Disabled Children

United States
August 3, 2010 2:18pm CST
I was just wondering how many of us there are that have taken our children out to the store and have had someone try to tell you how to disipline your child when they know nothing about the situation? I have an Autistic child with several other problems and when he has too much stimulation he has a melt down. Does not matter where I am at the time when it happens. I have had people tell me I should spank him, that I should take him out of the store, and that they would never let their child act like that. I am so sick of people only seeing how he is acting without thinking about why and it not being that he is just a spoiled rotten child.
2 people like this
12 responses
• Australia
4 Aug 10
I have a disabled child too and if anyone says anything to me about any of my kids acting bad and tell me how to treat them I very politely ask them if they have any children of their own and if they say yes I give them my deepest sympathies to pass on to their children and if they say no I tell them to mind their own damn business until they do have one of their own.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
lucky are those born complete. i was sad to know that you have a child like that,your child needs more special affection form you, more care from you,you have to love your child more, so that he can apply it to himself also,to discipline,is a part of growing child, but not to the point of hurting your child or what ever other people suggested you to do. he need more love and care...let your child feel that way and he will behave of her/his own.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
Children with disability must be treated with special care and understanding.They have this mentality of being rude for some time and they must need extra attention. But I admire parents of these special children because of their unconditional support and care. It's not an easy task to have these in your life but I believe that disabled children have a place in our society. They still have to interact with normal children and enjoy their no matter how hard it is for them and for others.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Aug 10
My son has ADHD and problems with his short term memory. He is also developmentally delayed. I also have had parents say that they would beat their kids butt if he acted like that because he is having a meltdown in the store. They have also called him a spoiled brat and asked can't I control my child. I told them that my son has some medical problems and he gets overstimulated sometimes. It is best for me to walk away from him and he will soon calm down. Most of them are embarrassed and walk away from me.
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (13045)
3 Aug 10
I have a child with ADHD and in the past there were parents at the school who use to see him having a session of a bad day and they use to comment aswell as tried to get him taken out of the school away from their children.Now that he is on medication he is alot better than he was,aswell as he has a name for the reason the way he is.It is soo hard to put up with other peoples comments,unless they have children like ours then they should keep their mouths shut,as they are the ones that have a easy life and i am sure aswell as i know that their children are not perfect.I would tell them what he has wrong with him and then ask them whats their illness for the way they are,thats why i have done in the past aswell as asked them whats their childs excuse.lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Aug 10
I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have a younger brother with sever autism, and he is prone to jumping around and screaming in excitement at random times, or randomly make loud noises, which is especially troubling while at church or places like the library. People are always cutting their eyes at him, and I feel like they'd have said something about his behavior if it wasn't for the fact that I was cutting my eyes right back! I have cut off friends for being "freaked out" by my brother, or for calling him "bad". Sorry to say, but my life includes my brother, and if you can't deal with him I can't deal with you. People are quick to insert their opinions, when they have very little knowledge of the situation at hand. Though I do not like the fact that my brother has autism, I have gained from it. If he'd never had autism, I'd probably have been one of the people I'm speaking against right now! He has truly shown me that you can't criticize someone without knowing their situation. Sure, we've probably all told ourselves this, but until you're the one being criticized, you don't really apply it.
@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
4 Aug 10
I have no patience for people who make it their business to tell a parent how to deal with a child considering that a lot of the time these individuals don’t even have children of their own! I’ve had folks tell me what to do in a public place with my daughter as well as make comments on what I happen to be feeding her! People have no right to make judgements when they don’t know the situation such as in your case. It is very rude and I’m sure it enflames and already difficult situation for you. I would say ignore the comments but I know it’s difficult...
• Philippines
4 Aug 10
hi ms nigthrose, i know what you feel and i feel sorry for those people who think that youre not a good mother to your children maybe their blind to see what your child is,or they just ignore it and try to be more impressive with others by talking to you like that the way how you discipline your child.dont think of think there are just people who are very inconsiderate and very ignorant bout the situation just continue loving caring your child and i know god has a plan why this things happen to you .
@momof3kids (1903)
• Singapore
4 Aug 10
I read all that those who has responded and I agree that you should put them in their place and tell them off. My cousin was in her twenties when she had cancer and lost her hair in the process of healing. My aunt told us that at one time, she went to the store wearing a cap to hide her bald head when a teenage boy teased her about being bald. She came home crying her eyes out. I wished i had been there to tell the boy off, how dare he? I hope your post will send people thinking and to teach their children about sensitivity and not being plain ignorant.
@allknowing (68752)
• India
4 Aug 10
You should get used to people reacting that way as they have little patience with whatever inconvenience they might go through because of your child. And once you know that these reactions will be there handling them will be much easier.
@Hatley (164507)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Aug 10
hi nightrose thats so sad as more and more people must have heard a little about autism.That is so typical of a lot of people to just judge without a clue as to the real problems you face with you autistic child. I would suggest you tell them that he is autistic and please just go about your business.If they have that much gall I am sure their feelings are not easily hurt. Another comeback might be please go home and read up on Autism first before you tell me what to do.
• United States
3 Aug 10
My sister has an autistic son and has had these types of situations in public as well. People can be very rude when they do not know the whole of a situation. The last time it happened and some lady walked up and told her that she needed to do something about her son my sister took a few minutes to calm down and then went over to the lady. She very nicely said, "I just wanted you to know that my son is retarded, what is your excuse for the way you are acting?" The lady apologized...sometimes we just don't know!