Do you sometimes have trouble saying NO to a person?

@m_perez (506)
United States
August 6, 2010 12:04am CST
I really think I have trouble saying No to people. Every time someone asks me for a favor and if I say no..then they start begging and that's when I give in and say yes. I think I'm a really a big pushover when it comes to friends. One time I was at my friends house and I had to leave before it got too late. Then she asked me if I could stay a little longer and I couldn't bring myself to say no. There's been other situations in which I did not want to be a part of but I was because I didn't say no. So do you have trouble saying no when it comes to a certain friend or family member.
3 people like this
29 responses
@T_Diamond (965)
• New Zealand
6 Aug 10
Absolutely. The problem with saying "yes" though..is that sometimes you end up regretting it and then having to make up some louzy excuse as to why you said it... Lesson learnt
1 person likes this
@m_perez (506)
• United States
7 Aug 10
Oh yes I have had that experience too many times. Like when they ask me to go to the movies and I say yes even though I know I can't go. Then later I have to make up some convincing excuse which I'm really not good at. Though now I gotten better at avoiding situations like that.
@tbmomin (25)
• India
6 Aug 10
I have the same problem. I can never say no even though I know its going to be difficult doing it. Our head or our boss calls me up anytime asking me to do odd jobs and I never refuse her. Sometimes she can be a real pain in the neck. Yet since Ive said yes, I cannot run away from it and eventually have to finish up the job. I am so tired of myself doing the same thing over and over again. When the time for submitting some papers finally comes I'll be up all night trying to complete it. I can never say no to friends either.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
7 Aug 10
Looks like your boss found out that you never say no. Well I wouldn't say no if it was my boss because I wouldn't want to lose my job. I'm really sorry though that you have to stay up at night submitting papers. That can be a real pain as well as a boss sending you to do odd jobs. Doesn't she ever ask someone else to do the jobs or is it just you?
• India
7 Aug 10
Its always me maybe because Im quite efficent and very hard working while others try to find some excuse or the other to refuse the job. Well I work for the Govt so she has no authority to fire me. So I could have refused her anytime. However, my only problem is that I always say yes. Wish I could just say NO.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Then never mind I would be able to say no in that kind of situation. I only have trouble saying no to my friends but I wouldn't have trouble saying no to a boss that can't fire me. Maybe you don't like to say no to her because your a hard worker. At least though you should be proud that your not like the other people finding an excuse and you do your best. I would like to have you as an employee well if i were in charge of anything but I'm not. :)
@sjaswon (639)
• Jamaica
7 Aug 10
You should said no mean no. No is your decision. They think you are weak.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
9 Aug 10
Yep I'm pretty sure they think I'm weak. Though now I only say yes to trusted friends. They don't take advantage of me well at least I hope they don't.
• United States
7 Aug 10
I use to have a very big problem saying no, especially when asked to do favors for people or let them borrow or use my things. I just figured, "why not?" But when someone asked to see my phone to call for a ride one day, and they ran off with it (stealing it), I learned to say no very quickly, even to friends. There is nothing wrong with being nice, but know when to draw the line. You can't help everyone, because not everyone deserves to be helped. When I feel like I have something to lose if it goes bad, I say no.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
9 Aug 10
They actually ran with your phone. I really know how it feels to have things stolen from you. I hate how people can just steel and not feel guilty. I too have also learned to say no to strangers or people I know but I don't trust. They take advantage of you. I only have trouble saying no to friends I trust because I feel bad. I feel like a cold hearted friend. The only time I can say no is when they ask to borrow money because I know they'll take their time and eventually they won't pay me back because they'll forget by that time. I'm not the kind of person that keeps reminding people to pay them back. I feel mean when I do that. But your right I can't be nice all the time.
@Absinto (2397)
• Portugal
6 Aug 10
I only have trouble saying no to those ~that are closest to me and those who i trust the most. I have even more trouble saying it to those who never say no to me. Now to the rest i say no without thinking twice.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
7 Aug 10
Maybe we say yes to our closest friends because well we trust that they won't take advantage of us. I also have trouble saying no to those who never say no to me because I feel as though I owe them. I also don't have trouble saying no to the rest of the people.
• United States
6 Aug 10
yes i have a big problem with that n i hate it becuz some ppl deserve to be told no especially when you can never get a favor for them. and not saying no can sometimes end you up in a situation that you dont want to be in i really gotta learn how to say no even if it hurts becuz always saying yes can possibly hurt worse
@m_perez (506)
• United States
10 Aug 10
I have learned to say no to strangers or people I barely know because I have ended up in situations that I really didn't want to be in. I'm glad I learned my lesson on that. Although now I just need to work on saying no to my close friends. They're the ones I can't say no to at all but at least they don't get me into trouble unlike other people who have.
@Goldamier (104)
• Philippines
6 Aug 10
Yeah even in our family, when for instance my brother asked some money even if I'm already struggling or I'm really in need I couldn't say no.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
10 Aug 10
I actually have no trouble saying no to family members only to friends. I think it's because I really know my family and it's really simple for me to say no right away. As for friends I think I can't say no because then they might view me as a mean person or someone that doesn't care about others.
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
6 Aug 10
Yes i got some trouble also because I am also the person who was hard to say no to a friend or others. When my friend asking for favor of anything that i have they really insist and the NO answer that i prepared for a long time of practice not serve again. I am weak to say no if I know that can do it or i know that i have it. But the good thing is i never regret to what I did. Whatever I gave was not mean to me I consider it as i lost something that i cannot find or I am really happy to give to others if i have in me. Things, kinds or money or even my time. How happy to give..
@m_perez (506)
• United States
10 Aug 10
At least we're not the only ones. Anyways thank you because I really never thought of how much someone can get from my time or how happy I should really be for helping one of my friends. Though I do have some favors that I regret so now I'm just trying to avoid favors that I cannot complete or that I will regret doing. Also I do favors only to friends now because I know they will not ask me to do something I really don't want to do or take advantage of me weakness.
@w1986114 (158)
• China
6 Aug 10
i have the same trouble as you,especially to my best friends.but i think it's still ok,cuz friends can't ask me do something bad,and giving in to them is not a bad thing either,lol
@m_perez (506)
• United States
10 Aug 10
For me friends will ask me to do something I don't want to do. I had a friend who always wanted me to sneak out and go hang out with her. I never said yes to her because I never saw her as a trusted friend. Now we just don't talk...I never really considered her a friend in the first place. I only say yes to friends whom I trust and I know they won't take advantage of me.
@ryheanne (222)
• South Korea
6 Aug 10
Sometimes yes but if I really don't feel like staying I persisted. It is just the way you like it or not.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
10 Aug 10
I just don't like being like that for some reason but I also don't like that I can't say no all the time. Eventually I'm going to get sick of it and never do favors to people ever again.
@sender621 (14956)
• United States
6 Aug 10
This would all have to depend on the situation and the people involved. it is easier to say no to a stranger or to something you don't care about. It is harder for me to say no to my children or other family members. I don't want to be one who just gives in all the time. On the other hand, i don't want to be cold hearted either. I will say no if i believe it is not in the best interests of those involved.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
8 Aug 10
I also have no trouble saying no to strangers because I don't know them and I will probably never see them ever again. So doing a stranger a favor would be meaningless. I really feel that if I say no then I will seem like I'm a mean person and people well my friends will get upset or something. I think I try to hard to make people happy. I think everyone has a hard time saying no to the people they care about or love.
• Philippines
6 Aug 10
There are times when I am having trouble saying no to a person - most especially if the person is very close to or in desperate need. So saying no to most situations - is not a problem at all. Even if we are not obliged to do so but once we see the people we care about is in real need of our help - that would be the time that I gave in. I have also my share in being said "no" when it comes to favor asking but I always try to respect it whatever is there decision. =)
@m_perez (506)
• United States
8 Aug 10
Well your a good friend I would say ..even though you say no to them in other situations..you say yes to them when they really need your help. When they need your help that's the best time to say yes but in my case I say yes all the time. I too respect when people say no to me after asking them a favor because I know how it feels to not want to do a favor.
@dpk262006 (54758)
• Delhi, India
6 Aug 10
Hi! I also face the problem sometimes, when it becomes difficult for me to say 'no', even if in my hearts of heart, am unwilling to say yes. I think the other person might feel hurt and I say 'yes' to him/her.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
7 Aug 10
I know how you feel. If I say no then I have a feeling that the person might get mad or upset. Though I don't say yes to strangers because well I really don't know them. I really only do favors for people I know.. because well they're my friends.
• Philippines
6 Aug 10
Sometimes I have no trouble in saying "No" to people. Only I felt lonely for them if they try to insists what they want. And in the end I wouldn't agree.So better not to expect them if you can't give the favor they ask.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
8 Aug 10
I try not to say yes to the favors I can't do for them. What I hate more than saying no is not being able to complete their favors and satisfy them. So I try not to get myself involved in to things like that. If I actually say no and they keep insisting eventually I'll say yes. I don't like seeing people beg.
• Philippines
6 Aug 10
I don't have hard times saying No to a friend or any kind of people because if I don't want to, I will say what I want. But when my crush will ask for any favor, I think that's another issue. LOL
@m_perez (506)
• United States
7 Aug 10
Well I guess people will say yes to the people they love like in your case. Lol!. Anyways your lucky you don't have such trouble saying no to people. It really is annoying how I can't do it.
• Philippines
6 Aug 10
Oh Boy!..its like all the time!!!... Most of the time is when people asks for assistance(mostly financial). they will give you reason like their kids, their parents ans so on and so fort. I cant say NO now because I have been on the same path before and I know how hard it is. That would be fine actually. The problem is if you have said a YES to somebody whom you know will give to some pain in the butt someday.
@m_perez (506)
• United States
7 Aug 10
I would actually have no problem saying no to people who ask me for money. I would only give them money if they were in deep trouble. Yes it is very hard to say no and I had this problem since I was a kid and most would take advantage of that. Though now less people especially my closest friends don't take advantage of me. They know I'm a push over but they don't like taking advantage of people. Anyways I would never say yes to a stranger it's simple for me to say no to someone I don't know and probably won't ever see again.
@LadyDD (519)
• Romania
26 Aug 10
Saying no to people or friends is hard to me as well sometimes. It happens when I'm not decided yet if I can accept or not the favor. It depends on the mood I am in. But if there is something I cannot accept ever, I easily and clearly say no to that person or friend.
@bystander (2294)
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
there's no trouble saying no to people... it's the underlying difficulty in saying it... especially when there are considerations you have to contend with...
• Philippines
10 Aug 10
No, I don't have any difficulty saying "no" when I really should do so. I am an assertive person, and other people think of me as that. Especially now that I am studying to be a lawyer, assertiveness and firmness are essential.
• United States
10 Aug 10
I absolutely have trouble saying no to people, especially ones I care about. I feel obligated to help them as much as I possibly can, and sometimes forget that I'm only human. A lot of times, I will, like you start off saying no, and then they beg...So I try to think of a way to be able to say yes. It's gotten so bad that I'll often say "I'm so sorry, I can't...is there something else I can do for you?"