. It doesn't take long to comment and if I have a lot of comments to leave I sometimes just do a few at a time then go back later with a fresh mind
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
3 Aug 10
I reply if I have something to say which I usually do, but not every time. I do understand your point though, giving someone an honest and well thought reply and they don't even acknowledge it is rude. Plus these are suppose to be DISCUSSIONS... Hereis what the dictionary says: an act or instance of discussing; consideration or examination by argument, comment, etc., esp. to explore solutions; informal debate. Sounds like at least a two person job for that..lol
3 Aug 10
Hello Carmel. Yes a discussion needs at lest two people to carry it. Maybe these people think a long list of responses IS a discussion but they're individual opinions which need to be discussed. I think Mylot should include the definition in it's sign up page
• United States
3 Aug 10
To be honest, sometimes it bothers me and sometimes it doesn't.It depends on the discussion. I tend to respond to whoever replies to my discussion, but sometimes, I'm either too tired or not feeling well enough to respond. The worst is when I don't know what to say--and that's happened a bunch of times. It's not like I don't appreciate and welcome their responses (then I wouldn't have made a discussion). Just sometimes I can't respond--and I feel bad about it.
1 person likes this
3 Aug 10
Hello Stephanie. I've had that problem a few times, so many responses have been similar and I like to give unique, personal comments but it's very difficult sometimes so I agree with you there. Those discussions where the person doesn't comment at all are the ones which bother me, it's like a load of people are just talking to themselves.
2 Aug 10
It depends, if the good answer is something that can be replied to, sometimes the best answers don't need any replies as all you can do is agree with them :P I don't mind if someone replies or not if I just put out my view but if I am looking for replies in my answer I will mention it and if no one replies that's when I'll think I spoke to a brick wall like you put it.
1 person likes this
2 Aug 10
Hello Parrot. Yes sometimes it's hard to think of stuff to say, I've been like that myself and really struggled because so many responses are too similar. I think the more experienced members have a way of making their response stand out from the rest even though it says basically the same, I suppose that comes with experience